


Glory and Gore

by Kahnah



Series: Royalty Verse [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood, Dark Thoughts, F/M, Self-Harm, Sequel, Violence, king!au, royalty!au, shitty parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-02-14 17:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 133,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2200002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahnah/pseuds/Kahnah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The throne left a bitter taste in his mouth because this picture was so filled with memories. He had literally grown up in this room, was educated right here by Jack and Geoff and had listened to their stories.<br/>And in the end they had torn each other to pieces over the question who was allowed to sit right there and wear a pretty crown for all to see.</p><p> </p><p>Sequel to Everybody Wants to Rule the World.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And here we go again Ladies and Gents!  
> I hope you are ready for our next journey and I hope I won't dissapoint anyone. All the positive feedback, art and theories are amazing and I hope I can keep that up! I met so many amazing people thanks to this story and I still have a lot of fun writing with these charas and they have so much potential!  
> Let's see where this will head to; I am really excited!

Glory and Gore

 

 

Chapter 1

 

_Can't take back the card you dealt_

_In this long and lonely road to hell_

_The throne must be_

_Such a sad and lonely place_

 

 

He had made sure that he was clean and presentable. He had made sure that his coat was waving behind him and gave a good look on the sword that wasn't his for the lack of his bow. He had made sure that his crown was sitting straight on his head, catching the light of the sun, even going so far to let some flames ignite on it. Just for show.

More than once he had made sure that Ray was still right behind him before Gavin walked into the city. With his head held high and determined steps to cover up how nervous he was.

His people were turning around and soon there was a whisper tailing them through the streets. The guards they passed on their ways either followed him, shielding him from the crowd or didn't react, unsure of what to do.

Gavin didn't speak to either of them, simply concentrating on Rays step right behind him to remind himself that he wasn't alone. It still felt like an eternity until he reached the actual castle, watching as the gate was opened for him.

It seemed to take longer than normally and he guessed the guards were uncertain and confused. Questioning if he was the king or not.

Gavin wasn't naive enough to trust them yet, he knew that some of them had betrayed him when they let Geoff into the castle without his knowledge. He also knew that most of the others would have done the same.

Right now he couldn't be sure who were the few loyal ones so it was easier to simply trust none of them.

So he let their eyes follow them, let them talk while he passed as he walked down the familiar halls until he stepped into the throne room. His legs burned from the long walk as he finally allowed himself to stand still, listening as the door closed behind him and let out a heavy sigh.

That had been as hard as he had imagined.

His composure crumpled immediately and he felt exhausted.

“Welcome home.”, Ray mumbled next to him and the king followed his gaze, his eyes finding the throne.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth because this picture was so filled with memories. He had literally grown up in this room, was educated right here by Jack and Geoff and had listened to their stories.

And in the end they had torn each other to pieces over the question who was allowed to sit right there and wear a pretty crown for all to see.

How he himself had come out of this alive, he couldn't understand but he was glad that he did.

Some people may even say he was the winner of the fight but damn it didn't feel like it.

Stepping up, he placed a hand on the cushions, letting it travel until he took a huge breath and sat down. Ray was bowing the moment his eyes fell on him: “Long live King Gavin.”

Gavin smiled at that: “Stop that and sit down.”

 

A lot of work had piled up in the days he had been gone and even though it was an alarming amount, he decided to ignore it for now. There were more important matters right now.

So the next day he asked every guard and every knight and every other person working under him to assemble on the court where he stood, waiting patiently for silence. And when it finally got quiet, he told them that they were free to go if they rather wanted to follow King Geoffrey than him, because now he was king and he had no use for traitors. Everyone he was going to catch working against him was going to get banned.

He made sure that they knew that King Geoffrey wasn't coming back. He was sounding way certainer than he actually was.

Many left the castle but he held no grudge against them. At least they were honest, leaving the sinking ship as they called it. The ones that stayed but didn't show any loyalty towards him were the ones he despised.

After that scene he allowed himself a moment to collect his thoughts. Ray was sitting right next to him, his head leaned against his shoulder and once again Gavin couldn't express how glad he was to have him. He hadn't left his side at all, only parting at night when they went to their own rooms.

He held him together.

Maybe they both also held each other together, he wasn't really sure.

Still the hardest part was yet to come and it made him lay awake in his bed for hours upon hours.

It was his duty as a king to tell his people what had happened but he couldn't find a way how to do it. Gavin was aware that they were scared and confused and some of them angry. He felt those same emotions.

There was no way he was going to tell them that they were some sort of demons. They were going to be dethroned and executed as fast as possible. And he was too ashamed to admit that his father had come back only to kill him. Still the people deserved an explanation, seeing the ruckus they had caused.

It was hard to decide which words to use, knowing the risk a wrong one would bear.

He wished Ryan was here.

Of course Gavin had gone over the topic with Ray multiple times and they had worked something out in the end. But Ryan had way more experience in that.

Maybe he was just missing him.

So when he stepped onto the balcony a few days later he felt like throwing up. His heart was fluttering, leaving him short of breath. Once again it was Ray who was right next to him, holding on to his hand for support. It calmed his nerves a bit and he told his halfhearted lies. That yes there had been a dispute between him and Geoff and yes it had escalated but now they had found a compromise. But no, Geoffrey wouldn't come back and be the king. He was the king now.

In the end Gavin made sure they knew that all of the things were going to calm down soon enough. It was just taking a bit more time.

He hoped that he was right.

After that they concentrated on the work that was left. Ray had asked around but it seemed the person Geoff had left behind to attend to the kingdom had fled the moment he heard of Gavins return, so they both had the pleasure to dig through the massive amount of old reports.

It was welcome in some way, seeing that they didn't think too much that way until Michael and Lindsay would join them.

Ray had suggested to sent Kerry Shawcross to replace Lindsay, a young man he knew from training and one of the knights that stayed. Gavin had let him come to the throne room and talked with him for a long time.

It was a delicate and depressing job at the portal and the king knew he had to chose the right person to do it, otherwise Lindsay wouldn't agree. These people there had been her life in the past years and he was sure that not even Geoff could bring her to simply give them up. But Kerry was patient and polite, nearly radiating calmness and he seemed eager to do it. Fighting wasn't his thing, as he put it and he rather talked with people, listening to their stories.

So Gavin sent him out, hoping that Lindsay was going to agree with his choice.

And in the endless days of work that question burned inside his head as he waited for whoever was going to knock on his door.

 

Ray frowned at the report in front of him. Yet another killed man in his own house with no trace of the culprit. That would make half a dozen of those incidents and even if the knight could understand that people were uneasy while their king had been away, it didn't give them the right to escalate in a blur of aggression. That they even became creative, committing murder in apparently closed rooms only led to strange rumors over demons that roamed in the night.

Absentmindedly he watched a guard walk in, giving Gavin a small package before leaving. He didn't even wasted another thought on that until the king got to his feet: “It's here!”

“What is?”, he asked, happy for every distraction and Gavin was already ripping it open, revealing the color. Ray started to smile, knowing already what it was and felt dumb because he hadn't thought about it before.

The coat was of an even deeper red because it was new and maybe it was a bit longer than his old one but besides that it was the same. That was until it was unfolded, revealing fine stitchery at the sides, silver lines twirling like tendrils to the bottoms.

“You shouldn't have to.”, he said fondly, already approaching him. Gavin didn't even bother replying as he put the coat around the others shoulders. “Right where it belongs!”, he declared proudly.

“It's a bit heavier, isn't it?”

“Does it bother you? It's thicker and suited for the winter. I can give you another one if you want to.”

“No, it's perfect! I'm glad – thank you, Gav!”

“Wait!”, the king made sure that Ray held onto the coat before he hurried back to the throne. “I hope you like this one, too. Took me some time to figure something out.” He revealed a brooch and for a moment the knight simply stared at it in awe. It was formed like a rose, with thorns surrounding it like a star, the petals fragile lines of silver which held a bright red ruby in the middle.

“Gavin...”

“It's different from Geoffs one but I hope you still like it! Silver is my color but I wanted to get some red in it.”

“It's beautiful! There is no way I can accept this, it looks like it costs a fortune!”

“Don't worry; it's the least that I can do.”, the king assured him, smiling brightly when he came closer clasping the cloak together with the new brooch. It was surprisingly heavy for such a small thing.

“There we go!” Clapping, Gavin stepped back to look at him before nodding: “I like it! Red really suits you!”

Ray blushed happily: “Are you sure this is alright?”

“Absolutely!”

 

The noise echoed through the quiet night, so out of place that Ray was instantly awake. Raising his lids, he stared into the nothingness above him, feeling his heart beat in his chest, forcing blood through his veins.

His hand wandered over the covers, searching for a body next to him that wasn't there. It felt out of place to wake up without a weight resting on him, reminding him that he was still in the right place. His fingers found the familiar fabric and he let the breath out he didn't know he was holding. This was his bed. He was safe.

Blinking slowly, the faint images of the Nether vanished from his lids. Had it been just another nightmare?

It was such a normal thing now that the realization made his body relax. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, feeling sleep on the edge of his consciousness when his blood calmed down.

Another noise and this time he recognized it as a knock on his door. Groaning, he forced himself to sit up.

“What is it?”, he called out, letting his face drop in his hands.

“I'm sorry for disturbing you at such a late hour, my Lord!”, came the voice he somehow recognized but couldn't find a face for. It didn't matter. “The King sent me. He asked for your um... for your company, sir.”

Blinking again, he got to his feet, feeling his heart pick up the pace again. Gavin did? At this hour?

“Did something happen?”

“No. He just asked for you.”

“Alright.” Not bothering to change into his uniform, Ray simply took his rapier before stepping out. Gavin wouldn't mind and what the guard thought of him didn't matter to him.

Barely taking a glance at the other man, he walked with huge steps. Probably just a nightmare. Maybe a nasty one, otherwise the king wouldn't call for him. No intruder or something like that, the guards outside his rooms would have heard that.

Still he was on edge because with Michael and Ryan not here, he himself was the only one he could trust in the castle.

They quickly reached the kings quarters and without a word, he passed the men, feeling their eyes on his back. By tomorrow rumors were going to spread.

But they always did.

He knocked once: “Gav? It's me.”

“Come in.”, came the answer and he entered the room before closing the door, standing still at the sight he was greeted with.

“I had a nightmare.”, Gavin explained with a calm voice. He was sitting on his bed, his hands carefully lifted, palms up. There was still blood dripping down his arms. “Sorry for waking you but I didn't know who else to ask.”

Ray licked his lips nervously, before stepping closer: “You scratched them again?”

“Yeah. But this time I didn't wake up from it. I made a mess.” The smile was shaken and the knight rather looked at the bed, seeing hand prints over the blanket and big drops on the mattress.

Turning around, he got the washbasin from the bathroom before sitting next to the king: “Let me see.”

Gavin offered his hands with no resistance and carefully Ray began to wash the blood away.

The scratches had long broken the skin and didn't get a chance to heal properly before he pulled at them again, gouging deeper with each dream.

“You'll get scars if you don't stop.”, he mumbled as he carefully cleaned the slashes.

“I know.”, the king replied. Ray knew that he knew that. Ray was also aware that he wanted the scratches to remain. Tattooed in his skin for what he had done.

It wasn't in his might to change Gavins mind on that. Only Ryan could do that.

When he revealed the red and swollen skin, he got up and went back into the bathroom. Searching around, he found some bandages and a balsam before he went back.

Gavin still sat on the edge of the bed just like he had left him, his eyes tired but concentrated.

“Thank you.”, he mumbled when the knight started the already familiar process of patching him up. “They should come back soon, right?”

“Yeah.”, Ray agreed without looking up from his work. “But it really depends on their route and if there were any obstacles. Still they should be here in the next days. They will hurry, I'm sure Geoff told Lindsay to not lose any time.”

“She makes me nervous. I fear I will ruin it all.”

“She is not a bad person, Gav. And you are not a demon. I don't believe that you will simply snap and bring danger to the people in your kingdom.”

“But I don't have a mirror to tell me when I make a mistake.”, he simply said, his lips shaking a bit. “All the responsibility is mine.”

“Ryan will be with them.”, Ray assured him. “And he will help you. It will go back to the way it was before.”

“I hope so.”, the king mumbled darkly, before sighing. “I don't know what I will do if he won't come back.”

“He made it out of the Nether before.”

“His wounds were so terrible...”

“But he won't feel them, you made sure of that.”, Ray reminded him and the king whined a bit. “If it didn't work I don't know how I can forgive myself. I killed him! I never killed someone that was close to me!”

“Ryan would have died in way more pain if you hadn't done it.”, the knight assured him. They had this conversation all the time and he knew no matter how much he was going to tell Gavin that he had done the right thing, it was still going to haunt him. He could only pray that Ryan was coming back, otherwise it was going to be a long and dark way.

“Maybe he won't even join Michael and Lindsay.”, the king mumbled low. “For all we know he could be fed up with all this fighting and all the pain. Maybe he went back home to his family. I couldn't blame him for that.”

“Than Michael would know, right? And as long as Ryan is alive everything is fine.”

Timidly, Gavin nodded: “I still hope he comes back.”

“I'm sure he will.”

“Can you stay tonight?”

“Of course.”

 

The days faded without much difference. Catching up with the workload from the moment they walked in until their eyes became too tired made most of it a swirling mess. Ray was even sure he read some reports twice but the sad truth was that there was apparently a murderer running around, stabbing his victims in their houses, before leaving without a trace. But the soldiers were on that, so not much he could do besides wait.

And as if someone heard that thought a knock disturbed the silence as a guard walked in. What timing it would be if they had found the culprit right now.

“My liege. I am sorry for the disturbance!”

“What is it?”, Gavin looked up, his eyes tired as he tried to focus on the man.

“Someone asks for an audience. She said your Highness was expecting her.”

“How many?”

“Excuse me?”

“How many people?”, whispered the king, barely audible but in the silence of the room the shaking of his voice was clear.

“A woman in black armor, Jones and the old King.”

Gavins hand found his mouth as he collapsed in his throne, a strangled noise still escaping him. Ray threw him a look, noticing the trembling going through the others body and knew he was going to need a moment.

“Please lead them in. They are our guest.”, he told the man before he turned back towards the other the moment they were alone again. “See. I told you!”

A whimper was his only reply and the knight smiled a bit as he rubbed the others back: “He made it back. They all made it.”

“Yeah.”, it was barely more than a choked sob.

“You think you can pull yourself together? Otherwise I ask them to wait for a moment.”

“No, I'll be fine. I'm just...” He took a deep breath, holding it with closed eyes until he straightened his back again. Nodding, he said: “I can do it.”

“Alright.” Still the minutes they had to wait were tortures and even Ray couldn't help but be nervous. With Lindsay here things were going to change. He wasn't yet certain to which extend but that was for sure. Right now he couldn't really put her into a category.

She was determined and strong willed, he knew that. But also caring and he was pretty confident she had a good heart. Hopefully she wanted to avoid a conflict as much as they all wanted.

The door opened and he heard Gavin inhale as he stood up. They saw Michael first, letting Lindsay pass while holding the door for her and Ray made a mental note to mock him for that later.

Ryan wasn't following them and the knight felt the light feeling fade, coldness gripping at his chest.

“I don't want to prolong your reunion for long.”, the woman smiled softly at the shocked faces. “I wanted to talk to you before you meet Ryan, so that you guys have some time for yourselves.”

”So he is back?”

“Alive and kicking.”, she assured him and the king actually laughed, the tension leaving his shoulders. With long steps, he walked towards them and when his eyes found those of Michael both of them grinned. The warrior pulled him into a bear hug, letting his feet leave the ground for a moment: “You alright, my boy?”

“I am! What about you?”

“Sure am! You know what they say about bad weeds!”

Gavin laughed, following Michaels gaze when he was put down. Ray was standing behind him, obviously nervous and with a dark shadow on his face: “What about your arm?”

“Gave me a sweet scar.”, the warrior replied happily, ruffling the others hair. “Fits the other one pretty good so I should actually be grateful!” He winked: “Like the new look on you. You really lacked some red.”

For a moment it seemed like the knight was going to reply something but couldn't think of the right words. In the end he simply closed the space between them and hugged the other tight. Chuckling, Michael held him before he nodded towards the woman.

Gavin understood and stepped towards her: “Sorry, that was rude. Of course I am also glad that you are here.”

“It's alright. He missed you both.”

“Did you have a save trip?”

“Some mobs but nothing serious. But we are all tired.” Reaching out, she took his hand. He let her trace the lines of the scratches with the tips of her fingers: “If you want I can attend to them tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”, the king simply said and her eyes found him, knowing that this was in no way an agreement. But that wasn't her choice: “Kerry is a great person.”

“I'm glad. He seemed the be patient enough for the job.”

“He has a big heart. If it's alright with you I'd like to sometimes sent him a letter? Just to make sure if everything is alright but it would be quite a trip for the messenger.”

“No, that's absolutely fine.”

“I appreciate that. Anything else you need to tell me?” Her hands were still warm and soft around his but he felt that she was now talking about business. This woman wasn't his foe but someone he shouldn't underestimate. So he decided to be honest: “We're still working though everything that piled up so by now just some minor stuff. You can look over it for yourself but by now there wasn't anything too serious about it.”

“I see.”, she nodded before smiling again. “If it is alright with you I'd like to rest for today. We marched through the night and I don't want to bother you any further.”

“As you wish.”, he felt his nervousness coming back and had to lick his lips before continuing. “Ray, please be so kind and show Lindsay her accommodation.”

“Of course.” He gave Michael a small pat on the shoulder before leading the woman out of the throne room. He was still a bit nervous in her company but he tried to get used to her right from the start. They had prepared one of the nicest rooms for her, with a balcony right over the garden an-

Ryan waited in the hallway right outside and he was alive and he was not drenched in red and he was looking up at the sound of their steps, their eyes meeting.

“Ray.”

The knight simply stared, feeling a smile sneak on his face, surprised by his own turmoil of feelings in his head. Of course he had looked forward to this moment but rather for Gavins sake. Right now he felt his own tension fall, knowing that he could share his weight now, that he could concentrate on protecting the king and not worry about the kingdom as well.

With the counselor coming back there was going to be a thing to hold on and he felt unbelievable relieved by that. Right now he wanted nothing more than to hug him as tight as Michael had done and make sure that he was really alright, that now there was going to be some peace in their minds.

He caught himself when he was already halfway there, his arms slightly raised and he blushed furiously. That was still the person he had hated more than anything in the world, the person he had killed once even thought that felt like an eternity ago. It was still not a thing he should do.

Ryan smiled as if he knew exactly what went on in his head but didn't mind it in the slightest.

“You're back!”, Ray finally settled to say. “That's good; that's great! Gavin really missed you! Oh, and I still got your coat! I'll give it to you as soon as possible, it's washed, don't worry!”  
“Ray.”

“Your horse is also alright; I made sure of that!”

“Ray.”

“I went through the reports and I wrote some things out so maybe we can go through that tomorrow? You probably want to rest first an-”

“Ray!”Finally silencing the knight, Ryan chuckled a bit: “I missed you, too.” A heavy hand settled on his shoulder and this time the younger one couldn't help himself. Closing the distance, he hugged the other briefly while blushing wildly. “Please don't do that again.”, he mumbled before letting go, turning around and made sure to lead Lindsay further without daring to look back, his eyes glued to the floor.

 

The door opened once again and Gavin tensed up, missing a heartbeat before it caught right back up at it. Michael was throwing him a concerned look as Ryan walked in and the king wondered how his counselor felt. For what he knew he could hate him. After all he had killed him and left him afterward in hell. What other emotions could he possible hold for him?

His gaze dropped from Ryans face after he had made sure that it really was him, roaming over the body to look for any injuries. The axe had made such terrible ones, nearly splitting him in half.

After he made sure they were gone, he finally dared to raise his eyes, finding the others throat. The throat his fingers had dig into to choke the life out of the man.

He felt sick just thinking about it and as if to remind himself that yes, it had been real, yes, he had killed this man, his fingers found the scratches on his hand.

“My liege.”, Ryan said, bowing his head slightly.

The king opened his mouth, knowing he had to answer but there were no words left because maybe now it was his throat that was crushed. He didn't deserve to breath this air.

His nails dug and he savored in the pain, his tongue finally free: “I left you.”

“You stayed with me until the end.”

“I left you in the Nether. I promised I'd get you back.”

“And I told you that there are more important things waiting for you.” Ryan made a movement with his hand, gesticulating to the room around them: “You are the King, Gavin.”

“You said the crown was mine.”

“And you got it back. Just like you promised me.”

“I killed you.” The words left only silence. Michael had looked up shocked, obviously not informed about that part of the story but he didn't dare to say a word.

“I've allowed you to do it, didn't I?”, Ryan questioned but it only made the king snort. “Yeah, because you were in any condition to make a right judgment.”  
“Gavin, I hold no grud-”

“Your old room is cleaned. I'm sure you are tired after your journey.”, the king interrupted him, looking at the ground in front of him, missing the hurt expression on the others face.

“I see.”, Ryan said slowly. It took him a moment before he could actually bring himself to turn towards the door.

“Don't you dare!”, Michael growled and the counselor stopped in his tracks.

“You heard the King.”

“Yeah but the King is a fucking Fool and we all know it. You think I'd just let you walk out so that you two will dance around each other awkwardly for the next days? I'm not having this bullshit. And you-” He took hold of Gavins hands, yanking them apart and revealing the fine lines of blood while doing so: “You will stop that right away! Think that will make anything better? Stupid Fool!”

“Stop calling me that!”, the King snapped at him. “You don't understand, let me g-”

“ _I_ don't understand? Are you fucking with me now?” His fingers found the others scarf, pulling violent: “I don't understand? Really, Gavin? You wanna think about that some more before repeating that?”

Struggling, Gavin tried to get free from the grip but was overpowered easily: “Michael, let me go!”

“You killed him to safe him from the Nether, didn't you?”

“So what! I killed him with my own hands! Ray had to rip me away to make me stop!”

“Did you want to kill him?”

“No! Of course not!”

“So doesn't that count for anything?”, Michael screamed at his face. “Doesn't this make a change?”

The king stopped in his movements, noticing that the others expression held no anger. It was a bottomless fear, laced with a guilt that was never going to pass. He knew he had the sanity of his friend in his hand and could snap him into pieces with a single word.

What a fool he was.

“Of course it does.”, he mumbled, knowing that this thought was what kept the warrior together. Hoping it could do the same for him. “It makes a huge difference.”

Michael nodded but his lips were a tight line, quivering slightly. Upon seeing this, Gavin felt his own tears welt up, hot and stinging in his eyes. “I'm sorry.”, he sobbed and suddenly Ryan was next to them, pulling them close.

The king closed his eyes at the warmth he had longed for and he threw his arms around him, making sure he wasn't going to disappear. For a moment his hands didn't dare to touch, remembering what damage they had caused the last time but then his fingers clawed back into the skin, searching for a hold. To his left, right on the other side he could hear Michael cry into the older mans shoulder, his sobs shaking the three of them with each breath.

A familiar hand found Gavins hair, pressing him closer and he clutched on as tight as possible: “I'm glad you are back.”

“I am also happy to be back.”, Ryan mumbled before he tried to shush the warrior down. Blindly, the king reached for Michael, finding his hand and interlocking their fingers.

God, they were all so broken.

 

 

_You can only get so far_

_with no one by your side_

_A dark storm lies ahead_

 

 

Big thanks to my Beta who designed Rays new brooch; isn't it freaking amazing?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a slow start but the story will pick up eventually.  
> The song is "Dark Storms" by Our Last Night, check it out!  
> Also to make things clear from the start: I will try to update once a week but I may not be able to. (Also I wanted to update next friday but my day was shitty and I just felt like it xD) I work full time and sometimes I don't have the time to write every day so please don't get mad? I will do my best!  
> (Tags will get updated as I go so keep an eye on that!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The king had been incredibly nervous before, stuttering through a conversation with the woman to assure her that he had no ill intent. It had eased quickly by the calming words of the guardian before she had asked him to explain some terms he used and processed he had mentioned. Maybe they had all failed to remember that she herself had no idea about political matters at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you guys are all so eager for the new story! I hope I won't disappoint!  
> So let's get the story going, won't we~

Chapter 2

 

_And we'll fly_

_And we'll fall_

_And we'll burn_

_No one will recall_

 

 

The portal had to be an illusion, crafted by the need for air and the itching in his throat and the desire in his lung that drove him insane. He would still go for it because not knowing was worse than letting his hopes get crushed. And the voice in his head was urging him forward, begging to leave this terrible place and sometimes he wasn't sure anymore if it was his own thoughts or if Edgar was whispering his warm insanities against his neck.

He fell through the purple vortex, landing on his arms and knees, barely able to keep himself up. So he stared at his shaking hands down onto nearly dead grass and felt the sudden coldness try to get down to his bones. But that didn't matter as he took a breath and it finally reach his lungs, filling them up and he got dizzy because he was drowning in the air like a mad man, gulping it down without stopping and he felt lightheaded, ready to faint any seconds.

In front of him appeared boots that were worn out and old and he wasn't exactly sure where they had come from but in the next moment they had become knees and again everything blurred and moved.

“Ryan?”

His name. Right? At least part of it if he remembered correctly.

Looking up, Gavin was kneeling above him, pale with bright red cheeks that were wet from crying and green eyes that were buried under sorrow.

“ _Let me kill you.”_

He blinked and Michael was above him, shocked as he reached out and laid a hand on the others shoulder. Ryan flinched away, remembering all too well the moment the warrior had drawn his sword and had walked towards him, a crushed determination underneath his freckles.

His back hit the portal behind him and in the corner of his eyes he made out the purple vortex and this was even worse. He rather got killed than go back on his own so he reached for the outstretched arm, grasping it as tightly as possible.

Michael talked but the words didn't seem to reach him as Ryan made out the woman behind him. Lindsay.

Lindsay guarded the portal, right?

The logical part of his brain he listened to for the most part of his life told him that he was safe, that he was out.

He didn't dare to believe it just yet, no matter how much he wanted to. Losing his strength, he slumped against the warrior, both of his hands holding tightly.

“Don't make me go back! I do everything but please... please don't force me to go back!”, he begged with broken breaths, clinging to the smaller body like it was the only thing that kept him here.

“I won't.”, Michael assured him, pulling him a bit closer. “You are out, you are safe. It's over now.”

 

Ray looked up from his list as he noticed that he was talking to himself. Gavin and he had spent most of the day trying to catch the others up as to what had happened and now it was noon and they were nearly through with it. Not that he wasn't tired and hungry himself and felt his concentration slip but he hadn't expected it from Ryan of all people. But the counselor sat next to him, dark rings under his eyes that showed how bad the night had been.

Thinking back of the days after he himself had stumbled out of the Nether, Ray couldn't really blame him for that. He had at least Gavin by his side when he had woken up from another nightmare and wasn't alone in his room, trying to remind himself that he had escaped that place.

When the counselor had walked in this morning, Ray had already thought of offering him to stay with him at night. That was out of his place to ask though.

But now his tired eyes weren't even focused on the list or him, his gaze fell on the throne were Gavin sat with Lindsay next to him.

The king had been incredibly nervous before, stuttering through a conversation with the woman to assure her that he had no ill intent. It had eased quickly by the calming words of the guardian before she had asked him to explain some terms he used and processed he had mentioned. Maybe they had all failed to remember that she herself had no idea about political matters at hand.

But Ryan wasn't observing both of them talking freely about the festival she had missed, it were the bruised hands of the king. They still had traces of the balsam left that Lindsay had brought and every few hours Gavin would carefully add a new layer by himself.

That was a good sign but Ray could understand the worrisome expression on the face of the counselor. It still left a sour taste in his own mouth.

Slowly, to not scare him the knight rested his hand on the others arm: “Ryan?”

Nonetheless he still flinched, before he turned his head: “Sorry. That was rude of me.”

“It's fine. You think we should take a break?”

“I don't think there is a need for that, I am just a bit tired.”

“You sure? I am kind of hungry and could take a bite.”

That seemed to sway him and with a sigh he nodded: “Alright.”

 

Ray had expected for them to get used to Lindsay to take some weeks but after a few days she already fitted in like she belonged in the throne room. She was usually quiet, eagerly learning and Gavin had a lot of fun teaching her everything she needed to know. They sat down with Ryan, who explained the whole structure of the kingdom before he worked through the new reports with her, showing her how to divert the important ones from the rest and how to act on it.

It was during that when the counselor opened a new one and frowned at the written words. She leaned towards him to read over his shoulder and the hand with the bright red nails covered her mouth.

“Gavin. Please have a look at this.” Ryans voice was so urgent that the king got up immediately, leaving his food behind: “What is it?”

“Six people were found dead this morning.”, he said slowly, before handing him the letter.

The green eyes flew over the page: “In their houses, even though they were locked in all but one case? How?”

“Were they stabbed?”, Ray asked and when the king nodded, he stood behind him to read as well. Sure enough; exactly the same. “We had reports of that before, didn't we?”, he mumbled as the paper was handed to Lindsay to read. “Do we have a serial killer?”

“But the victims lived all around the city. He had to move incredibly fast to reach them all.”, Ryan remarked thoughtfully. “Also to leave the place with a closed door is certainly possible but it takes more time and he was probably full of blood. The guards would have noticed the culprit.”

“We have more of them on the streets since we heard of the crimes.”

“So more than one killer? Maybe a group?”

“We have to check on the victims if they had something in common. Maybe we find a pattern.”, Ryan added slowly. “The culprit has to have a lot of strength, seeing that he impaled their hearts with one stab. Or he is incredibly skilled and was able to avoid the ribcage but that would be a hard thing to do. A sharp blade is necessary for both.”

“Can I see the bodies?”, Lindsay interrupted him and surprised the other turned towards her. “What? That way we get more information, right?”, she shrugged at their surprised expressions. “If they struggled or not. How deep their wounds are and such. Is there a way that I can see them?”

“Um, yeah I guess. They should be in the morgue by now.”, Gavin said hesitatingly.

“Can I go there? I promise I won't take long, my liege.”

“Of course. If you are sure you want that?”

“I am.”

The king nodded: “Alright.”

“Can I take Michael with me? I don't know the way.”

He knew this was a serious situation and he really shouldn't but Gavin couldn't help but quirk the corner of his mouth in a happy smile: “Gladly!”

With a small bow, she walked out of the room and the king couldn't help but turn around to his knight, finding his own smirk mirrored in his face.

“Don't get your hopes up too high.”, Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes at their giddiness. “I traveled with both of them and I won't say that Michael is oblivious but he certainly is too shy to make a move.”

“Michael Jones is not shy!”

“If you say so.” Turning back to the other reports, he shrugged: “Get back to work.”

 

“Michael!” To say he turned towards her, calm and collected was an understatement because there was no holding him when he recognized the voice.

“Linds? What are you doi-”, he stopped himself, blinking surprised. “What are you wearing?”

Confused, she looked down her body before catching his eyes: “A... garment? It's normal clothing for a women, isn't it?”

“I guess...”, he admitted. The garment was of a dark purple with wide sleeves that fell like cascades from her arms and a wide skirt covering her legs. It was tightly corded around her middle and the seams were decorated in the silver one could find everywhere in the kingdom. So Gavin had probably given the order to make it for her.

She was right; it was a normal thing to wear at the court but he hadn't exactly expected it. “Kinda never saw you without your armor.”

“Yeah, it's been forever since I wore something like this. It's so light!” She lifted her arms as to prove her point before she caught him still staring. “Does it look weird?”, she asked with an unsure smile.

“A bit.” But seeing the pout she was giving him, he quickly lifted his hands in defense: “But a good weird!”

“A good weird?”

Nodding, he felt the need to slap himself across the head.

“Anyway.”, she continued and he was glad that she did. “Can you take me to the morgue? King Gavin allowed me to go.”

“What do you want at the morgue?”

“I'll tell you on the way. Are you free right now?”

He was not. “Sure.”

They walked slowly through the city and Michael kept pretending it was to show some of the streets to Lindsay who eagerly looked around and not because of his terrible sense of direction, which made him ponder each decision.

So he let out a sigh of relieve when they finally made it and he eyed the building carefully, thankfully never having any reason to enter it before. The woman was way faster than him, only taking a quick look before going up the few stairs and through the door. Following her, he walked in when she explained the situation to an old man behind a counter. He didn't seem all to convinced until Michael stood behind her, showing up King Gavins emblem. Maybe it was also Mogar on his back and the threatening look he threw the man.

They were guided into the basement were the six new bodies laid, only covered by a white sheet. Lindsay got to work immediately, carefully revealing the first victim.

Michael watched her quietly, grunting disgusted when she prodded the wounds before moving to the next target.

“What are you even looking for?”, he asked after a while, not really content with this place. He wasn't like Gavin afraid of dead people but simply seeing them lying there, not reacting to any touch made him shiver. Ray had been brought here as well before he had been burned, right?

Imagining his friend to lie like that made him sick.

“Any clues.”, she said, ripping him out of his dark thoughts. “Better hope I don't find what I am looking for.”

“Why?”

“I think I know what's going on.”, she admitted with a sudden certainty, her mouth a tight line when she caught his eyes. “Maybe I am wrong.”

“Do you want to be wrong?”

“Yes.”

Again a shiver ran down his spine: “What is going on, Linds?”

She waved him close, pointing at the stabbed chest of the woman in front of her: “See how clean the cut is? Too slender to be a sword, right?”

“Maybe a rapier?”

Nodding, she pried the wound open with her hands: “I thought so, too. You know more about weapons than me; can a rapier cut through bones?”

“With enough force.”

“Would it _cut_ them?”

“I'd rather say it would shatter the bones.” Leaning forward, he eyed the wound with a sour taste in his mouth. Not only because it still disgusted him to look into someone but also because the rips was severed without any fracture. “Are they all like that?”

“Yeah. You know a weapon that's sharp enough to do that?”

Slowly, he shook his head, rather looking at her than the dead woman: “But you do.”  
“Endermen.”, she announced. “Only the claw of an enderman is sharp enough to do that.”

“Endermen? Are you sure?”, he asked disbelieving. “Those are rare, I haven't even seen one in my entire life! I only know the sketches. We probably have like one incident a year and never in such a big city like this. They mostly kill people out there in the woods who have gotten too close for their own good.”

“Got another explanation?”

“Well... no.”

“Let's head back, I need to talk to the King about this.”

 

“Endermen?”, Gavin asked with a voice as skeptical as Michaels. “Lindsay, they are one of the things this kingdom never had to worry about. We are lucky, I know that and I highly doubt that this will change now.”  
“I saw the wounds, my liege! The bones were cut so clean that I can't think of a weapon that could do that!”, she insisted, turning towards the warrior for support. He shrugged: “It's true. They weren't fractured or anything.”

The king pondered about this for a moment but it was Ryan who spoke up first: “It could be an enchanted sword. I heard of the ones with blades sharper than anything else in the world. That could also be a possibility.”

Lindsay threw him a poisoned look: “I know an enderman-attack when I see one!”

“I don't doubt that. I just want to think about every possibility there is, no need to be offended.”

Not even bothering to reply, she turned her attention back to Gavin: “Your Highness, I beg you to believe me! I have fought endermen before and their claws are incredibly dangerous and can stab through a body with ease! This is a big threat to your people!”

Her stance was determined and her eyes hard as steel and Gavin was sure he wasn't going to change her mind without any proof and without daring a disrupt in their relationship.

“I'll once again double the guards for tonight an-” “That won't be enough!” “Let me finish!”, he interrupted her a bit sharper than he had intended to. He quickly lowered his voice again: “If one of them sees an endermen or something that resembles one I will take action. But I need to make sure first! Please understand; if I tell the people that we are getting attacked by one or more endermen in the night, there will be a panic! And I just can't go back on that.”

She frowned but her temper seemed to calm down slowly. “Fine. I want to be with them, though.”

“You are not a knight and that's not the position you are assigned for.”

“I am a warrior!”, Lindsay stretched that word, like that would help the king finally get the meaning of it. Gavin blinked at that, losing his voice. A sense of déjà vu lingering on his mind. Hadn't he been in a similar situation before?

“I am strong enough to fight on my own; I did it for years!”, she continued, the hand on her chest. “I fought against endermen and I have won! Otherwise I wouldn't have the position I am in!”

It had been with Michael, right? Before Ryan had planned to sent him out for war. Didn't he scream the very same words at him back then? And when he had tried to stop him it had caused so many terrible things.

Licking his lips, he finally nodded: “If you insist, you may go.”

“I do!”, came the answer immediately.

“I go with her.”, Michael announced but she turned to him, throwing him a disgusted look. “I don't need someone to hold my hand! I'm old enough to fight on my own, so don't hover over me all the time! I can beat you anytime; don't think just because you are a man that you have a single advantage over me!”

The warrior starred at her as if she had just kicked him in the guts, his mouth slightly open and his face flushed: “Linds... I didn't mean it in that way! God, I'd neve-”

She brushed past him, leaving the throne room. For a moment he stared at the door, his shoulders down before he straightened up and walked after her.

“Don't you move.”, Ryan called after him, making him stop. “If you follow her now you'll get in even more trouble.”

“What do you know?”, Michael hissed at him but not daring to take another step.

“It's easy to see that I know more than you. Sit down and leave her alone.”

It seemed like the warrior was ready to talk back but then he huffed and slumped down on a chair, crossing his arms.

“Ryan?” The counselor looked up towards the king. “Are endermen really that dangerous?”

“They are. Not only their claws but they can teleport which makes a fight against them that much harder. If you are skilled enough to even land a hit their skin is thick, that's why they make armor out of it.”, he explained. “Bringing an enderman down is hard work and very risky. Even if you manage to get out of an encounter with them, they hunt their targets down until they kill them.”

Worry was clear in Gavins face as he bit on his lower lip, sinking back into his throne: “I hope she is wrong.”

 

She wasn't.

Coming into the throne room the next day, tired but satisfied she stood in front of the king. She was wearing her new garment, her usual armor in her hands.

“The knights already informed me.”, Gavin sighed. “Two people have seen an enderman last night, one also reported he witnessed it before but didn't dare to speak because it was so unlikely.”

“I didn't see them myself but I heard the same.”, she replied. “They simply charged at them like mad men, they have no clue how to fight one.”

“Can you teach them?”

“I think so.”

“I want to know, too.”, Ray added. “If they can teleport there is a possibility they will just show up in here, right?”

“They usually avoid well-lit places.”, Ryan explained. “But on the other hand they also avoid cities so it is a possibility.”

“I'll show you.”, Lindsay said, eager to finally teach something instead of learning. Waving Ray towards her, a bit surprised when Gavin joined before she handed them her armor: “Do you guys feel how thin it is?”

“Still heavy.”

“Exactly. You could stab it with your rapier right here and now and you wouldn't be able to break through the skin.”  
“You sure?”, the king asked doubtful, letting the flexible armor run through his fingers.

“Absolutely. The only way to break an endermans skin is to stab the same spot multiple times with full force. After that its insides are no problem anymore and it will bleed out; they can't heal that's the good news.”

“Ryan said they were fast.”, Ray slowly said, looking into her eyes. “How fast?”

She pondered that for a moment: “The fastest beast I ever saw but I think you and I are faster. Not sure about the others.”

Gavin threw a look over his shoulder, frowning at the absentmindedly expression on Ryans face on that comment. It took him a moment to realize that his counselor wasn't indifferent; he was thinking about the situation, probably already planning.

Turning back around, he asked: “I am fast, relatively.”

“You are agile but you lack the experience.”, Ray stopped him right there. “Stay back on this one.”

“Fine but what about far-ranged weapons? A bow should be a great help, wouldn't it? And my fire, too.”

“Probably.”, Lindsay admitted. “But I am no expert on that. That's pretty much all I know.”

“It should be more than enough. Please tell the knights, I will sent out as many as you think are necessary to hunt down the enderman tonight.”

“As you wish, my liege.”

 

They slayed the enderman around midnight with only a few casualties. Some cuts from the claws that weren't all too deep, considering that they had cornered the creature with ten knights.

Gavin was pleased with this, as well as his people for the quick and effective way he had handled the situation. Lindsay had suggested to make another armor out of the skin and he had agreed, already debating who he should give it to.

Two days later a new report was handed to him by Ryan and simply from the look of his counselors face, he felt the fear rising.

Four different witnesses had seen endermen in the streets. Nine bodies had been found in their houses, two outside all over the city, all stabbed.

“What is going on?”, he whispered as he read the words, not daring to believe them. “I don't understand! One enderman is rare enough but two? Maybe even more? That doesn't make any sense!”

Ryan remained quiet at the topic, just like he had before. By now Gavin had thought he was thinking, planning a strategy but he wasn't so sure anymore. His eyes were dark and tired and struck him with worry but right now he grew mad. So maybe his counselor was sleeping bad; they all did! Right now he needed an advice more than anything and not the silence he was greeted with every time they came back to this topic!

“Ryan!”, he whispered sharp. The blue eyes found him before tracing back down: “Sorry. I don't know.”

Even Lindsay fell silent at that statement, sensing that something about the situation was off, even if it was just by Gavins dismayed face. Those eyes had been sad, pleading to understand what he just couldn't.

“You said endermen hunt their targets down.”, Ray interrupted the moment and Ryan turned to him, a thankful look on his face. “Maybe they have a target they are going after and just can't find it?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“And they kill the other people because they got too close?”, Lindsay asked, not sounding too sure of that.

The knight shrugged: “That's all I have.”

“Inform the knights. I want that thing dead by sunrise.”, the king announced bitter.

 

The enderman was slain that night. A new one was seen two days later, the next day people stumbled over even more bodies.

On the fourth day Gavins world fell apart.

Seeing Lindsay nervous was the first clue and he felt a sickness settle in his stomach that he simply knew wasn't going to pass easily.

“I got a message from Geoff, your Highness.”

He closed his eyes, waiting for the judgment.

“He and Jack will be here in two days because of the... of the new development in the kingdom.” She left after that and he felt alone even though Ryan and Ray were next to him, but none of them dared to speak a word. He simply listened to the breaking of the little bit of peace he had built up.

It took him a while to compensate himself, trying to flex his fingers after gripping so tightly at the armrests. He tried to say something, having to clear his throat before it came out right: “Ray? I want to play a game of chess with Ryan, if you don't mind.”

“It's not time for games, Gavin.”, came the answer from his counselor and that hurt even more. He actually had to press his lips together to not make a noise.

At least the knight listened, placing a comforting hand on the kings shoulder before leaving the throne room.

With some hesitation they set up the chessboard and started to play. It felt somehow heavy and full of unsettling thoughts. And it was the first game that was absolutely quiet until Ryan placed his bishop: “Checkmate.”

Without wasting a beat, the king put his pieces back into place, starting all over again in the unusual silence. It was in the middle of losing once more, when he finally raised his voice: “A mirror works in both ways.”

Not reacting, Ryan continued his aggressive moves, forcing him to make mistakes. God, he felt so lost right now.

In the end he simply stopped playing, staring at his counselor who could not met his eyes. The tension was heavy in the air and hadn't been this strong since their unfortunate first meeting. He wanted it to stop! He had yearned for Ryan back but not like this!

Finally the other sighed: “Your feelings still affect your game.”

“Believe me, I've gotten better at this.” Nodding towards the belligerent moves of him, he asked: “Is it the same with you? Are you mad?”

“Not at you. Don't think it is about the thing that happened.”

“Lindsay?”

He shook his head, the eyes still glued at the board as if he expected Gavin to make a move but the king just stared at him helplessly.

“Ryan, please! I'm stupid; I don't understand! What's wrong?”

“Nothing! I'm just... just a bit tired, alright?”, he rubbed his face as if to prove his point.

“Is that all?”

“No.”, he admitted honestly but didn't go further. Gavin stared at him, before whimpering quietly: “Rya-”

“Look, Gav. I'll figure it out. Trust me?” The king nodded slowly and Ryan continued: “Let's rather face the more important matter here.”

“Geoff and Jack?”

“Yeah, what do you want to do?”

Slumping against the throne, Gavin thought for a moment before his face darkened. What he wanted to do? What could he possibly do? They had made a deal and he had already screwed it up! What a surprise!

Pressing his fists against his closed eyes, he sighed, watching the little stars appear behind his lids. The sickness still present in his stomach, rumored threatening. There was a headache coming, he could already feel it; his overworked mind daring him to go to sleep, waiting with black thoughts and mocking words.

“I wish all of it would just stop.”, he admitted. “I thought it finally did but it caught right back up again.”

“Nobody said it was easy being a King.”

“I never expected it to be easy. I just...”, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, he cursed his own voice for shaking. “I just wish there was some time for... for something. To rest, to be certain of something. Like when I was King before Geoff came to claim the throne again. I knew I'd wake up and work with the people I can trust and with whom I can joke and nothing bad was going to happen! It was like a good sleep but it got just thrown into my face once again.”

His hands fell down as he shrugged, trying so hard to be angry: “Look at me Ryan! Look at what a damn Fool I am! A little over a month, wasn't it? A little over a month as a King until it is necessary to step in because everything is falling apart under my damn hands! I am such a damn failure!” He spat that last sentence, feeling disgusted with himself. Only imagining to stand in front of Geoff again and hear what he had done wrong, even though he knew so well scared him.

“Can I sit on the throne?”

Confused, the king looked up at Ryan who stood right in front of him. Did he offer him the same as he had done with Michael? To be a shadow-king? For a moment it actually sounded tempting and he didn't fight when the other took hold of his arms and pulled him onto his feet.

But that was wrong, that wouldn't solve any problems! It was only going to make Geoff and Jack even angrier at him. Hadn't he already disappoint them enough?

And still he lacked the strength to stop his counselor to sit down and he stared at him, feeling lost. If he wasn't the king, he was a waste.

But then Ryan tugged him down and he slid into the others lap as if he had expected that to happen all along. Resting his hands against the others chest, he let himself get pulled closer.

Feeling Ryans breath ruffling his hair was uncomfortable, just because it reminded him of the last time that had happened. Shortly before he had killed the man.

A pained noise escaped his mouth and he buried his face in the others shoulder. A hand found his hair and calmed him down. It was still strange though. Not that the embrace wasn't comforting him but it was the breath of the counselor that was shaking, his fingers trembling the tiniest bit. It felt rather like he was comforting Ryan and not the other way around.

Not that it mattered.

Freeing his arms, he wrapped them around the familiar body of the man, holding close. For a moment he wanted to ask once again what was wrong but he bit his own tongue.

Ryan had asked him to trust him. So he would.

 

 

_And we'll love_

_And we'll hate_

_And we'll die_

_All to no avail_

 

 

 

 

Everyone look at the amazing art Rachel has done for Ray! More detailed shots can be found [here](http://catboysam.tumblr.com/post/96399693265/alright-i-think-hes-done-the-only-thing-i)

And she may even do all charas; holy shit you are amazing, my Dear!

Also this one here by [Alex: ](http://haywoodyoucuddleme.tumblr.com/post/154467556702/he-fell-through-the-purple-vortex-landing-on-his)

 

All of you are great; really!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is 'Stockholm Syndrom' by Muse - great song! So, everyone excited for next week?~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gavin.”, he walked back in, placing his hand on the kings arm. “They are here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And like every week the show goes on!  
> A shorter chapter but still important - the next one will pick up the pace and be longer!

Chapter 3

 

_Touch my mouth and hold my tongue_

_I'll never be your chosen one_

_I'll be home safe and tucked away_

_Well you can't tempt me if I don't see the day_

 

 

The sun was already setting when the distant sound of the crowd swell, reaching up to the balcony and the hall beyond. Michael stood up, nearly grateful that something broke the terrible and unusual silence that had engulfed them.

Stepping to the edge, he looked down and gave his eyes a moment to get used to the twilight. But just like he had imagined; the time had finally come.

“Gavin.”, he walked back in, placing his hand on the kings arm. “They are here.”

“Thank you.”, came the short answer before he closed his eyes, inhaling shakily and keeping the air as long as possible in his lungs. Listening to Ray giving commands to the guards outside the room to let nobody in anymore before Lindsay and Michael took their place next to the door.

Letting out his breath, his heart tried to catch up to the lost beats in an instant, pulsating violently against his ribcage and sending a wave of nausea to his stomach. His lids fluttered open right when the knight came back to him, offering him his hand. He took it gladly, getting pulled to his weak legs. Their fingers interlocked without another word to give some peace of mind when they stepped onto the balcony, Ryan right behind.

Barely anyone noticed them, the people crowded on the street looked around for the first sight of the well known visitors and not for the king. Not that they could hear it over the distance but the rumors were as clear as they had been predictable. With Geoff and Jack back, there would finally be order in the castle. It was only a matter of time until the last endermen was going to fall under the talented guidance of the blacksmith and after that it seemed inevitable until Geoff was back on the throne.

Gavin wondered if they were right.

The hand holding his squeezed a bit and when he shot Ray a look, he could see that the knight was as pale as he himself felt. It was an open secret between both of them that Ray was also terrified.

The possibility that Gavin might lose his throne and all the fighting and sacrifices would have been for nothing was bad enough but the knight feared himself so much more. He had admitted that in the middle of the night when Gavin had allowed his head to be filled with the heartbeat of his friend and nothing more and it had been the first time he had actually said those words. They had been calm and collected, probably because he had thought them so often in his own mind that they had become some sort of mantra, an inevitable truth that had no use of hiding.

So Ray had opened his eyes and simply said, that when Geoff would try to get back on the throne and maybe even threaten Gavin, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. That maybe something in him was going to snap and that would only lead to them getting hunted again. Probably they were just going to be executed on the spot.

“I want you to see them as guests.”, Gavin had replied. “Treat them with the respect they deserve but if they don't do the same with you put them in their place – but with words. We are survivors, not demons. You think you can do that?”

“I can do it but I can only speak for myself.”, the knight had said, the exhausting despair only fueled by the sleepless hours.

“Maybe you can pass it on?” Sitting up, the king had searched for the others eyes in the darkness: “I don't want you to hurt Geoff or Jack even if they are a threat to me.” Thinking for a second, he added: “Not until I give an order at least.”

“Alright.”

Now, as they stood upon the crowd and watched it part at their guests walked towards the castle, Gavin only hoped that had been enough. He was too tired to continue to worry about every little thing that could go wrong or every unknown word that might be spoken. Or might be left unspoken.

Turning his head to look at Ryan now, his counselor stared ahead with an unreadable expression. He should do the same so he did.

It was only when he made out the reflection of Jacks battleaxe that his fingers squeezed back, a pained noise escaping his throat as he saw his father looking right up at him.

Licking his lips, he moved when Ray pulled him back into the hall, escaping the cold wind.

“Michael, Lindsay. You two will greet our guests at the gates and lead them into the throne room.”, the knight said the well studied words. Not that it was needed – they had gone through the process several times under Ryans tutelage but the routine gave him some sense of security.

Nodding, both of them left the hall and without a word the counselor guided them into the throne room themselves. Sharp whispered commands were giving to the guards outside, reminding them to take action if they heard any ruckus. They agreed.

Of course they did.

“Are both of you alright?” Ryans voice changed so quickly to concerned the moment they were alone, that it would have been amusing under other circumstances. Right now it was appropriate and neither of them even dared to nod.

“Don't forget your stand in this kingdom.”, the counselor reminded them, adjusting Rays brooch and cloak with quick hands. “You earned your positions and neither Geoff nor Jack have the right to tell you otherwise. Don't make them believe they have that power over you.” Patting both of their cheeks with one hand each, he added: “You are the Knight of Roses, chosen by the King and you are the King himself. Nothing more and certainly nothing less.”

“Thanks Rye.”, Gavin muttered quietly, his voice still shaking slightly as he forced his hand to let go of Rays.

“Clear your throat, drink some water if you need to, don't show them how nervous you are.”

A small laugh escaped the king: “”But I am.”

“They are, too.” Even Ray looked up surprised at that new thought but Ryan simply shrugged: “It's only logical, isn't it? They are moving into the realm of their enemies and they can't count on most of the guards and knights anymore, seeing that you told the traitorous ones to leave. Right now it's a higher risk for both of them than it is for us – they probably expect to run into a trap the moment they step through this door. We could execute them after all.”

Gavin opened his mouth but stayed silent as he progressed the information. He hadn't thought about it that way, hadn't even considered it. Jack and Geoff had always been so sure and confident, it seemed unrealistic to consider them scared of him and his men.

It actually calmed him down a bit knowing that he wasn't too helpless in the situation.

With a last pat on their shoulders, Ryan moved to his spot and slowly the other two followed.

Watching the entrance, Gavin actually felt a bit intimidating. He was sitting on his throne, the crown high on his head while Ray and Ryan stood on both his sides. He was safe and maybe Ryan was right and he really had the upper hand.

The feeling vanished immediately when the door actually opened and left him back as a scared little boy. Seeing Geoff and Jack walk into the throne room felt so familiar as it felt wrong and he realized he wasn't breathing but couldn't bring myself to change that.

It seemed like he wasn't the only one though, considering that besides careful steps and the closing door no other noises were heard. Only when both of their guests stopped and Michael and Lindsay flanked the entrance the silence was absolute.

Jack was the first to move again, getting on one knee while bowing his head. Geoff followed suit a moment later: “Long live the King.”

Gavin took a breath as he rose upon them, not forgetting to clear his throat like Ryan had told him: “I welcome you. Please stand.”

They did and he saw how Geoffs eyes lingered a second longer on his counselor than necessary, squinting as if he wasn't sure if he saw right. Good, that showed that they had crossed his plans once again.

“What brought you here?”, the king continued, even though it was obvious. But he much rather wanted to get it over with than wait for it during mindless and awkward small talk.

“We came here because of the recent development in this kingdom.”, Geoff said and the words sounded as recited as Gavins. “It came to our attention that things here have gotten out of ha-”

“We're here because of the endermen and we all know that.”, Jack interrupted the first king which only earned him a heated stare.

“I told you that I would do the talking!”

“And I told you that I don't put up with this bullshit.”, rolling his eyes, he nodded towards Gavin. “I've known him for most of his life. Same goes for Ray and Michael, I even trained them for years – I am not going to act like we are strangers. We all know the problem and we don't have the time to be all polite and talk around it.”

Geoff mumbled something under his breath but didn't interfere when Jack stepped up: “Listen Gavin. This is serious, we can all agree on that. That is by no means a normal behavior of endermen and as awkward as this whole situation is; we are here to help. Please be sure of that.”

The first true smile since days showed on the kings face and even if it was weak the fondness in his eyes showed how honest it was: “Thank you, Jack.”

“No need to. If you would be so kind to give me access to every information and detail you have on that matter..?”

“Of course.” He was so relieved at the lighter mood they had now, that he nearly asked Ryan to fill their guests in but he hesitated when he remembered what he would be demanding now. After all they had brutally murdered his counselor.

Neither could he ask Ray, knowing how nervous his knight was. If possible he didn't want to put any more strains on his friend.

Looking up, Ryans eyes met his and as if he could read his mind, he shook his head slightly. It wasn't a question to not involve him, rather a reminder to keep his guard up.

As familiar the conversation between Geoff and Jack were and how much off guard it caught him, he couldn't forget that both of them forged the plan that had led to all that chaos.

Licking his lips, he turned back around, ready to explain it himself when Ryan was faster: “Allow me, my King.”

Nodding, he sat back down and listened as Ryan explained the key points of what actions they had took and why. His voice was firm and calm, his hands moving in clear patterns and not for the first time Gavin envied him for that talent. One day he was going to ask for a lesson.

Tearing his eyes from his counselor, he rather watched their guests. Jack was listening intently, nodding here and there while Geoffs eyes were settled on him. The king fought against the urge to flinch, holding the gaze for a moment before turning his attention back to the discussion. He wasn't going to play that dumb game.

“I see.”, Jack mumbled after Ryan finished his explanation. Throwing a look over his shoulder towards the first king, they seemed to exchange before the blacksmith spoke again: “If your Highness would agree, we would like to rest and sort our minds. It was a long journey for us, so I hope you understand.”

Gavin raised his eyebrows but tried not to let his surprise be noticed in his voice: “Of course. We prepared some rooms for you um...” Was it rude to even mention it? “If you want someone can show you..?” As if they didn't know the castle more than anyone else here.

“I'll do it.”, Ray said as he stepped forward, stopping next to the king.

“Are you sure?”, Gavin asked, his eyes searching for some sort of hesitation.

“I am. Don't worry.”

“Alright.”

They watched them leave with a small bow and after he was sure they were gone, Gavin slumped against the cushions with a relieved sigh. That had gone better than expected. On the other hand that had gone nothing like he had expected.

Ryan crouched down to be on the same height as him as he whispered so that Lindsay couldn't overhear: “They are still incredibly dangerous.”

“I noticed.”

 

Ray led them silently through the hallways they were all too familiar with and tried not to think too much. That had never been planned; Michael and Lindsay were suppose to show them the rooms, he himself had requested not to do it. But Michael had welcomed them at the gates, no matter how uneasy it was making him, Gavin brought out the courage to talk with them through his fear and Ryan had found the strength to explain everything to the very same people who had killed him.

All while he had just stood there and listened, wishing to be somewhere else. He wanted to share his part of the weight.

The sudden confidence passed now that he was alone with them but he tried to concentrate on his new coat and the weight of the brooch around his neck to remind him for what he was doing it. And it wasn't that far from the throne room, close to Lindsays room with a look-out to the garden.

Wishing Geoff a good night as he closed his door behind him, he wanted to lead Jack to the next room when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Thankfully he stopped himself from jumping, knowing how ridiculous that would look.

“Didn't want to startle you.”, Jack said quietly. “But I wanted to make sure you wouldn't just walk away before I got the chance to talk to you.”

“Talk to me?”, the knight asked carefully. Was that a trap?

“Yes. I wanted to apologize.” Letting go of the knight, he stepped back to give both of them some space: “Back at the portal after we had captured you...” The blacksmith fell silent as if he was searching for the right words. That was strange, Ray never saw that happen.

“You told us that you were human and that what we were doing was wrong.”, he finally continued. “And you truly believed that, I saw it in your face. But most of all I recognized you, the same person I've known for years. The same boy I took under my wing after Geoff decided that you were going to be his next knight. On the other hand I couldn't recognize myself in that moment. Neither could I see Geoff. So... I want to apologize for realizing that too late. It should have been my task from the start.”

Ray looked up to him, wanting nothing more than to believe that man. Jack had always been a role model for him from the moment he had stepped inside this castle. Able to see the important things and ignore everything else, working hard for the good of his king and the kingdom itself. Gentle and wise; an amazing fighter without a doubt.

He had lost most of the attributes in his eyes.

Nodding, the blacksmith seemed to acknowledge that he wasn't going to get an answer and accepted it: “I just wanted to let you know that none of you have to be on your tiptoes while we are here. I saw the demon in you but I mostly see you and I don't want to harm you. Geoff isn't that far yet but I know he saw the same in Gavin. Be sure that this time I will have an eye on him.”

“Thank you for that, Jack.”, Ray finally managed to say. He really meant it, he also really hoped it were true words. But he also wouldn't believe it until there was any evidence for the change in the man in front of him. “There is also something I want to let you know.”

“Sure.”

His voice grew cold, leaving no distrust that this words came straight from his heart: “If you hurt a single one of us you will regret it. Dare betray us again and you will regret it. Use Michael against us once more and you will regret it. And if you thought about the possibility of using Lindsay, I am ahead of you. I'll keep an eye on her and I know that Michael is doing the same. Threaten or hurt Ryan one more time and you will pay, I'll make sure of that. And if you dare lay a finger on Gavin there will be no hesitation. I am his shield, I will protect him no matter the cost. Be sure I will hunt you down and I will hunt Geoff down. I will sent both of you into the Nether and I will make sure that you will stay there, no matter how long it will take me to be certain of that.” His finger caressed his new brooch to show who he belonged to: “Don't think you can pass these words onto my demon, because they are mine and it will be me who will come after you. Bring any danger to the people closest to me and I will not rest until I make my words come true. This is me, this is the same person who you've known and that little boy from back then is long dead. So don't try and blame this words on the demon.”

“I know.”, Jack replied slowly, his eyes observing the determined and dark look on the others face. “But the boy is not dead. I can still see him clearly – he has just grown up in the wrong environment. Which I guess is my fault.” Again he nodded slowly before continuing: “But that's fair. I accept your warning.”

“Good.”

“I wish you a good night, Ray.”

 

They had moved to a conference hall because it had more seats for all of them and large tables to spread the reports. Jack had read them eagerly before handing them to Geoff.

The king was glad for that because it forced his father to lower the gaze that had been glued to him since the moment they had met again and as much as he tried to ignore it, it still made him nervous. His words tumbled over each other while talking and his hand shook a bit so he let Ryan take over. He was better at that anyway.

And it was working, he and Jack were already discussing and even though it was barely there, Gavin still sensed some hesitation in his counselor. Something was still bugging him and he had yet to reveal what it was.

Maybe it was simply the tension in the room that seemed to linger over their heads.

Michael was next to him, taking Rays place because the knight was by Ryans side, helping him in the discussion. The warrior seemed also nervous by the eyes that lingered on them. Or maybe he was just stealing glances of Lindsay who was standing protectively behind the first king.

Gavin knew he should listen, he barely managed to follow Rays theory that the endermen were hunting someone they had set their eyes on but it was so hard to concentrate in this environment. It was hard to breath in here.

Michaels hand found his shoulder and laid there, warm and heavy. It eased the pressure a little and reaching up he gave him a little squeeze. He hadn't even noticed how fast he was breathing and he tried to calm down, focusing on the map on the desk.

Ryan was pointing to different locations while drawing little circles around them. Probably the places where they found the bodies. His eyes followed the feather, leaving the fine lines of ink on the paper. It calmed him down, even though Geoff was still staring at him.

As long as he didn't look up it was going to be alright. If he concentrated on Michaels hand and Ryans pretty letters he could ignore it.

That was until the mood shifted and he resurfaced from his apathy. Not really sure what was going on, he sat straight up and watched as Ryan hesitated before drawing another circle. The blue eyes looked at him, then shifted towards Ray who had become silent. Putting the reports down, the knight also grabbed a feather and with quiet words both continued the work.

And now even Gavin understood what was going on as he inspected the map in front of him.

It was Jack who broke the silence: “They are closing in on the castle.”

It was true.

The first locations had been scattered at the outer ring of the city with no certain pattern but the recent ones were all near the castle, almost drawing a complete circle around it.

“What does that mean?”, Michael asked. “That doesn't seem random at all. Are they looking for something? Can endermen... have a plan? Are they intelligent enough for that?”

Nobody answered because none of them were sure. But the question stood between them and now even Geoff leaned forward, studying the map with a hand on his chin.

Swallowing dry, Gavin said carefully: “Are we the cause? Do the endermen react to the Nether or the demons? Are we... luring them here?”

Ryan threw him a quick look before he turned back towards Geoff: “That can't be. You've been here since years, Gav.” The nickname felt like a strange challenge and for a moment it grew cold when the first king raised his head, holding the gaze of the counselor: “Maybe it's because there is now more than one demon here.”

“Then it took the endermen quite some time to show up, didn't it?”, Ryan replied sharp. The tension grew even more when both of them stared at each other over the table until Lindsay cleared her throat: “What if they are after me? I met endermen before, even killed one – maybe they are seeking revenge? Maybe the factor triggering them, is me coming into the city.”

“There weren't any endermen after you when you were guarding the portal!”, Michael blurted fast. “Why would they wait until you are in a safer place?”

“There are no mobs spawning next to the portal, Michael.”, she replied way calmer than he was.

“It's not you, Lindsay.”, Geoff said, patting her hand. “It already started before you came here, don't forget that.”

“What is it then?”

“I don't know.”, the first king admitted. “But I know who might.”

“Ingrar?”, Jack asked, nodding to himself without waiting for a reply. “I guess he does, yeah.”

“Who's that?”

“You got any maps of the whole continent here?”

“No.”, Ryan admitted slowly.

“Of course not.”, Geoff replied with a sharp smile which made the counselor clench his yaw. “Guess it works like that, too. Ingrar is the ruler of a kingdom northeast from us; Werringtal. It's not directly next to us but close enough to sent a messenger there. Would take some time but it's worth a shot.”

“What's so special about him? I don't think I ever heard of him.”, Ray asked.

“The kingdom isn't big or has a lot of influence. They mostly stay out of trouble and keep for themselves.”, Jack explained. “But what makes them special is that they also have a portal somewhere in their lands.”

“A second portal to the Nether?”

“No, this one is different. According to rumors this one leads to a different realm, called The End.”

“Well that sounds promising.”, Michael muttered under his breath and Gavin nearly snorted at that.

Geoff chuckled quietly before continuing: “It is said that the endermen come from this place, that's why Werringtal has a really high count on them. But as far as I know they never had a problem with endermen attacking a city. Anyway; King Ingrar is probably the one who has the most knowledge about those creatures. We visited the kingdom some years ago, don't you remember, Gavin?”

For the first time at that day their eyes actually met as they acknowledged each other. Geoff seemed surprised by himself, as if the words had just slipped from his mouth without him meaning to do it. A bit unsure, the king shook his head: “No, I don't think I do. Sorry.”

“It was a few months after he came here. No wonder he doesn't remember.”, Jack mentioned.

Michael broke the beginning silence: “But that's great! Let's ask that guy immediately! I'm sure he knows something!”

“I'm sure he does. But Ingrar is really cautious and distrustful – he won't just spill his knowledge like that.”, the blacksmith explained. “We either pay him or we find another way to get the information.”

“I don't think he will fall for coins and diamonds, Jack.”

“Guess you are right. He's pretty uptight on that part.” They threw each other a long look before Geoff slowly nodded, turning towards Gavin: “But maybe if the new King asks for an audience to revoke the old ties with the beautiful kingdom of Werringtal he knows from his childhood... then yeah, he might allow us to visit his castle.”

Taken aback, Gavin hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip: “You think that will work?”

“Our kingdom is bigger and has more military forces; it would be foolish of him to refuse.”

“All of that for a single lead?”

“The only one we have.”

Turning around, the king threw a questioning look to Ryan but his counselor didn't even notice. He was still staring at the map, a dark look on his face.

Frowning, Gavin turned his attention back to his father: “I'll have to think about that.”

“Of course.”

 

In the end he had to ask his counselor directly after every other try to get his opinion out of him failed. It was a simple, reluctant answer he got: “Ingrar won't refuse your offer. It would be a threat to his kingdom so if you decide to go to Werringtal that shouldn't be the problem.”

Gavin stared up to him from where he stood, nearly backing him into a corner to avoid any distraction. It took him a while to find the strength to word his concern: “Ryan...”

“It's alright, Gavin. Just a bit more time.”

So he sent a messenger to Werringtal and started to wait.

 

 

_So crawl on my belly 'til the sun goes down_

_I'll never wear your broken crown_

_I can take the road and I can fuck it all away_

_But in this twilight our choices seal our fate_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Broken Crown" by Mumford and Sons, which is a song that highly inspired this story, so check it out if you have the time!  
> And also take a look at part three of this story for short scenes written by my Beta - they are really amazing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not thinking about his weapon or thinking at all in that matter, he reached out again, ready to punch until he couldn't feel his hand anymore. He deserved it! He deserved it and so much more for breaking the world of the others down, he deserved it for leaving his only son behind and he deserved it for even taking her name into his filthy mouth!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pick up some speed and explore some twisted relationships, won't we?  
> A relationship I couldn't really develop earlier but damn, it's interesting! Team Daddy!  
> (The song is 'Bones' by MsMr)

Chapter 4

 

_Dig up her bones but leave the soul alone_   
_Lost in the pages of self made cages_   
_Life slips away and the ghosts come to play_

 

 

“What are you doing here?”

Ryan looked up to the warrior who was shielding him from the sun, stretching his limps: “Gavin said I should take a free day.”

“How generous of him. Doesn't explain why you are sitting here all by yourself. Do something fun!”

“I don't really know what to do.”

“Well a good start would have been to sleep long.”

“I did.”

“Ryan, I did wake up like thirty minutes ago and I don't even consider that as long.”

“To be fair you did guard the kings quarters tonight, so you probably got to bed in the morning.”

“Guess that's true.”, he admitted, shrugging. “I wanted to train for a bit, want to join?”

“If it doesn't bother you.”

“Well it's certainly better than to sit here in the cold.”, he said, pleased with the company. They walked through the chilly air that loved to remind them that it was autumn, leading towards winter. The morning was reigned by thick mist and even now in the early afternoon there were still traces of it.

“How did Gavin get the idea of giving free days?”, Michael asked curiously.

“He said I seemed stressed.”

“Are you?”

Shaking the head, the counselor sighed, his breath clearly visible: “But I have to admit; it's a heavy atmosphere in the throne room.”  
“I can imagine.”, the warrior sympathized. “The meeting last week was terrible enough. I'm glad I don't have to sit through that all the time, it really gives you a headache.”

An approving mumble was the answer.

“So I guess Geoff and Jack are not with the king today?”

“No, apparently they wanted to look around the city for traces.”, Ryan said bitterly. “I bet they just want to show themselves to the people.”

“Yeah.” Seeing the dark expression on the counselors face, he decided to change the topic: “Did you ever fight an enderman before?”

“Can't say I did. I saw one in the distance once but never close enough to be a threat.”

“I bet I can break through their skin with one hit!”

“With Mogar? Probably.”

“You really think so?”, Michael asked, the excitement coloring his cheeks red. “Lindsay said she needed three strikes but her weapon isn't as heavy as mine so I figured I would do more damage! That's so sweet!”

“But you always have to consider how fast they are. You might not be able to strike with all your strength.”

“I know, I know.”, he agreed without letting that change his mood. “But maybe I can do it! The look on the others faces would be priceless!”

Ryan couldn't help but smirk because it was so obvious about which face exactly he was thinking.

“I wonder how endermen will react to your enchantment.”, Michael said slowly. “Like, will you really knock them back? They could just teleport away, right?”

That made Ryan think because honestly he had wasted not one thought about that. With what he hoped it wouldn't be necessary. “I'm not even sure if enchantments work on enderman.”, he admitted.

“We will find out, I guess.”, the warrior hummed as they reached the training grounds. “I want to try the enchantment if that's alright with you? Last time it really hit me from my feet.”

“The last time?”, Ryan asked confused and a bit taken aback that Michael just mentioned the time he attacked him in the throne room so casually.

The younger seemed to realize his mistake, being fast to clear it up: “Ah, I meant when Gavin was carrying the sword.”

“You and Gavin fought?”

Michael smiled a bit at the disbelieving look he was receiving: “It was... a bit chaotic back then. So can I?”

“Sure.”

They trained for a while, the warrior trying his best to resist the knock-back and it was obvious he was a fast learner. So Ryan was actually waiting for the next step and he wasn't disappointed: “Can we change weapons?”

They had done that before and it had turned into a catastrophe. But Michaels look was honest and he held Mogar out for him to take, so he did. The difference in weight of both swords was still a surprise and led to some discussions about the handling. The force and the speed of their attacks and counters changed drastically and it was an amusing sight to see as they tried to cope with it.

So when they decided to head back in, it was with high spirits and warm faces.

It faltered a bit when they crossed paths with the first king and his companions. Ryan could feel Michael hesitate to run to Lindsay and start a conversation, he was throwing him little looks as if he was asking for permission.

It was Jack who greeted them with a polite smile, the guardian joining in cheerfully as they were forced to take the same path to reach the dining hall. Geoff didn't say a word, so Ryan replied only to the other two, watching as Lindsay and Michael fell into an easy talk.

The old King cleared his throat: “I do believe people that stand beneath you are the ones who address you first.” Jack groaned and rolled his eyes at Geoffs words and for a moment the counselor was confused about the clear ill-will. He welcomed it with a smirk: “It is indeed well mannered but I do believe you had no intent to be rude to me, do you? So I forgive you.”

The first king stood still, raising his eyebrows: “Excuse me?”

“Well as far as I am informed I am the Counselor of King Gavin while you... not to dispose you in anyway, but you on the other hand are a mere guest.” Raising his hand in defense, he added: “The Kings word, not mine.”

“I am your loved Kings father, Vagabond!”, Geoff growled at him.

“Yeah, not really buying that, you know? I'm pretty sure betraying and trying to kill your son lets you lose that title.”

There was a cold silence as it became clear that some line had just been crossed. Both men staring at each other condescending, not moving another step, measuring how far they were willing to go.

“Look, I would appreciate it if you could stop being so pretentious.”, Geoff hissed low. “I don’t say I am the best role model there is, but at least I left my son when he was old enough.”

Ryan took a deep breath, feeling the blood rush through his veins: “What are you implying?”

“You think I don't inform myself, Vagabond? Or should I call you James?”, the words dropped like poison from his lips. “Leaving Laurie behind with two kids to look after? And you want to judge my parenting skills?”

“Geoff.”, Jack warned him, seeing the anger in the others eyes flash. He didn't listen: “But don't fear, Vagabond. There is no need for you to worry about them anymore.”

Ryan rarely lost control but the hatred and fear he felt spiking inside him right now was enough to lose it for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to hurt the man in front of him and even while he remembered Gavins request to treat Geoff like a guest, his hand already reached for the others throat. The first king blocked it but his free fist crashed into the still smiling face, sending the man to the ground.

At least now he should have stopped but he was already on top of him before the thought had crossed his mind. Not thinking about his weapon or thinking at all in that matter, he reached out again, ready to punch until he couldn't feel his hand anymore. He deserved it! He deserved it and so much more for breaking the world of the others down, he deserved it for _leaving his only son behind_ and he deserved it for even taking _her_ name into his filthy mouth!

Someone took a tight hold on his arm. He grunted as he tried to break free, wanting to inflict so much more damage when Jack interrupted him: “I won't say he didn't earn this but I would welcome it if you'd stop beating him.”

The voice was soothing and reasonable, obviously chosen to calm him down and still his arm bugged. “Stop this!”, Michael growled next to his ear, his grip firm enough to hold him back. “This is stupid and you know it! You are smart, aren't you? Act like it!”

He knew Michael was right. It still didn't halt him from raising his free arm. Only when the scythe was pointed at him, he dared to let his eyes leave Geoff to find the determined ones of the woman in front of him.

“It's alright, Lindsay.”, Jack said. “He didn't do anything wrong. No need to hurt him.”

“Hey, aren't you there to protect me or some shit?”, Geoff growled as he sat up. He looked up to the blacksmith who hadn't even moved. The bearded man simply shrugged: “Can't save you from your own stupidity.”

“Fuck you.”, the first king hissed, wiping some blood from his torn lips.

Ryan stood up abruptly, shaking the warrior off of him before walking away without another word. For a moment Michael hesitated before he hurried after him, a little unsure as to what to say. He couldn't remember seeing this man lose control like this before.

“Are you alright?”, he asked carefully, having trouble to keep up with the man, but it didn't matter anyway as he was simply ignored. “Ryan!” Reaching out, he managed to grab onto his coat. It was worth nothing as it brought forth no reaction at all besides that he was now tailing behind him through the hallways like a little boy: “Rye!”

“Leave me alone, Michael.” It was a dark grumble that he hadn't heard in a long time. It was the voice of the Mad King, commanding them like dolls.

“No!”, the warrior growled. It made him angry to think that the counselor had to talk to him like this again. Weren't they way past this already? Spurting, he took hold of his arm: “What just ha-” He got shoved out of the way. Not even gentle but with enough force to make him lose his step and crash into the wall.

His brain didn't even have the time to be shocked when his body was already on the move again: “Ryan!”

“For fucks sake! Leave me alone, Michael!”

“No! Look at me!”

“You wouldn't understand!”

“Then make me!”

A deep growl was all the answer he got as he followed the man, seeing that his whole form was shaking with rage. They had arrived at his private room and Michael saw him already reaching out for the doorknob and he was way too furious himself for letting that happen. Ducking under the others arm, he squeezed between him and the door, pressing his back against the wood. “Look at me!”, he demanded again.

Anger flashed over Ryans face and the warrior already shifted his stance to take a hit but it disappeared with a heavy huff as he did what the other demanded. And Michael took the opportunity to search in the blue eyes because this outburst had been so suddenly and he didn't really understand what had happened. But it had been out of character for Ryan that it had scared him. Maybe, just maybe it was his demon breaking through. Maybe Ryan had more control but that didn't mean that it was absolute, right? If he was slipping away, he needed to know! He needed to look out for that, to calculate what to do, to maybe find a way to calm the man down again because Ray losing control was bad enough. He didn't want to imagine Ryans demon running lose.

But he could only find the counselor in the eyes and even though he should be glad, the blue was filled with such a fear and panic that he didn't know what to say. Because something that could let Ryans iron control slip and scare him? It had to be something terrible.

Swallowing, he stepped away but the counselor didn't move just now.

“Do you need anything?”, Michael asked a bit shy. “Should I... should I maybe call Gavin to look after you?”

The eyes grew softer as the other shook his head.

“Are you sure? He wouldn't mind.”

“I am sure.” A heavy hand brushed against the shoulder of the warrior before he escaped into his room: “Thank you, Michael.”

He watched the door for a few minutes as if he expected that Ryan would change his mind but of course it didn't happen. After he made sure of that, he turned around thinking hard about what had just happened and if he should report it. It wasn't really a question though because he couldn't risk that Geoff was telling Gavin about it first, turning it to his favor and the king was going to become mad at them for not spilling it to prepare him.

When he stepped into the throne room, he was greeted with two surprised but pleasant smiles. He didn't let any of them take a breath: “Ryan and Geoff just had a fight.”

Gavins smile fell first before turning back disbelieving: “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I just said. Ryan gave him a solid hit in the face and it wouldn't have been the last if I hadn't stopped him.”

“Are you messing with us?”, Ray asked and it sounded like he wanted it to be true.

“Sorry but I don't.”

“But why?”

The warrior stopped himself before answering. He wasn't exactly sure what it had been but he was sure it had to do with Laurie. Whatever it was it was personal. “It happened too fast. You have to ask Ryan.”

Gavin was on his feet and heading towards the door before Michael was blocking his way: “Later. He made pretty sure he wanted to be left alone right now.”

“But Michael!”

“Give him some time to calm down!”

For a moment he was sure the king wouldn't listen to him, there was a struggle in him that was obvious for everyone but in the end he sighed heavily. “Fine.”

 

“And you think that was smart?”

“Shut your face.”

“Sit down.” Jack pointed towards the bed. They were in the room Gavin had assigned him and Geoff was currently bleeding on his sheets. Sighing, the blacksmith rummaged through his bag until he found a clean rag and some balm, before sitting down as well: “Gavin will be furious.”

“I don't care.”

“Sure thing. I would still appreciate it, if you could stop your jealous act for once because you kind of pull both of us into the mess you create.” He didn't even try to start cleaning the wound now because Geoff was going to flip on that.

“Me? Jealous of whom?” And there it went.

“Ryan.”

“The Vagabond?”, Geoff spluttered with a laugh. “And now why wou-”

“Hold still.” Finally the first king settled down with a huff and Jack got to work: “But it's pretty obvious, isn't it? You hoped that Ryan was going to start a ruckus which would lead to Gavin getting on the throne. That part worked out but the aftermath was quite different, seeing as you wanted to become Gavins counselor.” He felt Geoff starting to talk and squeezed his jaw a bit harder while cleaning, to stop the words he already knew. “He has taken your place and is now more welcomed than you are. Right now Michael barely threw you a look even though you were hurt and ran after Ryan. I bet you didn't expect that to happen.”

“Shut up.”, Geoff managed to squeeze out and Jack hummed amused as he added the balm.

“For now let us concentrate on the endermen problem.”

“How many times will I have to tell you to shut up until you do?”

“I'm sure we will find out eventually.”, Jack answered good naturally.

“Also we have to wait for an answer by Ingrar anyway. There is not much for us to do.”

“Than let's agree not to mess with Gavins people so he doesn't ban us from here.”

“But the Vagabond gives me the creeps.”

“That's not our problem anymore, Geoff.”

 

He tried, he really did. But first Michael left to join the other warriors at the gates and the work was already repetitive before and now that he couldn't stop thinking about Ryan, it was nearly impossible.

Gavin managed to hold on for a bit longer than an hour and he was on his feet again. He wanted to tell Ray but the knight was already next to him, so without wasting time with words, they headed out. Ray left him some space as the king stood in front of the door, taking a huge breath before knocking: “Ryan? Are you alright?”

Waiting for a reply, he let his hand rest against the wood. He didn't get one. “Rye, please answer.”

There was some shifting on the other side but it died down soon. So he was there. “Please... I'm worried.”, Gavin whispered but it seemed to reach.

“There's no need. I'm fine, Gavin.”

He had listened closely and there was no shiver in the words. But it still sounded like the voice of a stranger.

“Can I come in?”

The question was followed by silence as he let his hand rest on the door handle, waiting with closed eyes for permission.

“You are the King.” Again this polite voice. “I can't really stop you, my liege.” There was a distance in the words that pained Gavin. With a soft thud his head connected with the door that parted them. Ryan didn't speak without thinking and those words had shown him that yes, he was still loyal but he hadn't called him by name. He would accept the judgment of his king but he didn't want his friend to cross the boundary.

Gavin respected him enough to accept that.

“Alright.”, he finally managed to say, his hand falling back to his side. “But please make sure that you call if you need something.”

“Thank you, Gavin.”

It grew quiet after that and that told him that Ryan also didn't move. A tense anticipation was hanging in the air as if both of them waited for the other to open the door. Sighing, Gavin threw a look to his right finding the knight. He walked towards him but passed without a word as they headed back. It didn't seem needed anyway: “Don't do something stupid just because you are angry.”

Ray was right. It was pretty much the same Ryan always told him but right now it fell on deaf ears. So he simply continued with wide steps, passing the throne room without wasting a thought on it.

Ray was next to him, throwing him worried looks but didn't interfere until they reached the courtyard: “Would Ryan allow this?”

“He's not the best role-model himself right now, is he?”, Gavin growled. “Also I don't care, I am the King and I chose what I do in the end.”

He ripped open the door of the dining hall and the conversation died in the room. Ray felt nervous when all the eyes found them at once but the king didn't seem to notice as he found Geoff and Jack in the back. Continuing his way, the people in the room stumbled to their feet, saluting and greeting him hastily, obviously surprised and confused by the sudden appearance.

Jack stood as well, Geoff didn't.

That was alright with Gavin because that way he was towering over the man. They eyed each other thoroughly without a word. A bruise was starting to bloom on the older mans face but the split of his lip was already taken care of.

“Geoffrey.” It was merely a mumble.

“My liege. What gives me the honor?” There were some suppressed laughs in the room at the mocking voice.

“It came to my attention that there was some sort of... disruption between you and some of my staff.”

“So?”

“I just wanted to remind you of your stand here.” With those words it grew dead quiet in the room. “You are a highly appreciated guest of mine, Geoffrey. But I have to remind you to treat my people with the needed respect as they are all honorable men as yourself. Of course I will also inform everyone again that the same goes for you and I'll make sure that they don't dare to mistreat you in any way. I hope we can agree on those terms.”

There was a proud flicker in the blue eyes before Geoff chuckled as he bowed his head slightly: “I wouldn't want to have it any other way, your Highness.”

“I'm glad. I apologize for interrupting your meal.” He was turning away when he heard the angry words somewhere to his left. “How _dare_ he talk to King Geoffrey like that!”

His gaze shifted over the soldiers at the tables but couldn't tell who it had been. “Say it to my face.”, he demanded and one of them was actually stepping forward. “No problem. I don't have to hide behind some demons all the time!”

“I assure you I am not hiding but it seems that you are, seeing that you are not yet informed that I am the King.”, Gavin hissed quietly, feeling his rage getting new fuel again. It burned in his chest like a flame.

“Thinking about the last Kings it won't be for long. It's obvious that King Geoffrey will get on the throne in the end.”

“But he is not – I am.”, Gavin stepped towards him, not caring that the man was taller than him, that he was more muscular than him, that he was by far stronger than him. His anger was enough to compensate that, making heat radiate from him that let his hair and coat wave. “And as long as I reign I demand you to respect me! You don't seem to mind me paying you and I gave everyone here the choice to stay or leave! It's obvious of what you decided but the offer still stands. If you don't want to work under me leave right now!” He pointed at the door, not moving a muscle, not even blinking until the soldier slowly lowered his gaze.

“That's what I thought.”, Gavin mumbled, before he took a look around. “Anyone else? No? Fine, please enjoy your meal.”

He left the dining hall with the same determined steps but he took deep and heavy breaths as he met the fresh air, trying to calm his temper down. It didn't help that they could only wait right now. It didn't help that he still got reports over deaths in the city even though he had sent out so many warriors to roam the streets, keeping the security of the castle at the absolute minimum. It weren't that many incidents anymore and he couldn't help but fear it wasn't because of his own men.

It had been Michael who had mentioned it almost absentmindedly. That they found less endermen even thought there were more people looking for them. And then he had added that this had started right after Geoff and Jack came back in the city.

Gavin had heard about that strange rumor before but it was stupid and couldn't be true. That the creatures of the wild feared the Ramseys. That's why this country was considered so peaceful and had barely any problems with the mobs. Because even they bowed to the rightful heir of these lands.

The allfather.

 

Ryan came to work the next morning like always but he made sure right away that he didn't want to talk about it. He was quiet and distant the whole morning until he left shortly after noon, claiming he wasn't feeling well.

He was completely absent the next day but Michael said that he had met the man the night before, finding him wandering through the halls. “I nearly attacked him, thinking he was an intruder going for the King. I asked him if he came to see Gavin but he said that he simply didn't want to bother anyone.”, the warrior admitted. He had managed to get the counselor to settle for a while, playing a card game to pass the time before Ryan went back to his room.

Needless to say that Gavin wasn't happy with that. He was moody throughout the day, debating if he should go and see his counselor or not. It seemed clear that Ryan could look after himself but it still rubbed him the wrong way not knowing what exactly was going on in the others head. Hadn't he always spilled his own thoughts? Why not the other way around? A mirror worked both ways, didn't it? It worked for Geoff and Jack, too!

So he found himself in front of the very same door again, this time alone as he knocked loudly: “Ryan?”

No reply.

“Ryan if you don't answer I will come inside.” It was an empty threat because he had no intention to cross the clearly drawn line but it had worked the last time. It didn't this time.

Frowning, he knocked again: “Are you there? Are you alright?” Silence followed and fear struck him like lightning. Because he wasn't even hearing steps or breathing or any hint of something alive in the room he had never set foot in. The door wasn't even locked when he tried and it swung open without any resistance. It revealed the clean surroundings he had expected but only because the shelves were completely empty, the bed untouched with neatly folded blankets.

There was no one inside.

Gavin stared a little longer before he stepped in, feeling guilty because he wasn't allowed to but he would never find peace if he didn't check. So he closed the door behind himself but even in that blind-spot no one was hiding. Knocking on the bathroom, he let himself in also finding no trace. It was clean and impersonal.

Panic bubbled in his stomach as he stumbled back, ripping open the closet and praying to find _anything_.

There was nothing in there.

Ryan was gone.

Gavin woke up with the same fear in his guts and for once he knew immediately that it had been a dream. It didn't change a thing.

His breath was still rigid and fast as his heart didn't think about calming down. Ryan wouldn't leave him, he had nowhere else to go! And there was no way he would do it behind his back, no. They would talk. Right?

It wasn't working. His eyes stared at his shaking hands, realizing he had scratched at them again. He hadn't done this since the counselor had come back and now his fingers itched to dig deeper, to break the pink new skin.

He needed to make sure. He had to see Ryan.

Getting out of bed, he was surprised how heavy his legs felt as if they had been tense for a long time. Rubbing the muscles with fast strokes, he looked around letting his eyes settle on the door. Was Michael out there?

He wasn't sure. If he was not, the guard wouldn't let him pass, right? That wasn't a risk he was willing to take so he rather took another. Opening the window, he stared down. There was a tree but the thought alone was dangerous and incredibly dumb; also he hadn't had any luck with trees. A small part of his brain told him to calm down and think about it. Maybe Michael was outside, maybe he could ask a guard to get him if he wasn't but every thought cost time and maybe Ryan was packing right now. That let fresh panic flood his system and he was leaping out the window before he realized it. A thought resurfaced, informing him that he should wear boots but then he was already crashing through the branches, landing on a bigger one without much problems. It surprised himself but he was glad as he broke through an open window into his own castle, hurrying through the hallways, feeling his heartbeat pick up again.

There were barely any guards he had to dodge because they were on the streets, hunting for the endermen and that was even worse because it was so easy to sneak out then. He reached the door and tried to compose himself, knocking only once even if everything wanted to simply burst in. He nearly did it as he couldn't hear an answer and all his control slipped, the fear grabbing him tight as he banged mindlessly at the door: “Ryan! Ryan open the door! Please answer! Please, I beg you! Tell me-” His words stumbled over themselves and his breath hitched, shocked by his own panic filled voice. He had to look like a mad man, screaming like that in the middle of the night.

The thoughts disappeared when the door was ripped open and he nearly fell face first into the room beyond. “What happened?”, Ryan wanted to know, his hand not holding his sword taking a tight hold on his arm. “Are you hurt? Why are you-” He stopped himself as his eyes traveled along the hallway: “Where is Ray? Why are you out here alone?”

“Are you alright?”, Gavin interrupted him fiercely, getting back on his own legs.

His counselor stared at him dumbfounded: “What?”

“Are you alright?”, the king repeated but didn't wait for a reply, staring into the room. Clothes that were surprisingly just thrown over a chair, a candle lighting up a messy desk.

“Of course I am alright, Gavin.” The grip tightened and the king looked at him again. “What happened?”

“I had a nightmare.”, he declared. “You are not leaving, are you?”

The alerted look in the blue eyes turned into confusion until it softened slowly: “No. No, I won't leave.”

Sighing relieved, Gavin felt himself relax and slumped against the door frame: “I'm glad...”

Uncertain of what to do, Ryan shifted a bit before giving in: “Come and sit down.”

Gavin did, glad to find the familiar scent woven in every fabric of the room, giving him a sense of security. It was the strongest near the bed so he sat down on the mattress, watching the other grab the chair to sit in front of him: “Did you dream I was going to leave?”

A timid nod.

“I wouldn't do that, Gav. I just... just needed some time for myself, alright?”

“Alright.”, he answered, already feeling a bit stupid because of his behavior.

“How did you even get past the guards?”

“I jumped out of the window.”

Ryans raised his eyebrows, his expression changing between disbelieving and amused. It went unnoticed as the king looked around the room. There were some books on a shelf to his left and one door of the closet stood open, revealing neatly folded clothes. On top of the small fireplace was the gingerbread he and Michael bought him at the festival and it made Gavin smile.

The desk in front of the window was a mess of paper and ink and the candle on it was nearly burned down: “Were you working?”

“Yeah, I couldn't sleep.” Stretching, he put the sword next to the bed again. “You know this was just a bad dream, right?”

“I know.” Looking back at the counselor, he admitted: “I was worried.”

“It's over now.”

“I don't think it is.”

Ryan stayed quiet at that, nodding slowly as he stood up and offered: “I'll take you back to your room.”

“No.” None of them moved for a moment, watching each other intensely before the counselor sat down with a huge sigh: “Fine.”

“Why did you punch Geoff?”

“He made me mad.”

“I figured that much.”, Gavin said flatly while rolling his eyes. “And I've been thinking about what he could've possible said that made the situation escalate like that.”

“I'm sure Michael already told you.”

“Michael said I should ask you.”

Surprised, Ryan looked at him before smiling a bit: “Is that so...” But his face darkened again: “Geoffrey knew about Laurie.”

“Laurie..?”, Gavin repeated slowly before he understood. “Your wife? He knows about your wife and your kids?”

The counselor nodded defeated and for the first time he showed the exhaustion that he was carrying with him as he let his head fall into his hands.

“But how? How did he fin...”, the king stopped himself. “Of course. Jack would find out without a problem...”

“I don't care how they did that or who it was!”, Ryan hissed. “Someone was near her! Someone that is on their side was near my family and watched them and found out their names and probably knows more about them than I do!”

“I'm sure they a-”

“Sure? How can you be sure of anything, Gavin?” He was on his feet, walking back and forth in the little space, his voice loud: “They were there! Maybe not Jack and Geoff themselves but they might as well! I counted the days, I've done the math, damn I did nothing else in these past days – they could've gone there and come back without a problem!”

“Geoff would neve-”

“Geoff hates me!”, Ryan screamed at him and the king flinched at the fear in the voice. “He risked everything and lost it all and I was the one who started that! I was the factor he couldn't control! Michael told me about their plans; he despises me!”

“Rye-”

“He lost his throne, he lost his kingdom, he lost you and Ray and Michael! I try to think of a reason why he wouldn't want to take everything from me but I can't find one!”

“Ryan, please! Ryan, I swear!” The king stood up as well, trying to get a hold of the other but was shaken off immediately: “I know Geoff! And I know Jack; they wouldn't do something like that!”

“How can you say that you know them! If you did, how did they play us out against each other like that! How could you not see all of what happened coming!”

Gavin cringed at that but tried to reason some more: “Listen; that's true! I won't deny that but I swear that Geoff would never ever hurt someone innocent! Most of all he would never hurt a child! And even if that thought crossed his mind for the tiniest moment; Jack would stop him! There is no way that Jack would allow him to do something so stupid!”

“He said I don't need to worry about them anymore.”, Ryan whispered and suddenly his voice was breaking and Gavin had never seen him so lost. Maybe in the brief moment when he had realized that he was dying and had to go back into the Nether but even then he had hid it until he had composed himself. Now he was just staring at him with unshed tears in his eyes and shaking hands and Gavin didn't know what to say to make it better. Geoff had so easily shattered the ground on which this man was standing on, a man he had considered to be solid, to be safe with, to be in control.

And then Ryan was stepping forward and for the first time he was burying his own face in the crook of Gavins neck. Quickly the king slung his arms around the trembling form, listening as he took huge breaths to calm himself down.

“When was the last time you slept for some hours?”, he asked, letting his head rest against the others hair.

“I don't know anymore...”

He figured that much. Without letting go, he turned towards the bed and guiding him to sit down. Cradling him while he hummed softly, he waited for the shaking breaths to even out, until he offered: “We will deal with this tomorrow but I am very, very sure they are fine. Please just trust me about that but you need to sleep now. You are wearing yourself out and that helps no one.”

There was a tired nod against his throat as Ryan obeyed and laid down, tugging gently at his nightgown. Gavin followed, curling up next to him, glad that he finally calmed the other down. But the feeling was quickly replaced as he remembered the last time they had laid like this. He tried to shove it down, tried to stop the sickness to take a hold of him, tried to ignore the itching of his hands but the last time he had laid next to Ryan he had killed him.

Moving his arm until he found the heart beat against his palm, soothing him. He still couldn't shake off the feeling that he was going to lose someone close to him in the next moment. His mind wanted to be sure all the time. It was Michaels warmth that made him laugh and Rays steady heartbeat that calmed him down and now listening to Ryans breath so close made him feel protected. Right now he could simply fall asleep but he wanted to let this moment last for a bit longer.

Ryan sighed quietly before draping an arm over his eyes and Gavin could feel the muscles underneath him relax. Maybe this night his counselor could find some much needed sleep.

Scooting closer, the king planned to follow him as soon as possible. Actually he shouldn't. Maybe simply waiting until he was sure the man was asleep before going back to his own room was the better choice. Michael and Ray were maybe not killing him then.

Frowning, he realized he had no idea how to get passed his own guards to get back inside his bed. He was agile but there was no way for him to climb back up the wall to his window.

So he was screwed anyway.

He let his finger draw patterns on the chest of the other, chuckling quietly when the hand close to his back mirrored them sluggishly. Looking up, Ryans mouth was a bit open, taking long and slow breaths.

Gavin couldn't help but wonder if the man snored or not. Back when they had been hiding in the woods he hadn't but that was a different time and he couldn't recall seeing the counselor this relaxed then. The idea amused him and he couldn't help but hope for it, to have something to tease him with.

His gaze dropped to the others throat and his light mood vanished upon seeing the untainted skin there. No marks, no bruises.

The image of his own fingerprints with smeared blood had burned itself into his mind that seeing this always felt surreal. Reaching up, he let his fingers sweep over the others throat as if he was trying to wipe the paint away, uncovering the evidence of what he had done.

A shiver ran beneath his touch and for a moment he stopped, wondering if it had been because he had surprised the other man or out of fear. Such a strange thought that Ryan would fear him.

Interested, he waited for a second reaction that didn't come.

Scratching slightly, he forced another out, feeling the others Adams apple bob underneath his fingers.

Savoring the feeling of power he had right now, he propped himself up, observing intently Ryans face. Still no words had left his mouth but his lips were no longer parted, rather forced together in a tight line. The arm was still covering his eyes, making it impossible to read his expression.

Gavin let his gaze drop back down, noticing that he had drawn the red lines he had memorized so easily back onto the skin. Without much thinking, he leaned forward to press his lips against the spot. Trying to sooth the heated flesh while his fingers continued to dance absentmindedly, drawing another shiver from the man underneath him.

The arm he had rested on before wrapped around his form when Gavin let his mouth travel over the artery, making sure to feel the satisfying pulse before he found a spot right beneath Ryans jaw to settle on.

He should mark him.

Leave another bruise for all to see that he did it good, that he made it alright again. That yes, he had inflicted damage but also took it away.

His teeth found the delicate skin, flooding his mouth with the new taste when someone tugged at his hair.

“Gavin.”, Ryan mumbled low and the kings eyes opened in trance, his lashes fluttering against the others jaw. It wasn't a warning but it still made him retrieve carefully, noticing the all to familiar hand in his hair that didn't pull anymore but was still holding tightly to his strands.

He blushed deeply upon realizing what he had done and was quick to cover back down. Waiting with a frantic beating heart for a judgment or to be thrown out of the room, he listened to the slightly uneven breath of the other.

But when nothing came, he carefully curled back against his side.

 

What woke him the next morning was a huge sigh and it sounded annoying and it was way too early to deal with something annoying. So Gavin scooted a bit closer to the comfortable warmth, ready to ignore the bother as long as possible.

It worked until cold water flooded the bed and Ryan shot into a sitting position, forcing the king to do the same.

“You know...”, Michael began, greeting both of them with a sharp smile as he lowered the washbasin. “I should actually be mad at myself for not thinking about this earlier but it's really funny because I am way more mad at you two!”

“Micha-” “No, no! Please let me talk.”, he continued with a fake sweetness in his voice. “After I opened the door to the kings chamber and not finding the King himself in there, my first guess should have been that you are here, of course! It was foolish for me to consider that you may have been kidnapped under my watch, maybe killed! I was actually worried; what an idiot I am! So after forcing myself to calm down enough to think rationally again, I noticed that the windows in your room can only be opened from the inside!”

Gavin tried to hide behind Ryan when the warrior sat down on the edge of the bed but his counselor was not having it. The obvious rage emitting from Michael was enough to make both of them stay quiet.

“So I figured you went out on your own; what a little shit you are! Really got me on that part, I even considered finding you dead on the ground!” The smile was enough to make Gavin whimper. “After that it was pretty clear that you were heading towards Ryan, seeing he was a bit... moody those past days. But the more I thought about it the more unlikely it seemed to me. Wouldn't Ryan let me know that the King had sneaked out on my watch? Wouldn't Ryan tell me that the King was with him so that I wasn't going to die of guilt? Of course he would, right?”

Ryan actually flinched when the brown eyes found him: “Sorry. I guess I should have told you...”

“You think?”, the voice of the warrior turned sharp all of a sudden. “You two are fucking idiots! I am not surprised about Gavin but you Ryan? I was actually on the way to wake up Ray and tell him that the King was gone! I was out of my mind! Gavin, you should know that you could have just asked and I had allowed you to go here? I am not here to control your every movement, I am here to protect you! I can't do that if you are not talking to me!”

“I'm sorry, Michael.”, the king mumbled quietly, looking like a small child that got scolded. It was close enough to the truth anyway.

“You better are. Both of you!” He was standing back up, mumbling something about 'at least they still had their clothes on' while bringing the washbasin away.

Ryan groaned before he allowed himself to simply fall back into bed: “I am getting too old for this.”

“Michael is scary.”, Gavin admitted timidly.

“I will get even more scary if you two don't stand up right now!”

 

 

 

_These are hard times_   
_These are hard times for dreamers_   
_And love lost believers_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let's be honest for a minute, okay?  
> I had a long debate with myself and then with my Beta if I should leave the "kiss" (I'm just gonna call it like that even though it isn't one) in or not. Fact is; it wasn't planned but I am a rather intuitive writer(to quote my Beta: HOW DO YOU FUNCTION?!) and sometimes characters act on their own and I like to see where that's going.  
> In the end we agreed to leave the scene in because it is somehow powerful and a deep insight in Gavins but also Ryans mind. I will NOT change the tags or add them as a couple because honestly; the kiss had nothing sexual in it. Rather a form of desperate possession maybe?  
> I am not even sure anymore!  
> BUT if anyone of you is not comfortable with it or think I should change the tags please tell me and I will consider it! Please consider that they are not going to bang each other in the next chapter or something (that happens in chapter 6, I mean WHAT)  
> The end notes are probably longer than the chapter. See you next week were things get sad - yay!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could do it. He just needed some more time to sort everything out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again here we go!  
> Did you guys see the incredible King Gavin let's play?! Holy shit that was great!

Chapter 5

  
_Sucker love is known to swing._   
_Prone to cling and waste these things._   
_Pucker up for heavens sake._   
_There's never been so much at stake._

 

Ryan had started to come back to the throne room even though he still acted a bit distant. It didn't help that he had asked Gavin not to mention his family and made him promise not to talk to Geoff. According to him it would just give him more power and they had to avoid that at all cost.

He could do it. He just needed some more time to sort everything out.

Gavin wasn't happy about that but in the end he complied. After all he was sure that Geoff wouldn't hurt an innocent family. But feeling the terrible tension and the smug smile whenever the first king was in the throne room made him want to smash something. It always took some deep breaths to calm himself down but if Ryan could do it, he could as well. Also he needed Geoff right now.

As they waited for the answer from Werringtal, he taught him the etiquette and small habits of the country, like to never touch King Ingrar and to not ask him directly for information about the endermen as he was a careful man. For now they had agreed to make it seem like an usual visit.

Jack sat down with him and Ryan as well, making them memorize the map and the most important cities of the country.

“King Ingrar is proud and he is going to be incredibly insulted if he finds out you have no interest at all for his kingdom. Also you won't be allowed to walk around with your bow or sword.”, the blacksmith explained.

“Why?”

“We will reside in his castle and the security will be high, so it would be an insult to assume you are not save enough to walk around unarmed. He might assume that you distrust him. But he can't ask us others to do the same, considering that it is our job, so we have to make sure that either Ray, Ryan or Michael are around you at all times. Lindsay, Geoff and myself will look around for clues about the endermen, so with some luck we won't even have to ask him in the end.”

“I don't like that.”, Ryan mumbled, nodding towards the king. “He needs something to defend himself with.”

“I have my fire.”, Gavin reminded him but was cut short from Jack. “Don't use it if you don't have to. There are more than enough strange rumors going around and we don't know how informed they are about the Nether. If he considers you a threat we don't know what he might do.” Turning towards the counselor, he continued: “What about a dagger? Or anything small enough not to get noticed?”

“I never used a dagger before.”

“You'll learn. Also it's only for an emergency.”, Ryan assured him. “You said you needed a new bow anyway, we will check for a dagger while we are at it.”

“Alright.”, the king agreed hesitatingly, not really happy to be forced outside of his normal weapon.

“Gavin, this is really important.”, Jack said, getting the attention back. “King Ingrar won't trust you, quite the opposite actually. The rumors this kingdom has produced in the past year are bad on itself but he knows you. He has met you before as a little boy and that was way before Geoff considered you as the Prince. So the fact that you are now the King, together with the fact that Geoff is following you, will make him skeptic. This also means you can't trust him. You two will play the usual game of formality because both of you have great influence and a war between the countries would benefit no one, but he is a cautious and sly person. Be careful around him. Your main goal is to keep his focus on you, while Ryan, Ray and Michael will keep you safe. Like I said Geoff, Lindsay and me will get the information we need.”

“Alright.”, he agreed not even trying to hide how nervous he was. But it needed to be done.

He was left with a slight headache and a heavy weight on his shoulder that evening in the unusual silence between the three of them. Ryan was once again distant and Gavin hoped he was pondering about their journey more than anything else, just like Ray seemed to do. The counselor had suggested to him to learn the same amount as them, considering he was going to be next to Gavin all the time anyway and could help him out in need. The knight had agreed gladly and was now staring at the foreign map like it was his enemy.

The chess game was slow paced and full of unsaid words. Maybe that was for the best because if the king had really payed attention to it, he wouldn't have seen the movement in the room.

It was brief and even thought he noticed it, he nearly didn't act on it. But in the end Gavin raised his eyes, finding the figure that stood still at the door, right behind Ryan. It left a warm buzzing in the back of his head because it didn't belong there and it should breath but it did not. It just stood there like it wasn't alive, the long legs supporting a shorter torso, making it look a bit funny. His gaze trailed down the long arms that turned into sharp claws which nearly reached the floor and the king opened his mouth to say something. He forgot his words when he found the creatures eyes, a stark contrast to the completely black body.

They were bright purple, violet even. He felt like he had seen them before but the buzzing in his head grew stronger and he couldn't remember. It was a pretty color, really.

His counselor turned around, Gavin could see it in the corner of his own eyes and his mouth fell shut, knowing that no words were needed anymore. There was a terrifying spark of intelligence in the violet and it was like a slap in the face, making him sit up straight.

The enderman opened his mouth, revealing a gaping hole beneath and even though it made no sound a pain shot through Gavins head. The other two flinched as well but their hands were already on their weapons.

Suddenly the creature stood in front of them without moving a muscle. Ryan was there, crouching before the throne, his chair tumbled over, his sword ready as the claws were raised. The rapier was faster, crashing against the chest of the enderman, slipping over the skin without digging in. The claws did as he moved in front of the other two.

They slid easily into Rays body, freeing a soft spray of red before the creature disappeared to avoid Ryans strike.

“Ray!”, Gavin shrieked as he tried to get to his feet.

“Don't move!”, the knight snapped at him, staggering a little before finding his balance. Ryan stood up, the sword still raised as both of them waited. It barely took a minute until the enderman was in their face again, so suddenly and without a warning that they needed a moment to move. It was still enough and when the sword clashed hard against the black body it broke open, sending violet light out. Hauling his rapier with a scream, Ray buried it in the crack and for the first time the creature made a noise. A high pitched screaming that made the glass in the windows rattle and sent pain straight through their skull.

Then it stopped and as quiet as the enderman had appeared, it crumbled into itself.

Catching his breath, Ryan threw a concerned look to the king, making sure he was alright before he stepped to the knight, grabbing him by the collar: “Are you insane? What was that!”

Looking up to him, Ray blinked confused: “What do y-”

“I had it! I could have taken the hit with my sword, giving you an opportunity to attack with all you strength!”  
“I wanted to make sure! I can heal, so-”

“I know you can heal that doesn't mean you have to use your gift like that!” Because the sound of the claws ripping through flesh had been so close to him and for a moment his brain had just registered that Ray had been hurt and then there had been warm drops on his face and he could still feel them and they had left him weak in his knees. He had been shocked of the sudden attack and scared for his friend and he still had to make sure that Gavin was safe and it had took him some terrifying moments until he had remembered that Ray could heal.

“Just because you have that gift doesn't mean you can go into a fight without thinking!” He let the knight go, watching as Ray took a few steps back a bit frightened by the angry outburst.

“You aren't stupid, Ray! But you just can't count on your gift all the time – you scared me! That was fucking dumb!”

“Ryan!”, Gavin interrupted him fiercely and he nearly screamed at him too, because the adrenaline was still rushing through his veins and he had no right to stop him because he was damn right! But it shook him awake enough to finally take in Rays shocked face and it was all he needed to calm down.

“I'm sorry.”, the knight muttered and there were actual tears in his eyes, his lips quivering. “I'm sorry, Ryan.” His face twisted in pain as he barely whispered: “It really hurts.”

A trembling hand traveled to his guts, covering the rushing of blood that was soaking his pants as he groaned. A shaking step followed as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed but the hand of the counselor found his arm immediately, stabilizing the knight.

“No, it's alright. I am the one who is sorry.”, Ryan tried to shush him down, the guilt already starting to rush in. He felt like shit.

Guiding the younger man down as gentle as possible, he laid him on the ground, trying to make it as comfortable as possible for him.

“No, you are right. It wa-”

“It's over now.”

“But it-”

“Concentrate on healing, Ray. Hang in there some more.”, he said in a soothing voice as Gavin joined them on the floor, taking Rays hand in his, stroking it softly.

“It gets better in a moment, you know that.”, Ryan continued, watching as the knight nodded. His eyes squinted in pain before he closed them and the counselor reached out, letting his hand comb through the dark hair to sooth the strain. It was the only movement for the longest time, along with the frantic breathing of the knight as he whimpered quietly.

Ryan continued to pat him until the frown eased and the body beneath him went limp and then some more to ease his conscience. It was Gavin putting the hand down gently and reaching for the rapier that made him look up, before he turned around to search for another attack.

“I just wanted to be prepared.”, the king explained and still it left a bitter taste in the counselors mouth. He had left his back wide open.

A hand touched his face and he flinched a bit, still alerted.

“Hold still.” Reaching out again, Gavin used his sleeve to wipe his cheek clean from the small droplets of Rays blood: “He's alright now, Ryan.”

“I know.”, it came out a bit shaking.

“You still look like you just had a nightmare.” His fingers trailed down his jawline before he let go: “I'm glad that you care.”

Not replying, he lowered his eyes as Gavin got up, the rapier in his hand: “I'll watch over the room. You check on Ray.”

 

The letter from Werringtal reached the king shortly afterward and he held the envelop in his hands as he called for Geoff. The message was sealed with violet wax that reminded him of the eyes of the enderman he had seen, a small flower imprinted and his fingers traced the outline before he broke it open.

If King Ingrar denied his request they were back at the beginning, so Gavin took a deep breath as he unfolded the pages, Ray reading over his shoulder.

It was like they had thought; King Ingrar didn't dare to deny them and he was looking forward to their visit, wishing them a good trip.

The knight grinned as he finished: “That's great!”

“It is!”, Gavin agreed. “We prepared most stuff already, so we can leave very soon!” Looking up, he wanted to ask Ryan how long the journey was going to take but he found his counselor deep in thoughts, maybe a bit pale. Before he could worry too much the door was opened and their guests walked in. On his feet in an instance, Gavin stepped up to them, offering the letter: “Look; King Ingrar agreed!”

Both Geoff and Jack read through the message before the blacksmith nodded: “That's good. He could have prolonged this for much longer but he didn't, which hopefully means he thinks this is a normal visit.”

“So he's not wary?”

“We don't know, you still have to be careful around him!”, Jack warned when Geoff made a thoughtful noise. “Claudia?”, he asked, looking up to the taller man. “Is that Ingrars wife? I don't remember meeting her.” He pointed to the signatures at the bottom of the letter.

“You can't because we never did. She was sick while we were visiting Werringtal and died shortly after that.”

“His concubine then?”, Ray joined the conversation.

“No, a King wouldn't let her sign an important letter. He did have a daughter though, didn't he?” Again a look towards Jack for clarification.

“I do believe so. She was with her mother back then so we never saw her either.”, he nodded before he seemed to remember something. “Oh.”

Geoff caught his eyes and made the same expression: “Oh.”

“What?”, Gavin asked slowly. The air around them wasn't threatening but familiar – both of them were slightly amused.

It was becoming even clearer when Geoff actually couldn't suppress the grin that was forcing its way on his face: “Well, you see Ingrar is becoming old and he never had a son. So the next in line for the throne would be his daughter Claudia.”

“So?”

Jack nodded lightly: “That's why he agreed so eagerly. Werringtal was always ruled by a King and not a Queen; he expects Gavin to court her.”

Gavin stumbled over those words, opening his mouth like a fish before closing it again. It was Ray next to him who snickered before he could hide his grin behind his hand.

“Wait. He expects me to do _what?_ ”, the king blurted.

“Well she is a princess, you are a king without a queen at his side.”, Geoff explained eagerly. He was obviously having too much fun as he added: “And you kinda asked to... well, to strengthen the bonds of both kingdoms.” A laugh escaped him and Ray fell in, not really wanting to but the look on Gavins face was too priceless to resist.

“I don't want to court her!”, he whimpered. “I don't even know her! You two didn't tell me he had a daughter! That's not fair!”

“Actually it might be of benefit for us.”, Jack remarked lightly. “He will surely pay a lot more attention to you two than to us!”

The knight snorted loudly at that before he had to turn away, not escaping Gavins punch: “You guys are rubbish! That was not part of the deal!”

“Well it is now.”

Groaning, the king spun around: “Ryan!”

His counselor simply shrugged: “What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Something!”

“I'd never do anything to ruin this promising relationship.”, he assured him as honest as he could muster. Which wasn't much.

Leaving Ray to giggle by himself, the king went back to slump into the throne to pout: “I hate all of you.”

 

He was still pouting by the end of the day but had turned his attention back to more serious matters. After a quick talk with Jack they had agreed to head off in two days and even though he still frowned while he thought about it, it felt way better than simply sitting around and not doing anything.

Like always when it got quieter, Ryan had urged him to get used to his new weapon. The dagger was nothing special, a simple iron blade with a short shaft to hold onto. He wasn't really happy with it, considering the unusual short range but he did as he was told. It had left a few cuts on his hand but by now he was able to balance the tip on his finger, threw it in the air and catch it in a smooth movement. It was like one of the old magic tricks he used to do and once he got used to the weight it had been easy.

Ray had remarked that at least he could impress his opponent this way because fighting-wise he was as talented with the dagger as with the sword. His new bow on the other hand was amazing!

He had spent a long time trying different types but had settled back to the standard longbow. The dark wood had a pretty grain and was so soft that he loved to let his fingers run over it. Too bad he wasn't going to use it in Werringtal.

Tired after the day, he put the dagger back into the little bag at his leg were it still felt foreign because it didn't belong there. He was rubbing his face when the question came: “Can I talk to you for a moment?” Maybe it was the exhaustion that made him overhear the obvious strain in Ryans voice as he slouched back onto the throne: “Sure.”

He looked up when his counselor stood in front of him, such a serious expression on his face that it sparked worries.

“Please allow me to stay here while you are away.”

Ray next to him shifted slightly while Gavin stared at the man confused, before he smiled unsure: “Excuse me?”

“I want to stay here.”, Ryan repeated slowly. “Maybe as your representation if you think I am capable of that but that's your choice, my liege.”

“No.”

The older man sighed as if he had expected that response: “Please be reasonable. You need someone to look after the throne while you are gone and I-”

“No.”, Gavin said again, feeling his thoughts swirl. He suppressed the feeling the best he could.

“I fear I may not have been clear, my King. I just hoped to get your blessing; the choice has already been made. I won’t follow you to Werringtal.”

Ray said something but Gavin didn't listen. He heard none of the words that were exchanged because there was a lot of white noise in his head. It hurt and it stopped him from thinking. “Then I won't go.”, he said.

“You have to. It's the best for the kingdom.”, Ryan reminded him and it felt like drowning. Drowning in the logic reasoning that followed which he didn't take in, because the thoughts stopped swirling and fused to one solid truth: “You are leaving me.”

He had spoken in the middle of a sentence of the other and Ryan quickly fell silent, a hurt expression crossing his face: “I'd never.”

“You are leaving me alone.”, he mumbled again, more to himself but it was loud enough to draw new words out of the other that would be pretty to listen to if he just would. That he was wrong, that he would never leave him, that his mind was playing a trick on him, that it was a logical thing to do so that when he came back everything was alright.

None of this reached him because those were lies, because if he would turn his back everyone would disappear and he was going to be alone and all those voices were coming back at once, straining his mind. He wanted to smash his hands against his broken ears that only let falsehoods into his brain, confusing him.

Warm fingers found their ways to his shoulders and Rays touch snapped him out of his downfall. Ryan was on one knee, his head bowed and was still assuring him that it wasn't like he thought, but all those words just told him that he was going to leave. That Gavin was going to come back and Ryan was gone just like in his dream and he needed to stop this. He needed to stop him!

“I'm sorry.”, he managed to bring out, surprised that there had been no air in his lungs for that short sentence. He made sure to take a breath and try it again: “I'm sorry.” He wasn't even sure about what and the head of the other was raised as he stared at him confused. But that was alright because if he was doing good, Ryan wouldn't leave him. If he was good, he wouldn't be alone and maybe he had done something stupid and Ryan was angry so he needed to apologize!

“I'm sorry. Please stay and I promise I'll be good. I'll be really good.” _I'll stay in my room and be quiet and I will be really careful, so please don't leave me alone._ He didn't say these words because they confused himself and he felt so many eyes burning on his skin already as he tried to catch his breath but there was a weight on his chest.

“Gavin.”, Ryan whispered gently. “I'm not leaving you behind, alright? Can you trust me on that?”

He violently shook his head, feeling tremors running down his spine: “I don't allow you to stay here. You will join this journey.”

“No. I will not.” It sounded like he was explaining something really simple to a small child and Gavin felt the last control over the situation slip.

“Just go then!” He was suddenly on his feet and he couldn't remember how but his voice was loud between the walls: “If you want to leave, just go! Don't ask me for my fucking blessing! Leave this castle then and go on! Leave my city, leave my country!”

The blue eyes were wide in shock and Ray was calling him strongly. It backed him even more into a corner and he bared his teeth for defense: “I don't need you anyway! I took you in, I gave you a place to stay and that's your thanks? Go! I don't want to see you anymore! Leave me once and for all, I don't care!”

“Gavin, please calm down!” Ryan stood up, his hands raised but the gesture was greeted with another yell: “Don't call me by name! I have a title! You are standing below me, Vagabond!”

The last word fell heavy, leaving a terrible silence behind as the king tried to catch his breath. They could all hear Ryan swallowing: “I am not a vagabond anymore. I am your counselor.”

“No.”, Gavin said viciously low. “Ray can take your place. I don't have a need for you here anymore.”

“But-”, the older man moved his lips but no noise came out, his eyes lowering to search for a sign that this was all a joke. “But I am... am I not your mirror?”

The king stepped up, raising his arm with a fast movement, his face a mask of anger. Ray grabbed him before he could bring the hand down onto the other who didn't even flinch: “Stop it!” Forcing himself between both of them, the knight tried to look into Gavins eyes: “Get a hold of yourself!”

“Guards!”, was the answer he got. “Guards, bring this man away!”

“No! Gavin, calm down!”, Ray yelled, turning around as the door opened as the guards walked in. “Get back to your posts! That's an order!”

“No, they will take the Vagabond! I don't want to see him anymore!”

Ray stared at his old friend, finding a consuming fear in the green eyes. Letting go of the outstretched arm, he took his face in between his hands: “Gavin... it's alright. Please try to calm down!”

“You're on his side.”, the king whimpered and his face contorted in pain. “You also want to leave!”

“Never! Gavin I'd never leave you! Please look at me!” And for the first time he seemed to reach him, the fog of panic clearing in the green eyes and revealing the sorrow beneath.

Shushing gently, Ray moved his thumbs across the others cheeks: “I'll take care of Ryan, alright?”

“You will go away with him.”, Gavin whined desperately.

“I won't, you know that. You are tired and you don't think straight. Do you want to lay down?”

“Don't leave me alone.”

“Never.”, Ray assured him, pressing a kiss against his forehead. “I'll look after you the moment I am done, is that alright?”

He nodded slowly before the knight managed to guide him towards the guards: “Bring him to his room and let him rest. If he tries to leave, you will inform me _immediately_!”

So Ray watched them go and felt his shock slowly catch up to him, blood pumping through his veins. Placing a hand over his mouth, he turned around, finding Ryan exactly where the king had left him.

Nervously, he stepped closer, swallowing before saying: “You know he didn't mean that.”

“I figured...” Ryan stopped himself at his shivering voice, clearing his throat before trying again: “I figured he would take it bad but... but not that bad.”

“You scared him. I don't want to defend his reaction but he's not very good with that.”

“I know.”, the counselor sighed, rubbing his face thoroughly. Noticing the shaking hands, Ray took hold of his arm and started to drag him: “Come with me. I know a place where we can talk.”

“Ray, I kind of just want to go back into my room.”

“You will not sit all by yourself after... that!”, the knight demanded fiercely, happy when the other man followed his lead. He walked fast before Ryan could change his mind, stepping onto the roof of the dining hall a minute later as he felt the resistance. The counselor was still standing in the hallway: “That's not my place to be.”

“Don't be stupid! Of course you can come here!”

“This right here is for you guys.”

Ray stopped pulling before laughing brightly: “You are one of us, idiot!” He felt a little dumb saying it like that and there was a faint blush on his face but seeing Ryans eyes lighten up slightly was worth it. After some hesitation they both sat down on the edge in silence, seeing as Ray didn't really know how to start this. But he wanted to hurry up because it was getting cold and he quickly pulled his coat around himself.

“The city is pretty.”, Ryan mumbled as they looked over the igniting lights everywhere.

“Where you ever really there?”

“I looked around during the festival but besides that, no.”, he admitted.

“Than why do you want to stay here so badly? If you clearly don't really care about the people.”, Ray asked. “Sorry if I am being rude but... I was as surprised as Gavin today.”

“I didn't think it would... escalate like that.”, Ryan admitted, shaking his head before letting it drop into his hands. “It's not that I want to stay here, it's most certainly not because I want to leave Gavin – I just can't go with you to Werringtal.”  
“Why?”

“Laurie.”

Both of them turned around at the new voice behind them and Michael shrugged: “Sorry, didn't want to eavesdrop but I was on the way to Gavin and saw you guys here. Figured it was serious.” Coming closer, he dropped down next to Ryan: “But that was her name, right? The woman Geoff talked about. She's in Werringtal.”

Hesitatingly, the counselor nodded and when the warrior saw the somber look on both of them, he frowned: “What happened?”

“I think... I think I was just banned from this kingdom.”

“Are you fucking with me?” But Michaels words were calm and collected, not even a question.

“Ryan told Gavin that he wants to stay back.”, Ray tried to explain.

“And Gavin snapped?” Again, not a question from the warrior. “I thought it had finally become better.”

“Yeah, I kinda believed that too.”, Ryan mumbled before he sighed deeply, his breath shaking.

“Why didn't you just tell him the reason?”, the knight asked carefully, feeling guilty for questioning a man already on the ground. “I'm sure he would have understood it.”

“Because I waited too long. I screwed up.”, he explained hesitatingly. “The moment Lindsay mentioned the endermen I figured we should ask King Ingrar but that would have lead to the situation we are in right now; that we will travel there and I can't step into the country without risking the safety of my family. So I... I didn't say anything. I hoped it was something that was going to pass, but the endermen simply kept showing up. Maybe I could've still said something then and I nearly did but Geoff and Jack came to the castle and then they knew about Laurie and that meant they knew I was from Werringtal. And of course they told Gavin about King Ingrar and it was too late for me to clear everything up.” Shrugging helplessly, he tried to laugh it off but it sounded pathetic: “Suddenly there was no other topic anymore and I noticed the way Geoff was staring at me, because he knew. _He knew._ And I knew he could tell Gavin and that would even be worse so my last hope... I really thought...”

“That King Ingrar would refuse.”, Ray mumbled.

“I can't believe he did accept! It has to be Claudia, I didn't calculate her in! I'm so damn stupid!”

“You certainly fucked up.”, Michael summed up.

After a moment of silence, the knight slowly spoke: “That's why I had to learn the same things as you. Because you never planned to join the journey as Gavins counselor.”

“I had to prepare you in some way! You heard Gavin; you are more than capable to take my place!”

“Ryan, I can't! I am his knight; I will protect him the whole time!”

“Michael can prote-”

“Oh no, don't flip it on me!”, the warrior exclaimed loudly. “I will be guarding his room at night and I'm a back up on special events. We need at least three people for that job!”

“It's not like we have not enough knights around the castle!”, Ryan tried to counter but Ray was shaking his head immediately. “I will let no one near Gavin I don't trust completely.”

“Lindsay ca-”

“Lindsay will stay with Geoff.”, Michael interrupted him. “She will help Jack in case Geoff will be a target.”

“Ryan, we don't have the time to change the plan anymore! We leave in two days!”, Ray declared. “If you don't come with us I will make sure that Gavin will not set a foot out of the castle! If he is not secure enough I will call this whole thing off!”

The counselor stared at him, his mouth slightly open and he couldn't find any arguments because all of them were selfish and dumb. What the other two said was logical and he had known all of that before. He just didn't want to realize it until now. So he took a breath, feeling his head go in circles around protecting his family and to carry out his duty. Getting lost in the loop, he simply shrugged helplessly: “What should I do?”

 

With huge steps Michael walked down the hallway, passing the two other warriors that guarded the way before knocking: “Gavin, I'm coming in.” Without any hesitation he turned the handle only to find it locked. Raising his eyebrows at that, he was dumbfounded for a moment. That sparked some unpleasant memories.

“Open the stupid door!”

“Go away!”, came the muffled answer. So at least he was in there and alive. It calmed him down a bit: “We both know that's not happening so either you or I open this door.”

No reaction.

“I am serious, Gavin. You know I will do it.”

“I forbid you to step into this room! Now leave me alone!”

Rolling his eyes, he threw Ray and Ryan a quick look before stepping back and breaking the lock with a single kick.

“Michael!”

“What? I'm not in your fucking room!”, he replied, frowning at the darkness greeting him. Turning away, he patted the counselor on the shoulder: “Do your worst.”

He watched as the older man entered the kings quarters carefully, before closing the door behind him.

“You think that's a good idea?”, Ray asked him.

“I can't think of something else. Also Gavin has to decide what to do from here on.”

“He locked himself in... maybe we should have waited some more. Maybe we should have given both some more time...”

“We don't have time, you said it yourself. Also if we just leave it, he will probably act like it never happened. Only that it did and that will only make things worse.”, the warrior explained as he gestured the other two men to leave them in some privacy. Noticing Rays questioned look, he explained hesitatingly: “He did that before. Locking himself up.”

“Did he? I don't think I recall.”

“You wouldn't be able to.”, sitting down at the small table, he sighed. “You were... it was while I was King.”

“Oh.”, the knight made awkwardly, before following suit and sat down opposite of him.

“A man challenged me for the throne. Rakim, I believe.”, Michael muttered before taking the scattered cards and shuffling them.

“What happened?”

“Gavin killed him.” He caught the surprised look of his friend: “After that he locked himself away and refused to talk to me. When he came back out, he asked me to never mention it again and acted like it never happened.”

“He was scared to lose you.”

“Yeah.”, the warrior nodded slowly, before sighing low. “That will take a while. Do you want to go to bed or wait with me?”

“I'll wait.”

“Figured.” Offering him some cards, he added: “To pass the time. Let's hope we don't have to interfere.”

“I don't think so.” Now Ray was smiling a bit: “It's been a while, hasn't it?”

Chuckling, Michael stacked his cards: “I swear I've become so much better. You won't know what hit you.”

 

Moving into the room that had been his own for a few months, Ryan carefully closed the door. It hadn't changed much but it was hard to judge considering that there was no source of light; the fireplace was dead and let the coldness roam free.

“Get out, Michael!”

Turning his head, he made out a figure on the bed. Gavin was burying his face in a pillow, his coat and the cover mindlessly thrown to the floor. Nervously, Ryan raised his voice: “It's me.”

Even in the dim twilight it was clearly visible how the king tensed up, his whole back going rigid in a shuttering wave that seemed to roll from his shoulder.

“Can we talk?”

“Go away.”

“If you want me to, I will.” Still standing right at the doorway it was merely a single step and so he waited, the hand resting on the handle. Because if Gavin would tell him to leave, he would. He was going to leave this kingdom if he wasn't welcome here anymore.

Maybe it was this soundless exchange between them that made the air so tense as the silence carried on. It made the exhale so much louder even though it should be muffled thanks to the cushion: “I don't want you to go.”

Taking a breath, he didn't realized he was suppressing, Ryan let go of the door before stepping closer. After hesitating for a moment, he sat down on the edge of the bed: “I'm glad.”

“Do you... do you even want to stay?” It was a shaky, heavy question that sounded so full of different emotions that it made his head spin.

“I want to continue to serve under you, my King.”, he replied before letting a hand rest on the others back in time to feel a shiver run down his spine. Starting to draw mindless patterns on it.

“I'm sorry.”, Gavin mumbled. It sounded guilty and angry and a bit broken as he forced it out. “I am sorry for the bad things I said and for the things I did. I'm a fool and I panicked. I'm sorry, Ryan.”

“I'm also sorry. I should have told you that so much earlier but I really hoped I could figure something out. I couldn't.”

“Care to finally explain?”

Even now it felt hard to say it, the urge to assure the safety of his loved ones strong after the years of practice: “I come from Werringtal and my family is currently residing in the capital.”

He could feel the tension of the others muscle fade as Gavin sighed: “At least you are honest. For a moment... I feared you'd find another excuse.”

“You knew?”

The king was turning his head and in the darkness his eyes glimmered: “I figured.”

Surprised, Ryan fell silent.

“I'm not that stupid.”, Gavin explained low. “You held back information about the endermen, I could feel it and you held back in every discussion. You made sure that Ray was also prepared, you didn't agree with Jack until I was allowed a weapon and then you urged me to train with it. So that I could defend myself if I had to. But most of all you had that expression on your face whenever someone mention Werringtal and you thought nobody paid attention to you. So distant and lost but you know what? I had seen that look before! It was the same as when you feared for your family! Like a burning memory and it was so obvious. It was so damn obvious, Ryan!”

“I didn't kno-”

Gavin sat up in a fluent motion, his voice raising with him: “So why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you just come up to me and told me the truth? Why did you need to hide this from me?”

“Gavin, wha-”

“Do you not trust me? Didn't I share my every thought with you and I told you... I told you everything! I even said that a mirror works both ways!”

“God, what did you do?”

“Am I not worthy? I try to do my part, I try to help you like you help me but you won't let me!”

“Gav-”

“So today you stood in front of me and you didn't even want to explain and I didn't know what to do! And suddenly you asked about being my mirror and it made me so angry! Because I want you to be my mirror, I really do! But you won't let me!”

Reaching out, he caught both of Gavins arms in his hands but the king jerked violently: “Don't touch me! See! You do it again! You are hovering over me like I am a little child that needs to be watched over at all times! But you know what? You are not better! You also do stupid things and you also make mistakes and get hurt and you never ask for help! Geoff said these terrible things to you and you didn't come to me; I had to force myself into your room! And I helped you, didn't I? It did help to talk about it and you managed to pull yourself together but first you locked yourself away and ignored everyone!”

“Gavin, please light the fire.”

“No, no, no! You will listen to me!”

“I will but I need to see!”

Huffing in frustration it was merely a flick of his hand until the flame sparked: “The only time you asked something from me was while you were dying! You asked me to stay with you and I did! But first you tried to force me to leave you behind, so even in the face of death you didn't trust me enough!”

Ryan had to look like he had seen his ghost and maybe that was why the king hid his face behind his torn hands. “You told me that sometimes you have to hurt someone else and sometimes you have to hurt yourself!”

Now the words felt heavy in his stomach and made him sick as a shiver ran down his body. Still he seemed to have lost his voice were Gavin had found it but all he could do was stare at the nearly dried blood across the arms of the other.

“Why won't you share?”, Gavin whimpered and the tainted fingers moved to tug at his hair. “I'll be good! I can do it! So please!”

Now that he had revealed his face, Ryan could see more in the firelight. The unnatural red on the others lip, the little pink traces on the white teeth telling him so much more than he wanted to know. But it were the smeared fingerprints that littered the others throat that broke him down. The tears were painful in his eyes and felt way too hot to shed them but there was no way to stop them as he hauled the other in his arms: “God, Gavin...”

As grotesque as it was but it was the king who shushed him down softly: “It's alright. If you let me everything will be alright now.” A hand was patting Ryans head before it combed gently through the hair and he knew that the fingers were leaving smears on the strands but every word he wanted to say turned into an aching sob that made him weep against the others shoulder.

“Don't fear, I'll make it alright.”, Gavin mumbled against him, a hum in the back of his throat. “They won't hurt you or your family. King Ingrar won’t dare to lay a single finger on them. I'll make sure of it. He will fear me. He will fear me so much the thought won't even cross his mind. I'll keep you safe.”

 

 

_Like the naked leads the blind._   
_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind._   
_Sucker love I always find,_   
_Someone to bruise and leave behind._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Every you Every me" by Placebo - incredible song, make sure to listen to it!  
> Next chapter might be a few days delayed; I fell sick this week and my head won't allow me to write more than 500 words a day, so I am behind my shedule. Sorry guys, I try my best to catch up again!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By now they were nearly at the border to Werringtal but even after that it was going to take two, maybe even three days to reach the capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Ready for a lighter chapter? It has some cute scenes in it, I hope you like it!

Chapter 6

 

_In the light of recent findings_  
 _there's no greater taint than grace_  
 _But to relinquish all our bindings_  
 _always finds us out of place_  


 

 

The carriages were bumping over the road in the same speed like the past days, which was way too slow for everyones taste. By now they were nearly at the border to Werringtal but even after that it was going to take two, maybe even three days to reach the capital.

To say that they were bored was an understatement because five days in the small space of a carriage was testing most of them. Right now it was as entertaining as it was going to get as they sat around the small makeshift table, which was only a bag with a book on top of it to create a flat surface. Pondering, Gavin stared at the cards in his hands before drawing a new one. His face lit up in a failed attempt to cover it up before placing an useless one.

Michael had only been waiting for that, showing his red nine to Ray before putting it on the pile.

“Really?”, the knight asked at the obvious attack towards him.

“Oh, but you like red, don't you?”, Michael gushed and Gavin fell in, watching as Ray rolled his eyes before drawing a new set of cards. The smile on the others face made them stop as he was able to place five straight down.

“No way!”

“Nobody is that lucky!”

“What can I say?”, the knight shrugged with a cocky smile. “I'm just really good at games.” Amused, he watched them grumble before turning to the man sitting next to him: “Now finish them!”

As much as Ryan loved to, he had no idea what was happening right now. A little lost he stared at his own cards that he would love to organize the right way but every time he did, he was getting laughed at because apparently it didn't make any sense. Honestly, it was the game that didn't make any sense to him but it was a game Michael had invented when they had been kids and somehow it had resurfaced again, full of strange rules and conditions to be met.

Hesitating for a moment longer, he picked two cards and wanted to put them down but Ray shook his head: “You can't do that.”

“But Gavin did it, too?”

“Yeah but the first card you drew was a black card so you are a different class than him.”

That was the first time he heard about classes in this game but he simply showed his hand to the knight in search for help. Apparently they were a team since the other two had formed an alliance and by now it served him well. Rays eyes lit up as he whispered instructions into his ear and Ryan finally understood his plan. Maybe. Hopefully?

Anyway, it seemed to work just fine because as he placed the ordered cards, Michael threw his hands in the air and groaned angry.

“How could you, Rye?”, the King asked dramatically, faking some sobs. “That was cruel!”

For a moment he wanted to apologize for... whatever he had done but Ray next to him was laughing triumphantly and when he offered him a high five, he took the opportunity.

“You peasants can't beat us!”, the knight declared. “Your stupid attacks are just crashing against our defenses!”

“Yeah.”, Ryan fell in, still overwhelmed with the whole game but in the end he decided to fuck it because seeing Michael get so riled up over something so stupid was totally worth it. “Bow down to the red Kings!”

“Damn right, Rye!”, Ray laughed loudly as the other two discussed quietly their next steps. And Ryan smiled because even though he still wasn't sure if he really should be here with them and he wasn't sure what would happen in Werringtal. He still couldn't even figure out this stupid game!

But this had been the first time Ray had called him by his nickname and that seemed to be enough.

 

“So always keep in mind not to touch Ingrar.”, Geoff reminded him for the third time but considering that they were going to reach the city in two days, he felt the need to repeat it once more. He had walked over from their carriage earlier to go through everything once more. Michael had jumped out to give them some room and Ray had followed with some hesitation.

On one hand it still rubbed him the wrong way to leave Gavin in that situation but Ryan was with him. Also it was really tempting to mock Michael some more who took every opportunity to be with Lindsay.

The warrior wasn't really good with sitting still all day and he sometimes rather walked next to the carriage. Mostly when the woman decided to do the same. Ray had decided to join them on most times, only because Michaels annoying face was something he had missed.

“In Werringtal the king stands above everyone and only the closest people are allowed to touch him and he has to give them permission for that. You won't get that. Same goes for Claudia. She might actually allow you if we are right about the courting thing.”

Gavin still winced at that and neither Geoff and Ryan could fight the smirk down.

“The first day will go slow. Ingrar will show us the parts of his castle, he thinks we need to know, after that we will eat with the King and then we will be free to rest.”

“That doesn't sound too bad.”, Gavin admitted slowly.

“It won't be. Besides the meal we won't talk much with him but you and I will do most of that. He will most likely not be interested in the others.” Geoff eyes flickered briefly to Ryan who was sitting next to the king: “Which will probably be in our favor considering some people here.”

“Stop that.” Gavin said instantly, his voice incredibly cold but not in the slightest loud. “I thought we had an agreement?”

“Of course.”, Geoff agreed eagerly with the same mocking smile as before. It fell when he nodded towards the window. The other two turned around and watched as they silently drove by a group of trees, an enderman standing with the back to them.

“If you needed any prove that we are in Werringtal that's it. A sight like this is very common around here.”

“It's not attacking.”, Gavin murmured, propping himself up on Ryans shoulder to see better.

“They are usually not hostile towards humans.”, the counselor explained, satisfied by the look the first king threw him. “That's what makes their actions at home so strange.”

“I see.”

“Do you have any other questions?” Gavin turned back to his father, shaking his head: “No. Thank you, Geoff.”

“No problem.” With a nod he left the carriage and out of habit the king took a relieved breath. It turned into a smile when he noticed Ryan doing the same thing next to him. Standing up, he dropped on the seat opposite of him: “Nervous?”

“A bit but I calmed down. We went through this so much so it'll probably work out somehow”, Gavin assured him, humming excited. “What about you?”

Letting his eyes drift out of the window, the counselor sighed: “I'm scared. I am scared that Ingrar will recognize me, I am scared that I will meet my family but I am also scared that I won't see them.”

“It's alright. I'll make sure no one will harm you or them!”, the king said lightly. Looking back to him, taking in the confident smile and the strange tune he always hummed, Ryan slowly nodded: “I know.”

The door opened and Ray jumped on the steps before sitting next to the counselor. “Michael took forever saying goodbye because of a certain someone. He'll come in an hour or two. Enough time for us to think of something to mock him with.”, Ray explained, eager for his own idea.

It made the other two chuckle but when the warrior followed a few minutes later they simply fell into a comfortable silence which lasted for over an hour. It lured the knight into sleep, curled up on his seat and the counselor seemed ready to follow his suit any minute now.

So Gavin actually felt guilty when he softly called his name but there was still something on his mind he just couldn't figure out on his own: “How do you court someone?”

Michael turned around so fast that the other two stared at him stunned. Blushing deeply, he swallowed: “What? That's... that's like valid information!”

“Sure.”, Gavin snorted before turning his attention back to the counselor.

“Well that usually depends on the girl, there is no... formula or anything.”, Ryan explained slowly. “And in your case you don't want to actually be together with Claudia, right?”

“No.”

“So all you can really do is be polite and talk with her. Listen to what she says.”, he shrugged. “We want her to like you so that her father is occupied with both of you and not pay attention to Jack and the others. If on the other hand you were going for a serious relationship with someone... let's just say with Lindsay.” Even Ryan had to laugh when Michael leaned forward like an eager student.

“You might want to catch some of her signals and sent some back. And maybe make them clear, you know? So that both parties know what they are on and stop dancing around each other.”, he offered. “Hypothetical, of course.”

Gavin started to giggle and the warrior rolled his eyes at him, before leaning back into the cushions, pouting.

“Don't laugh at him, Gavin.”, Ryan said strictly. “If we leave and Claudia is pregnant we will have a serious talk, young man!”

To their all surprise it was Ray who snorted the loudest at that.

 

The nights had grown colder and even though Michael was wearing the heavy fur coat it still lingered on his exposed skin. It wasn't as bad with the fire next to him but it was going to be a problem in a few more weeks.

Jack had a blanket tightly wrapped around him and had even offered it to him but he had refused. Right now they were on watch, giving the horses and everyone else a opportunity to rest.

Lindsay and Geoff were in the one carriage, sleeping on the seats, while Gavin and Ray were doing the same in the other, waiting to be woken up for their shift. Ryan had laid down next to the fire, his and the green coat of Gavin wrapped around him. Michael wondered how the man could sleep like that. Not only was it cold but Michael himself wasn't even tired. There was way too much energy in him he couldn't burn so he figured he was just staying awake through the night and give the others an opportunity to catch some sleep.

Laying on his back, his arms behind his head, he stared up to the clear sky he could make out between the trees. They were going to reach Werringtal tomorrow.

The door of a carriage behind him opened and he crooked his neck to see Ray stepping out sluggishly. Without a word he walked into the forest, probably to pee and the warrior relaxed.

That was until Jack stirred and sat up from his own post: “Ray?”

“Leave him, he has the bladder of a child.”, Michael mumbled but the blacksmith was going after him nonetheless. Because he had recognized the staggered steps and the lowered shoulder but he couldn't really tell from where: “Ray?”

The knight simply walked into the dark woods, way too far for his own good and when Jack saw that he didn't even carry his rapier, he caught up quickly. Taking hold of his arm, he spun the other around. Ray stumbled a bit before catching himself, his eyes staring into the distance and now it seemed obvious because Jack had seen it so many times already.

“Hey Ray.”, he said gently, falling into the same tone as he had done with Gavin whenever he had found the child wandering around. “Let's go back to bed.” Tugging slightly, the knight followed without hesitation: “I didn't know Ray had a problem with sleepwalking.”

Looking up, he saw Michael a few feet ahead, frowning slightly: “Me neither...”

He didn't wonder about that because Jack hadn't actually heard the warrior. His eyes went over his shoulder: “Turn around.”

Not able to suppress trembling, he did. Gavin was standing next to the fire, the same distant look on his face and without moving. The cold wind ruffled the messy hair but he didn't shiver or react in any way.

“Gav?”, Michael called out without really expecting an answer. “What's going on?”

Jack wasn't sure but whatever it was it was making him uneasy. He tried to listen to any other movements around but couldn't make anything out. Still he trusted his instincts enough to act on them. “Take Gavin and get him in the carriage.”, he ordered before he picked Ray up and threw him over his shoulder.

Michael gave him an unsure look but when the blacksmith reached for his weapon, he did the same. “What's going on?”, he asked again, feeling a shiver running down his spine.

“I think, they are reacting to something.”

“To what?”

“Don't know.” Jack moved past him, the knight limp on his shoulder as he urged the younger to move: “Do as I told you.”

The warrior hesitated for a second. He didn't want to listen to the man that had betrayed them so easily but he also knew that Jack had way more experience than him. So he jogged past him, nearing Gavin carefully as if he was a little animal he didn't want to scare. Which seemed not to be the case, seeing as the green eyes simply stared through him without recognizing him at all.

“Gav.”, he mumbled before taking a hold on his arm. It was enough to disturb the balance of him and he slumped heavy against the warrior, needing a moment to get back up in his careful, sluggish motions. “Come, we go back inside. It's cold and y-”

In the corner of his eye he saw Ryan sit up, the same unseeing eyes directed lazily to the ground and Michael felt a sharp pang of fear hitting him.

He flinched at the sudden knock in the silence and watched as Jack opened the carriage door: “Wake up! Grab your weapons!”

This was serious. The warrior wasn't sure what exactly was happening but he began to tug on Gavin gently: “Follow me. I'll get y-”

“Michael!”, the blacksmith whispered sharp and he turned back around, following Jacks gaze.

An enderman stood between the trees they had just come from, his eyes easy to spot in the darkness and even though Michael had never seen one it perked his fear once more.

“Did something happ-” That was Lindsays voice which filled the night and he pried his eyes from the creature to see her looking out of the carriage. She spotted the enderman instantly.

“Lindsay, take Ray.”, Jack instructed without raising his voice, not lowering his gaze. She moved just as carefully, pulling his still sleeping form inside.

In the corner of his eye, Michael made out a second creature and then a third, all appearing out of nowhere. Swearing low, he held Gavin closer and raised Mogar in front of both of them. His foot searched before it hit the counselor, nudging him rough: “Wake up.”

No reaction.

“Come on, Rye. Stand up at least.” He didn't want to avert his eyes for a second, not risking to lose his enemies and maybe he could bring Gavin safely into the carriage but not Ryan if he continued to simply sit there.

“Stay inside.”, Jack hissed but Lindsay dug under his arm and jumped out, her scythe in her hand. The enchantment came to live, the runes shining bright in the dim light as the weapon extended: “Check on Geoff. I can't get him to fully wake up.”

She moved on, her bare feet on the cold and dead grass, her red hair messy from sleeping.

Even in this situation Michael couldn't deny how pretty she was.

Jack threw a look in the carriage and frowned before he took hold of his second axe: “Michael, get them inside _now!”_

As it was some sort of cue, Ryan winced and the warrior noticed he was stepping on the others hand. At least he was awake now.

“Stand up. Slowly.”, he instructed, pulling Gavin with him as he stepped closer to the counselor. The older man was shifting and in the brief moment Michael gave him a look to make sure he was alright, the endermen disappeared.

“Shit!”, he swore, turning on his heels to find them again but Ryans hand grabbed his shoulder, guiding him towards the carriage. “Go! In there, hurry!”

Ripping the door open, he threw Gavin mindlessly inside before turning back to make sure the others were alright. One of the enderman appeared directly in front of him, mouth agape and he saw Ryan reach for his sword, as he flinched. His hand halted before it pressed against his forehead, gasping and Michael moved past him, hauling Mogar. The blade connected with the black body and it stopped like he had hit solid rock, the impact rippling up his arms. The creature lifted its long claws and breathless he moved to stand in front of Ryan, the broadside of his sword raised like a shield.

The crash that followed nearly ripped him from his feet and he was forced back into the counselor. They stumbled and Michael saw a second enderman appear behind the first one before a strong arm slung around his rips and pulled. Both he and Ryan tumbled into the carriage, retreating their legs so that the door fell shut.

Gasping loudly, the warrior still held on to his sword, watching through the tiny windows both creatures stopped dead in their movements. They didn't disappear but didn't seem to think about moving in any way.

Still both of the men waited and it took a while until Ryan breathed out relieved, the air ruffling the others locks.

“Are you alright?”, he asked quietly to not attract any unwanted attention.

Michael nodded and felt the arm around him disappear. Hesitatingly he lowered Mogar: “What about you?”

“I had better mornings.”, the counselor replied and the other huffed amused. “Where's Ray?”

“With the others.” He slipped from Ryans legs onto the floor and crawled carefully to the windows. Both endermen still stood there like guardians made of stone but didn't seem to notice him. Risking a look, he made sure the other carriage was also closed. But they were in the same predicament; an enderman standing on the roof and a second one near the wheels.

At least they seemed to be safe inside.

Swallowing hard, Michael studied the creature that were within reach right now. As slender as their whole form was, he had never expected the power they had in their limps and as his gaze roamed over the large claws he couldn't help but shiver.

His breath fogged the glass and it made him flinch surprised. Taking one last look at the creepy eyes he quickly retreated back to Ryan.

To say that was a more pleasant sight to see was an underestimate. The counselor was currently pinching both of Gavins cheeks and the king shot into a sitting position.

“Stay ca-”, Ryan began but the moment the green eyes found the creatures so close, he jumped, his head hitting the other door. The carriage shook slightly but it was enough apparently. One of the enderman disappeared and was on the opposite side in an instant.

Startled, the king tried to get away again but was grabbed by Ryan: “Calm down. We're safe.”

“Are we?”, Gavin asked shrill.

“Probably.”, Michael mumbled, eying the creatures wary.

“The space is too small for them to teleport into.”, the counselor guessed before sitting down carefully. “What even happened?”

“You guys were... I guess you were sleepwalking.”, Michael explained, watching the surprised looks on their faces. “Jack said you were reacting to something and told me to be alerted and suddenly we were surrounded by them.”

“We reacted?”

“Ray walked towards the endermen and you guys were... well you were probably going to follow him, I don't really know.”

“Is Ray safe?”, Gavin peeped up, a hand pressing against his temple.

“Yeah, Jack took him in.”

“That's good.” Huffing, he winced in pain: “These things are making my head hurt.”

“It's pretty bad.”, Ryan agreed before noticing Michaels confused look.

“What are you guys talking about?”

 

Ray had sat down in the corner of the seat, making himself as small as possible. Lindsay had shook him awake and he had no idea how he got into this carriage but that was certainly not where he had fallen asleep.

They told him that he had sleepwalked but he couldn't remember any of it. Well, that was only natural. Geoff had been in the same condition as him but after making sure everyone was safe, Jack had simply slapped him out of his daze.

Now they were silent under the intimidating stare of the endermen and he hated it. He hated the pain in his head and he hated the company and he hated to be here.

This wasn't his place to be but he couldn't change it and it made him feel miserable.

After he had pulled his legs against his chest to bury his face in his knees, Lindsay had sat down next to him, talking reassuring with him. It was calming until she ran out of words and then she held him, her hand gently rubbing his scalp and that was even better.

For a moment he had nearly smirked at the thought of Michael seeing him like that but that had led him back to the fact that he shouldn't be here!

Gavin was out there and he couldn't reach him. Gavin was out there and in danger and he couldn't reach him. It made him sick to know that and the only way he had hold on for so long was because he knew that Michael and Ryan were with him.

He was as safe as he could be in this situation.

It was still an invisible weight on his chest that made him curl up even more but it wouldn't leave.

Gavin was safe and he was safe for the moment.

Jack had said the endermen were probably going to disappear once the sun would rise but he couldn't possibly wait that long.

And still there was no way to change it right now because opening the door was going to risk that the endermen would react and the same went for opening the door of the other carriage. Also running through the field, as short as the distance might be was still suicide. He didn't even have his freaking rapier with him!

Gritting his teeth, a shiver went through his rigid muscles and Lindsay shushed him down gently. It still felt like someone was pulling at his strings and it took all of his control not to jump out there anyway.

“Are you holding on?”, Jack mumbled into the silence.

“It's just a headache.”, Geoff huffed but it sounded forced and tensed. “I could deal with a scalp message like Ray is getting, though.”

“You have two hands.”

“Figured.”

Lindsay chuckled quietly before growing serious again: “So the survivors of the Nether react when endermen are close.”

“I guess so.”

“Well, that's some way to alert us.”, she offered.

“Would welcome it without the pain.”

So everyone from the nether was feeling that pondering in their head, which meant that Gavin was in pain. Huffing loudly, Ray suddenly felt his feet on the ground as he tried to stand up.

“I need to go.”, he explained, ignoring their stare. Lindsay pulled him back down but he fought against it: “No, I really need to- I can't just- I should be there!”

“It's alright.”, she assured him but it wasn't helping.

“Ray, please sit back down.”

“No.”, he choked out and his legs felt heavy, felt like they wanted to move, to run and reach the other door.

“They are safe where they are. If you jump out there right now you will make the whole situation worse.”, Geoff reminded him and he shouldn't be right. Ray shouldn't listen to any words that man said, he should do the exact opposite of everything that came out of the others mouth. Run out there and avoid the claws and get into safety, get back home. And even if he got hit, he would heal so where was the risk exactly?

A painful whine escaped his lips and he was suddenly on his knees, holding his head.

If he was getting hurt and didn't manage to reach the other carriage what was going to happen? Right, someone would go out and rescue him.

If it was going to be Michael or Ryan or even Gavin himself, they would try. And they couldn't heal and their blood was going to be so red and scary.

Lindsay pulled him into her lap and cradled him gently.

“I need to go!”, he explained to her and he was drowning in that thought like it was water pulling him under.

“Moth.” That word seemed out of place in the darkness of the situation but Geoffs tone made it so heavy that for a moment the knight forget about his desire. The first king held his gaze, his eyes dark and pitiful, a twisted warmth in them: “You are a moth and he is the fire you are drawn to.”

Would that make Gavin his light? Probably, it was hard to think but he didn't mind the idea.

“He will burn you up.”

“That's fine.”, Ray mumbled tiredly, letting his head roll against Lindsays shoulder. “I can heal. That's fine because I can heal.” He wondered if his words made any sense because his mind was clouded, exhausted from the fight against his own urges and it was draining his strength quickly.

He didn't fall asleep, he was clinging to his consciousness like his life depended on it but his body and mind ached for it so it felt like he was floating right between both.

It was when the endermen disappeared from his unfocused gaze that he flinched, staring out of the window. He hadn't realized the sun had began to rise and for a moment he didn't trust his eyes.

“Finally.”, Jack mumbled, flexing his limps. “We should wait a bit longer to be su-”

Needless words because the knight was on his feet and flung the door open. Landing on the grass with his stiff legs made him stumble but he steadied himself, ignoring the calling of his names. He needed to make _sure._

There was movement in the other carriage and his heart began to move faster as Ryan stepped out, looking around before shooting him a smile.

Good. That was good.

Gavin followed, his bow in his hand to fit it through the small door and Ray felt the weight lift, his steps becoming lighter. It nearly felt stupid now, he had clearly overreacted and that in front of Jack and Geoff but he didn't feel foolish enough to not wrap his arms around the king.

Gavin laughed, patting his back and the knight inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar scent to calm his nerves.

Michael was already mocking him but he didn't care enough right now. And for later he could tease him about his own night with Lindsay if needed. Yeah, yeah that sounded good and he finally cracked a smile.

“Watch out!”

He had always been proud of his speed but even though he was looking at the warrior right now, he hadn't even registered the enderman behind his back, too drunk in his own mind.

His eyes found the gaping mouth of the creature, he also saw the blur of the pretty red that was Lindsays hair and he could feel Gavin turning around. The ripping of Michaels coat was something he noticed way too late and by then the woman had already clashed with the warrior, both of them hitting the ground.

By the time Ray reached for his rapier that wasn't even there, the gigantic axe hit the creature, cracking the skin and sunk in deep.

Gasping, Michael lifted his head, staring at the group wide eyed before the fingers digging into his skin tugged harsh. “Are you hurt?”, Lindsay asked worried, her hair spread across the dead grass. He had shielded her with his body due to instinct even thought it had been her who saved him. So he shook his head without thinking too much about the question, rather watching as the enderman collapsed with a terrible shriek. It made him shiver and he was still too shocked to even notice trained hands finding the tear in his coat and traveling from there.

“He targeted you.”, Jack explained as he moved to pull his weapon out of the corpse. “I figured something like that could happen that's why I wanted to wait and act cautiously!” The last words were directed at Ray who flinched under the strict stare. Michael watched how his friend tried to hide behind Gavin who held the gaze furiously but then two fists hit his chest.

“Hey big boy!” Still startled, he looked down to Lindsay who smirked: “Don't get used to that.”

“To what?”, he asked dumbfounded. It ended in him yelping embarrassing high when she flipped them and was towering now over him: “Better.” She winked at him, so close that her hair brushed gently against his face and neck and he froze.

“Not a scratch on your pretty skin. You're welcome.” Her voice was smooth and teasing before she pushed herself off of him.

They were already back on their way and by now he had mindlessly watched Ray sleeping, curled up and with his head resting in Gavins lap when it really hit him what had happened. Blushing terribly, he groaned before hiding his face behind his hand.

“You know.”, Ryan next to him mentioned amused. “That was one of the signal I was referring to.”

“Oh, shut up!”

 

The capital of Werringtal was known under the same name and had apparently waited for their arrival. The streets they passed through were filled with people who cheered and kids who ran next to their carriages, throwing orange flowers, the very same like the ones on the banner of the country.

Orange was the color that greeted them nearly everywhere. Some banners were exchanged with green and silver ones to symbolize the friendship of both kingdoms.

Gavin wasn't sure if the sight was suppose to impress him but it calmed him a bit down. If King Ingrar was going all out on this, it meant he wanted to be on his good side, he wanted to avoid a conflict between them.

He feared his kingdom.

The green eyes traveled towards his counselor, wanting to make sure he noticed it as well but the man leaned back as far as he could in his seat, his gaze cast downwards.

Avoiding to be seen or see for himself.

Turning his attention back to the crowd, he put on his smile and waved.

It wasn't until they reached the courtyard and Ray and Michael jumped out to hold open the door for him, he reached out to took hold of the others hand.

Ryan looked up, fear in the coldness of his eyes.

“Trust me.” It was an order and no request. “I'll make sure you are alright. I'll make sure he won't lay a finger on you or your family. So trust me.”

“I do.”, he replied confident. Bowing his head slightly, he pressed the kings fingers against his lips: “I trust you, my liege. My soul and my heart are in your palm and I couldn't think of a better place for both of them.”

Cupping his face with his free hand, Gavin pulled him closer, letting his eyes drop shut. Kissing the others forehead gently, he whispered against the skin: “Thank you.”

With a single nod, the counselor stood up and joined the other two. Gavin watched how he straightened Rays brooch and made sure the tear in Michaels coat was hidden. With the same cautious touches he saw, the king put on his crown before taking a deep breath.

Stepping outside, he threw a look at the castle in front of them. Build out of gray stone, draped in orange banners. A line of knights showed them the way to the heavy gate where a small group of people waited for them.

“You're ready?”

Turning around, he watched the other three come towards them, Geoffs eyes trained on him. He nodded slowly.

“Say it.”, the first king demanded. “Lose your tongue right here and not in front of him.”

“I am ready.”, he answered, having to clear his throat afterward.

“Good. Let's not make him wait.”

They walked through the passage of knights and as they came closer Gavin could see King Ingrar up close. He was old, older than what he had imagined. The blonde hair nearly gray with age and short, quite the contrast to the beard covering his chin. He watched them attentive, a careful expression on his wrinkled face.

The girl next to him had to be Claudia. The same blonde locks, flowing over her back, her slender body cloaked in the color of the kingdom.

Geoffs hand found his shoulder, gently pushing him forward. Gavin hadn't even noticed that he had slowed down his steps. He caught up with his father and they walked side by side before stopping in front of the king and his staff.

“I'm glad to see you made it safe and sound to my kingdom, King Ramsey.”, Ingrars voice was deep but light as he greeted them, a hand gesturing towards the castle. The people behind him kneeled down and hearing shifting behind his back, Gavin knew that his cortege did the same. Only Geoff bowed his head slightly.

“It's a pleasure being in your beautiful country.”, Gavin answered politely. Under other circumstances he would shake the others hand but he remembered not to touch him. “I am delighted that you allowed me to visit you.”

“Your and my kingdom are united by a strong bond so your request was a joy for my people.”

“I am glad.”, he hoped his smile didn't look as forced as it was. His eyes traveled to the girl who moved forward now, holding out a single one of the orange flowers.

“Welcome to Werringtal.”, she said. Her eyes were big and green as she studied his face nervously. “I hope you will enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you. I'm sure I will.” Taking the offered flower, he briefly thought about giving it back. Saying something along the line that pretty things belonged to other pretty things but he didn't feel quite bold enough for that. Maybe it would even be considered as an insult.

He hesitated again when she pulled at her dress in a light curtsy before holding out her free hand, remembering Geoffs words all too well. But now she was offering so it should be allowed, right?

He couldn't throw a questioned look to his father right now so he gently took the hand, bowing down to plant a light kiss on the back of it. Her cheeks colored slightly before Ingrar gestured towards the gate: “Let's all come in. I don't want to keep you from your well deserved rest for long so let's eat and talk about the other things when we are all fresh and awake tomorrow!”

 

 

_If I rested here a while more_  
 _would you hold me to your heart?_  
 _If I knew what it was meant for_   
_will I know to play my part?_  


 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we are beginning part 2; Werringtal!  
> Be ready for that!  
> The song is "Diamond for tears" by Poets of the fall!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin wasn't sure if the castle was as big as theirs at home or even bigger but he gave up trying to memorize the way they walked and how the paths connected the locations they were shown. Jack would have it memorized by the end of the day anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that; welcome to Werringtal!  
> Enjoy your stay~

Chapter 7

 

_We're a different pair, do something out of step._   
_Throw a stranger an unexpected smile with big intention._   
_Still posted at your station._   
_Always on about the day it should have flied._

 

 

Gavin wasn't sure if the castle was as big as theirs at home or even bigger but he gave up trying to memorize the way they walked and how the paths connected the locations they were shown. Jack would have it memorized by the end of the day anyway.

Right now he was walking next to Ingrar, talking lightly with him about their journey. Yes, they had arrived with no problems. Yes, it was getting cold. No, not a single problem as they traveled.

He wanted to avoid the endermen-topic as long as possible and he didn't want to prolong their banquet anymore. Traveling with the carriage meant they had to live with whatever they brought with them and it hadn't been bad at all but the smell coming from somewhere made him realize how much he yearned for something that was not dried meat.

They reached the dining hall, a large table already loaded with food awaited them and for a few minutes the chatter nearly died down as they all sat and started to eat. Spicy meat and exotic fruits, soup full of vegetables and all in all way more than they could eat.

Chewing slowly, Gavin let his eyes travel over the people. He and Geoff sat on the far end of the table, opposite of Ingrar and Claudia. On the right side of the kings sat their counselors, an even older man than Ingrar himself with scars across his wrinkled face.

Next to Claudia sat a woman, proud and intimidating. She watched the girl with hawk eyes, only taking bites when she approved of her behavior. That had to be her personal maid, making sure the princess didn't forget her etiquette.

Throwing a quick glance to his right, he found Ryan observing the people as well and Gavin nearly grinned at that. Good, in case he missed something he could be sure his counselor was going to notice.

After their first plates were empty, cake and pudding was served. Ray eyed it carefully. His stomach was full but it really looked tasty...

Serving himself a slice of cake he could feel the look of the stranger on himself once again. And again he ignored it.

It was probably the knight of King Ingrar considering he was sitting next to the counselor and yes, he had to admit he was way more impressive to look at. Taller than Jack and more muscles than Michael. He was probably disappointed that the knight of the other kingdom was someone small and lanky like him. Maybe he had looked for a challenge.

Well, Ray was sure he could strike the other down before he could raise whatever weapon he had.

Taking a bite of his cake, he halted. The sweetness flooding his senses made him squint his face and swallowing heavily, he downed the piece, shivering slightly. He wasn't a picky person but this cake had too much sugar in it for his taste and he wanted to shove the plate away from him when he caught Jacks gaze.

'Eat up.', the blacksmith mouthed at him and petrified the knight stared down at the cake like it was his archenemy. Ryan threw him a confused look when he actually whined and rolled his eyes. As discreetly as possible he swapped their plates and Ray whispered: “You don't have to!”

He had noticed that the counselor had barely eaten anything and he knew it was because he was nervous. Of course he was! He was probably waiting for someone to recognize him!

“Eat.”, he simply muttered before he himself did just that.

Ray took a breath to protest when the light banter between King Ingrar, Geoff and sometimes Gavin shifted.

“I am surprised by the choice of people you brought with you, King Ramsey.”

Ryans grip around his fork tightened but it was Gavin whose voice turned icy: “What's so unusual about it?”

“Well if I assume right – and please correct me if I am wrong!”, his hand traveled towards Ryan. “Your counselor, next to him is your knight-” The tall built man snorted at that and King Ingrar threw him a dispraising glare: “And what I assume is another guardian?”

“Michael is my personal warrior.”, Gavin explained, relieved at the turn the speech had took.

“I see. And of course I know Lord Geoff and Lord Jack. But I can't help but be surprised that you brought your concubine.”

Ray noticed the way Michael next to him sat up straight and was quick enough to kick him under the table. They couldn't have him screaming at the king right here and now!

Gavin took a moment longer to understand what Ingrar implied and flushed bright red: “Um... me and Lindsay... Lindsay is not m-”

“I fear you got confused with my services for this kingdom, your Highness.”, Lindsay said slowly, her voice tense as she put her spoon down with a gentle clank. “I am also a warrior, here to protect.”

“I assure you, Ingrar.”, Geoff spoke fast, trying himself on a playful tone. “She is as deadly as she is pretty.”

“Than she must be incredibly deadly.” Raising his goblet in her direction, he bowed his head slightly: “I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, my Dear.”

She simply nodded, her jaw clenched tight.

Geoff was quick to lead the conversation in a different direction, soon laughing with Ingrar as if they were long lost friends, even getting an invitation to talk with the king privately later that evening.

After the meal, they were brought to their rooms and were finally left alone. Michael excused himself, knowing he had to be awake that night. If he was able to sleep was another question, seeing that he was still fuming.

So it left Ryan alone with Ray and Gavin, who were both standing at the tall windows, starring over the city beyond the castle walls.

“I can't believe we are really here.”, the knight muttered excitedly. “I was never outside the kingdom before!”

“The city sure is bigger than ours.”

“That's because King Ingrar likes to observe his people.”, Ryan explained, stepping behind them. “Most people live in one of the five biggest cities in the kingdom or close enough to them. There are many things that you can only do there and most things have to get allowed by the King and his men. Do you see the tall roof in the distance?” He pointed to the far end of the city and Ray had to stand on his toes to see it. “It's the great cathedral. One of only three places in this country you can marry and to do that the King has to allow you. You have to write a letter to him, asking for his blessing and explain why exactly you want to marry this person. Official it is said that he wants 'to be part of the happiness of his people' but in truth they archive the letters, using them in their trials against you.” His voice had grown bitter and both younger men threw him a worried look. That was until Gavin turned to his knight: “Can you imagine Ryan sitting down to write a sappy letter to the King?”

“Not at all.”

“Me neither.”

“You think he spent hours over hours finding the right words?”

“And having like fifty different drafts and kept on crumbling his pages because he felt like he used the wrong words?”

“He bought a dictionary.”

“Absolutely.”

“That's why he uses all those fancy words.”

“I always assumed he simply looks some up and hopes he can throw them in some sentences.”

“Like a checklist?”

“Yeah. Probably has one in his pocket at a-” Ryan reached out and pulled at their ears simultaneously, causing a yelp from both of them.

“Rye, no! You're going to rip it off!”

“I am the King! I still need this, take Rays!”

“What!”

“Both of you can see the city better from the balcony.”, the counselor interrupted their banter before letting go. “The big one they showed us at the beginning.”

“No, it's fine like this.”, Gavin assured him fast. He was relatively safe in this room. Stepping out meant to put up his charade again and the banquet had already left him a bit tired.

There was a knock on the door and the king sighed, feeling the little peace they had already slipping away. Ryan gave him a reassuring pat on the back before he opened the door.

The other, way older counselor stood before him, the scars clearly visible on the wrinkled face: “I hope I don't interrupt your evening, dear Lords.”

“Of course not.” Gavin came towards him: “Please come in, this is your home after all!”

“Thank you, your Highness.” The man took some slow steps, a hand pressed against his back: “King Ingrar wants to know if you are pleased with your room. He can prepare something else if that is your wish.”

“It is all to my liking. Please tell him I said thanks.”

“I will and please call me Venyor.” Bowing down as far as his age allowed him, Venyor brought forth a letter: “The King would also like for you to accompany him on a trip through the beautiful city of Werringtal in the morning.”

“That sounds lovely. I'm really looking forward to it!” And he did. He had barely seen this big city and the thought made him smile excitedly.

“I'm glad to hear that. I'm going to leave the information with Haywood then.” He offered the letter to Ryan who simply stared at him at the mention of his name, frozen on the spot. Venyor threw him a thin smile: “I may be old and my body might be falling apart but my brain is still pretty fit and I have never forgotten a face before, so why start now? Also a face that we searched for so long? I was wondering where you went, James. I figure you'd have quite a story to tell.”  
“It sounds like you are threatening one of my closest friends, Venyor.” Gavins voice changed from his pretty polite words to a cold breeze: “I am sure this was not your intention.”

The old man slowly turned towards him, the smile still present: “I'd never do something to insult your Highness. It's just that I remember the fact that Haywood here was involved with the wrong man a few yea-”

“It seems to me that the unfortunate man was the one who got involved with the wrong person, seeing that only one of them is still standing here. The other is, as far as I am informed rotting in a place I don't care about.”

The smirk finally fell as Venyor observed him intensely: “I hope you are aware that you brought a wanted criminal into the country, into the castle itse-”

“I hope you are aware”, Gavin interrupted him fiercely. “That if any of your people do a single thing to threaten _any_ of my fellows I will not hesitate to overrun this country.”

“Gavin!”, Ryan whispered harshly but nobody paid any attention to him as the heavy words only left silence behind. It took some tense moments until Venyor spoke again: “You consider war over some hurt feelings?”

“It is no consideration at all.”

“I hadn't thought you to be such a protective type, your Highness.” Nodding carefully, the old counselor added: “But I am the same. I do care for the safety of my King and my Princess.”

“None of us came here with a single ill-intent.”, Gavin assured him but it didn't show in his eyes. They were still hard and of a deep color, showing nothing but determination.

“I am glad to hear that, King Ramsey.” With a second bow, Venyor slowly walked out of the room: “I see you in the morning.”

The door fell shut behind him and Ryan closed his eyes, his jaw tightly clenched. Gavin watched him intently, waiting until he composed himself enough to speak: “These are situations I wanted to avoid by staying behind.”

“This is exactly a situation I had expected and I conquered it, didn't I?”

The counselor turned towards him, nearly speechless by the casual tone: “You threatened them with war, Gavin!”

“I told you they will fear me!”

“This is not a solution! What if they find out you are bluffing!”

“What if I am not!”

Ryan stared at him and Gavin stared right back, Ray was moving nervously next to him.

“Listen, all my life I had no power at all.”, the king tried to reason. “My father was the King and everyone loved him, Jack was wise and always knew exactly what action to take, then there are Michael and Ray and both of them are just so damn talented in fighting! They are so incredibly strong and fast and there was me; the Jester, the Fool, the Lord of Misrule!

The only talent I have is the bow and I am not even allowed to use it, same with my fire! And still I am the one left on the throne, I am the one with all these damn amazing people under me – suddenly left in charge to look out for them!

And you know what, Ryan? That's what I am going to do! I will fucking protect them with all the gambled power I have!”

With two quick steps, Ryan had crossed the room, took hold of the others scarf and pulled him close: “You will not sent your kingdom into war because of me! I can handle this!”

“No, you can not!”

“I am ready to share the weight, fine! I know that you are my mirror, I know you want to help me but you are being irresponsible! You have to look out for your kingdom!”

“They won't dare to go against my words no-”

“You don't know what they will do!”

Gavins face was a mask of anger, his hair waving slowly in the heat he was radiating in his rage: “I am willing to take that risk!”

“And as your mirror I will put an end to this right now! You will not misuse your power like this!”

“It is my power and my kingdom and I will do whatever I w-” Ryan jerked him closer and crashed his head against the kings, making him yelp in pain.

Pushing him away again, he finally let go: “I want you to think about what you just said.”

“I w-”

“I said think, not talk. Think about the people who would die, think about the people that would be sent into the Nether by your hand and after you are done with that think some more about the children who will lose their parents and their homes.”

Gavins eyes casted down as he blushed. “I just want to protect what is important to me.”, he mumbled, already starting to feel embarrassed.

“I know and that's great from you and I am thankful.”, Ryan explained. “But you are the King and with that you have this power and you will be responsible with it!”

“Well it's your damn job to make sure of that!”

“That's what I am doing!”

“Are both of you done?”, Ray asked, the only calm voice in the room. “Ryan is right, this was really stupid of you, Gavin. But I also believe they won't risk a war about a... rather minor criminal.”

Both the king and the counselor were looking at him offended but he simply shrugged: “What? It's the truth. Could we now concentrate on tomorrow?” Walking past them, Ray went to get the forgotten letter, before bringing it to Gavin.

Still huffing agitated, he ripped open the envelope, his eyes lingering on Ryan until he had to cast them down to read.

“The tour through the city will begin tomorrow right after breakfast and I can bring one person with me. I guess I take Ray then.”, he muttered challenging.

“For once that would actually be a smart decision.”, Ryan gave right back. “But of course you don't have to listen to your mirror. It's not like this is my purpose or something like that.”

And suddenly Gavin was snorting, his eyes bright again as he started to laugh when Ryan couldn't suppress his own grin.

The knight threw them a wary look, unsure at what exactly made the tension leave but it seemed to be something between both of them, a conversation without words he was left out of.

There was a sharp stab of jealousy in his guts and he quickly lowered his gaze as if he was witnessing something intimate.

“There will be a festival later that evening.”, Gavin read on. “To greet us there will be a small ball, only for invited guests. So I hope you guys can dance!”

“We won't be the ones who dance. You will, we stand back and protect you.”

“But that's no fun, Rye!”

“Well we wouldn't want to bother you and Claudia.”, Ray mentioned, getting an angry look.

“Don't say that!”  
“It's the truth though.”, Ryan explained. “You can't really dance with anyone but the Princess. You are courting her after all.”

“I am _not_ courting her!”

“Pretty sure they see that differently.”

 

“You're alright with this?”, Geoff asked, throwing a look over his shoulder.

Lindsay nodded, walking carefully slow in the unusual heels she was forced to wear with this dress: “Yeah. I have realized long ago; if someone underestimates me because of my gender it's their fault not mine.”

“That's a good way to put it.”, the man chuckled.

“But I have to ask you something.”

“Always.”

“Why me and not Jack? I can't protect you in these shoes, I'm pretty sure that's impossible.”

They were on the way to Ingrar after he had invited Geoff over. It was an offer he couldn't dream about refusing so he planned to use it to his advantage.

“Well firstly; Jack is currently in the library to look for some clues but I know you could do that as well. It mostly is because of Claudia.”

“The Princess?”, Lindsay asked surprised.

“Yeah, the moment when you told Ingrar that you are a warrior, the girl couldn't let her eyes from you. She is interested in you and if possible I'd like you to talk to her tonight. Nothing much, just be friendly to her.”

“You think that would calm the King?”

“I hope so.” He stopped in his tracks, waiting until she caught up with him: “If you are uncomfortable with any of thi-”

“No, I'm fine.”, she assured him. “I am here to help.”

“You're a good girl, Lindsay.”

“That's one of the first things you ever said to me.”

“Is it?”

“It sure is. Right afterwards you whispered that I kicked ass.”, laughing at the memory, she gladly took his offered arm. “Kinda hard to forget when it's the King telling you that.”

“Damn, that sure was long ago.”, Geoff muttered, leading her through the halls. “You've grown up.”

“You sound old when you say it like that.”

“Maybe I am.”

She hummed amused at that as guards opened the doors to the room in front of him. Not too big but comfortable with couches to sit on and a bright fire to keep the coldness outside.

“Ah, Geoffrey! Sit down, sit down!” Ingrar pointed across the desk and with a soft brush against Lindsays hand, he let himself fall into the cushions while she positioned herself behind him.

“I brought the best wine in the kingdom, I'm sure you will like it!”

“That's the best news I heard today, your Highness!”

“Didn't we agree on our first name all those years ago?”

“We did. But now you are a King and I am just a simple man.”, Geoff assured him, reaching for the goblet on the table.

“Bonds know no titles, my friend.” That was bullshit and both of them knew it.

“I am glad you see it like that, Ingrar.” The wine was deep red, a color Ray would adore if he didn't despise alcohol, the smell promised that it was strong. The king hoped that getting him drunk would let him make a mistake. Foolish.

He took a sip to cover his smile, letting his eyes first travel over the king before he observed Claudia. She sat beside her father, knees together, hands in her lap and her legs slightly angled so that only the tip of her shoes touched the carpet.

The perfect little doll.

Only her eyes gave her away, moving to Lindsay every now and then.

“So, Geoffrey.” Putting his own goblet to rest between his hands, Ingrar took the word: “How was your journey? And be honest with me!”

Geoff shrugged a bit: “What you expect; long and uncomfortable. I'm getting too old for long travels in this tiny carriages.”

“A true word!”

“But I have to admit; it was exciting! We had an encounter with an enderman!”

There was a shadow in the kings face: “Is that so?”

“Yes! I've never seen one this close before!”, shivering slightly, he pointed at Lindsay behind him. “She told me about them before but I never imagined them that scary!”

“They sure are.”, Ingrar admitted slowly, his eyes now resting on the guardian. “You've seen one before and made it out alive, girl?”

“I killed one at the age of seventeen, your Highness. I now wear its skin as armor.”, she explained and again Geoff was forced to hide a smirk at her casual tone.

“Impressive. Claudia?”

The princess flinched slightly, ripping her gaze from Lindsay: “Yes, father?”

“It's late and tomorrow will be an eventful day.”, he simply remarked. Nodding, she stood up and Geoff quickly threw her a smile: “If you allow, my lady, I'd like to sent Lindsay with you. It's too late and too dark to travel these scary halls alone after such an unpleasant topic.”

“That's very kind of you, Lord Ramsey.” She gave her father a small kiss on his cheek before she dropped into a curtsy: “I wish a goodnight.”

Ingrars eyes followed both of them and Geoff waited patiently until the door fell shut, taking another sip of the wine. Now the real fight began.

“Can I be honest with you?”, the King asked carefully.

“We are under friends like you said yourself, no lies needed.”

“The endermen are aggressive. Getting so more and more in the past months.”, he admitted.

“That's what I expected. I traveled through this country multiple times but I never had problems with them. One of them attacked our carriages.”

“That's the news I hear more and more from travelers. We barely had any problems before.”

“Listen Ingrar.” He leaned forward as if he was telling a secret and not a lie: “I hate to ask this and you don't have to answer, seeing as I am not the King anymore. But I am sure you understand that caring for a kingdom doesn't stop just because of a title.” The other nodded and Geoff smiled gladly: “There were six reports of endermen in the past months. Six! I know this is normal around here bu-”

“But it's unusual in your country.”

“It is. We had years were we had less sightings and I really hate to ask this but I would hate myself more if I didn't do it.”, sighing Geoff let his gaze drop. “I know the rumors about this portal in your kingdom, just like you know the rumors about the Nether portal.”

“So this portal actually exists?”, the king asked eagerly.

“I can count on the fact that we are allies and my secret is safe with you?”

“Always, my friend!”

Geoff nearly rolled his eyes: “We have a portal, yes. But you can't step through it! It's so strange! Like it isn't even there but it is!”

“The world is surely full of mysteries.”, Ingrar mumbled, obviously disappointed. Taking a huge gulp of his wine before he continued: “We also have a portal and you can step trough it but no one came back to tell the tale. But I assure you it is guarded and secure. Nobody can step into these halls without my knowledge and I myself have already visited this place. No changes; the portal is not the reason.”

“Thank you for your honesty, I already feel better.”

“I would like to talk about something else though and I hope we can be as honest and open as we were just now.”

Nodding, Geoff nipped from his goblet. Considering that it would be about the terrifying rumors that their kingdom had spread in the past year, he was sure he was going to be as honest as he had been with the Nether.

“It's about your new King and him carrying your name. Can I trust him? But more than anything I want to know if I can entrust my daughter to him.”, the old eyes of Ingrar showed honesty in its purest form. The worry about a loved one.

Suddenly the wine felt thick on his tongue, too spiced to swallow it down without choking. He didn't want to talk about Gavin. He didn't want to ask himself if he could trust him because he knew all the answers. He knew all the answers considering his boy besides this one.

Putting the goblet down, he decided that for his last question Ingrar deserved the truth.

“Gavin is a good boy.”, Geoff said slowly. “He's young and he has a lot to learn but he is in good hands. And I swear; he would never hurt Claudia.”

“I am relieved, thank you.” And he actually looked like it: “I am sorry for these personal questions but please understand; I am a King but I am also a father. My daughter is everything to me.”

“I do understand.”

“Do you?”, Ingrar asked, his tone sharp. “With all due respect; you may have known the new King for most of his life but that doesn't make you his father. You weren't with him for his first step or have seen his first smile. I bet you don't even know his first word! These things are burned into my memory, unlike yours.”

There was a bitter taste on Geoffs tongue he tried not to show. It was the same argument over and over again and he never fought against it. Parents never understood that he had his own version of those moments. He clearly recalled Gavins first words to him, he could remember every first smile. The polite ones, the forced ones after he had realized it made Geoff happy, the little, hidden ones he had always adored when he caught a glimpse of them, the rare pure ones.

The first honest smile that had lit up the green eyes. He remembered thinking that they had to make sure that they never grew that dark again. He remembered that Jack actually said those words. Quiet; like an oath.

And of course the ones that were like a beam, making Gavin jump up and down and stumble over his own words because he was so excited.

As for first steps?

They had a lot of these too. The first night Gavin had slept through, the first time he ate a full meal without getting sick by it. First time losing a fight, first time winning a fight, first time hitting that target with the bow.

The first and only time he stood in front of them, cheeks red and eyes so bright like the sun was burning in them. First time saying: “I think I found friends. One of them is really wild and swears when we are alone and the other is a bit quiet and shy. I really like them.”

The first time he had seen the crown on his head like he had dreamed, feeling sick in his stomach because of it.

The first time that arrow didn't hit the target but hit him in the chest, burning a scar into this newly granted body.

Parents never understood.

“I guess you are right.”, Geoff said instead, smiling politely. “Still I care about him.”

“Of course you do!” It sounded dismissive. Sure you do but he will never be your _son_. “Knowing he grew up under your hand I am expecting great things from him.”

“Me as well.” He had to change the topic. Ingrar had the upper hand and he had to avoid that at all cost. Still his tongue was too heavy to move in time.

“Is that... true?”, the King asked, the ill-intent barely hidden. “There were such strange rumors, Geoffrey. About you and King Ramsey. You trying to overthrow him, even _kill_ him.”

At least a question he had prepared for: “Let me ask you something. Do you think you could just step down and hand your throne to the Princess?”

“Well, as for now; no. I might be getting old but she is way too young to rule – she doesn't have the experience! But that doesn't mean I'd attack her! I would never ha-”

“It was simply a test, my old friend.”, Geoff smirked. “I tested Gavin. Many may say I went too far but as you said before: I am not his father. I am for most part the King of the country and as for that I had to see if he was ready.”

“A... test?”

Shrugging, Geoff added: “And he passed, didn't he? You should be aware of him.”

 

Lindsay walked next to the princess, concentrating to keep up with her. It was clear that she was used to walk in these shoes while the guardian felt like she had no solid ground beneath her feet.

It didn't take long until they left the knights behind that Claudia took a huge breath: “Did you really kill an enderman?”

“I did.”

She spun around, looking up to Lindsay with the same green eyes Gavin possessed. Just brighter, bare any scars. “That is amazing! And you are allowed to wear the armor?”

“Of course, why wouldn't I?”

“You see, Miss...”, the princess stopped in her tracks, searching for the missing last name.

“Lindsay is enough, your Highness.”

“Then Claudia also.”

“Are you sure?”

“I insist!”

“So be it.”; Lindsay chuckled. She liked the girl way more now that they were alone. Before, she had reminded her of a soulless doll, just waiting for her fathers commands.

“Anyway. In Werringtal it was a tradition to sent unruly boys into the woods.”, the princess continued. “They were only accepted back into society if they managed to kill an enderman and bring its skin back for prove. If they didn't they would never reach the status of men and be a simple outcast, never allowed to start a family! But many men liked the challenge and took the risk on themselves to return as heroes! For a few years women weren't even allowed to fight against endermen in case of danger because they would take that title away!”

Lindsay frowned as if she had bit on something bitter: “I apologize if I am rude, Claudia but I do believe that is a very stupid thing to do.”

“I think so as well.”, the princess agreed. “But that was way before the time of my father and now it's merely a legend, an old tale to tell children.”

They reached Claudias chamber and the guardian quickly held it open to her, stepping in behind her and quickly got an overlook. It was easy.

The room was clean, a big bed, a high shelf with books, a desk with a huge mirror. And another desk, the only thing that was untidy, showing a bit of character.

“You draw?”, Lindsay asked curious, noticing the littered sketches.

“When I find time.”, she smiled proudly. “I am not really good but it's a lot of fun.” She stepped in front of the woman to block the clear view, probably because she was a bit shy about them: “Lindsay, can I ask something? I hope you won't get mad at me.”

“I'm sure I won't.”

“You will also attend the ball tomorrow, right? As Lord Geoffreys guardian?”

“Of course.”

“Would you mind... I mean, you didn't bring any maiden with you... so maybe come over before the ball starts?”

A bit surprised, Lindsay looked down at the smaller girl. She could very well tell what this was about. Claudia probably wanted to dress her up like a doll. Standing there on display and be watched was something she wanted to avoid at all cost. If she could she would wear her armor tomorrow.

But for the briefest of seconds she thought about the look Michael would throw her and her cheeks heated up. Foolish!

“I'd love to.”, she said instead. Because Geoff wanted her to become close with the princess. So she was going to become her best friend if she had to.

 

Michael saved himself the trouble to knock and simply walked into the kings chamber, finding both of his friends discussing.

The king himself was sitting on the floor, covered in clothes, trying to untangle them as he threw him a quick look: “Hey Michael.”

“What's the fuss about?”

“Ray packed my stuff at home.”, he explained, handing a folded coat to the knight who put it into the closet. “And I really think he packed everything. Literally. I wouldn't be surprised if I'd found your golden boots in here.”

“Jack said you need as much clothing as possible and for every occasion!”, Ray defended himself. “So I took everything!”

“Couldn't you at least fold it? It's all messed up now!”

“I'm not your maid!”

“I wanted to call a maid to do it!”

“Oh please! She would have done it wrong!”

“Wrong?”, Gavin threw a pair of pants, hitting him in the back of the head. “I didn't even know you could do that wrong until I opened my bag!”

“Yeah, well... I'm glad we could share this experience?”

“Oh, shut your mouth!”, Gavin snapped before throwing a disbelieving look to the warrior. Michael simply shrugged, before stepping over the pile of clothes and dropped onto the bed: “It's my shift now, Ray. You can go if you want to.”

“Hey!”, Gavin peeped up. “I am not a puppy you just pass around!”

“Your words, not mine.”

Huffing, the king rolled his eyes: “Also I really want to share this _experience_ with Ray, so he should stay!”

“Always glad to bond.”, the knight mumbled, making Michael snort.

They worked some more in comfortable silence until they cleaned up the mess.

“Tomorrow right after breakfast?”, Ray asked and the king nodded.

“Exactly. Good night, Ray.”

“Good night, both of you.”

Michael gave him a quick wave as the knight left before asking: “What's tomorrow after breakfast?”

“Meeting with King Ingrar.” Gavin pointed to the letter on the desk: “A trip through the city, nothing much.”

“He probably wants to show off.”, the warrior mumbled, reading while his friend flopped into the bed. “Yeah, that will be it.”

“I don't like Ingrar.”

“We don't have the privilege to think like that, Michael.”

“You don't. I can think whatever I want.”

“Lucky you.”, the king mumbled tiredly, exhausted from the short night and the long day.

The warrior threw him a comforting smile: “I think you did good today.”

“That's debatable.”, but he returned the gesture. “Thank you though.”

“So, a ball?” Michael threw the letter back on the table, feeling a bit nervous about his new idea: “You will dance with the Princess I guess?”

A groan was his answer and he couldn't help but smirk: “You can dance, can you?”

“Of course. Please don't forget that I was the Prince Regent. I also know which knife goes with which dish. I rarely use any of those skills.”

“I noticed.” He watched his friend lie on the bed, obviously tired and in need of a good rest. Thinking about his request already made him feel guilty but Ryans words were still clear in his mind: “Gavin?”

“Mh?”

“Can you teach me how to dance?”

The head of the other shot up, staring at him in shock: “What?”

“I want to know how to dance. Is that weird?”

“For you? Yes!” But he sat up, his features going soft at the tense look of the warrior: “You know Lindsay probably won't have time to dance with you.”

Michael could feel his face flush, averting his eyes but decided to be honest. As if it wasn't obvious already: “What if... but what if she does ask? Dancing is a thing... that people do, right?”

“People that plan to court each other?”

A single nod and Gavin felt himself smile, happy for his friend: “You really do like her!”

“She's kinda cool.”, Michael mumbled lowly, now playing with his fingers to occupy them. “And really strong, too.”

“Don't forget how pretty she is!”

“How could I?”, he groaned like he was in pain, blushing furiously. “I really... I really like her eyes, you know? They are really sparkly and her hair is so soft! It has this nice color and-” The rest of his confession turned into a quiet mumble that Gavin couldn't quite catch anymore but the grin wouldn't leave his face. He couldn't recall seeing Michael even once in his life this flustered and it was amusing but also warming his heart.

At least something new and honest in their life.

Jumping from his bed, he grabbed his friend and pulled him close, guiding his hand to his hip: “Let's see if you are really a fast learner like everyone said!”

“Thank you, Gav.”

“No groping.”

“Fuck you.”

 

 

_Been walking, you've been hiding,_   
_And you look half dead half the time._   
_Monitoring you, like machines do,_   
_You've still got it, I'm just keeping an eye_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be something special that was requested quite a lot from you guys! Unfortunately it will also be later than normally because the next week will be a terrible busy one for me, so I plan to update in the middle of the week after. But fear not; after that I will finally have holidays and should be back up to my normal shedule!  
> The song is Headlock by Imogen Heap!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guardian pondered about that for a moment until she sighed: “I was just wondering... Geoff, what is Gavin to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for this chapter but last week was terrible busy for me! I'm glad you all understood and now I am here to serve you a chapter about a topic that was probably the most requested thing! It won't answer all question but hopefully a lot!  
> I'm so nervous about what you guys think; so let me know!

Chapter 8

 

_No more dreaming of the dead_

_as if death itself was undone_   
_No more calling like a crow for a boy,_

_for a body in the garden_

 

When Lindsay arrived back in the little lounge, she assured King Ingrar that his daughter was safe and sound in her room. Getting a quick thanks, she took her place behind Geoff, staying quiet as she watched the battle unfold in front of her.

She had expected Geoff to easily have the upper hand and it seemed like that for the most part but every time he appeared to make some progress in carefully getting some information, Ingrar shifted the topic. He did it slow and smooth, no effort needed as he was a careful talker.

So they came back to Gavin and she felt Geoff tense, responding with the tiniest of hesitation before he managed to loop back to different topics. It was a fascinating dance she was watching, two true masters of speech and mazed sentences, chose all those pretty words to probe and tease each other.

When finally the king called it a night and both of them were walking through the quiet hallways, Geoffs shoulders sacked and he sighed tiredly. The woman threw him a hopefully comforting look before getting occupied in her own head again.

She had always been at a disadvantage in their strange little group, so confused by their mindless banter that could turn into such a heavy mood with one wrong word. Their little broken dynamics which let them look like gears who fitted perfectly into each other but had some parts missing and others bend and bruised beyond repair, nearly letting everything collapse.

Sometimes Jack told stories but they were always happy, full of the light she sometimes caught glimpses of. Michael told her some as well but they were darker, like a nightmare. In his tales she could barely recognize Geoff and Jack.

And right now it had confused her again, the strain when Geoff talked about the new king, the hesitation, the empty look in his eyes.

She didn't recognize this behavior from the man.

“You seem terribly lost right now.”

Flinching, she resurfaced: “I am sorry, that was rude.”

The first king ignored it: “You took some time bringing Claudia to her room. You talked to her?”

“Yes. Nothing of value or importance, though.”

“That doesn't matter. You did amazing, thank you!”

She blushed a bit at the praise, adding quickly: “She wants to see me before the festival tomorrow. Is that alright?”

“Of course!” Geoffs eyes actually sparkled: “That's better than what I could have imagined! I'm so glad you came around! No way any of the others could have done that! If you want to, you can have tomorrow evening free? Dance and enjoy yourself, you are still young!”

“Please not.”, she chuckled. “I am not made for parties like that. Also I don't even know how to dance.”

“A waste!”

Laughing, she let the topic fall as they entered the hallway to their rooms.

“So what was clouding your mind?”, Geoff asked almost absentmindedly but she knew he had joked with her to make her relax.

“It's really nothing...”

“Lindsay.”

“And something personal that is none of my business.”

Raising his eyebrows, he watched her intently: “I trust you. So if you have a question feel free to ask. If I can't answer you there will be a reason and I will let you know. But keeping it to yourself won't help anyone.”

The guardian pondered about that for a moment until she sighed: “I was just wondering... Geoff, what is Gavin to you?”

An expression crossed his face. It was cold and sharp as steel but also warm like home, a twisted expression that parted his eyes and his soul. It seemed to hurt and she already wanted to apologize and pretend she never asked, when he answered: “Gavin is a dearly beloved person to me.”

The words were true and full of sorrow, trembling through his body like a secret he hated to carry. A secret he forced on himself.

Turning around, he passed his own door: “Come with me. You deserve to know but I am only good at telling lies. Jack is the truth. He always has been.”

Lindsay hesitated before she followed him into the room of the blacksmith. A fluttering nervousness in her stomach at what laid ahead.

Jack wasn't surprised to see them, he greeted her with a smile before looking at the first king without a word, waiting for a confirmation of which theory in his head was right.

“Lindsay would like to know about Gavin.”, Geoff said and his mirror nodded slowly.

“I figured that would come up eventually.”, he pointed to his bed. “Sit down. It's a long and sad story.”

“You don't have t-”, she tried to reason but he simply shook his head.

“It's alright. Geoff? Can you fill in some spots?”

“Sure.”, he agreed with some hesitation.

 

 

~+~

The carriage slowed down and stopped when the horses refused to move past the last layer of trees. That was fine, it wasn't that much further.

Jack jumped out, holding the door open for the king and followed him close behind. There was an unusual silence between them which came from this place. None of them had ever been here before and it was an open secret that nobody really wanted to come here in the first place. Still when Geoff had heard the news there was no way to stop him.

A survivor of the Nether.

It had been his mother who had sent a guardian to the portal. One kind and strong enough to survive the misery of this place but also someone she could trust would inform her. Because the queen had yearned for the wisdom of the Nether until her dying day.

And now the new, much younger king had something he could finally surpass her in.

Moving fast, they reached the clearing within minutes, the guardian walking up to them: “Long live the King!”

“Thank you, Lewis.”, Geoff replied. He had made sure to remember his name. He had made sure to remember each and every name in his castle, that was to be expected from a Ramsey.

“Where is he?”

“Down here. I was forced to separate him from the other people here.”

“Why is that?”

Lewis shook his head sadly: “People who carry both despair and hope in their heart are dangerous and strange creatures. Some want to hurt him because he is not the one they are waiting for, some just act like he is the one they are waiting for. He was nearly kidnapped by a man. Most of the time they scare him and he scares them. It's simply easier that way.”

He guided them through some rows of trees until he stopped again, speaking quietly: “I apologize for my weakness, my King but I simply don't know what to do with him. He barely talks and when he does it is usually the same words over and over again. He needs someone around him all the time but refuses to acknowledge them. He doesn't eat, he barely drinks and when he finally falls asleep, he wakes up because of the worst nightmares.” A shiver went through the grown up man: “I have never heard something like that before. Even in a place like this. Such a terrified scream shouldn't exist at all! The boy is growing weaker by the day but what he has left of his strength goes into his lungs. It's such a terrible noise.”

“God alone knows what this kid had to endure.”, Geoff mumbled.

“It surely showed me that nothing good can ever come out of this portal.”, the voice of the guardian was bitter. “This boy is insane. I am sorry but that is the only word I can find for him.”

“Please let me see him.”

“As you wish.” Lewis pointed ahead, not moving: “He is sleeping right now but that won't take long. Approach him carefully, he gets scared easily. If it's alright with you I'd like to wait here.”

The king simply nodded as he moved past the man. Lewis was a good man, he knew that. Otherwise his mother wouldn't have chosen him to stay here. And whatever made him like this had to be something twisted, so he moved cautiously through the grass, reassured by Jacks steady steps next to him.

They found something small and shaking, wrapped in multiple blankets under a tree. Only a mess of dark blonde hair looked out of the cocoon and carefully Geoff crouched down, pulling the first layer away.

The boy shot into a sitting position, big green eyes staring at the king as if he was the devil himself, going after his soul. Then they wandered to Jack and he cowered even more, pressing his back against the tree.

“Hey buddy.”, Geoff murmured softly and the boy looked at him again. _He was so small_. So small and innocent and scared. Like a helpless animal that had been backed into a corner with no hope of escaping.

“How are you doing?” That was a stupid question. The skin of the boy was dirty but beyond that pale, littered with brightly colored scratches and bruises. Weren't survivors suppose to be granted a new body? How was this kid already in this state?

Geoff grew angry just thinking about it.

He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice as he figured he wasn't going to get an answer: “What's your name?”

Slowly, the boy shook his head. He was thin, only broken skin and bones. It made his fearful eyes stand out so much more.

“Guess it's rude to not introduce ourselves first.”, Geoff continued with a light voice. “I am Geoffrey, but you can call me Geoff. The giant next to me is Jack and he claims to have the greatest beard in the world but I think that's rubbish. What about you?”

The eyes flickered to Jack before casting back to him. The boy swallowed, licking his lips.

“Are you thirsty? We have some wa-”

“Are you the King?” His voice was hoarse because he barely used it anymore.

“Yeah, that would be me.”

He carefully bowed his head: “Long live King Geoffrey.” So he did listen. He did listen, he did understand and was able to reply. Good.

“Geoff, remember?”

“Long live King Geoff.”, he corrected himself quickly.

“And your name is?”

Opening his mouth, it fell shut before his eyes filled with tears: “I fear I don't know it anymore, my liege. I am very sorry!”

“That's alright.”, Geoff assured him fast, wanting to avoid making him cry at all cost. He tried to reach out and touch him. He looked so small and confused and absolutely helpless that it was mere instinct. The boy flinched, his head hitting the tree in his attempt to get away from the hand as he hid his face: “Don't!”

And the king stopped, feeling rage bubble in his chest because a child shouldn't be scared of a comforting gesture and a child shouldn't fear a simple touch and most of all a child should only carry bruises because of mindless playing.

He wanted to tell the boy just that but his voice was quivering and he rather took some calming breaths, because in that state he was sure the kid would think he was mad at him. And he wasn't. That was the last thing on his mind right now.

“Go.”, Jack mumbled and of course he was right. If he couldn't control himself, he shouldn't show it here. So he stood up, mumbling quickly: “I'll be right back.”

His counselor watched him retreat his steps until he disappeared behind some trees before he turned back around. The child was sniffing a bit but he wasn't hiding anymore. His eyes observed him, showing a bit of curiosity. It was still a strange sight, because beside that little spark they were incredibly dark, only sorrow and fear and exhaustion. The eyes only an old man should possess, who had seen way more sadness than he had ever hoped to see.

But that was probably the case for the child as well.

“I think your beard is pretty great.” Those words were the first he ever said to him and it made Jack smile: “Thank you.”

 

Lewis was waiting for him and the king started right away: “How can a child be in this condition after only a few days!”

“My K-”

“He's covered in bruises and scratches!”

“I tol-”

“What is a kingdom worth if it is not in a condition to protect a child! I will not allow a behavior like that, Lewis!”

“King Ramsey, I am not proud of what happened bu-”

“Well me neither! You were sent here for a purpose and if you can-”

“With all my respect towards you.”, the guardian interrupted him fiercely. “He stumbled out of the portal one evening and ten people went for him, trying to either hurt or take him! I did the best I could, my liege! I swear! But those people were like animals and I couldn't just hurt them! I am only a single man!”

“You are trained for situations like this! It's your damn job!”

“Of course it is! I stay with the boy at all times, I don't leave him out of my sight but those people are desperate! They are insane and no matter how good I want to hide him, they simply follow those damn screams! I assure you I was not trained for this!” Breathing heavily, he seemed to realize who he raised his voice against. His shoulders slumped and he shook his head tiredly: “I am sorry for what happened. I am ashamed of the fact that I couldn't protect this boy who is already so broken but please understand. I am only one man. This is no place for a child. I beg you, take him with you. I don't know where you put him or what you do with him but I can't and won't guarantee for his safety here anymore.”

Turning around without another word, Geoff stormed back towards the others, furious about simply everything and he knew he should calm down. He knew making such a fierce approach was going to scare the boy but the faster they got him out of here the better.

If it was for him, he would punish each and every person who had laid hands on him. But how do you punish someone who has already lost everything?

In this place here rested no human, only phantoms and faint ghosts.

The sight greeting him made him stop in his way.

Jack sat next to the child, talking about something and the boy was listening, hanging on his lips. The eyes big and round in awe.

And Geoff smiled because he was once again reminded that he would be nothing without this man. That Jack was gentle and wise, quite the opposite of him and he had known that this man was his mirror since years, long before he had taken the crown. It were scenes like this that reminded him of that.

Calmed down, he slowly neared both of them and the child shrank a bit in fear.

“We will take him back to the castle.”, the king declared.

Jack simply looked up to him. No surprise, just a mild mocking expression as if he had been expecting that decision long before Geoff had the idea.

Sometimes he didn't want to think about that.

“Is that alright with you, buddy?”, he addressed the kid instead. “We'll take you with us and there you'll be safe.”

“I'll go away from here?”

“Exactly. To a better place.”

He thought about it. Long and hard and then he slowly shook his head: “I think I should stay here. I think I am suppose to wait for someone.” Looking around, he seemed to take in the forest for the first time: “But I think I already moved. I think I've done something bad.”

His eyes first found Geoff and then Jack and finally they filled with tears. “I'm sorry.”, he whimpered. “I am so sorry! I wanted to be good! I really tried! I am so sorry!”

Geoff couldn't move, only stare. Pain and pity gripping at his chest, making it hard to breath. He needed to make it better. Somehow.

“Who are you waiting for?”, Jack asked gently. His hand moving like he wanted to touch before it fell back down.

The child sniffled before his whole face writhed in guilt: “I don't know anymore. I'm sorry, I think I am dumb!” His tiny hands balled to tiny fists and he crashed them against his head over and over again: “I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I was stupid! I'll be good, I'll be good now, I promise!” A terrible sob shook his body as he begged with a broken voice: “Please don't leave me alone!”

Geoff was sure he had never seen something so twisted in his life.

 

The boy fell asleep in the carriage and that was when his counselor pointed out that Geoff hadn't once stopped trembling. It did only stop when Jack also put a blanket around him, assuring him that they did the right thing. That right now they were making a difference.

It was two hours later when the king was dozing that the screams woke him. By the time it took him to orientate himself and understand what was happening, Jack already tried to shush the boy down but he was fighting like a mad man. Kicking, biting and nails that left bloody marks on the big arms holding him. Rolling eyes and a mouth that shouted nonsense words until he went limp again.

Gaze into the distance and a heaving chest.

Realizing he hadn't moved a muscle, Geoff let the breath out he had been holding, feeling the shaking begin again.

Jack quietly reminded him of the blanket before he wrapped the boy in one as well, pulling him close to share a bit of his warmth.

Later, when the child had been fully awake, he had moved away quickly. Sitting quietly as he looked out of the window, apparently no memories about it.

But something had changed. The next time when Geoff noticed how heavy the eyes of the boy were becoming and he was nearly asleep, he crawled across the seats.

Jack barely looked up from his book but didn't move in any other way as the child climbed on his back, curling up between him and the cushion, falling asleep immediately.

 

 

~+~

Geoff was finally working quietly and Jack took a moment for himself. The boy was in the room as well. He always was. They had brought him here nearly two weeks ago and he had quickly gotten used to the castle.

It was still weird. Sometimes the green eyes would unfocus and stay like that until someone called him and by now he hadn't slept through a full night. A maid was positioned in front of his room but she couldn't seem to calm him back down. More than once the boy had landed in the kings chamber.

Not that Geoff minded. He was fond of the boy, had been before they even reached the city. Probably because he had finally found someone who would listen to his dumb stories. And that the boy did. With open mouth and wide eyes, jumping up and down if the king made a dramatic break.

And somehow that had ended in that he, Jack himself was forced to teach the boy the most basic things. Not that he hadn't tried to refuse, he was a counselor, not a teacher for a mere child but Geoff had just snorted at him. And to be fair it wasn't that much of a difference as he watched both of them.

Buddy, as they called him for the lack of a name was sitting at the desk, a feather in his hand and drew with a concentrated expression, the last remaining of his front teeth sticking out. Geoff was sitting on his throne, scratching his chin with the back of his feather and chewing on his bottom lip. Damn, even the boy got more work done than the king!

He wanted to point that out when the boy looked up and searched his eyes: “Jack?”

“What is it, Buddy?”

He hesitated, squirming around nervously: “Can I show you something?”

The counselor nodded, knowing the boy was still a bit unsure because he had told him yesterday that he and the king couldn't look after him all day. But now he smiled his nearly teeth less smile, took the paper and walked carefully towards him. Step after step because the ink wasn't dry yet.

“Is it right?”, he asked, standing on his tiptoes to watch as Jack took the paper. It was a picture of birds, he could tell that much. The wings were detailed; feathers littered them but inside them were strange lines he couldn't recognize. Deciding not to ask about that, he checked the shakily drawn letters spelling his name.

“It is! Very good!”, he praised and the boy beamed at him. Jack had began teaching him how to write a few days ago, figuring out that he knew at least some of it or was just an incredibly fast learner.

“It's for you!”, the boy declared, clapping once.

“Thank you. That's really nice of you.”

“Hey, buddy!”, Geoff interrupted them. “Why does he get a picture and I don't?”

Gasping, the child stared at him with wide eyes. Blushing deep red, he stuttered: “I am sorry, Geoff! I'll draw one for you, too!”

“It better be twice as good!”

“Yes!” Hurrying back to the desk, he pulled a new sheet of paper from the stack and began to scribble furiously. Chuckling, the king also looked back at his reports and that gave Jack the freedom to check on the picture some more. Now the strange lines in the feathers could be flames. On the other hand it could be nearly anything and the mind of the child was messed up anyway, so finding sense in it might be futile. But there was something that made him stop before he looked up: “Gavin?”

“Mh?”, came the answer as the boy scribbled on, his tongue sticking through the gap in his teeth. Geoff threw his counselor a confused look and Jack called again: “Gavin.”

“What?” The green eyes found him, asking if he had done something wrong. They then traveled to the picture, getting dark and cold: “You don't like it?”

“You wrote 'For Jack, from Gavin' on it.”

The boy nodded, his head crooked to the side as he didn't understand what was going on.

“Buddy...”, Geoff mumbled. “Buddy, is Gavin your name?”

His eyes lit up: “Is it?” He was on his feet, his short legs carrying him to Jack as fast as they could and he stared at the paper as if he had never seen it before. Small fingers trailed the messy letters. “Ga-vin.”, he read slowly before repeating the name over and over again. Jack threw a look towards the king but didn't get one in return. Geoffs eyes were glued to the boy who now fell silent.

The little face contorted in pain, tears filling the big eyes as he gasped for breath.

“Buddy?”

Shaking his head, the child fell to its knees, holding his temples in obvious pain. Jack was next to him in an instant and the small hands reached for him in panic. “I'm sorry!”, the boy blurted out, starting to sob violently. “I am sorry! I'll be good now! Please... please don't leave me alone!”

The same words as last night. The same words as every night. The same words as always.

Shushing him down, the counselor pulled him up with ease, letting him cry against his chest as he threw Geoff a look. This time the king returned it, worried and unsure.

Whatever had happened to the boy it had left something twisted and broken inside of him. Jack wasn't sure they could mend it.

 

“So is Gavin alright with you?”, Geoff asked and got a nod in return. It was the next day and the child had calmed down, happy to get away from the simple math-exercises Jack had given him.

“But I also like Buddy, so I am not sure.”, he explained.

“Buddy could be your nickname.”, Jack offered, pointing to the next number.

“What's a nickname?”

“It's a form of your name friends call you.”, the counselor explained. “Everyone would call you Gavin but only we would call you Buddy.”

“Are the other people not allowed to call me that?”

“You can allow them.”

Thinking about it, his eyes lit up: “Is that why some people call Geoff Geoffrey?”

“Exactly!”

“But he also dislikes Geoffrey because it sounds old.”, Jack whispered into his ear and the child giggled because of Geoffs pout and the beard that was tickling his cheek.

 

 

~+~

To say he was nervous was an underestimation. It was their first trip with Gavin. Not far, just to another city to witness a small contest. Recruiters of every age fighting against each other, leaving only one winner in each class who was given the honor to meet the king himself.

To leave the boy alone was out of question but the large crowd in the arena would be too much. So they left him in Geoffs private chamber, each of them asking for a picture he should draw. And the boy complied happily, scribbling eagerly before they even left.

They had promised to come back soon and he had promised to be good.

The youngest contestants were in Gavins age even and as the first rounds were slow and bumpy, Jack pointed towards someone who had caught his eye. A little girl, her hair in two pig-tails as she wielded the practice-lance, blowing her opponent from his feet. Female warriors were allowed since long before Geoff had been king but it was unusual to see one at this age.

And as always his counselor was right with his judgment and the girl won without a problem. They sat through the other rounds and in the end when everything was done, they waited in a room in the back for the winners. It were six boys and the girl and even though Geoff shouldn't pick a favorite, he couldn't help but keep an eye on her while Jack took charge of explaining what a bright future all of them had and that the kingdom was glad to have them.

“You're a good girl.”, he told her as he kneeled down to give her a small medal. Leaning forward, he whispered into her ear: “You really kicked their ass!”

And she beamed at him, her eyes big and green, full of light as she thanked him. He wanted to make sure that Gavin was able to smile as honest as she did on that day.

So when he found a moment for Jack to cover him, he hurried back to his room. He wanted to look after the boy and now that it had calmed down, maybe he even wanted to join them.

He found Gavin on the floor, next to the chair they had left him in. He laid in ink he had used to draw his picture with, curled together and with wet pants.

Geoff froze for a solid minute until a shaking breath left his lips and he was on his knees next to him. “Buddy! Are you alright?” Turning the child around, his eyes rolled so that only the white was seen, only spit and tears and ink on his face.

Shaking him in his panic, the king called out to him: “Gavin? Gavin, wake up!”

He lifted the nearly weightless body from the ground and the desk caught his eye. The neatly drawn pictures were scribbled over and a third page was littered with words and sentences.

_You are alone. They left you here. You were a bad boy. Liar! You are alone. Bad boys deserve to be punished. You didn't wait. Liar! You are alone. They don't want you._

Gavins letters were still shaking lines, written with great concentration.

Only the word liar looked like this.

The others weren't written by him.

Holding him close, Geoff looked around the room but there was no one. There were guards in the hallway and they would've noticed an intruder.

“What happened?”, he mumbled to no one in hope to still receive an answer. Of course it didn't happen.

With shaking limps, he gently laid the boy on the bed, brushing hair out of the still opened eyes. “Buddy? Buddy can you hear me?”

No reaction and he didn't know what to do. Jack was good with the boy. Jack was calm and was good to help him settle in. But Jack wasn't here and he wasn't Jack and he was only good for stupid stories and little shenanigans. Not for this.

And then he thought that the boy wasn't even breathing anymore and maybe he was already dead and back in this place. Back in the Nether and Geoff noticed that he was crying.

His hand wiping over the little face that should only smile and just wouldn't do it and he had let him die. He had left him alone and now he was dead and back in this terrible place! And what was a kingdom worth which couldn't protect his own children? What was a king worth who couldn't protect his own child?

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe just like Gavin and maybe he should check if that was even true, maybe he couldn't think straight but all that he did was beg: “Don't leave. Please wake up! Please don't leave, Buddy!”

“But you've been good.” It was a question and it was a weak one. Gavin looked at him with heavy lids and the king laughed desperately at that. “Only bad people get left behind.”, the child explained as if it was something Geoff should already know.

“You are crying, Geoff.” Small fingers wiped the tears away that still wouldn't stop: “Kings don't cry.” Fathers did.

So he pulled the child back into his arms and he wouldn't let go. Gavin simply laid there, exhausted from whatever had happened.

“I'm so glad.”, Geoff whimpered. “I'm so glad, please don't do that again. God, don't do that again. I won't leave you alone ever again, I'll keep you save, little one. I didn't think you would answer. I thought I had lost you!”

“Sorry.”, Gavin mumbled tiredly. “Sorry I couldn't hear you over the voices.” Shifting closer he sighed like only an old man should do: “The voices were really loud and really mean today. I'm sorry.”

 

 

~+~

“I don't understand it.”, Gavin admitted, staring at the two men.

“Are some of the exercises too hard?”, Jack asked a bit surprised. By now he had learned fast and with barely any problems.

The boy shook his head: “No, I meant you. I heard people talk about it and sometimes Geoff says you are his mirror.” Confused, he looked back and forth between both of them: “But you guys look nothing alike. I don't understand it!”

“It has nothing to do with our appearance, Buddy. It's a bit more complicated.”

The green eyes didn't leave them, asking for an explanation and in the end it was Geoff who gave in: “You know the little hand mirror in my bathroom? If you bring it here without tripping I'll explain it to you.”

“Alright!”, running off, it took a while until he returned, carrying the mirror with cautious steps. Pulling the child into his lap, Geoff took the mirror in his hand and shifted it slightly: “Can you see me?”

“Yeah.”

“I can see you, too.”

Gavin waved at him through the mirror and the king winked, making him smile brightly.

“But you can't see yourself, right?”

“Nope! Just you!”

“So if I told you that there is chocolate on your chin..?”

The boy gasped and started to rub at his face until the stain was gone. “So you tell Jack when he has food on his face?”, he asked disappointed.

“Well for the most part.”, Geoff chuckled. “But I tell him what he can't see himself. You wouldn't have known about the chocolate if I hadn't told you, right?”

“I guess so.”

“And if you make a mistake when you add some really high numbers up, you know it when Jack tells you.”

“Yeah, Jack is really smart with numbers!”

“He is. So if he tells you what you did wrong will you do it again?”

“Sometimes I do.”

“And then?”

“Then Jack tells me again and then I don't do it again!”

“Exactly! So you also get better and better at that.”

“So when you mess up Jack tells you?”

“Yeah, just like he does with you. He really likes to do that.” Geoff tilted the mirror again until he could see the boy in it: “But this works on both ways, so when Jack messed up I will tell him. Just like you could tell me if I had some chocolate on my face right now.”

“You don't!”

“That's good. Do you understand how important that is?”

“I think so...”, Gavin mumbled. “But you are the King! I thought Kings don't make mistakes!”

“They make the most stupid ones.”, Jack mumbled before Geoff shushed him down.

“We Kings are pretty cool and smart – also good looking, that's true!” Gavin chuckled as the counselor rolled his eyes. “But we have a lot of work to do.”

“How much?”

“Mh... more than one hundred math-exercises!”

The boys eyes grew big: “One hundred?!”

“Even more!”

“You are lying, Geoff!”

“I am not! I never lie!”

“That's also a lie!”

The king chuckled before ruffling the wild hair: “So you understand why even I sometimes make mistakes.”

Gavin nodded, hopping up and down: “I also want a mirror! Can Jack be my mirror, too?”

“No, he's mine. You have to find your own, I'm not sharing!”

“Where is mine?”

“I don't know.”

Pouting, the boy leaned back, crossing his arms: “But I want one now!”

“A mirror is something dangerous, so be careful for what you wish, buddy.”, Geoff explained slowly before pressing a finger against the smooth surface. “It breaks really fast when you aren't careful or misuse it.” There was a single crack but it diverted into many tiny ones until it nearly looked like a spiderweb.

“I can't see you anymore.”, Gavin mumbled sadly, moving his head to try and get a right angle.

“Neither can I see you. And no matter what I will do I can't make it right again.”

“Geoff, you hurt yourself.”, Jack mentioned, a solemn look on his face.

Lifting his finger, the king revealed the shallow cut, letting the blood run down his hand. “That's also something.”, he explained monotone, his eyes following the trail intently. “You can't hurt your mirror without hurting yourself. So be really careful who you chose, Buddy.”

 

 

~+~

He would like to pretend that he had noticed something but that would have been a lie. Gavin threw the ball across the throne room and Geoff caught it with ease, pretending to throw it back which made the boy run to where he was pointing.

Jack wasn't pleased. Jack was never pleased when they settled to play like this, he was the responsible one, knowing that the king shouldn't have time for this. But he usually kept it for himself because Gavin squealing in delight when he managed to catch the ball was worth so much more.

The boy also bluffed a throw just like Geoff had done before he turned around, listening to the strange sound outside. In the next moment the door got blasted open as a man charged into the room, a longsword in his hands. He hesitated for a brief moment because he hadn't expected to stand face to face with a little boy. Gavin simply stared at him, his mouth slightly agape and the ball tightly pressed against his thin chest. The fist hit him in the face, swatting him to the floor and Geoff could hear himself yell, reaching for his sword in rage.

The first axe hit the man between the eyes and the second into his chest. He stumbled back a step before he crashed down.

Jack was already halfway there, the king on his heels because the boy wasn't moving. He was laying like he had fallen, his eyes wide open, staring at the blood that was now starting to pool on the floor, closing in on him.

The counselor hauled him from the floor before it reached him, the little head rolling limply, eyes unseeing as he slumped against the others chest.

“Gavin?”, he shook the small body, a hand in the others hair to stabilize him. “Come on, Buddy!”

The boy blinked really, really slow. His eyes dark against his sudden pale skin and for a moment they were sure he was going to pass out again. Lifting his hand, he curled it into a fist, hitting it against Jacks shoulder in sluggish but calculated movements. He repeated the action a few times, his lids heavy and suddenly his mouth opened and he began to scream. It were the same terrified screams he had produced in the first weeks after he had left the Nether and the guards now pouring in, stopped at the sound of it.

“Get that body out of here!”, Geoff growled at them, his voice fierce and it made the boy scream even louder. Jack tried his best to shush him down but even though he had been so good at it, it wasn't working. Not his gentle words, not the small rocking that usually made him giggle or simply holding him close. Gavin reared up, fighting against the grip as if his life depended on it.

“It's alright, Buddy! The bad man is gone, you're safe!”, he assured him over and over again but it didn't reach.

“Gavvy!” Geoff carefully touched his cheek that turned red, surely going to become a bruise where the man had hit him. A shiver went through the small body and the trembling started, chipping his scream in small portions thanks to the clattering of his teeth. But he stopped beating on Jack and was now reaching for the king.

“Geoff, Geoff, Geoff!”, he whined desperately, his fingers making grabbing motions. “Geoff, hold! Geoffy, please hold! Geoff, I'm sorry! I'm good, please hold!”

And he did.

He pressed him tightly against his chest and the arms curled around him with the strength of someone hopeless. The screams finally died down, leaving them in a terrifying silence.

The king patted the boys back, his hands shaking thanks to the sudden shock, waiting for the inevitable.

It started slowly, the voice tiny and hoarse as Gavin apologized, promised to be good. Asking to please, please, please not leave him alone!

And he couldn't answer. He stared at Jack and couldn't find a single word. He stared at Jack and didn't see at the same time. He could cry. Cry because it was so unfair, cry because he wanted to take the pain away and most of all cry because he wasn't enough to do so.

They stood like this for some time. Long after the few tears of the king had dried and his beating heart slowed down. He could see that Gavin was quietly sucking on his thumb and he knew he should stop him but the child looked distant, gone to whatever place his brain took him when it couldn't cope with a situation anymore.

Too far for any of them to reach.

And then the humming started and that was the thing Geoff hated the most. The distorted melody coming from the child that was somehow familiar but he could never put his fingers on it.

“He needs a weapon, Geoff.”, Jack suggested quietly. “He needs to defend himself when we want to keep him close to us.”

“He is in no state to handle a weapon!”

“He has to! He has to train and get out and be with other kids!”, his counselor insisted. “We can't keep him only for us, he needs friends. He needs to see how normal children live!”

Burying his face in the unruly hair, Geoff closed his eyes. Because this was hard. Because of course Jack was right, he always was but he didn't want to share.

“I'm taking him to the training grounds tomorrow.”, the counselor said. “He can look at the new recruiters. I'm sure he wants to join them.”

 

It wasn't as easy as that. Because when Jack took his hand the next day, Gavin flinched away like he hadn't done in months. Scared, he searched the kings warmth. Crawling on Geoffs back when the counselor neared to hide there.

After the king had calmed him down, the boy waited until they were alone before he explained quietly that Jack had done a bad thing. A really, really, _really_ bad thing.

So Geoff told him that yes, killing was a really, really, _really_ bad thing but that had been a bad person who wanted to harm them.

“So bad people like that should be killed?”

“Sometimes, yes. If there is no other way.”

“Was I a bad person? Was I killed because of that?”

And Geoff throat felt like it was crushed as the boy sat in his lap, looking up to him with this big eyes: “No, no of course not. Don't ever think that, Buddy.”

“Why was I dead then?”

And he had no answer to that.

 

 

~+~

“So we were running through the garden to get away, you know. And I turned around because I was in front and that is strange because normally Ray is in front, because he is so damn fast. But behind me was only Michael!”, Gavin explained, hopping up and down on his feet in front of the throne. “We couldn't just leave him behind! Michael said only cowards do that and I am not one! So we turned around and hid in the bushes to not get caught and we couldn't even call for him! And guess where we found him!”

“No clue.”

“In front of the roses!”, Gavin revealed with a spark in his eyes. “He wasn't even picking them, he just sat there and stared at them!”

“He probably likes them a lot.”

“He does! But yeah, that's the reason we got caught. Stupid Ray!”

“Gavin, I didn't ask why you got caught. I wanted to know why you three felt the need to break into the kitchen!”

“But Geoff! Michael said they made cookies!”

“They did not!”

“Well, otherwise it would have been the perfect crime!”

 

 

~+~

“Geoff, Jack! Do you both have time?”, Gavin ran into the throne room, large rings in his hands, waving them up and down. God knows where he found them but he had been quick to learn how to juggle them, creating new tricks for show.

“Not right now, Buddy.”, the counselor said apologizing. “Give us a few more minutes, alright?”

“Alright!” The boy sat down right there in the middle of the throne room. Geoff watched him in the corner of his eye as he played with the huge rings. He had probably created another one of his shows. Gavin had started working on those whenever he had time, performing them in here or when he was with his two friends.

He was quite good!

Quick with his feet, talented with his hands as he spun around, more like a jester than a- A what?

Again this strange idea. To make this boy, this little boy with the big eyes which always made sure someone was around and the scars that were so visible even though they were buried underneath his skin but with a smile that enlightened the room. To make this boy his prince.

His son.

An idea so stupid and strange and warm that he hadn't even told Jack yet.

Gavin noticed that he was being watched and grew excited, figuring he could perform soon. Smirking, Geoff made sure to finish his letter as slow as possible, hearing Jack huffing amused next to him.

So when he put his feather down the boy was already on his knees, bouncing up and down. “Now?”, he asked immediately.

“Well there is still some wo-”

“Don't be like that.”, his counselor nudged him.

“Geoff, please! I learned something new!”, Gavin begged, his hands clasped together. “Please, please, please!”

“Maybe I can bear some precious moments fo-”

“Yes!”, the boy cheered, jumping to his feet before making an elegant bow. Both ends of the long green scarf fell from his small shoulders and pooled on the ground. Taking his time to wrap them back around his neck, he took hold of the rings. Three in his right hand, two in his left.

It started like a wave. Geoff watched as he threw the first high up and by the time he caught it again, the others were also in the air. Then Gavin began to twirl around, his feet carefully searching for a good place to rest and as if that wasn't impressive enough he showed off his new trick.

There was a spark, maybe the reflection of the sun in the rings. It didn't explain the flames engulfing them the moment Gavin caught them again and the soft sparks when he launched them back towards the ceiling.

Geoff called him, told him to stop because that child should hiss in pain but didn't. The boy didn't listen and he'd like to think that it was because he was so intrigued by his performance but when Gavin faced him again, the king didn't recognize him.

There was someone else in the green eyes.

Jumping to his feet, he crossed the few steps that separated them instantly, getting a hold of the small shoulder. The strangers eyes fell on him, dark and insane but full of love and hot burning flames. Maybe the last was just the reflection from the rings that now fell down. One hit the boys arm and Geoff felt a searing pain in his own as the hot metal found his skin. The other didn’t flinch, just stared and then the eyes were covered by the lids and Gavin was back again.

Smiling a bit unsure, he crooked his head: “Did you like it?”

Geoff couldn't answer. He smelled the burning carpet beneath his feet and he felt the stinging ache in his arm. The boy didn't.

The king simply stared as the smile faltered and fell: “Geoff?”

“Where did you learn that, Buddy?”, Jack asked and Gavin turned his head to him.

“I can't tell you!”

“Why not? I won't get mad.”

“It's not that!” Geoff took hold of his hands, inspecting his palms for bruises that weren't there but Gavin only threw him a quick look before he continued: “A magician never reveals his tricks! That's what Ray said! And I am a magician!”

“Did you show that Ray and Michael?”

“No! I wanted to show you guys first!”

“Buddy, please tell me-”

“Why aren't you burned?”, Geoff interrupted and the boy turned to him, chuckling as if it was a stupid question.

“Because it's magical fire, of course!”

“Gavin, where did you get that?”

“A magician ne-” The king jerked at his arm and he whimpered, already trying to flee from the painful touch and search shelter with Jack.

“Where did you get that!”

“They told me about it!”, Gavin tried to explain, looking towards the counselor for help.

“Geo-”

“Who told you?”

The same eyes stared back at him, unknown and dark and then they were gone and the boy gave up his struggle. Relaxing to the point of nearly sinking to the floor, he blinked sluggishly: “I don't know anymore.”

And Geoff let him go. He let him go and stepped back, letting Jack handle the situation.

The thought came back. The dark one he carried for over a year now, that had actually blossomed way sooner.

This child was possessed.

Something had followed the boy out of hell, out of the Nether and clung to him like a second skin, buried deep within. Not to reach unless risking to break what was left of the fragile soul he had learned to love.

Hidden in _the voices_ and _them_ and _I forgot_ , only coming out in the dreams and sometimes in the green eyes, tinting them nearly black. Showing only to mock him because there was no way for him to reach. No way for him to save.

He couldn't rip the demon out without destroying what he held so dearly.

And he was not willing to do that.

 

 

 

~+~

“I can't become the King.”

Jack looked up.

He had wondered what was the reason they were here. It had been years since Gavin had knocked on his door in the middle of the night, asking if he could come in. Not because of a nightmare, just to talk.

Simply to talk about something.

So they were standing on the balcony of his room with this amazing look over the city. They stood here already too long for this time of year when the air smelled of snow and the stars shone bright above them but the counselor hadn't said a word, waiting until the younger one did.

Now he could speak: “Why?”

Gavin sighed. He had the green scarf wrapped over his mouth, his arms crossed on the balustrade, his chin resting on top and still his breath was a clear fog leaving him.

“I'm not Geoff.”, he finally muttered. “I'm not a Ramsey. I'll never be.” Burying his face in his arms, he added with a broken voice: “I'm not good enough. He's the King, he's the allfather. I am merely a jester.”

“Most of all he is your father.”, Jack answered, watching as the hands of the other tugged for a hold in his sleeves.

“He's not!”, Gavin spat. “He took me in, you took me in! My real father wasn't interested in me. He never came for me!”

“Family isn't forged in blood, Buddy. Geoff sees you as his son whether you see him as your father depends entirely on you.”

“What could he possibly want with a son like me! I was brought here to find out more about the Nether but to this day I can't remember a single thing! I still wake up from stupid nightmares like a dumb child, I can't even be alone! I'm of no use!”

“He loves you.” Simple, honest words because it was easier saying his own truth in someone elses name: “Maybe he took you in for another reason but it was the reason he kept you. It was the reason he was always around, it is the reason he laughs so loud, it is the reason he is who he is today. Because the damaged little boy we found all those years ago is now his son. Grown up to a fine young man.”

A shiver went through the thin frame of the younger one. “I love him, too.”, he confessed slowly and then even quieter: “Love you, too...”

Jack smiled a bit and they fell silent. At least Gavin lifted his head, his face carried still a hint of pink and the lights of the city reflected in his eyes. He frowned at the sight: “Jack... I really can't... Look at all those people! All these people will count on me and I just can't... I'm so scared to mess it up! I don't have a counselor, I don't have a mirror who looks after me! I can't do this alone!”

A heavy hand laid down to rest on the unruly hair: “You are not alone, Buddy. You may be the Prince Regent but Geoff is still young. He won't die anytime soon. Most of all I do believe he is sturdy like weed and we will have to force him to leave the throne. And when he passes his crown to you, both he and I will be there to help you. But all this is way in the future! At your age Geoff was also terrified of the pressure on him! Still he became a great King! If he thinks you are the right person I trust him.”

“I know.”, Gavin whimpered.

“As for the mirror-part; I still think it is either Michael or Ray.”, the counselor continued. “But that is your choice and if it is not one of them, your mirror will be out there somewhere. Your paths will cross eventually. You'll never know; maybe he or she is on their way right now!”

“I know, I know all of that!” Gavin turned to look at him for the first time since stepping on the balcony and his eyes were scared and lost. The same gaze he had seen in Geoffs face when his mother had first fallen sick. A few years after he had seen past the snotty prince who always wanted to talk, laughing this ridiculous loud laugh and rather caused a ruckus than concentrate on his study. The same prince he had found pale and crying one day in the corner of his room, asking for him to stay. Just for a few minutes because he was oh so lonely.

The prince who had stepped out of the room an hour later, his mask back on and off to his next lesson.

The prince who had remembered the name of a simple servant as the first of many.

“Then he needs to know, Gavin.”, Jack said. “If you really can't do it, you have to tell Geoff.”

“He will get mad... and he is very scary when he gets mad!”

Geoff wouldn't get mad. It would crush him, it would disappoint him and that was going to be way worse.

And still: “But that's only fair. He has to plan ahead, Gavin. He has to find a successor for his throne. And after all it doesn't have to be your final decision. You still have so many years ahead of you until this will be relevant. Maybe you have changed your mind by then!”

The boy shook his head, sighing once more: “I'll tell him tomorrow.”

“That's good.”

“Will you be there, too? I don't want to talk to him alone.”

“Of course, Buddy.”

And finally he cracked a shaking smile: “Thank you, Jack! For everything; really!”

“Whenever you need me.”, he replied. “What did Michael and Ray say to your decision?”

“They don't know it yet. Nobody knows.”, Gavin admitted a bit embarrassed. “I wanted to talk to you first.”

The words left a buzzing warmth beneath his skin and he squeezed the others shoulder: “Go to bed now and rest. Don't forget who you are to him and who he is to you. It will be fine.”

Hesitating for a moment, the boy chuckled before wrapping his arms around the others shoulders, still forced to stand on his tiptoes for that: “Good night, Jack.”

“Good night, Buddy.”

 

 

~+~

It grew silent in the room after the stories stopped. Lindsay had listened, her features barely moving as she kept her feelings in check. But Geoff could see the silent judgment in her eyes.

“You are asking yourself why.”, he mumbled. “Why I decided to turn on him after all this.”

“Yes.”

“It's easy. Well... maybe it's not. This little boy is only a container, whatever soul was thrown into the Nether is long gone. Ripped apart by the demons until one of them simply decided to nestle in.” He was standing at the window and her eyes laid on him. They weren't the only ones.

“But he is still that boy.”, she said carefully.

“Yes, he is still my son.” It was a mutter of dangerous words: “He is still Gavin.”

Lindsay threw a quick look to Jack but he also couldn't meet her eye.

“But I still have a responsibility towards the kingdom.”, the first king continued. “I brought the demon into the safe walls, I let him reside in the castle itself. And at the end it was my fault that he is now in this position.” He shook his head in disbelieve: “So I have to clear my mistakes. No matter what the cost is.”

 

 

_Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state_   
_A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake_   
_No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber_   
_Until I realize that it was you who held me under_

 

 

 

Oh and I nearly forgot Rachels amazing picture!

I found it fitting to add to this chapter, I hope you agree, my Dear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go! This was for sure the hardest chapter to write yet because I dislike writing about kids a LOT but the story had to be told. I actually wrote this over a great span of time, taking breaks to write other chapters - I hope all the hard work was worth it!  
> Song is "Blinding" by Florence and the machine.  
> See you guys next week!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faceless voices swirled through it and his heart stopped. They shouldn't be here, they shouldn't wait for him right there, staring with black eyes and no features, hungry to get a piece of him and the air he had just filled into his lungs got poisoned, stuck in his throat as he stumbled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (late) Halloween!  
> Enjoy the festival!

Chapter 9

 

_We kill the lights and put on a show_   
_It's all a lie_   
_But you'd never know_

 

 

It was right after breakfast when Lindsay made sure that King Ingrar and Claudia were gone, watching how they stood around the carriage, talking mildly with Geoff and Gavin. She saw Gavin kissing the princess' hand before helping her up the steps and waited patiently after the doors were closed and the carriage took off.

When they passed the gate, she turned around and walked through the hallways. Jack had explained the way to her in great details and she couldn't help but be impressed by how fast he had learned the winding alleys.

About halfway Ryan waited for her but she hadn't expected Michael to be there as well and she smiled happily.

“I wasn't tired yet.”, he shrugged as an explanation. “Figured I could help as well when I don't have to babysit.”

“That's great!”, she assured him, both of them sharing a blushing smile before Ryan cleared his throat. Snapping out of it, she looked up to him: “Oh yeah right; follow me.”

And she found the library without much difficulties, remembering Jacks directions all too well. So they split up, sitting back down with equally large books and began to read. Anything endermen related was welcome and as expected Werringtal had more information on them than they had imagined. Lindsay noted everything remotely valuable. Weak spots she already knew, theories, ways to craft armor with their skin. It was a dull work but one that needed to be done and she felt her eyes grow tired as the sun moved over the sky, clearly visible through the huge windows.

It was nothing compared to Michael who sat beside her, his head resting on the pages as he was fast asleep. Chuckling quietly, she caught Ryans equally amused gaze before he continued to read.

The counselor didn't seem to have any problems and she watched him read incredibly fast, his notes scribbled mindlessly on the pages without as much as a glance. Her eyes traveled back to her own book before she caught herself staring at the warrior again. She hadn't noticed just how many freckles littered his face and she leaned a bit forward to count them with her eyes. She caught herself thinking about brushing the locks away under which maybe some more hid and while she was at that, she could also feel the texture of his hair. It really interested her, the curls looked so soft that it should be a great pillow to rest her head on.

But then her eyes found his lips, full and slightly parted. Steady, warm breaths passing over the pages and she couldn't deny that they looked inviting.

Blushing furiously, she hid behind her book, embarrassed to realize how close she had leaned. And way too nervous to check if Ryan had noticed something.

He seemed to have because it was only a few minutes later when he stood up, circling the desk before crouching down.

“Michael.” A hand gently on the curls, a soft tug on his arm: “Get to bed.”

The mouth of the warriors closed as he turned his head, burying his face into his folded arms, voicing a small protest. It turned into a pleasant sound, nearly a purr when Ryan began to rub his scalp and Michael was quick to press against the warmth, searching for the touch.

“Come on now.”, Ryan muttered softly, smiling when the brown eyes opened sluggishly. “You can't sleep on the desk.”

“Can sleep on the desk.”, he sighed pleasantly. “Just watch me.”

“Fine, I believe you can do it but your back will hurt if you do.”

“Ain't scared of that.”

The counselor rolled his eyes, stopping his movements which lured the warrior into a whine, pushing against the still hand: “Don't be a baby.”

“'m not a baby.” Stretching, he winced a bit at his already stiff neck and Lindsay chuckled. The brown eyes found her, big and round as if he had forgotten she was there. He sat up straight in an instant, his face completely flushed as he searched for words he didn't seem to find. In the end he simply muttered a quick goodbye before trailing of flustered.

“You are good with them.”, Lindsay mentioned towards the counselor. “I noticed that before but they really listen to you.”

“Do they?”, he asked amused before settling back down. “It usually doesn't feel like it.” But it was clear that he was happy about the words.

They turned back to their books and worked for a few minutes in silence until Ryan stood up, muttering something about foreign castle and bad orientation and checking if Michael had really found his way.

It was some hours later when the counselor had already returned to Gavins side that Jack and Geoff joined her and she allowed herself to rest for a moment. Eating, drinking, taking a small nap to recover her attention. But when she came back, Geoffs hand was warm on her back: “It's getting late. You should start to get dressed up.”

“It's still a few hours until the festival starts.”, she whined because she preferred sitting here all day over playing a porcelain doll for Claudia.

“Lindsay.”

Sighing defeated, she nodded slowly: “I know, I know.” Which didn't mean she was happy with that.

But it was a minor sacrifice she had to make. So she went to her room and wore her dress before making her way to the princess' chamber. Claudia greeted her with a happy laugh: “Lindsay! I'm so glad you came around!”

“I hope I don't bother you.”

“No, not at all. Please sit down!” She gestured to the mirror and the guardian suppressed a sigh as she did just like she was told.

“I love your dark dress! It fits your hair so nicely; you have such a nice color!” Slender fingers worked their ways through the strands, soft and careful to loosen minor knots. “I wish I could have such an intense color!”

“Why don't you?”

“I'm a princess, it doesn't suit me.”, she explained thoughtfully.

“First of all you are yourself.”

Humming in agreement, she continued: “It's not that easy.”

“Is it?” The fingers stopped and Lindsay bit on her lip at her own stupid words: “Please forgive me, that was rude.”

“I'm not mad.”, the girl chuckled. “I had that thought already a lot but you see; I have a responsibility against my father and my people and I have to wager each decision carefully. So my hair color is not really that important but I don't find the time to worry about it too much.”

“It's not as easy as people believe, is it?”

“No. I have a lot to learn and my mother isn't around anymore to teach me. So all I have is my maid and she is terribly strict – but that's just because she wants me to be a great queen. She is a good person!”

“I heard about your mother, I'm really sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”, Claudia said good-humored before reaching for the brush and began her work. “But it has been long ago, I am alright with it. She was an incredible, strong person! There was this sickness tearing at our people and she went out to help them! So in the end she got sick herself and died. I was with her on that day and even though I was mad at her for choosing those people over me, she died with a smile and that made it better in some way. Also I still had my father and I love him dearly!”

Lindsay fell silent and watched the girl through the mirror. She brushed her hair with long strokes and a smile on her face. Before, the guardian had believe she was weak and maybe slightly naive but now it rather seemed like she was just a bit lonely, glad to have someone else to talk to.

“I have a question.”, the princess began again. “And I hope you can answer me honestly. Gavin is a good person, is he?”

Lindsay nodded slowly, a bit surprised by the use of his first name. But he was a good person, at least in a farfetched way but remembering what she knew about him now, she found the word twisted way more fitting.

“Good, he seems like that to me but I figured you'd know him better.” The soft brushes halted for a moment as the princess seemed to get a bit nervous: “But he is not really interested in a marriage, is he?”

Their eyes met through the mirror and Lindsay decided not to say a thing because Claudia seemed certain at that.

“That's fine by me.”, she laughed finally. “I am neither but it is a tradition to have a married couple on the throne here so my father has high hopes. I kinda... want to prove to him that it is not necessary, you see? To show him that I can lead this country without a man by my side; not without help – I am not foolish, I see how much work it is! But to prove myself worthy!” She took the brush again, the red hair now silky and shining in the candlelight: “I was hoping that Gavin could maybe help me with that.”

“You are talking about a fake marriage?”

“Yeah.”

Lindsay thought about that. A marriage between the kingdoms could benefit them and if it would be fake, Gavin might actually agree. Having Claudias trust would give them the opportunity to the kingdoms secrets, to their resources and their armies in need. It would indeed be beneficial for both of them.

“I can't speak for my King.”, she said slowly but it seemed enough for Claudia. Chuckling, she began to braid the others hair: “Sure. Maybe I should just ask him!”

 

It had become evening and they were waiting for their turn to walk through the massive hall. All the guests were there by the time and only a heavy curtain separated them. The plan was simple; King Ramsey was going to walk through the crowd before reaching the back were King Ingrar was, getting official welcomed in Werringtal.

Michael was pretty sure this was completely unnecessary and simply for show. Not to forget that it was a high risk leading Gavin through a crowd of people he knew nothing about. Geoff was going to be right next to him, at least carrying a sword and right behind him was a wall of Ryan, Ray and Jack – Michael and Lindsay were in the back, hindering anyone to sneak up.

The warrior was still not pleased by it. At all.

Mogar rested reassuring on his back but the garment he was forced to wear felt loose and incredibly light, giving him no protection at all.

It sucked.

Maybe he was also just nervous. Yes, he had trained with Gavin for quite some time yesterday and yes, he had made some progress but dancing was still a strange thing for him.

Hopefully Lindsay wouldn't ask.

Hopefully she would.

Ryan was tugging at his coat and he growled at the older man, not in the mood right now. The counselor gave him a last pat before he turned to Ray who stood still like a toy soldier as his brooch was fixed.

It was then that Geoff and his followers walked in and Michael forgot his thoughts, forget his stupid clothes as his mouth went dry.

Lindsay was wearing a black dress with silver emblems, making her hair glow in an intense red. Some strands were pulled back and braided together, with a clasp holding them in place, the orange flower of Werringtal on it.

Turning her head, their eyes met and Michael swallowed.

“Hey.”, she muttered as she took her place next to him. She was walking slower than usually, even being a bit taller and he figured she was wearing other shoes.

“Hey.”, he replied a bit delayed, still staring. Her hair was curly, just slightly and his eyes traveled down the strands before moving back up to her eyes and he swallowed once again.

“Is it a bad weird this time?”, she asked nervously, trying to tease. “Or at least a good weird?”

“Good.”, he muttered. “Just good, not weird. You look very pretty.”

Blushing, she averted her gaze: “Thank you.”

And with a frantic beating heart, like a bird in a cage he held out his arm: “You know... these shoes must be hard to walk in, right?”

“You have no idea!”, she chuckled before stepping closer. Taking the offered arm, their shoulders brushed but none of them moved away at that.

They fell in a buzzing but pleasant silence, too wrapped up with each other to notice Ray making a gagging motion in front of them.

Ryan did, giving him a slap against the back of his head, surprised that Jack did the exact same thing on the other side. They threw each other an amused look before turning away and the counselor rather focused on his king.

Gavin was tense, he could see his rigid shoulders even though he was wearing a heavy green coat. It would be simple to ease it a bit with a small touch or some calming words but firstly his hair was for once tame and he didn't want to ruin it no matter how much the other enjoyed it and secondly someone else was doing it already.

Geoffs hand rested on Gavins back, apparently unnoticed by both of them as he talked intently to him, giving last instructions. The king nodded, taking the words to heart.

He knew them already but repeating the procedure calmed him down. Eat little because too much would indicate he wasn't full from the dinner before and eating nothing would mean he didn't like the food. The first two dances were for the normal folk, he was going to ask Claudia for the honor of the third one. And of course to not touch the king.

He liked to think of it as a game which rules he had to follow exactly because the game-master was incredibly strict. Two guards walked through the curtain, asking if they were ready.

Gavin nodded, taking one last breath.

The curtain was lifted and for the first time he could see into the big hall. Faceless voices swirled through it and his heart stopped. They shouldn't be here, they shouldn't wait for him right there, staring with black eyes and no features, hungry to get a piece of him and the air he had just filled into his lungs got poisoned, stuck in his throat as he stumbled back.

Hundred of blank faces with all this whisper he couldn't put in place, drowning his thoughts and triggering mean shadows behind his closed eyes. So he let his eyes be open, not daring to have a nightmare right here and now, not daring to take another breath because maybe they could hear him then and maybe they would swirl around him like birds with fire in their feathers.

Jack yelled something and the curtain was closed again.

A tremble ran through Gavins body as his back hit the opposite wall, hindering his further retreat. Someones hand was on his arm and he searched for it, whimpering quietly.

Then the blacksmith was in front of him, shielding him from the sight and from the demons and he dared to blink.

“-just masks.”, were the first words he noticed. Jack cupped his cheek like he did when he had been a child, forcing him to look up to him. Only that he never had done the same to Geoff who was standing next to him, looking just as shaken.

“They are just wearing masks!”, Jack repeated.

Ryan appeared behind the other man and quickly Gavin reached him, pressing his body against his in search of comfort. A cold hand was laid against the nape of his neck, also shivering as his fingers clawed for hold.

He wasn't shushed down because he didn't make a noise, his eyes wide open to be aware of every movement in the room. Just to be prepare when they came in.

“Geoff!”, Jack insisted, shaking the other slightly.

Gavin watched them, saw the pale face of his father, the shocked look of remembering in his eyes.

“They looked like them.”, the first king mumbled and it was true. They did look like the faceless shadows in his dreams, whispering sweet insanities night after night.

And maybe he had said the exact same thing because Ryans voice was raw next to his ear: “I know. I saw it too.” And it had to be true because the counselor was shaking, searching comfort through comforting him, so Gavin buried his face in his shoulder, taking in the calming scent.

Behind him Jack talked quietly, repeating that it had only been masks and that had to be true. Maybe he had known that in the moment he had seen them but even then it had to be a horrific sight, so many masks turning to stare at them. It was just these pure white masks with black slashes for the eyes combined with the fluttering words that came out of apparently no mouth at all.

And Gavin knew that Ingrar had counted on that. He didn't know how and what the other king knew exactly but that couldn't be a coincidence!

Angered, he lifted his head, watching Michael who was talking to the knight while shielding Lindsay from him at the same time. Ray had his rapier in his hand, placed firmly in front of himself.

“Ray.”, Gavin called and the other immediately searched for him but not daring to turn his back to the curtain just yet. His pupils were blown, his gaze wild.

“It's alright. Please calm down.”

“Those were just some mask. They weren't real.”, Ryan tried to help.

The brown eyes left Gavin, wandering to the counselor: “You're sure?”

“I am.”

He looked back at the king, waiting for instructions.

“Put your weapon away, Ray. There is no danger.”

“They looked like them.”

“I know. But those are just masks.”

“Alright.” He lowered his rapier and seemed to noticed Michael and Lindsay for the first time, smiling embarrassed: “Sorry.”

“It's fine.”

Taking Ryans scent in one more time, Gavin stepped back, throwing the man a questioned look. He returned it right away, before nodding.

He was alright. Both of them were.

Straightening the wrinkles he had caused in the others clothes, he wanted to apologize or thank him but he knew it wasn't necessary.

“Shit!”, Geoff swore quietly, his hand squeezed Jacks arm one more time before turning towards the king. “He counted on that! Fuck, that was smart! I didn't expect that to happen!”

Gavin nodded thoughtfully: “We have to go out there, don't we?”

“Only if you can do it.”, Ryan asked, watching him for any signs of hesitation.

“I can. They just surprised me, I'm fine.” He looked around: “But I could understand if one of you rather wants to stay here.”

Geoff caught his eyes, his shaken anger dissolving into an amusing huff: “Don't flatter yourself.”

Grinning slightly, the king walked up to Ray, letting his hand rest against the others cheek. His knight was still breathing a bit too fast but he nodded: “I'm alright now. Sorry.”

“Are you sure. Ray? You cannot lose control in there.” Just imagining that, Gavin had to shiver: “I won't judge you if you want to stay behind.”

“No. I'll stay with you.”

“Thanks.”

They walked into the hall with some delay but the masks still greeted them and Gavin felt the same similarity with that. It suffocated his mind and he ripped his eyes from them, looking at his father next to him: “Laugh.”

Geoff raised his eyebrows but even though he was still pale, he did as he was told and the king fell in until they reached the podium where Ingrar sat.

“You didn't tell me that it was a masquerade!”, Gavin said, loud enough to carry between the walls. “You scared us quite good!”

Ingrar didn't answer, just smiled knowingly, so Gavin turned around and faced the sea of masks. Fear nearly smothered his will as he stared into the darkness where eyes hopefully rested.

“You guys look great but next time give me a warning!” There was a loud chuckling that came out of one mouth or many but he couldn't see either so it might be a bodiless voice just like in his dreams. And the picture of the highly decorated hall twisted and blurred into dark shadows and red fire.

And whispers, whispers, whispers.

_You are alone._

_They don't want you here._

_They will leave you behind._

_Are you afraid of the dark?_

He forced himself to smile, to not listen and to not see and to just concentrate on smiling because he could do that and that's what they expected him to do. “And now let the festival begin! We are here to enjoy this evening!”

He couldn't hear an answer over all these voices but music started and he focused on that, focused on how out of place it was and slowly, so slowly the Nether faded, leaving him in a warm hall.

His legs shook, hopefully not as obvious as it felt but they dared to give out. He needed to sit down.

Someone took a tight hold of his upper arm and lead him to the chair next to Claudia. He gave the princess a smile which she returned sweetly and Geoff whispered into his ear: “That was good, Buddy.”

His heart ached at the word and his knees bugged slightly as he finally sat, his father taking the chair next to him.

Now looking over the crowd of people was easier because as they swirled around, he could see the straps holding their masks in place. His heart calmed down slowly, the trembling easing but still he nearly jumped when a hand rested on his arm. Turning around, Claudia was still smiling: “They really are scary, right?”

“They are.”, he agreed.

“It is a tradition, someone should have informed you, I'm sorry.” Her fingers were placed on his hand and he understood, raising his arm to place a soft kiss on them: “It's alright, I was just a bit startled.”

“I was really scared by those masks as a kid.”, she continued, letting her hand rest in his. “I always had nightmares after festivals, it was awful!”

“I can imagine.”, he assured her, squeezing her hand a bit. It felt weird doing that with a nearly complete stranger but it was expected by him. For him it was a comforting gesture, that's all it ever been but maybe she was trying to comfort him.

Smiling a little, he turned back around.

The first dance was nearing its end and when it did and the musicians picked up another melody, he shifted nervously in his seat. Geoff nudged him slightly and that finally loosened his tongue.

“Do you want to dance?”, he asked tense and she beamed at him. “Sure!”

They waited until the music died once again before they stood up and he led her down the steps into the sea of masks. A mild chatter was heard from everywhere, too many different words to distinguish them and Gavin tried to ignore them. Tried to ignore the blank faces he was passing.

Tried to ignore the part of him that wanted to curl tightly and wake up.

Claudias fingers squeezed slightly and he returned the gesture, waiting as she turned towards him and her free hand found his shoulder. His other hand rested lightly on her hip as the music started again. They moved in calculated steps, the people around them giving them more than enough space, most of them rather watching than dancing for themselves.

It should make Gavin incredibly nervous even without the masks but he rather focused on each step, happy that he had trained with Michael before to refresh the memory. It hadn't prepared him for Claudias wide dress brushing against his legs or the blurred masks that passed behind her shoulders. So he concentrated on her face, counting the flowers woven into her hair in an artistic way.

She smiled as if she could guess his thoughts and he chuckled slightly at that.

A red coat caught his attention in the corner of his eye and Gavin turned towards it, losing his rhythm. The princess stepped on his foot but it didn't matter because Ray was next to him, his rapier buried into one of the masks right between the black eyes, making blood spill.

Claudia gasped loudly, a small screamed escaping her while Gavin just stared with wide eyes at his friend. No! That couldn't happen! Ray had said he wouldn't lose control!

But here he was, red now pooling with wet splashes on the shiny floor right before his feet.

“Ray...”, Gavin finally brought out, wanting to step closer but the princess was fighting against it. The knight didn't even turn to him, he faced the opposite direction and just then the king noticed one of the mask charging at them.

Trying to retreat his rapier, Ray tugged forcefully but he simply pulled the staggering body closer to him. So he caught the attack with his shoulder, hissing at the pain.

Mogar crashed against the strangers head, a sickening crack echoing through the halls that finally seemed to alert everyone. Just now the music died down as two bodies hit the floor.

Michael threw Ray a look but his friend was present, cold and determined but himself. The people around them started to scream, hurrying away from the scene and searching for cover, making their work harder.

Gavin looked around, trying to make out another attack in the chaos but he was nearly too late when he saw the reflection of a dagger to his left. Pulling the princess close, he forced her down with him, shielding her with his own body.

The attack never reached them when the huge knight of Ingrar stepped between them, sending the intruder flying.

“William!”, Claudia called after him in fear and Gavin just pulled her closer, feeling her shivering beneath his touch and wishing nothing more than to have a weapon. Heavy hands gripped at his shoulders and he yelled surprised, ready to use his fire when he recognized Ryans voice: “Stand up!”

He did immediately, dragging the princess to her feet as he got shielded by his counselor who led them back to the podium. A line of knights protected the stairs, Lindsay among them. She let them pass, following them the few steps up.

Ryan guided them to safety where Ingrar waited and Claudia started to fight against his grip, running to her father the moment he let her free.

“Are you hurt?”, the counselor asked immediately, holding Gavin at arms-length to examine him. The king didn't answer, his eyes were glued to the princess and Ryan followed them. Ingrar was holding her close, patting her hair, shushing her down while she held on tight. An unstoppable flood of _'daddy, daddy, daddy'_ coming from her pretty mouth.

Gavins eyes were dark at the sight. Dark with yearning and dark with pain because what he wanted was denied. It made Ryan sad to see him like that but most of all he was angry, raising his gaze to find Geoff. The first king had noticed it as well because otherwise he wouldn't dare to avert his eyes.

“Gavin.”, he gently shook the other and it seemed to wake him.

“Don't leave me.”, familiar words that spilled fast from his lips as if he had thought them but never meant to say it. Confusion laid on his face before his cheeks colored brightly in embarrassment.

So he pulled him close and placed a kiss on the hair he could reach without knocking the heavy crown over because he couldn't be more, because he couldn't be Geoff, he could never replace the memories they shared but he could do that much.

A shaking breath and a muttered thanks brushed against his neck before they let go, focusing on the hall.

But the situation seemed to be under control, guards were pinning an intruder to the ground and Ryan could see at least four unmoving bodies scattered over the hall. Ray and Michael were already retreating and he felt a shiver when he saw the bright red soaking the knight. The warrior was leading him with a steady hold until they reached them: “Are you two alright?”

Ryan nodded, watching Ray intently who was breathing heavily through his nose. The king noticed it as well, calling him softly. The eyes of the knight found him, the pupil extended as he reached out. Intertwining their fingers, he stepped closer to Gavin until he hungrily took in his scent, trying to calm down.

“You are safe.”, Ray muttered, feeling the nod against his temple and he sighed relieved. “I feared I wouldn't be fast enough. It was so close.”

“You did good.”, the king assured him, rubbing his back. Looking up, he smiled at Michael: “You too!”

He rolled his eyes: “You make it sound like I'm a little child.”

“He's right though.”, Ryan threw in, reaching out to tousle the locks. “You two were incredible. You were down there before I even realized what was going on.”

The warrior blushed, acting like he wanted to escape the hand but taking no real action to do so. “Thanks but I just followed Ray.”, he mumbled quietly in the end.

“I should go.”, the knight interrupted them, his lids heavy.

“You got hurt.”

“Yeah but I also should change clothes.” Burring his face in Gavins neck, he breathed heavily. Taking in the scent that reminded him of warmth and home and summer nights on the roof, still stronger than the heavy smell of blood that lingered on him.

“Of course. Michael?”

The warrior nodded, before he took hold of the other once more and led him out of the hall.

“Your knight got hurt.” Gavin turned towards Ingrar who still held the girl tightly: “He got hurt while saving my Claudia. I'm in his debt so be assured I will sent my best doctors to treat him!”

He nearly let it slip that it was fine, that Ray could heal but thankfully he caught himself.

“Thank you.”, Ryan said instead. “We will look at it first. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems.”

Ingrars eyes traveled to him, resting a moment before he said: “I would say I am also in your debt, Haywood but let's just agree that we are even.”

The words felt heavy and Gavin threw his counselor a look, surprised that the other was actually at the loss of words. He was too tired to think about it, too tired to pay attention to the nearing fear so he lowered his gaze, finding Claudias tear streamed face.

“Are you alright?”, he asked and she nodded, her head still tightly held against her fathers chest. And he watched Ingrar. Watched how his solemn face changed to a protective and gentle expression the moment he looked at his daughter, making him younger. He watched how he planted a lovingly kiss on her forehead, never letting go and Gavin felt even more tired. He felt exhausted to the bone, mentally strained because he wanted this. Because he had this before and he had lost it and now there was no way for him to recover.

“I'm sorry that this happened.”, Ingrar said tense when Geoff and Jack joined them. “It was thanks to your high security that nobody got seriously hurt.”, Jack assured him.

Gavin didn't listen to the words afterward, his eyes looked up to his father and then to the hand resting on his shoulder. A small act for show, to assure Ingrar that everything was alright, to pretend the strange rumors were fake.

He didn't have the strength to play anymore tonight. Shrugging the hand off of him, he took hold of Ryans arm, draping it over his shoulder instead. “I want to go.”, he pleaded quietly even though everyone should be able to hear it. But he had to say it and he knew he was breaking out of character but he wanted to rest, he wanted to take of the mask and take a huge breath and he knew if he had to look at Claudia some more, if he was forced to watch the loving touches, if he was forced to endure the fake ones he received, he would simply start crying on the spot.

They exchanged some more words that washed over him as he leaned against his counselor with closed eyes and suddenly Ryan was moving and that was great, that meant safety and he simply followed, his mind blank.

Geoff had called him buddy.

He had called him buddy like he had done in the good old times when he would also hold him close, ask if he was alright, check if he was hurt. He had done none of that.

But he had called him buddy.

“ _That was good, Buddy.”_

It hurt. It hurt more than acting to be close and the small touches and the fake smiles. That was something private, something intimate. A thing that only he and Geoff and Jack knew about.

It wasn't fair to say it so casually. Like it didn't mean a thing anymore.

And it made him recall the last time he had heard that word out of his fathers mouth.

“ _I love you, Buddy.”_

It didn't feel like it. It sure as hell didn't feel like it!

“ _Don't ever forget that.”_

It had probably also meant nothing.

His heart ached. A violent pull on his inside and it felt so close to ripping apart, to break until he couldn't recognize it anymore and leave him behind with the mess.

For Geoff his son was dead. Gavin wished he could also bury what he used to be and what he used to have.

To burn it out until there was no trace left.

He couldn't. Because it was his home and his childhood and his warmth and burning it down meant to burn himself down.

Maybe he should.

His face twisted in sorrow and he stopped thinking. Stopping to think would help him wake up. Or maybe sleep safe and sound. He was tired and sinking felt great. Sinking down in his consciousness where it was dark and quiet and no voice could reach.

He was settling there, ready to stay for a while when pain pulled him back up, forcing him to open his eyes.

Gasping he did so, staring up to the ceiling and realizing he was lying down.

“Are you with me again?”

His eyes shifted until they found Ryan, then they looked around, recognizing the room he was staying in and the bed he was sleeping in and he had no memory how he got here.

“What happened?”

“Not sure.”, Ryan admitted, his hand finally messing up the neatly done hair. “You stopped listening at one point and I couldn't get you to talk to me. Sorry.”

Touching his cheek, he felt the pain lingering there: “Did you hit me?”

“Sorry.”, he repeated. “Are you better now?”

And the face of his counselor was so worried and guilty that he couldn't help himself but lie: “I am. I was just really tired.” Ryan wasn't buying it, of course not. It was too obvious, so Gavin wanted to tell him. He wanted to sit up and tell him: 'Geoff called me buddy.'

It wouldn't make sense. He couldn't emphasize what this word meant, he didn't have the needed vocabulary to express how deep it cut. He wasn't even sure if there were any words to describe it.

So all he did was sigh deeply.

“Gav-”

“I miss them.”, he spilled, surprised by himself. But now he couldn't stop as he admitted it: “I miss Geoff and I miss Jack and I miss _us_ , that weird little family. I miss Geoffs laugh and Jacks calmness and being happy because they are there! I miss being sure, being certain that they wouldn't leave and then they _did_. I miss buddy and I miss the scratchy feeling of Jacks beard and I miss that neither Geoff nor I ever used the word father or son because it was so risky, because it wasn't needed! And it _hurts_!” Hiding his eyes behind his hands, not because he was crying. He didn't feel like crying, he felt like getting ripped apart because this went so much deeper than simple tears.

“It hurts that I wasn't good enough.”, he whispered clearly. “I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough. I tried. I did my best.”

The mattress shifted and Ryan felt warm when he pulled him close. Warm and like a piece of home. He didn't speak and Gavin didn't open his eyes. He wrapped his arms around the others neck and buried his face in his chest and simply held as close as he could.

 

Ray leaned heavily on his friend on the way back to his room. Not because of the wound in his shoulder that still sent waves of pain through him or the threatening sleep that was on the edge of his consciousness. He could still suppress those.

It was the fact that he tried not to breath. The scent of blood followed him and dimmed his senses and he was way too afraid to risk losing his control. So if possible he wanted to slip away the moment he was in his room, knowing that Michael would take care of him and knowing that he himself was in no way a danger to him.

If only the way wasn't that long.

The warrior seemed to notice it as well as he stopped in his motions and before Ray could blink through his trance something soft was shuffled in his face.

“Here.”, Michael said before pulling him along. “Maybe it helps, at least it did with Gavin.”

It was his coat and the knight sank his face in the fur, inhaling deeply. Traces of blood, yes but mostly something sweet like warm and familiar blankets.

“Thanks.”, he muttered relieved, feeling the urges fading.

“It's nothing. You can pay me back though.”

“How?”

“I have no clue where we are.”

Looking around, Ray needed a moment until he found something briefly familiar in the hallway. “Why are we near the kitchen?”, he chuckled.

“What do I know?”, the warrior replied blushing. “Gavin should know that I am not good with directions, why does he sent me? This castle is a fucking maze!”

“You're hopeless!”

“Shut your mouth!”

So he gave Michael the needed directions, muffled through the coat he didn't dare to lift from his face. His scent was even more soothing than Gavins, he noticed. Because being near Gavin meant he had a duty, he had to be focused, he had to protect. Michael meant sharing the weight and right now it meant being protected, daring to lower his guard, trusting completely.

As they finally reached his room his wound was throbbing constantly and he was glad when he sat on his bed, breathing relieved. Michael helped him to undress, carefully freeing his hurt arm, hesitating when he saw the ripped flesh: “And you are sure... that will heal?”

“Yeah, that's nothing.”, Ray muttered, noticing that he was beginning to slip away.

Folding the red coat neatly, the warrior shifted a bit fidgety until he asked: “Can I watch?”

“You never saw it?”

“It happened when Geoff and Jack managed to get you at the portal.”, he admitted, holding the coat tightly. “But I didn't want to watch, so no. I never saw it up close.”

Ray shrugged, hissing at the thoughtless action: “I don't mind. I'll be gone in a minute anyway.”

Michael sat down next to him, his eyes glued on the wound which bleeding had already ceased and couldn't help but frown: “I wish it wasn't like this.”

“It's pretty convenient.”, the knight admitted with a sigh before the words really made sense in his clouded mind. Right, he was like this because he had made a deal with a demon. They were partly in this whole mess because of that contract.

And he had come in touch with said demon because of what his friend had done.

“Hey, Michael.”, he called and the brown eyes found his face to indicate that he was listening before he continued to watch the wound. Fighting against his nearing blackout, Ray held the others coat tighter, the fur tickling his skin: “I forgive you.”

Words that seemed long overdue but only because he had figured that they were obvious by now. Michael wasn't the only guilty one of them, far from that. And he had paid more than enough.

But maybe it had been himself who was foolish to believe that.

The eyes shot back up, wide and surprised and deep: “What?”

“I forgive you. You know... about _that_.”

“Killing you?”

Ray nodded, regretting to start this conversation at such a bad time because the man before him was unsteady but that was only because he himself was shaking at the strain to stay awake.

It was a bit funny. He had never seen eyes like that. Drowning in past pain and fresh one and still beam full of powerful joy as dark weight was lifted, making them so much brighter. He remembered those eyes.

The ones that would take Gavin in after a nightmare without asking questions, the ones that had sparred with him even after the training to prove his worth, giving him the illusion of winning but always keeping that out of reach.

The ones that had spent nights in his chamber when the nightmares had also haunted him.

Loyal, warm eyes. Unlike any other.

He hadn't realized they had gone missing.

Tears took their place in them but weren't even close to be strong enough to take away the gleam.

“Sorry.”, Ray whispered upon realizing the damage he had caused. Michael just smiled. A shaking but glad smile.

It was the picture Ray lost his consciousness to.

 

 

 

_This story's missing a wishing well_   
_No mirror to show and tell_   
_No kiss that can break the spell_   
_I'm falling asleep_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we came this far to resolve Michael and Rays conflict; ah my heart <3  
> The song is "Kill the lights" by The Birthday Massacre - see you guys in a week with a big chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was a free man. His crime was forgotten, he could walk through this castle without any worries.  
> He could walk through the city, he could stand in front of the little house which door he never repaired before leaving. He could knock on said door and tell Laurie that the nightmare was over.  
> That he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, big chapter ahead..  
> The song is 'Hurricane' by 30 seconds to mars and I am already apologizing

Chapter 10

 

_No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget_   
_No matter how many lives that I live, I will never regret_   
_There is a fire inside of this heart_   
_And a riot about to explode into flames_

 

 

It hadn't been a pleasant night. Ryan had slipped out of and back into sleep multiple times thanks to Gavin. The king was curled up on top of him, plagued by nightmares that left him trembling and muttering under his breath. More than once he had tried to understand what he said but it all seemed to be gibberish and nonsense.

The first few times the counselor had reached down and not being able to see, he had gently placed the tips of his fingers against the others lids, feeling the eyeballs rolling beneath like a mad man. Still this was better than finding them open like they had been before. He hadn't dared to admit how scared he had been, leading Gavin through the unfamiliar hallways of the castle like he was a puppeteer, talking and getting a nod whenever there was a pause in his words.

So when he had noticed that the king didn't even blink he had sat him down on the bed to be on eye-level but the other had seemed to take this as an order to lay down and pretend to sleep.

It was calculated and scary and Ryan had lost control. Shaking and calling had been answered with 'Yes' and 'I am fine' no matter what the question was or if there even was one.

He felt bad for hitting him. He felt way more relieved that his king was back from wherever he had been.

_I was just really tired._

A lie with a grain of truth. Gavin had been tired; was still.

And whenever his hands contracted to grab at his skin or the arms forced themselves around his chest or neck, holding tight and sending a brief pain to wake him up again, Ryan couldn't deny that he was too.

He also couldn't deny that he couldn't bring himself to be mad, combing through the hair until the pressure left and the muttering became quieter.

The next time it happened there were faint tears on the others cheek and he quickly wiped them away as if they hadn't happened by erasing the evidence.

Grey light engulfed the room now, promising that the dawn was coming soon and Ryan decided that it was futile to search for anymore interrupted sleep, letting his thoughts trail.

Firstly he wondered why Michael wasn't here. It was his job to look after the king in the nights but he hadn't shown up after bringing Ray away again. But maybe he had and had found both of them asleep in bed. Maybe he stood outside the door, granting them one or two more hours until he woke them with some snarky remark.

Gavin whined and he moved his hand from the others face back to his hair, allowing himself to think about something he hadn't dared until now.

_I would say I am also in your debt, Haywood but let's just agree that we are even._

He was a free man. His crime was forgotten, he could walk through this castle without any worries.

He could walk through the city, he could stand in front of the little house which door he never repaired before leaving. He could knock on said door and tell Laurie that the nightmare was over.

That he was home.

He could tell his son how big he had grown, he could tell his daughter how pretty she was.

His heart yearned for the fantasy and no matter how unrealistic it was, he imagined sitting at the table with them, asking how their day had been. How their years had been.

If they were learning and listen to their mother but all three of them were faceless just like the masks yesterday and it broke him.

He wouldn't be able to recognize them because they weren't the same anymore.

They wouldn't be able to recognize him because he wasn't the same anymore.

What a painful thought.

It made him squirm and whine just like the other and maybe due to reflex Gavins arms tightened around his chest, burying his face there. A mutter escaped the king and it could be a whimper or a sound to comfort him but he lost the ability to tell.

So Ryan shushed him down, knowing that his family might not even live in the house anymore or in this city or in this country or live at all.

He remembered his little girl sleeping in her crib as he bent down to kiss her forehead and his little boy who had asked what was going on. Barely four years old but noticing that something was off, still he giggled when he picked him up, spun him around and held him tight. Pressing a kiss on his hair and his cheeks and tried to laugh with him even though it crushed his heart.

“Daddy has to go.”  
“I don't want you to go.”

“But I have to.”

“When will you be back?”  
 _Don't leave me._

And he had put him back down, took his bag that was too light for the journey. Kissing Laurie, assuring her that he was alright, knowing that she was going to be alright.

Telling them he loved them.

Hasty as he wasn't able to put his feelings in words. It reached her, he knew that.

He hoped it had reached his children.

Wandering through cities and kingdoms he didn't know. Killing when he felt it was necessary, feeling the same rush as the first time. Maybe it was good he wasn't with them. The things he learned about himself on his lonely journey were scary and dark and mostly drenched in red but that was alright.

He didn't know those people and most of them had deserved it. Not all but most.

And then this rumor. Kill the king, become the king.

How funny! How funny it would be to become the king of a country! To rule over an army and beat Werringtal! Beat King Ingrar and free his name and make his wife a strong queen and his son a proud prince and his daughter a wonderful princess.

What a funny thought for a vagabond!

He was surprised by himself when it nearly worked out.

If it hadn't been for Ray who he had envied for his courage, standing at his side no matter how much he despised him, making him open up bit by bit.

If it hadn't been for Michael who was so strong on the field and so much stronger at heart, loyal and protective to him even though he had killed his king.

If it hadn't been for Gavin, showing him what could hide under smiles and jokes, stepping in front of him and threatening that he had survived the Nether, that he would survive the madness sitting on the throne.

Telling him: “You killed my father.”

And he was sorry, so sorry because there was love and devotion in those words and he never wanted to destroy families. That was a thing he cherished more than anything.

He couldn't be sorry though because he was the Mad King and he had to be ruthless and he shouldn’t care. He shouldn't care of a fallen prince he didn't know or about a warriors tears as he forced him to do his job and kill that terrible woman.

He shouldn't care when Ray stood in front of him with the beautiful rose crown, his deadly rapier in hand and asked for him to stop. He shouldn't feel betrayed by that, he shouldn't feel hurt, he shouldn't think about hesitating if he wanted to be close to his family again.

He shouldn't even think for the briefest of seconds to put his crown down and give the throne to the knight, knowing he had a pure heart and could become great with a little help. To put his crown down and ask to stay here, to finally settle because he was oh so tired and he liked them, he liked them because he saw their potential, he saw their hearts and their love for each other and it was still pure and what a sin it would be to taint it.

He couldn't protect it.

As he came back from the Nether they were gone or twisted or broken and Michael had desperately searched for his help to ease it and Gavin had hated him with a fiery passion and Ray was dead and no one told him how and why and he didn't want to ask.

Then he had locked Michael away and tried to make it alright, tried to maybe help a bit but Gavin had fallen apart beneath his hands, on the brink of insanity and death. And suddenly he was also gone and Michael wouldn't talk and he couldn't tell Michael that everything had gone to hell, that he had failed.

Until Ray had been back, a shadow of himself, full of hate and red and madness. But still devotion and love towards his friends, unbreakable by years of training. The night was a rush of blood and pain and terrible mistakes until Gavins words had cut through the mess: _“The truth is, I wish you were dead!”_

He had wished that too at dark times.

“ _I wish I had never seen your face even once!”_

But hadn't they played chess and laughed? Hadn't he forced him to eat and stay alive?

“ _You ruined everything!”_

He was sorry.

He pulled Gavin closer, the Gavin laying with him, the Gavin who would hopefully never say such dark words again.

“ _And Geoff had always said a good King needs three things.”_

Only gentle ones to him with that smile. Or the crushing ones, the truths that tore at his insides and dared to break him to pieces. The ones he didn't allow himself to spill before.

“ _It hurts that I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough.”_

So that he could take the weight, reflect it maybe. Show him the truth, show him what was real and what was a portray of his haunted mind.

“ _Lastly; a mirror.”_

To protect what little of him was left. And yes, to maybe share his own weight as well. To learn not to carry everything on his own.

“ _And that's you.”_

“I won't go.”, he whispered into the messy hair he loved so much. “I won't leave you, never. I want you to be certain of that fact, to never doubt it. You won't be alone because I am here and Ray is here and Michael is here. We will look after each other, alright?”

Gavin couldn't hear him, he was sleeping his tiring sleep but maybe it reached a part of him because his breathing eased and he sighed satisfied. Turning into a warm weight on top of him instead of a feverish madman.

Good, Ryan was glad. He loved his family, he loved them dearly, he loved the thought of being with them again but he was too realistic to ignore the fact that it would never be the same.

They had changed and he had changed and now they were on separate ways and he wished them the best, he wished them all the luck in the world.

But he had a new family, a second chance to hopefully make it alright this time and he was damned if he didn't fight for it.

 

When Gavin finally did wake up he felt exhausted and his head hurt. Forcing himself to open his eyes, he found Ryan above him, observing his face. A silent question how he was doing, if he was alright and the king wondered why that was, why he was in his bed and what had happened. His brain served him those memories gladly and no, he was not alright, he wasn't doing good.

“It's nearly time for breakfast.”, his counselor reminded him and with a heavy sigh he began to sit up. Hands tugged him right back until he laid down on the others chest.

“Would you mind if we stayed for a few minutes longer?”, Ryan asked and the king blinked surprised. Crooking his neck, he took in the others face but found no discomfort there, no sadness.

“What happened?”, he finally asked.

“Don’t really know how to explain it. I think I just let something go; not a weight because that is something bad but similar. I feel lighter now but scared. Yeah, I am a bit scared.”

Confused the king raised his brows but the other had closed his eyes, so relaxed like he could go right back to sleep. So Gavin laid back down, getting comfortable himself as he tugged at the others hand shyly. Ryan understood and moved it into his hair and the king also closed his eyes, thinking about how fortunate he was after all, how thankful he was for the people around him.

He didn't waste a thought on the dark voices that had dared to drown him yesterday, letting them get wiped away by the soft strokes in his hair and the familiar warmth. Still not sure if he was comforting Ryan or if it was the other way around, he whispered a quick thank you against his skin, getting a hum in return.

Maybe it didn't matter after all.

 

Ray and Michael came in half an hour later and all four of them headed to the dinning hall. Gavins good mood faltered a bit as they met up with Geoff, Lindsay and Jack and when he had to sit through the entire breakfast to listen as Ingrar apologized over and over again.

He was going to wonder about the hows and whys later, maybe sit down with Ryan to figure out if the intruders had been after him or maybe after the princess. That could also be a possibility.

So when he was granted some free time until he was going to have an audience with Ingrar and after Geoffs troupes headed towards the library, his spirit lifted again, talking lightly with Michael. It was then as the princess caught up to him, two guards on her heels: “Gavin? Do you have a moment?”

A bit caught off guard, he waited until she stood in front of him: “Um... sure. What do you need?”

“Would you like to accompany me in the gardens for a little walk?”, she asked immediately and he knew he couldn't turn that down.

“It'd be my pleasure.” She linked their arms as she guided him down the hallways and Gavin was aware that the other three were stifling their laughs, waiting at the gate when they stepped outside. Throwing them a quick look, he rolled his eyes when both Ray and Michael were making kissing motions towards him, not bothering about the two guards who were watching them in a mix of amusement and disbelieve.

Not even Ryan stopped them!

And with that in mind the king flipped off all three of them behind his back before returning his attention back to Claudia.

“I wanted to give you two gifts!”, she explained eagerly, leading him on the small path, not bothering to take in the pretty flowers along the way.

“Gifts? But for what?”, he asked confused.

“I'll tell you but please don't get mad, alright?”

“I won't.”

Throwing a look behind, she made sure they weren't seen or heard from the gate anymore before she stopped in front of a large bush, containing a massive amount of the orange flowers she also had in her hair: “First gift would be the seed to this plant right here. It's called Repeant and can only be found in Werringtal.”

“Alright..?”, he muttered because yes, that was a nice giving but why the sneakiness?

“Please let me explain.”, she continued, plucking one of the flowers and offering it to him. “This flower repels endermen. Keeping one close to you is like a charm.”

“Really?” Excited, Gavin took a hold on it, his fingers grazing the gentle petals.

“It's true. We don't know what it is exactly, if it's the smell or the color or something completely different. We experimented a bit with it but what we got out of it was merely a neurotoxin, strong enough to paralyze a human in a few seconds.”

“This is amazing, Claudia! Thank you so much!”

She smiled: “You're welcome! Would it be rude to ask for something in return?”

“Anything!”

“Well you see... it was a few months ago when the endermen started to get aggressive and traveling without Repeant was nearly a suicide! My father and Venyor tried a lot of things to calm them down but nothing seemed to work.” Her face darkened at the memory, her eyes locked at the simple flower in his hands: “In the end... you see we were getting desperate! The flower withers after a few days and it was nearing winter in which it won't bloom so my father decided on some... more drastic methods. You see... our portal is under our control for generations and we actually acquired keys to open or close it.”

The king shivered as he slowly understood: “You opened it.”

“We hoped they would go back from where they came but instead more came forth! I guess we should have seen it coming but it was our last hope!”, she pleaded with him, her hands closing around his. “It was then that the endermen formed some sort of... alliance! They were seen in large groups and then suddenly they disappeared!”

“They found their way into my kingdom.”

“I know. They reacted to something there and we sent out spies, checking what it was.” The hands left him: “Such strange rumors, Gavin! Rumors about demons and betrayal – about monsters in human form ruling from above! It was terrifying and I didn't believe any of it! But some of that... seems to be true... I see the broken bond between you and Lord Geoffrey, I see that you are way closer to your guards and lastly yesterday...” She stopped, searching for the right words: “I saw your knight get hurt! I saw the dagger hitting his shoulder and today it's nothing! He moves his arm like before, no wincing, no pain – nothing! He healed!”

Gavin flinched at that stupid mistake, swearing beneath his breath about how careless that had been. If he hadn't been occupied with other thoughts...

“He's a demon, isn't he?”, Claudia continued. “Like the rumors said. I bet all of your fellows are. And that's what attracts the endermen, that's what makes them so aggressive.”

“Claudi-”

“You endangered my kingdom and we returned the favor. We are even on that. So I will give you the seeds of the Repeant and I will keep the portal closed under one condition.”

“What condition?”, he asked, feeling a shiver running down his spine at how serious she was growing.

“You will marry me. A fake marriage.”, the princess explained plainly. “I will become your wife and the moment my father gives up his throne I want to be in control of Werringtal. I want to be the Queen of this kingdom. You will not interfere with my business and I do the same for you.”

Gavin stared at her a bit dumbfounded and she actually chuckled lightly before waving to her right. Turning, he hadn't even noticed the second gate there and watched the handful of guards coming towards them. One of them was holding a little box and was offering it to the princess.

“That right here is my second present.” Long fingers took out the strange device, holding it with both hands. It seemed to be quiet heavy. “This is a gun, a new form of weapon. There is black powder in the back that gets ignited. The force will shoot out a bullet from this barrel here. If it hits a human in the right place it leaves heavy damages with barely any chance of survival.”

The coldness of steel was pressed against his forehead and Gavins eyes widened. Claudia smiled sadly before sighing: “You see, even if I keep the portal closed it won't avoid the problem. The endermen will still hunt down the demons with the amount of them roaming in your borders, hurting innocent people on their way. We need to sacrifice some to their realm to calm them down.”  
“Claudia.”

“I'm sorry. I know you love them, you have to be blind to not see that but if we sent the demons into The End the endermen will follow! It would erase both of our problems!”

“Please don't do this.” The guards took hold of his arms, twisting them on his back before forcing him on his knees. All the while his eyes didn't leave her face and neither did the gun shake.

His mind was a twirling whirlwind of consuming fear because he clearly remembered the guards standing at the other gate, probably only waiting for a signal: “Don't take them away from me.”

“Please forgive me. I have to look out for my people, that's my duty.”, she whispered before handing the gun to one of her men. “I'll take the other troupe and head to the library, you give the sign to the front gate. I want them alive for the sacrifice and I don't want a scratch on Gavin. Bring him to the throne room.”

“Claudia, please.”

She didn't even look at him: “Use the gun on the knight with the red coat, the small one. He is fast so be careful. I don't care if you shoot him in the head, just make sure he is down for good even if it might be enough to kill him; we don't know. He can heal so be extremely careful around him and restrict him!”

“No!” Gavin tried to get on his feet but he was pressed back down, forceful hands in his hair until his face was in the soft grass. They wouldn't have time to prepare! None of them!

Fighting against the weight on him, he managed to take a huge breath and screamed at the top of his lungs: “Ray! Ray, it's a-”

“Shut him up!”

His face collided once more with the ground but he fought with a cry, lifting his head with the strength of desperation: “It's a trap, Ray! It's a trap!” Because Ray would listen. Ray would listen and would charge, getting away from the guards right next to him and Michael and Ryan would be on his feet and Ryan would maybe understand. They could be safe! If they didn't get a jump on them they could be safe!

A boot slammed against his head, making him see stars but he still called out the name.

“Go Princess! Go and follow the plan! We can take this from here!”, someone above him said.

“Be safe, I beg you!” That was Claudia and then he heard her retreat. It didn't matter because he saw the blur of red first. With the rapier in his hand as Ray dashed mindlessly through some bushes. His eyes took in the situation quickly and the brown faded as he howled. Behind him came Michael and Ryan and on their heels were the two guards. Gavin tried to warn them but got a mouth full of grass instead. He didn't know how but his counselor seemed to get it, turning towards them right when one of them launched themselves at him. They crashed and Gavin screamed when he saw how something sharp was impaled into the others throat before the guard simply let Ryan fall down and went on.

Ray avoided a strike with ease and crashed into the two people who were holding him, freeing his king. Skidding over the ground, he drove his rapier into the chest of one of them as he rolled over the body to dodge a stab. Getting back to his feet, he spun around and managed to land a kick on the second before slicing his throat as he was searching for his balance.

Gasping for air, the smell of blood greeted him. Full and red and warm and it really had been a long time since a serious fight, hadn't it? This time he welcomed it like an old friend, shaking it of his blade with a flick of his wrist.

Gavin was alright, now on his knees when Ray moved past him to get an overview of the situation. Three guards were charging at him and Michael was easily dealing with two further in the back. Ryan was on the ground unmoving, making Ray shiver with the sight of it and Gavin was scrambling to his feet to reach him.

Twisting his hand in the stubborn hair, he pushed the king back down as a sword crashed against his rapier. It had been an easy move, more reflex than anything and he was ready to take the hit of the second guard with his body if he had to.

He could heal.

Only that he had never seen the device the other was carrying and was now forcefully pressed beneath his chin. The knight grunted, trying to shake it off. Shake the coldness off and check on Gavin who was screaming his name when he heard a loud bang and went out like a light.

The king screamed as the blood hit his face and Rays body buried his own. He was freed in an instant, two men taking a hold on his arms and dragging him away. The third was working on the gun and Gavin saw how he put new black powder in it, realizing he was going for another shot.

Getting his feet on the ground, he threw his weight against his restraints: “No! Don't you dare! Ray! Ray, stand up!”

Nobody listened to him as a bullet was loaded into the gun and with a roar the king broke free, stumbling to his feet and leaving both men behind with burned hands. The second shot made him nearly go deaf as he watched how Rays body twitched with the impact before he himself crashed into the guard.

They both fell to the floor and with a cry Gavin pressed his hand flat onto the others face, listening to the screams and the hissing as the skin began to burn. The man underneath him bucked forcefully, throwing him of and got to his knees, half blind from pain.

It didn't matter anymore when Mogar took his head in a clean cut before Michael was tackled. He stayed on his feet, kicking the other in the guts before flinging him away. The sword of the second crashed against Mogar but the warrior didn't even flinch. Under normal circumstances Michael wouldn't be able to help himself, teasing the other with a snarky remark but now his face was serious and concentrated.

Deadly.

Gavin couldn't help but shiver, turning away to crawl towards Ray. His stomach flipped as he took in the destroyed head of his friend and the immense rush of blood still coming from him.

“He can heal.”, he whispered to himself, hoping that his memory wasn't failing him on that part. These were huge wounds and on top of that he was bleeding out. “He can heal!” The blood would turn into petals soon. Very soon. Ray wasn't going to die before his gift began to work!

He can heal.

He can heal.

He can heal!

Michael screamed. It was surprisingly high and laced with shock.

Gavin turned around, finding the warrior on the grass unmoving, one of the guards sitting on his chest. There was a dagger in his hand, red pearls tripping down on the others face as it was raised again.

“No!”, the king yelled, searching for his own dagger he had nearly forgotten. He wasn't as strong as Michael or as fast as Ray, it was a crushing realization when he couldn't reach until his friend was stabbed again.

He collided with the man, landing on top of him and brought his own dagger down with a cry. It sunk in the flesh of his cheeks, making the guard cry in pain as he ripped it back out, stabbing again and again like he had seen the other do, screaming at the top of his lung.

Not louder than Michael.

Michael was howling next to him, unable to move as the blood ran in his curls, making them stick together. It only agitated Gavin more, bringing his hand down over and over because Ray was hurt and he didn't know what happened to Ryan and oh god, please stop screaming, please stop screaming boy, he couldn't hear his own thoughts just stop, stop, stop. He could only feel the burn in his muscles and the spray on his face, the wet drops running down his cheeks. A mix of Rays blood and the unknown man beneath him that had long stopped fighting back.

His face a mess of flesh and bones and red and he hadn't even noticed that his dagger had broken but he had hurt _Michael_. He had _hurt_ his strong warrior! How dare he!

Gavin noticed the footsteps too late, too occupied with his mind and when he looked up he got kicked straight in the face.

Howling at the pain, he was flipped onto his back, a weight on his arms pinning him down. His head felt like it would explode like Rays had and he gasped for air before a single hand wrapped itself around his throat. A faint gargle escaped his lips as he forced his watery eyes open.

The guard above carried some form of needle and finally Gavin understood. He tried to free his arms but it was futile. So he burned him.

The flames erupted from his body, wandering over the others arms and then Michaels screams weren't the loudest anymore. The king kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see but not stopping until the pressure on his throat vanished and a weight dropped on him.

Taking a much needed breath, he nearly threw up at the smell, quickly pushing the body from himself to roll onto his stomach. Coughing and gagging he forced oxygen down his lungs, blinking to finally see clearly. To see if someone else was charging at him, threatening to hurt him or one of the others and he wouldn't allow it!

But there was no other movements in the garden and so he carefully got to his knees, the world twisting and turning and he saw blood trip on his hands and he couldn't tell if it was his own.

A scream gave him the last strength to move and he crawled to the warrior.

“Michael. Michael, Michael!”, he whimpered, wiping the terrible red from his forehead.

_What we got out of it was merely a neurotoxin._

He found the needle in his shoulder, pulling it out.

_Strong enough to paralyze a human in a few seconds._

The howling didn't stop and Gavins voice was too hoarse to rival it in anyway.

“Please calm down. Please!”, he tried to shush him, knowing it was useless. Sniffing he looked around for help but there was nobody else around. Besides hopefully Ryan.

Whimpering, the king looked back down: “I'll be right back. Michael, you hear me? It'll only take a second, please stay calm!” But Michael didn't hear him and Michael wasn't calm, he was taking a huge breath and continued screaming and Gavin quickly kissed him on the cheek before forcing himself to stand up.

He was still coughing, tripping more than he was running towards his counselor, scared of what he might find. Or didn't find.

Sniffing, he fell to his knees, crawling next to the man and carefully guided him onto his back. Blue eyes looked up at him, widening with shock and Gavin nearly started crying with relieve. With shaking hands he found the needle with the poison in the others neck before yanking it out.

“What happened?”, Ryan asked but it sounded like he was tired, trying his hardest to stay awake. “Are you hurt?”

The king shook his head but he wasn't even sure. His face felt numb and sticky and he didn't want to think about the why. “Michael is.”, he whimpered instead. “Michael is really badly hurt and Ray is too. Ray can heal right? He will be fine!”

“Of course.”

“Ryan.”, it came out as a sob as the horror of what had happen slowly caught up to him. Wanting to hide his bloody face, he stopped himself because his hands had the same color and he knew it was Michaels. “What should I do?”, he cried, beginning to shake even thought he wasn't cold.

“It were Claudias knights, right? Are anyone of them still here?”

“N-no.”

“Alright.” Looking down, Ryan focused on his hand, slowly bending his finger. “The poison is passing, it will need a few minutes though. Can you hold this place until then?”

Looking around, Gavin seemed helpless until he nodded fast: “I will try. But I should get back to Michael, he's in pain.”

“Sure.” The counselor tried to sit up but his muscles still didn't listen and he slumped back down. Grunting lowly, he mumbled: “Can you take me with you? If you keep us closer together it's easier to have an overview.”

The king nodded again and was reaching to take a hold of the other when both of them noticed a movement from the gate.

Reinforcements.

Around twenty guards if he was right, if not more. Gavin felt his heart grow heavy as he slowly stood up. No way he could hold them back. No way to hold them back until Ryan was on his feet again.

His counselor seemed to see it the same: “Run.”

“No.”

“Gavin. Run! That's an order!”

“No!” He wouldn't. He wouldn't leave them behind because only bad people got left behind and they were warm and gentle and home and he loved them so much.

Bending down, he drew Ryans sword. It was nearly familiar in his hands but he wished he had his bow. He really did.

But that wasn't an option anymore. Ignoring Ryan yelling at him, he stepped towards the guards: “Stay right there, servants of Werringtal!”

They didn't falter but he heard them whisper: “That's the King.” “Don't harm him, King Ingrar wants him.” “Do whatever you want to the others, just keep them alive.”

Gavin felt his breath hitch: “If you step any closer I will kill each and every one of you!” He was ready to do it, even if he wasn't sure how. His determination letting the runes of the sword glow in a dim light.

They didn't listen. Of course not.

One of them charged and he was fast. Not as fast as Ray but fast. Gavin barely managed to bring his sword forth to block the other one, making both of them stumble back thanks to the enchantment and even though it had caught the knight off guard, he had more experience and drove the hilt of his weapon into his stomach. Losing his breath, the king gagged before sitting down hard as the man just walked past him.

Gasping, he reached out and tried to grab his leg but a boot pushed against his spine, forcing him onto his stomach. The impact was hard, his nose grew warm and he felt the blood flow down his already numb face.

A hand found his hair, ripping him onto his knees and he was face to face with an unknown man.

Gray eyes.

Cold eyes.

“You guys killed quite a bunch of my men. Have to admit I'm not a fan of that.”

His arms were twisted behind his back and Gavin winced. His crown was taken from his head and carelessly thrown away.

“I'm really bad with remembering faces, you see.”, the man with the gray eyes assured him. “And without your crown how should I know that you are the King?”

He was kicked in the chest, making him lose his breath again as he doubled over, trying not to throw up. Something collided with his head, knocking his whole form to the side. Gasping harshly, Gavin was still held up as he tried to think straight but his head hurt and his everything hurt as he tried to concentrate on his fire without any success. He managed to open his eyes again, facing the ground and watched the blood trip down in lazy patterns.

“Royals never take much.”, the man spoke. “And I still need you mostly unharmed. Lucky you! Beat the others until they are unconscious, use the poison if you need to. Just don't kill them.”

“No!”, Gavin managed to bring out, stirring against the grip.

“How cute of you!” A hand found his chin, tilting it up until he could see ahead. “You want to watch? Sure!”  
His and Ryans eyes met and again he tried to break free but was easily held back. His counselor had managed to sit up halfway but was already surrounded by men who only waited for the order.

“Don't hurt them! Don't even dare to lay a finger on them!”

His head was tilted back in a painful angle so that he could look straight into the gray eyes of the other: “Why don't you beg me, your Highness?”

“I warn you!”, Gavin snarled instead.

“That wasn't nice. Try again.”

“Help me!”

A confused laugh: “Not quite but we're getting there!”

“Help me!” The king wasn't even staring at the man above him, his gaze went over his shoulder into the sky: “Help me!”

“Damn, you are pretty bad at this.”

“I demand you to help me!”

“Even getting worse!”

“I brought you out! Now help me! I demand it!”

“What? Did you already lo-”

“Come forth and burn them all! That's an order!”, the king screamed.

The man turned around and the gray eyes found the small bird. There was fire in its wings and then the fire became the world.

It was screaming, a raging scream as the red and the yellow consumed everything. Gavins mind went dull. Filled by only flames and screams and chirps and please, please protect them. Please, I need them!

The hands holding him up vanished and he hit the ground inside this whirlwind, trying to catch his breath. The air was hot, he could tell, feeling it scraping in his lungs but it was the ash swirling around, coming from dead plants and dead grass and other dead things that made him cough.

_Are you afraid of the dark?_

Curling up, he covered his ears against the noises but it was too loud.

_Are you?_

The bird sat in front of him, the head crooked slightly. Its eyes were dark, the fire reflecting in it.

_Are you afraid?_

The words left red lines in his brain, burning as he threw his head back, screaming to make another noise.

_-the dark?_

“Stop!”

_You were a bad boy. You have done the really, really,_ really _bad thing._

“I warned them! I warned them to stay back!”

_Bad boys deserve to be punished._

“They were the ones who deserved that! They were bad! I warned them!”, he desperately screamed against the voice who was always so much stronger than himself. Now there was laughter in his head and it was familiar because it came out of his own mouth and it burned like the flames around him, raging towards the sky. He tried to cover his mouth but then he had to let go of his ears and the noises grew with that, so he managed to pitch the laughter into a scream, making the burning worse. The pain strained his mind and he tried to shake it off, his back arching from the ground as his head broke open, crashed and burned and exploded like Rays.

Oh god, be alright, Ray. Be alright, Ryan. Be alright, Michael.

It stopped.

The pain simply was gone, no fading but simply nothing. Curling to his side, he cried into the dead grass, his body shaking violently. The bird was still there and hadn't moved. Ember in each feather.

He wanted to flee, to roll away, to just get far away. That wasn't possible because it was a part of him.

The fire in front of him died down, granting him a look at the garden again. More guards, this time from the other entrance. Carefully nearing Ray and Michael.

Howling, Gavin rolled onto his belly, trying to get on his feet but he was drained. “Burn them!”, he whispered fast. “Burn them. Kill them. Stop them!”

He knew it was already too late, that they were gathering around Michael right now and he would burn his friend too.

_Are you afraid of the dark?_

“Yes!”, he yelled at the bird. “Is it that what you want to hear? Yes, I am! Now serve me! I brought you out of the Nether, listen to me!”

The bird spread its pretty wings and then Gavin couldn't remember anything anymore.

 

When they had captured Gavin, Ryan had fought against his invisible restrains, managing to sit up shaking. It was kind of impressive, considering the only slowly fading paralysis still roaming in his blood. Their eyes had met for a brief moment and he knew he wouldn't be fast enough. No matter how much he fought against the poison; he was surrounded and in no condition to fight.

There was a distant spark that caught his eyes before the world exploded into flames. The men he had barely paid a look around him vanished in the colors and his instincts made him fall back, turn his back and hide his face in the ground.

The fire didn't reach him but the heat did. Making aching fingers travel over every skin they could find as the screams were raised.

They died down quickly, leaving a lonely one behind. The counselor tried to pretend he didn't recognized it. That was impossible, not over the terrible noises around him.

It took a while until his arms moved again and he managed to cover his ears against the heat and the uproar. He still noticed it when the fire shifted away from him.

Turning around, he watched it travel towards the back of the garden and he figured Gavin was moving inside of it.

There were some new voices, screaming for retreat and to hurry and after that it finally grew quiet. Quiet besides the still roaming flames which never faltered, sending smoke up into the sky.

Taking a heavy breath that hurt his lungs, his first attempt ended in a coughing fit. The second worked better and he brought out a hoarse: “Gavin!”

It was like someone had frozen the flames.

“Enough!” Ryan got on his knees, trying to organize his feet beneath him: “Gavin! Stop this!”

The flames in front of him died down and he was finally able to see his king behind the twisting hot air. His coat and hair and scarf waved in the heat and blood was still dripping from his chin and hands, dark from the ash swirling around.

His eyes were empty and dark but his mouth moved, forming silent words.

“Put the fire out!”, Ryan screamed. He wasn't going to walk through that small corridor. Not with the little control he had over his limps. “They are gone, right?”

Whisper he couldn't hear over the distance but now that he concentrated on the others lips it seemed to be the same word over and over again.

“Come here Gavin! I can't understand you! Put the fire out and come closer!”

Michael.

That was the word he chanted.

Michael, Michael, Michael.

_Michael is really badly hurt._

Ryan shivered at that thought, worry curling up in his belly like a heavy weight. “I'll help Michael! But you have to stop the flames, Gavin!”

The fire vanished, exposing the horror it had created. Ryan didn't let his gaze drop, keeping his eyes locked with Gavins so that the other wouldn't do it either.

“Good.”, he muttered but it felt loud against the sudden silence. “Good work. You did good.”

The unfamiliar eyes of the others suddenly overflowed. “Michael.”

“Alright. Let's look after Michael. Stay there and look at me. Can you do that?”

Apparently not because his eyes rolled until the white was clearly visible as he began to sway dangerously. Gavin hit the ground, sending a rush of ash into the air.

Swearing beneath his breath, Ryan forced himself to his feet. It hurt because his muscles weren't ready just yet and he moved carefully, dropping down twice before he reached the king.

He was awaited by the small bird sitting on Gavins shoulder, looking at him. It chirped a high and strangely familiar tune. It took him a moment to recognize the melody Gavin sometimes hummed and he felt like the bird wanted to tell him something.

If so, he was too blind to tell.

He rather let his eyes travel, finding Ray a bit further in a pool of his own blood. A lot of red for such a small body. It made him swallow dry but Ray could heal.

Ray could heal.

What worried him more was the fact that he couldn't find Michael. He remembered that the warrior had run with him the moment Ray had charged into the garden. He remembered the look he had thrown over his back when he himself had gasped as the guard had forced the needle into his neck.

He had told him to help Ray and Gavin. He was alright, help them.

Now he was gone.

_Michael is really badly hurt._

He couldn't be one of the black masses on the ground, barely resembling human bodied anymore, right? No.

Gavin or rather his demon had control over the flames. They hadn't reached himself or Ray.

As he cast his eyes down again the bird was gone. Falling down graceless, he rolled the king onto his back: “Gavin?”

The lids fluttered open but his gaze was unfocused. Like yesterday on the way to his room.

“Gavin? Can you hear me? Are you alright?”

No nod, no _yes_ , no _I am fine_. With careful touches, Ryan sat him up and he stayed like that. But the body didn't feel familiar, no warmth even thought it should be hot to the touch being inside the fire.

“Gavin?”

He was farther gone than yesterday.

This wasn't the place to worry about that. They needed to move, to reach the library, to alert the others. If they weren't already too late for that.

“Can you stand?”, he asked that just to try and maybe to fill the silence. But the body in front of him listened, slowly getting up and waited there.

It was scary but also fortunate for them.

“I'll get Ray. You stay here.” He wondered which of his words reached and which didn't.

Getting back up was harder for him than it had been for Gavin and he managed with a strong huff. He could already feel the first stings of cramps in his legs as he hobbled towards Ray, swallowing before taking the picture in.

A lot of blood and a lot of hurt. A normal person would be dead for sure. Without a doubt, probably in mere seconds. But the closer Ryan got, the stronger he felt the presence of something else there. He couldn't remember feeling Rays demon so close to the surface before which just proved how severe the wounds were and how much of a toll it took.

And now he could feel Edgar react to the other two demons who were so present, curling and twisting somewhere inside of him, making Ryan gasp for air. His already weak legs gave out, making him tumble down next to the knight. The impact was wet and he didn't want to think why that was, he just closed his eyes and waited until his breathing evened out. Composing himself because he couldn't count on anyone else right now. He had to get both of them to safety where he had time to take care of their bruises.

Reaching blindly, he found Ray, pulling the broken body closer and cradling him against his chest. Poor boy. Poor, brave boy.

Ryan forced himself back on his feet, ignoring the protests of his legs that demanded to rest, to wait until the poison was finally gone and maybe some more. They didn't have that luxury.

“Gavin.”, he called out, finding the king further away then where he left him. But he was holding tightly to his crown, the silver red from the heat. That was good. That meant he at least took his surroundings in. Even more, considering Gavin turned towards him, the sword in his other hand.

“Good.”, Ryan muttered as he slowly came closer, his steps slower with the additional weight. “Can you give it to me? Or do you want to keep it for now?”

With unsteady movements, the king carefully placed it on the sheath it belonged in. Now with a free hand he reached out shyly.

Pushing Rays dead weight a bit higher, Ryan took hold of it, leading him on as their fingers intertwined tightly.

 

“Lord Geoffrey!”

It was a rough awakening out of the quiet reading and Lindsay flinched at the high voice of the princess. Claudia was running into the library towards the middle where they were seated, guards tailing behind her and the guardian knew that something was wrong.

Geoff was sitting two seats next to her, already on his feet at the urgent sound: “What happened?”

Jack, also alerted by the voice was coming from between two shelves nearer to the entrance, standing between the guards and if Lindsay had kept her eyes on him things might have played out differently. So she watched a bit surprised how Claudia hugged the first king apparently in a search for comfort and only turned around when Jack yelled his name.

Because two needles were embedded into the blacksmiths arm and finally Lindsay jumped from her chair, trying to dodge the guard that went for her but she felt the impact on her shoulder.

Gasping surprised, she saw in the corner of her eye how Claudia shoved the last needle into Geoffs back. Reaching for her scythe, she felt the enchantment jump to live and with a wide swing the blade cut through the throat of the guardian who attacked her before halting in front of Claudias face.

The movement in the room finally died down at the sudden stalemate while the two women looked at each other. Both determined and without shame as blood slowly dripped on the dress of the princess.

“It's poison, Lindsay.” That was Jack and it sounded weaker than she ever wanted to hear that man. “Get the needle out, it's fast.” And she heard the loud thump when he went down but she didn't lower her eyes for a second, waiting like everyone else for the inevitable.

But it didn't happen, she didn't feel it tingle or a numbness creeping up her chest. But she saw Geoff struggle with it and with a cold voice she instructed Claudia: “Pull it out.”

The princess didn't move, also waiting until realization slowly crept into her bright eyes: “Enderman-armor.”

That had to be it. The needle in Lindsays shoulder couldn't pierce through, not reaching her skin. “Damn right. Now do as I say.”

The guard closest to her stirred, maybe reaching for his own weapon but she wasn't having it: “Move one more time and I will cut her fucking throat! If you want to have the blood of your beloved Princess on your hands just go for it! I'll beat you into a pulp anyway!” The man froze and with a smirk Lindsay put her attention back to Claudia: “Pull the needle out.”

Slowly she did so and Geoff stumbled sluggishly towards the guardian. Moving in front of him, Lindsay slowly pushed him back, her eyes moving to where she had last seen Jack, frowning when the strong man was easily withheld by a single guard.

But her reaction was nothing against Geoffs: “Jack! Quite playing around!”

The first king was trying to get past her and she grabbed him with one hand to hold him back.

“Get him out.”, the voice of the blacksmith was calm and she slowly nodded. Moving backwards a bit more, she knew that she would soon lose the advantage of holding Claudia as a hostage because her weapon could only extend so far. They would have to run and by the staggering movement of the man behind her she wasn't sure if that would work out.

A neurotoxin by the looks of it.

Clever.

A sword was pressed against Jacks throat and the guardian froze. They couldn't leave him behind! But she couldn't fight all of them!

Her brain was still searching for a solution when Geoff screamed behind her, pushing her out of the way and she barely got a hold of his coat. It was useless, even with the poison inside of him, he dragged her along.

“You will put that weapon down!”, he demanded fiercely. “You will let this man go if you want to keep what is dear to you! Right now! I do not guarantee for any of your safety here!”

“Geoff!” Reaching out, Lindsay grabbed him by the shoulder, pulling him back again but he was fighting like a wild animal.

“Hurt him and I will run this country over! No stone will be left unturned and no human will be left in my way! I will find you Claudia! You and your father and you will wish for your death! You will beg for me to kill you if I get my hand on you! And I will not!”

Fear was clearly visible on the princess' face and with a wide swing Lindsay knocked her down as she finally managed to drag Geoff along, ordering to run. He screamed right back, screamed after Jack to get his ass up and follow them and she wanted to stop. To stop and give in and storm right back, jump into the crowd of guards and maybe she could slay them.

She would have done it if the blacksmith wasn't telling her to flee and bring Geoff and herself to safety. Normally she shouldn't be able to hear him over the yelling and the chaos but his voice was clear and steady and she listened.

They burst through the backdoor, out into a part of the castle she didn't know. Wasting a brief moment as she tried to orientate herself, she simply ran ahead. The guards were checking on the princess, giving her precious seconds to escape but it wouldn't take long – she hadn't really hurt Claudia.

“Lindsay! No, let me go! Jack is still in there!”

As if she didn't know that!

Geoff stopped on the spot, making both of them stumble and fall down. He was already crawling back before Lindsay managed to grab him again, forcing him on his back to face her: “Don't make me hurt you, Geoffrey! Because I will! I will knock you out if I have to!”

He snarled at her and for a moment she was sure he would draw his weapon, challenging her to fight over it but there were noises coming from a hallways to their right. Obviously reinforcement and finally he gave in. Not without swearing and a enraged growl but both of them stumbled back to their feet and she dragged him along again.

He was still stumbling, the poison finally taking its toll on him but neither of them stopped.

They were already gasping and Lindsay knew they had to rest soon by the mans rigid breath when she came to an halt. Still she had no idea where she was but she had noticed the petals in the corner of her eyes and she had immediately recognized the bright red color.

“Ray?”, she screamed down the hallway, turning around herself as she waited for an answer. That was his blood, she had seen it before how it turned into this bright petals, there was no doubt!

He had been here and had been hurt. So they had also surprised their group.

Hopefully Michael was alright.

“Lindsay?”

Looking up she found Ryan higher up, hiding behind a small railing a floor above them.

“Thank god.”, she muttered relieved before looking around for the stairs. The counselor guided both to them and they quickly hurried the small way along. It lead to a small platform, made to have a nice look over the garden in the summer.

The petals grew more and more on their way until they found a sea of them where Ray rested against the balustrade, his lids heavy and purple against his pale skin, his breathing swallow.

Gavin was next to him, his coat tightly wrapped around him but not ceasing his shivering. He seemed to be conscious but didn't react when they reached them, Geoff collapsing with loud gasps.

“Are you alright?”, Ryan asked without looking up, draping his own coat tightly around the knight,

“I'm not hurt.”, Lindsay replied, crouching down to not be seen from beneath. “You?”

“They used poison and now my muscles hurt. Ray is finally done healing but he will be out for quite a while by the looks of it.”, he explained slowly. “Can you have a look at Gavin?”

“Sure.”, she muttered, shifting to sit right in front of the king. With gentle fingers she lifted his head, frowning at the amount of blood on his body: “Not all of that is his, is it?”

“No.”, Ryan simply said.

Slowly, she examined the others head but besides nasty bruises and a split lip he seemed to be find. Besides the fact that he didn't react even when her touches had to hurt.

“Gav?”, she asked softly. “Gav, are you alright? Does anything else hurt?”

Ryan answered for him: “He needs a moment. I think he is fine.”

“Why doesn't he answer?”

“He is exhausted and scared. He does that sometimes.”

She threw him a worried look: “Ryan...” That wasn't a normal behavior, the king was obviously in a state of shock and the counselor shouldn't act like it was something that happened frequently. But she already saw that knowledge in his eyes and decided to keep it for herself. Instead she let her own eyes wander and felt her heart throb: “Where is Michael?”

He avoided her gaze.

“Ryan!”

“I'm sorry.”, he muttered, shaking his head. “I don't know.”

Suddenly breathing was a hard thing to do and it took a moment until she wasn't choking on it anymore: “He's strong.”

“He is.”, Ryan quickly agreed and she fell silent. Looking out into the garden and frowning at the destruction she observed. And the two endermen on another roof as if they had been lured but also repelled by something.

“Can you fight?” That was Geoff as he sat up, his gaze on the counselor: “Can you still fight?”

Ryan just stared at him and it made the first king growl: “I asked if you can still fight, Haywood!”

Under any other circumstances he wouldn't answer but if the other put himself down to actually using his name it had to be serious. If he wanted to or not; right now they were on the same side: “I can. What do you want to do?”

“They are near the library. Claudia should be there too.” He got back to his feet: “We three should be enough to get close and capture her. If we have her, we have Ingrar.”

“That's too dangerous!”, Lindsay insisted. “We don't know how many guards there are!”

“He has his beast.”, he nodded towards Ryan.

“Funny how you suddenly need my demon.”

“Shut your mouth!”

“What about them?”, the counselor pointed towards Ray and Gavin. “Who will look after them?”

“Leave them here. Nobody should find them.”

“No.”

“I am in no mood for your games, Vagabond! Do as I say!”, Geoff snapped at him but hesitated when their eyes finally met.

“They have Jack, don't they?” It wasn't even a question from Ryan but it made the other fall silent. “They have your mirror and now you can't think straight anymore.”

“I will not leave him behind.”, Geoff said.

“And still you insist for me to do just that.”, Ryan replied slowly and the eyes of the other rested on Gavin for a moment.

“If we wait any longer we will get found.”, the first king explained but he at least sat down again, trying to calm down. “Right now we know where they are and can strike back. If we retreat and leave this castle we can maybe flee and save ourselves but it would take days, maybe weeks to find clues where Jack and Michael are.”

“They wanted us alive, otherwise they wouldn't have used the poison.”

“Alive isn't necessarily the best state to be captured in. None of us knows what they want or what they will do to get what they want!”

“Stop!”, Lindsay pleaded and it sounded like a whimper. “Please... Please, stop talking like that...”

Both of them fell silent, feeling guilty for causing that pain. They didn't get to apologize when a hum filled the air, clear but broken.

Gavin had his hands over his ears, the eyes shot tightly as he rocked back and forth.

“Shit.”, Geoff muttered, reaching out but the counselor was faster than him. Grabbing him by the shoulder but the king flinched immediately, blindly trying to get away.

“Stop that!”, Geoff hissed. “You idiot are only making it worse!” Again he reached out but Ryan took a tight hold on his arm: “Don't you dare touch him! You've done more than enough damage already!”

“Me? You have no idea how to handle him!”

“I just wanted to calm him down!”

Geoff huffed, rolling his eyes: “We don't want to calm him down, we want to wake him!”

“He will wake up when he is ready!” The counselor actually charged at him, trying to get him down but in the next moment he found himself on his back, the other man sitting over him. “He will not simply wake up.”, he snapped at him. “If you leave him like that he will only sink deeper and it will be harder to get him back! You obviously have no idea what to do, so stay down and try not to cause any more harm!”

Ryan tried to get up nonetheless but was pushed back immediately.

“I said; stay down!” And something in Geoffs voice made him listen. With a growl and he wasn't happy but he stayed where he was, noticing that the humming had grown louder as if to block them out.

The first king shifted to Gavins side, sitting down carefully as to not scare him. Leaning closer until his nose was nuzzling the others hair, he whispers into his ear: “Hey Buddy.”

Ryan had tried to talk to him before. From the moment he had found this place to hide until Lindsay had called out but nothing he had said brought a spark into his eyes like it happened right now when the lids fluttered back open.

“Buddy, it's time to wake up now.”, Geoff cooed again. He held his hand up for Gavin to see and he followed the movement. The hum slowly died down.

“Come on, you really have to wake up now.” He curled his fingers into a fist before stretching them again and the king mimicked the movement, his hands still up but not pressed against his ears anymore.

It grew quiet while they were doing that, the only noise was when Geoff stopped for a moment and Gavin started to whine until he continued.

Anger and guilt curled in Ryan stomach like a trapped animal. Anger because Geoff did know what to do and it was actually working. Anger because Gavin would feel terrible if he remembered this scene. Guilt because he himself hadn't known about it. Guilt because he had to punch Gavin to get him out of that trance.

Ryan suppressed both emotion as good as he could and rather watched attentively. Eager to learn.

A sigh escaped the king and his head rolled against Geoffs shoulder, his hands falling in his lap.

“Better now, Buddy?”

“I think I had a nightmare.”, he mumbled, sounding terribly exhausted.

“That's why you had to wake up.”

“But I am tired. So, so tired.”

“You can sleep later.”

Nodding, he sluggishly blinked a few times, quietly counting the petals covering the floor. It took him some time until he understood what he was staring at and he shot back into a sitting position. His eyes traveled to Ray, then to the other people around them, searching but not finding.

“Michael!”, he managed to spit out. “They took him! I couldn't... I would have burned him too, I'm so sorry! We need to find him, he is hurt! Please, we need to hurry! He was in so much pain and-” He was forced to take a breath and stopped himself as he found Lindsays face. She looked at him so lost and scared and he felt the same.

Geoff touched him, making him turn around: “Do you know what they are planning?”

“They want to take them to their portal, I think.”, he explained eagerly. “But I don't know where that is!”

“But we do.”, the first king said and the guardian nodded, now with fire in her eyes. “Let's surprise them just like they did to us.” He stood up, looking down to the destroyed garden and nodded pleased: “They should fear us now; good. Let's show them why this is necessary and why you should never take something that belongs to us. They will pay.”

 

 

_Tell me would you kill to save a life?_   
_Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?_   
_Crash, crash_

_Burn_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, see you next week where we head further into the final


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael could hear how the blacksmith took a shaking breath. Jack wasn't scared, was he? Jack was never scared!  
> That was a fact. Just like Ray was fast and Ryan always had a plan and Jack was always right. Jack was never scared!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "7 Devils" by Florence and The Machine. Sorry guys! *hides in a safe place*

Chapter 11

 

_Holy water cannot help you now_   
_See I've come to burn your kingdom down_   
_And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out_   
_I'm gonna raise the stakes, I'm gonna smoke you out_

 

When Michael woke up his body felt incredibly heavy, nearly daring to suffocate him with its sheer weight. It made his breath pick up, trying to force the oxygen down his lungs to keep him alive.

Someone was yelling. A voice that was usually so calm and collected, sounding angry and it scared him.

“At least bring me some water so that I can clean him!”, Jack screamed, followed by a loud pound. “Ingrar! That's the least you can do!”

The loud noises let pain explode in Michaels head like an out of control fire. Groaning, he let a cold hand rest against his forehead, noticing that he could move his body again. That was good so at least whatever had paralyzed him wasn't permanent.

“Finally! Was that really so hard?”, the blacksmith growled somewhere to his right, sending new stabs into his brain. The warrior tried to open his eyes but they felt like they were sewed shut.

“Don't.” Now Jacks voice was as calm as usually and right next to him. “The blood stuck your lids together, you'll just rip your lashes out. I'll clean it up. He gave me some water, that's the least he could do.”

“Thank you.”, Michael mumbled with a hoarse voice that hurt his throat but he let a relieved sigh pass his lips when the cold cloth found his heated skin. “That feels great...”

The other hummed in agreement, working with gentle wipes while the warrior tried to relax. The pain in his head was still present, waiting to leap at him with a wrong movement. He was constantly moving though because the floor felt like it was shifting: “Where are we?”  
“In some closed wagon. There are no windows but I guess they bring us to their portal.”

“To do what?”

“I'm not sure yet but by now we are alive so that's good.”

“What about the others?”

“Geoff and Lindsay fled from the library. I don't know about the others, sorry.”

So Michael tried to remember. Ryan had gone down and Ray? Yeah, Ray had been hurt badly by something, he was surely out cold by the amount of blood he had seen.

He remembered Gavin screaming above him and then heat, so much heat. Most of all he remembered the sudden pain in his shoulder when his body began to go numb. Mogar too heavy for his weak arms but his pride too strong to let go. Only that this guard had tackled him, sending him helplessly to the ground.

Michael gasped at the memory, opening his eyes and letting the pain roam freely.

A dagger over him, going down with no hesitation, making his entire being burst into a searing light. Fighting and screaming to cover his face but he couldn't. He was entirely at the mercy of the man above him but the guard didn't know that word. The second stab had sent him over the edge and everything after that was a blur between delusion and reality.

“Jack?”

The blacksmith had stopped cleaning him, waiting for the reaction: “Yes?”

“He took my eyes, didn't he?”

“Both of them.”

“Can you fix that?”

“No, Michael. I'm sorry.”

“Alright.”, he closed his useless lids and settled back down. The wet cloth returned, a nice feeling on his irritated skin. It gave him time to think.

So he was blind now. What did that mean?

Well firstly even if he got Mogar back, he couldn't use it anymore. He'd be dead in minutes or would hurt someone he wanted to save. Like the time he had killed Ray.

Yeah, he should avoid doing that again.

Folding his hands over his chest he tried to control his frantic beating heart.

What else?

He'd probably needed help with everything now. The smallest things. Getting dressed, eating maybe. Walking in general.

Now he needed to be protected. From enemies or from fucking stairs.

“Michael?” It sounded like Jack was wringing out the cloth next to him: “Will you let me... I have to clean your wounds.”

“Oh.”, he made, pressing his lips together. He didn't want that. Any of that. “Sure.” Opening his lids again, he still expected to see. To be blinded by sudden light or recognize the others face above him. It didn't happen and for a moment he couldn't remember how Jack even looked like.

Was he already forgetting? He knew this man for so long, how could that be? No, he didn't want to forget! He didn't want to forget that Ray was smaller than him or Gavins little hobble when he was excited or Ryans smirk he always tried to hide!

He didn't want to forget how pretty Lindsay was!

“Michael!”

He hadn't realized he had sat up before Jack called out to him. “I don't want it!”, he exclaimed, trying to locate the other man. “Please make it go away! I really don't want it!”  
“Calm down!”

But he couldn't. Reaching up, he could finally cover his face, wishing he could have done it back then. His fingers traced his lashes before digging in and he was petrified by the emptiness he found. With a hitching breath he began to search because _that couldn't be true! That couldn't have happened!_

“Stop! Michael, stop that!” Jack caught his hands in a tight grip and pulled him against his broad chest: “Calm down! I know it's hard but you have to!”

“I'm blind! I'm blind, Jack!”, he muttered in shock, blinking rapidly. “I don't wanna! It hurts and it feels weird and I don't want it!”

“I know.”, the blacksmith shushed, cradling him a little. And slowly Michaels breathing evened out, the shaking he hadn't noticed before ceased. He was still blind though.

Blind and helpless and that was the worst that could have happened.

Closing his eyes he stayed longer in the embrace, trying to find the necessary strength to go on. Go on and face reality.

It took some time and Jack didn't let go, didn't even speak a word. They just sat there quietly in an unknown location and Michael tried to listen because that's what he had to do now, right?

Listen for nearing steps of people he wouldn't recognize. He wondered if he could even tell if it was a friend or foe. Could he remember what steps his friends took? A bit maybe. Gavin could be really sneaky, right?

And Ray..?

He didn't know.

Sighing darkly, he slowly nodded: “Thank you.”

“It's nothing.”, Jack mumbled when Michael carefully felt his way around before laying back down.

“You wanted to clean... it?”, he asked, trying to brace himself some more.

“Yeah but that won't be nice. You think you can take it?”

“Of course.” It didn't even sound like he was sure, his voice shivering at the mere thought of it but he opened his lids hesitatingly.

It was weird. And not the good weird, how Lindsay used to put it. A bad weird, really, really bad. It was twisting his stomach just thinking that Jack was cleaning his empty eye sockets. Things like that didn't actually happen, right?

But now it did and it sent dagger into his head, making him flinch with each gentle stroke. Jack shushed him down even though he had to also feel pain by the way Michael desperately dug his nails into the others arm, searching for a hold to not swat the others hand away.

And his brain still refused to acknowledge that his eyes were missing, tricking him with the reflex to try and open his lids with each unknown noise. Twisting his thoughts because _there was a touch on a place where it shouldn't be._ A place that Jack _shouldn't be able to reach._

It made him sick in every possible way and when the blacksmith stopped, and told him he did good, Michael turned onto his side and threw up violently.

That only made the pain in his head worse while adding a foul taste in his mouth but he retched again, trembles going through his body with each breath he was able to take.

And the strong warrior started to cry.

He pressed his lids together but the tears still came through, running down his cheeks as he tried to calm his stomach down. Letting his head hang, he knew he now took in the stench of his undigested breakfast but it was better than the sharp pain when the tears reached his hurt sockets, forcing him to think some more.

A big hand was on his back and Michael didn't even know for how long. But it moved in a slow pattern, helping him to relax a bit.

“Sorry.”, he whimpered, disgusted with himself. “Sorry, Jack.”

“Don't be.” The blacksmith gently lead him across the floor, away from the vomit to settle back down. “Try to rest some more.”

“No.”, Michael refused weakly. He couldn't rest now! They were captured and without weapons!

“Michael.”, Jack simply said and oh right, he was blind.

He wasn't of any use anyway.

 

Gavin woke up with a gasp, the bad dream lingering behind his lids some more until he realized he had escaped it. Still his arms tightened around Ray, pulling his sleeping form closer so that he could bury his face in the others hair. Taking calming breaths, the king tried to orientate himself.

They had fled from the castle in a blurring rush and he had concentrated on holding on to Ryan and not get lost as they faced some knights who seemed confused about their appearance but had no reason to stop them.

According to Geoff that meant that the whole assault had been a secret, only revealed to a few chosen knights. It also meant that Ingrar either hadn't yet noticed that his plan failed or new orders hadn’t followed them out here yet.

Then they reached their carriages and finally Gavin got a hold of his bow. He let his hands wander over the smooth wood, noticing how his heart calmed down. Then he put his weapon away in favor to take a hold on Ray. It was crowded in the carriage seeing as there were only four seats but Gavin didn't mind it.

He cradled the knight against his chest and must have fallen asleep himself while listening to the others making plans.

Now he lifted his head again, looking out of the small window to see some trees passing by before he turned to his right to face his counselor.

Ryan looked tired, his eyes half closed but attentive as he caught his gaze. And Gavin understood.

Yes, his counselor was tired beyond believe. Tired and exhausted from the poison and the worry and the planning that must be going on in his head right now. But he fought it down because sleeping meant to let his guard down and he wouldn't do that in front of Geoff as long as he had something he had to protect.

Smiling warmly, Gavin reached out to cup the others face: “It's alright now.”

The blue eyes shifted to Geoff but the king didn't follow them. It didn't matter if his father was watching or not.

Finally, Ryan nodded before shifting slightly in his seat. With a heavy sigh, Gavin guided him until he was leaning against the kings side. He stroke through the others hair until the weight resting against him increased, knowing that the counselor was asleep.

Now it was hard to breath but it was a welcome weight from both of the bodies and he let their warmth spread through him.

Looking up, he found Lindsay curled up against the window, Geoffs coat wrapped around her like a blanket. Her eyes were rolling and her hands grasping for nothing but she didn't make a sound.

His father sat opposite of him and as their eyes met it was clear he hadn't slept as well. Gavin tried not to care for the reason but knew that he was restless because Jack wasn't here.

There was no way for him to ease that weight or maybe there was but he wasn't willing to go them. He wasn't going to tell Geoff that it would be alright or even sit next to him, search for the familiar scent and dwell in their loss together.

He had noticed the spark of envy in the blue eyes and that was good. He should be.

“Snow.”, Ray muttered and surprised the king flinched a bit. He hadn't noticed that the knight was awake.

“It's snowing.”, he repeated and Gavin turned his head to look outside. It was true; big white flakes started to drift down and he always got melancholic seeing that without knowing exactly why. But this right here felt like a déjà vu and it took him a moment to understand why.

All those years ago while they had first visited Werringtal he had sat here but it had been Jack next to him. And he had noticed the snow, getting oh so excited by it but also a bit scared.

And Jack had said: “We should hurry up. Winters in Werringtal are harsh and quick, by tomorrow we might be snowbound.”

Today it was Geoff who said exactly those words. He couldn't remember if it had really been that bad before but he hoped that Jack had been wrong.

Right now they hopefully had a head-start. A small one but that was something nonetheless.

Ray crooked his head to watch his king, his eyes squinted: “You look like shit.”

“Thanks. You also didn't look the best, you know.”

“Probably. But you are alright?”

“Yeah.”

With a nod, the knight turned back around. He didn't ask for Michael or what had happened and Gavin figured he had been awake before. Now Ray snuggled back against him, sighing contently while they quietly watched the snow fall.

 

“Careful.”, Jack instructed, his arm around Michaels shoulder to guide him. Their wagon had stopped quiet a while ago and now some sort of door had opened and a rough voice told him to get out.

“There is a single step coming up and after that a small jump to get on the ground. It's grass so it should be soft.”

Michael was grateful for those information. For even the tiniest hint of what his surrounding looked like but it also reminded him over and over again of the fundamental fact that he was blind now.

And the task in front of him already scared him.

Searching with his boot, he found the edge and carefully lowered his foot on the step. Jack moved just as slow, radiating patience next to him. With a little hop, the warrior landed on the ground, shocked by the amount of noise around him. Movements and yells around him, all unknown and he pressed tightly to the only familiar thing he had.

“Where are we?”, he asked timidly, hearing a laugh somewhere to his far left and he wasn't sure if it was directed at him or not.

“It looks like a big temple.”, Jack explained gladly but just as quiet. “I think the portal is inside. There are knights all around the place and Ingrar is talking to one of them right now. Claudia is heading inside with a troupe.” The blacksmith fell silent, probably observing their surroundings and Michael didn't want to disturb him. Rather he tried to progress the flood of information his remaining senses were providing him, trying to paint a picture himself where his eyes failed him.

Grass, he was standing on grass just like Jack had said and when he shifted slightly it crunched underneath his sole. That added up with the temperature he was feeling. It was cold and he was pretty sure he would be able to see his breath if he still could. Was it early in the morning or late at night?

He pondered about that for a moment, thinking of a way to indicate either when a familiar sound reached his ears. Michael turned towards the nearing steps, listening to the small clanks that followed each of them and finally there was a new emotion. A well-known one, much more pleasant than fear and helplessness and pain.

Rage.

Rage and fury and anger.

He didn't know the person coming towards them, or at least if he had met him before they hadn't left an impact enough to recognize them now. But he couldn't help but growl because he was carrying his sword. He was carrying his Mogar.

“Hands in front.” It was a man and now that he heard the voice it seemed slightly familiar. “Don't be stupid and think that you can resist.”

“No.”, Jack simply said and even Michael couldn't help but turn towards him in surprise. They weren't really in the position to refuse.

“I don't think I've been clear!”

“Are you so scared by us that you not only take our weapons but you have to restrict us as well, William?”, the blacksmith asked and with the name Michael finally connected the dots; King Ingrars knight! He had heard Claudia call out to him at the festival; of course the king would give his trusted servant Mogar!

“I'm not here to play games, Patillo. Hands in front.”

“No.”

“Do they make any trouble?” That was a voice Michael recognized immediately and he felt Jack turn towards the source. Ingrar.

“I really thought we could be as civilized as possible in this situation.”

“I will not cause you any harm. Neither of us.”, Jack assured him. “But please allow me to keep my hands to guide my friend. You already took his sight, let me be his guidance for as long as he needs me.”

The king stayed silent after those words but Michael could feel the others eyes on him and fought the urge to press even closer to Jack.

“Fine.”, he said finally. “Guide him until we reach the main hall but I demand your word that you will give in then.”

“Of course. Thank you, please lead the way.”

They moved and Michael followed slowly. He knew he held the blacksmith back, that he held everyone back but each step into the nothingness that had become his world was scarier than the one before. The ground beneath his feet was hilly and one time it gave in beneath him, making him flinch. It caused some laughs around him but Jack just gave him a reassuring squeeze, muttering: “You are doing good.”

The needed concentration he had to bring forth started to hurt his head again, the emptiness in his eye sockets radiating an unpleasant pain with each step. It got better when they reached solid ground. Stones by the feel of it and he figured they were now in the temple.

“Steps.”, Jack warned him and again he searched for them carefully before moving forward. Even more laughter filled the space behind him and he wanted to turn around and scream at them. Scream that this wasn't easy, that he could gladly take their eyes and let them be walked like a small child or even a dog.

Under normal conditions he would do just that, now he stayed silent, pressing his lips together in concentration. At the end of the stairs an echo greeted them and he groaned in pain. The unsteady, loud noise made the daggers appear again, digging into his brain and made him imagine the place as much huger then it probably was.

Not caring about the giggles that followed, he buried his head into Jacks side, trying to escape the sound. It worked a bit but he didn't dare to cover his own ears in fear to lose yet another sense.

So he clenched his teeth and curled his hands into fists and walked on, focusing on Jacks hand that was gently tracing up and down his arm.

“Steps. This time we're going down.”, the blacksmith told him and Michael couldn't help but whine. He was already tired by the short way they were going and he knew that this was only the beginning. That he had no idea what exactly was going to happen when they reached their destination that may or may not be the portal.

Lindsay had told him that you couldn't simply step through a portal but this one here was different, right? Maybe they were forced to go to wherever it would lead? What if it was as bad as the Nether?

Shivering, he raised his foot in search for the fourth – or maybe fifth? - step when he felt the hand on his back. Before he could as much as turn around, he was shoved, losing the bit of balance he had. Jack stumbled to keep him up but it was too sudden and even though it could only be a second the moment in which Michael fell into the nothing beneath him was terrifying. Then he hit the ground, sliding over the smooth stone before he stopped and he was glad. He was glad to have something solid beneath him, his hands feeling around to make sure it was really there when the laughing behind him ended in a yell. He heard the small grunt from Jack and then something heavy crashed somewhere to his right.

“Stop!” Small steps nearing; Claudia. “You will treat them with respect! I will not tolerate a behavior like this! They are still noble men, don't you dare hurt them!”

Cold, slender fingers pressed against his forehead and Michael nearly sighed relieved as his head was placed in her lap, the folds of her dress soft. For a moment he could have sworn it was Lindsay.

“I'm sorry for my men. Are you alright?” The same finger now combing through his hair and that was wrong, she shouldn't be the one doing that! Forcing himself into a sitting position, the warrior swayed, feeling like the world was turning around him. His head hurt again, really badly.

“Michael.” Jack was next to him, pulling him close and that eased the dizziness a bit. “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head because he didn't trust his voice as he was slowly pulled back to his feet. Exhausted he leaned against the older man, wishing it was over already.

“This is the main hall.”, Ingrar said slowly and Michael could hear how the blacksmith took a shaking breath. Jack wasn't scared, was he? Jack was never scared!

That was a fact. Just like Ray was fast and Ryan always had a plan and Jack was always right. _Jack was never scared!_

Then the blacksmith embraced him and he couldn't recall that ever happening before. He was held so tight that the others beard tickled his cheek and his breathing ruffled his locks and the warrior couldn't help but return the gesture. Wrapping his own arms around him in search for comfort.

“They are here.” The sentence was nothing more than a whisper, short and so quiet that nobody else would be able to catch it. Even Michael briefly wondered if his mind wasn't pulling a trick on him.

Then he was alone, Jacks warmth gone and replaced with a rope around his wrists. But that didn't matter that much because _they were here!_

Jack watched the tension in the warrior melt away and hoped he had been right. His words might have been half a lie.

He knew that Geoff was here. He could feel his mirror close to him and he figured that the others weren't that far off. All of them probably in this hall, hiding from Ingrars men and Jack cast his eyes down, not risking to find them and blow their cover.

The hall they where in was big and round, half of it covered in the smooth, white stone that ended in a small path, stretching over a pit. At the end of it was a platform, looking like it was floating.

They were heading that way and a bit confused, the blacksmith wondered if he had been wrong. There was no portal, at least not at the first look. But when they neared the pit he saw it.

The portal laid beneath them, a frame built out of a stone that Jack never saw before. A dull gray but the outside was gently laced with green, forming a socket in the middle. And in each of those slot sat a small pearl that seemed to constantly rotate. Or at least its insides did and it took the blacksmith a moment to recognize a swimming eye in each of them.

It made him gasp slightly but the real surprise was what was inside the frame. A vortex just like their portal held but not purple. It looked like a starry sky. As if someone had managed to trap the night itself in here.

He passed Geoff.

He knew it the moment it happened. He didn't turn his head, he didn't gave in to the need to clarify it. Instead he told Michael that the path was narrowing down and he should hold on to his coat. The warrior listened, his bound hands twisting in the fabric.

Above them, in equal distances where six statues all around the hall, four of them were resembling different kings, the one closest to the portal the flower of the kingdom and the last and biggest one a hawk with spread wings.

The bird was opposite of the flower, symbolizing the victory over the portal and the endermen. Ray and Gavin hid on its back, their feet neatly placed on the small ledge and their backs pressed against the stone.

It was an uncomfortable position but the one with the least risk of being seen as Claudia had walked in before. That hadn't been part of their plan and they quickly threw each other a look. Debating to jump out of the cover, maybe slay the guardians she had with her and take her as a hostage. They could exchange her for Michael and Jack but would lose their element of surprise.

Ray shrugged helpless while the king pondered about it, shifting slightly to watch the princess reveal a pearl. A key; she was going to open the portal again.

Unsure, Gavin threw yet another look to the knight who carefully leaned towards him. “Ryan said to stick to the plan no matter what.”, he whispered and yeah that was true. If they acted now none of the other would know about it.

But this was such a tempting opportunity!

Ray seemed to sense his distress and opened his mouth to add something when the portal was opened. The emitted energy made their legs go weak and lured around their heads, trying to break them open and the knight gasped in pain.

Quickly Gavin clamped his hands over the others mouth, nearly losing his footing with the movement and was balancing on the tip of his toes for a second. The knight found hold of his clothes, pulling him back so that their heads collided. Both smothered a yelp as they stared at each other with wide eyes, listening to their echoes, sounding way too loud on their way.

Nothing happened.

The noise was swallowed in the chitchat between Claudia and the guards and then drowned in the steps of nearing people. Most likely Ingrar and his remaining soldiers.

Gavin carefully lifted his hands and both of them threw each other a look that was half apologizing and half amused before they grew serious again.

Shifting slowly, they got back to their original position as good as they could and watched the men walk into the hall.

The other three were somewhere among them, dressed up in the uniforms that Gavin and Lindsay had stolen merely an hour before. It had been a close call.

The king heard the small gasp from Ray when Michael was lead into the hall, his steps hesitatingly and carefully placed. But it wasn't until the warrior was shoved down the stairs, crashing hard on the floor that the knight actually growled next to him. It passed quickly because he didn't get up. Michael didn't get up to yell at the man, yell and maybe kick the man in the guts.

He just laid there.

It was Jack who moved, taking hold of the soldier and flinging him down the stairs by himself. Anger covering his usually calm face. It passed quickly as he crouched down next to the warrior.

Rays fingers interlocked with his and Gavin gave a quick squeeze. It grounded both of them, keeping them in place to not rush out there.

But now that the people beneath them moved up towards the actual portal, they could also get into position. Giving the knight a boost, Gavin helped him to reach the junction where the stone wings met the body before Ray pulled him up as well.

Now they were on full display but nobody turned towards them, everyone occupied with the little speech Ingrar was giving.

Talking about calming the endermen by sacrificing the already dead. It wouldn't matter for long anyway.

Drawing his rapier quietly, Ray moved up to the birds head and threw a quick look behind. Gavin took a moment to breath, knowing that their plan was everything but perfect but all they got. Remembering what the knight had asked him to do; to look out for him, to keep him safe but most of all in check; he was planning to go all out. And to stop him if he was turning against one of their own.

The king nodded, wishing his friend a silent good luck, knowing that it would reach nonetheless. And then Ray was off, gaining speed before leaping from the statue.

Gavin quickly took his place on the head of the bird, bringing his bow forth while the red coat was still waving in the air, a clear sign of danger for everyone to see. The first arrow was in place when Ray crashed into the middle of the soldiers, rolling off the momentum before jumping to his feet.

Two men went down before they even noticed him, just standing in his way as he charged towards the platform. Gavin didn't pay attention to him, his eyes traveled across the crowd and sure enough he saw one man next to Ingrar reach for a gun.

The arrow ripped open his throat instead of his forehead before Gavin noticed yet another near the path. The second men was hit in the shoulder and growling at himself, the king sent another arrow to finish the job, this time actually hitting the others chest.

He barely had any experience with his new bow and it was starting to show. Only that he didn't have time for it.

Ray had nearly reached the pathway, a soldier on his heels and for a moment Gavin was struck with worry until he made out the scythe. Lindsay.

Good, she was Rays backup so the others really made it in.

A small explosion near his feet made him flinch and nearly slipping off the smooth stone Gavin couldn't help but drop to his knees. To his right, nearly all the way back at the entrance stood yet another soldier, reloading his gun with quick fingers.

Swearing, the king fumbled for solid ground, noticing the cracks spreading through the white stone underneath his heels. He got to his feet again, raising his bow only to be greeted by the bullet, grazing his shoulder before hitting the wing behind him. Gavin didn't flinch, not even noticing the ringing in his ears, his eyes sharp as he knew how the other would reach for the next bullet. The arrow hit his forehead, the impact making him fall back.

Letting his gaze travel once more, he noticed a lot of eyes resting on him. Not that he hadn't expected that but the obvious fear in them was a surprise.

Shifting nervously, Gavin reached for his next arrow. Don't think about it, maybe it was a trick – he wouldn't show mercy now!

But as he pulled back the string to strike yet another one of them down he couldn't help but stop in his movements when some of them actually scattered and began to ran away and finally he realized. Some of them must have been in the garden, forced to witness him burning the more unfortunate guards down. On top of it he hadn't had time to change or to probably wash himself.

The blood clung to him, dried and dirty and more brown than red but unmistakeably.

How had Claudia called him? Monster in human form?

And hadn't Ingrar just said they were already dead, only fueling the rumors with each word?

Gavin nearly smirked at that; they had agreed to not use their demons. Not so close to the portal and without knowing if it would lure endermen out or not but they didn't know that, did they?

“Run!”, he called out, his voice echoing through the hall. “Run or burn here and now! This is your choice!”

Most of them ran because if one started, others would always follow. The king looked up to where Ingrar was, his mouth slightly open before he sputtered words, trying to lure his soldiers back.

They feared him. They feared him, just like he had promised!

And Gavin wanted to laugh, amused by just imagining it to echo through the hall as he stood over them with the window in his back, fresh light pouring in, reflecting in his crown, enlightening the blood. It didn't help when Geoff and Ryan drew their weapons in the middle of the chaos, slicing through the soldiers and causing more panic because if they couldn't trust their own men, who could they?

Realizing he could scatter his enemies easier than what he had imagined, Gavin aimed for Ingrar. Not to kill him; the king was still useful, at least Ryan had assured him of that but bringing him down would be enough to break the last spirits of his men.

But the other king was standing right next to Jack, talking fast and Gavin didn't dare to shoot. Not over this distance, not with this new bow.

Debating for another moment, he shot the arrow into the crowd, not caring who it hit before he leaped of the statue, just like Ray had done.

 

Lindsay didn't know where Ryan and Geoff where, she had lost them while moving into the hall. The uniform she and Gavin had stolen from the the little shed the guards of this place had dressed in was a bit too big for her, the weight unusual but their helmets covered their identity. She could've refused like Ray had, he had claimed that he would lose his speed while wearing the armor but staying close to Geoff was more important. Jack would have done the same.

The thud when Ray hit the ground, giving them all the sign to act was to her right and by the time she turned her head the first soldier was choking on his own blood.

She moved, the hand on her weapon but the knight was faster, taking off and dashing through the startled crowd. The woman didn't get shaken off, keeping a safe distance to act when Ray was in danger.

But it worked even better than expected, most soldiers confused and scared and only a few crowded in front of the path to hinder them. The knight didn't slow down, just crashed into the line and Lindsay was ready to help him when Geoff appeared to her right, taking two down with ease.

She jumped over their bodies and finally caught up with Ray, seeing as he was forced to finally stand still. The immense knight of Ingrar blocked their way towards the king right when a shot fell somewhere behind them, loud like thunder in the hall.

Both of them flinched but didn't turn around as silence followed. It was disturbed by a low growl from Ray which she first thought was directed at the second shot when her eyes fell on the sword the other was carrying.

She didn't growl, she let out a battle cry at the sight of Mogar, charging at the larger man. Bringing forth her scythe, it expanded, ready to stab the other in the chest. But Mogar was powerful itself, crashing against her blade with its weight, trying to pin her weapon down to leave her body unprotected but she let her scythe retract, leaving the sword to crash into the floor. It gave her time to stab, this time going for the others throat but he managed to sidestep. She swung after him, trying to cut but didn't expect his free hand to grab her scythe.

With a powerful pull, she lost the floor underneath as she held on for dear life before she was flung away like an insect. She managed to land on her feet as she lost her helmet from the impact, sliding over the battleground before she pounced again.

But it seemed like she was forgotten, the knight going straight for Ray and their eyes met, one pair green and one getting swallowed by darkness. She understood.

She understood and maybe she wasn't happy with it but it was logical to reverse their roles. So she left the knights for themselves, quickly passing behind their backs to finally reach the pathway.

William didn't even seem to notice; Ingrar did.

He turned around from his place in front of the prisoners as she jumped over a guard that was bleeding out on the floor.

“Lindsay, no!”, Claudia pleaded somewhere to her right at the sight of her weapon but Lindsay didn't listen to her. She watched as Michael raised his head, empty eyes searching for her. His lips tasting her name and she wished she had kissed them back then.

“I'll protect this kingdom!”, Ingrar screamed at her, not that she had eyes or ears for him. But she did notice when he shoved Jack, watching as the tall man had no way to keep his balance and then the blacksmith vanished from her sight and she screamed his name and Michael screamed his name and made a careful step to search for the missing warmth next to him. He was next and both knew it as the woman let her weapon fall as she dropped to her knees, sliding once again over the ground.

She was too late.

She knew it when Ingrar pushed the blind warrior and she knew it when his worn out boots slipped off the edge. Still she reached out with both hands, nearly following them down into the portal before she stopped.

“No!”, she howled, feeling tears come to her eyes. If she had been faster, if she had been quieter-

Screaming in frustration, she ignored her fragile balance right here and now, a small push more than enough to sent her through as well. And maybe Ingrar was going for it because it was the gargling noise he did that made Lindsay turn around.

Geoff was pulling him away from her, throwing him to the floor before he jumped without hesitation. The trapped night swallowed him instantly and she screamed after him, swearing at his stupidity because god knew what was beyond there!

Claudia answered with her own scream and Lindsay turned around in time to see her falling to her fathers side. Ingrar was breathing heavily, reaching for the arrow in his chest while his daughter was crying next to him.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!”, the princess whimpered, her hands all over him to ease the pain. Gavin stood at the pathway, the next arrow already between his fingers and his eyes dark with fury and loss. His voice though was steady and clear: “You had everything.”

Claudia looked up to him, still pretty with the tears streaming down her face. She didn't beg, she looked a bit scared but she moved to shield her father with her small body.

“You had everything you could have ever wanted.”, Gavin said again. “Why did you have to take from me?”

The arrow hit her in the throat, the impact making her fall next to her father. Her green eyes big with shock as she tried to speak but only blood was spilling from her mouth, pooling around her and soaking her blond locks and her beautiful dress. Tinting the orange flowers in her hair red like roses.

And Ingrar screamed.

His last strength going into the sorrowful scream that swallowed everything else in the hall as he pulled her close, cradling her against his broken chest, trying to wipe the pain away.

Gavin smiled. He smiled for her because how happy she must be in that moment! To not be alone, to be in such a warm embrace, to know that she could rest in her fathers arms! A thing no one would ever be able to take away from her!

He noticed he was crying while smiling, he noticed that Lindsay was staring at him, also crying and he knew why and it tore at his heart.

As Ingrars scream died down, he could hear another one, way angrier than the first and right behind him. Gavin turned around, suddenly face to face with the huge knight who radiated rage like a sickness.

“Murderer!”, William screamed in his face as he lifted Mogar. Ryan was between them in an instant, the broadsword getting knocked back by his own weapon and Ray finished the job, slicing the others throat.

He giggled at himself at the rush of blood greeting him before spinning around on his heels. “Gav!”, he called out while passing Ryan without so much as a glance from his dark eyes. “You are alright!”

The king nodded, catching the knight when he hugged him tightly, swaying like he was drunk. “He was very good that big guy and Mogar is really strong.”, Ray whispered in his ear with glee. “But I still brought him down! I still killed him! Did you see how red his blood was? And so much of it!”

“You did so good.”, Gavin gently patted his back before raising his eyes towards the remaining soldiers closing in. They had failed nonetheless but he had already made his choice. For that they had to clean up the mess first. “Ray?” He used that name even though he knew he wasn't talking to his friend right now: “Can I ask something from you?”

“Anything.” The word came out like a purr as the knight pressed his stained face against the others chest, pleased by the attention.

“Kill everyone that dares to stand in our way.”

Ray raised his head and looked up to him as a smile formed on his face: “May I?”

“Can you do it?”

The knight was hopping up and down like a little child, his arms clinging around Gavins neck: “I can! I'll be really fast and good! Please let me!”

“Of course.”

Squealing ecstatic, Ray got to his toes to plant a kiss on the others cheek before letting go. His rapier drew a red circle around him as he spun around, quick on his feet as he ran ahead. Ryan followed him like a shadow, not getting in his way but there if he needed to be. But the knight seemed to have other ideas for him, staying close and inviting him for his hunt, giggling happy all the while.

Lindsay finally got back to her feet, wiping her nose as she stepped to Claudia. The green eyes of the princess were unseeing, a pulse long gone from her veins and gently the guardian closed her lids.

Ingrar watched her, shallow breaths and clouded eyes that nearly seemed thankful.

“You've lost.”, she muttered. “Now sleep. She's waiting for you.”

She left it up to him to follow her advice or not as she went to collect her weapon. Noticing Gavins eyes on her, she kneeled in front of him, her scythe offered as she bowed her head: “I failed.”

“You did everything you could have done.”  
“I should have taken the knight like we had planned. Ray is faster, he could've reached them in time.”

“Not even Ray could have reached them. Ingrar was next to them all the time, too close for me to even think about shooting.”

“Are you saying it was futile from the start?”, she spat angrily.

“I am saying we had to try. Ingrar would have sacrificed them anyway.” His hands laid on her own, pushing the weapon down. He wouldn't take it from her, no reason to do so.

“Geoff-”, she started but it ended in a sob. “Geoff jumped in! Jack asked me... he asked me to look after him and not even that I could do! Not even that!” She threw her scythe away before letting her fist crash to the floor. Angry tears rolling down her face because she wasn't used to failing! She wasn't used to fail so horribly and she wasn't used to carry such heavy consequences because of it!

Wailing, she pressed her forehead to the cold stone. Mad at herself and glad for it because beneath that was the terrible feeling of loss.

“No boundaries in this world would have been strong enough to keep Geoff here.”, Gavin assured her before getting to his knees as well. “He wanted to go so he did. It's not your fault. Jack would see it the same way; he knows how much of a stubborn idiot he is.” His fingers brushed through her hair, finding it to be soft to the touch even though the body beneath was trembling with guilt.

“I'm sorry!”, she whimpered, trying to bite her lip to keep them from shaking but knowing she had to spill the poisonous words first. “I was so close! I was so close to catch at least him and he knew it! He heard me, he looked up, he knew I was there and then I let him fall! I let him fall and I am so sorry! I'm so sorry, Michael!”

And then she cried violently into his lap as he tried to shush her down, his own eyes wet.

It took her just a few minutes before it eased down into deep breaths and trembling hands. She sat back up, little hiccups shaking her body as she wiped stray tears away. Observing her kings face, she sniffed one last time before she asked: “You will go in there, won't you?”

“Only bad people get left behind. Michael is too precious.”

“You and Geoff are so very similar.”

Gavin blinked surprised before he smiled: “Thank you!”

Both of them looked up at the nearing steps just in time when Ray jumped at the king. Startled, Gavin caught him, feeling breathless by how tight the arms wrapped around his chest. A growl vibrated through the others body, his dark eyes fixated on Lindsay. It eased when his head was patted reassuringly: “That was fast.”

“Most ran.”, he cooed, rubbing his face against the kings chest. “Ryan said I should let them go. The ones who stayed are dead.”

Craning his neck, he stared with deep black eyes, splattered blood over his face and Gavin knew what he wanted.

“Good.”, he muttered, before placing a kiss on the others forehead. It was sticky, the whole body that was pressed to him was but Gavin didn't mind: “Thank you very much.”

He got a blissful hum in return and the king couldn't help but smile. At least one of them was happy.

Looking up, he watched his counselor putting Mogar in its sheath before throwing it over his shoulder with a huff. “He also has Jacks axes but I won't carry all of that. You guys are still young, you can do it.”

“I'll take them.”, Gavin chuckled. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I'm fine. That worked better than expected.”

“But not perfect.”, Lindsay mumbled bitter as he sat down next to her.

“We'll get them out.”, Ryan said as he began to shed his armor, disgusted by the color of his old kingdom. There was a dark glint in Rays eyes as he tightened his hold on the king and the counselor realized that he was apparently too close to Gavin. But the knight didn't act on it, showing that he trusted him like this.

Still the eyes never left him, attentive and with a lingering aggression buried beneath. It soon became heavy lidded when Gavin shushed him down, his hands playing with his hair and the heartbeat soothing him.

“They can close the portal.”, the king said almost absentmindedly to not disturb the knight. “We saw Claudia open it with one of the pearls.”

“So we have to make sure it stays open. Otherwise we will be trapped inside.”, Ryan mentioned before nodding. “Some of us have to stay outside to make sure they don't get us.”

It wasn't really a choice in the end. Gavin wouldn't stay back and if Gavin went then Ray would as well. And he himself would follow them, too.

Looking up, Lindsay was already nodding: “I'll do it.”

“It's a job for more than one person.”, Ryan said slowly, his mind racing. “If they come with reinforcements there is no way for you to hold them back!” And because he had to try, he turned towards the king: “Gav-”

“No.” He was rubbing Rays shoulders now, the knight purring in bliss: “I'll go in there.”

“You're the King.”

“All the more reason.”

“If it's true what Claudia said the endermen might react to us. This might as well be a deathtrap.”

“I'll take the risk.”, Gavin assured him, looking him straight in the eye. “I could understand if you want to stay here though.”

Sighing, Ryan shook his head, making the king smile.

“I can do it alone.”, Lindsay said with confidence. “I did it all these years; I'll hold this place as long as it takes you, guys.”

“Don't get yourself killed!”, Gavin warned her. “We know nothing about this other realm; maybe there is no exit, maybe we will find none and even if we did; nobody says we will come out right here. Flee when you think it is the right time!”

She nodded but her smile said otherwise: “I am known to be pretty patient though.”

In the end Ryan helped her to close down the hall, the giant gates only moving with their combined strength. Gavin used the time to talk Ray into letting him go before both of them collected stray arrows. They were in the middle of that when the knight stopped in his tracks, standing up fast and looked around in panic.

The king observed him before the eyes fell on him; scared but most of all brown now.

“Are you back?”

Ray nodded before he asked quietly: “D-did I hurt someone?”

“No. You just attacked the enemy.” A visible weight fell from the others shoulder: “Do you not remember?”

He opened his mouth before letting it shut close again, his brow furrowed in concentration: “Michael fell into the portal and we are going in. You didn't get hurt. Nobody did. We killed the other knight.”

“Yeah.”, Gavin agreed. He put the arrow into his quiver and carefully came closer, noticing the small tremors going through his friend: “Are you alright?”

“I don't remember.”, he whispered terrified, a haunted look on his face. “ _They_ are telling me. It's a _voice_ in my head.”

“I see.” He touched the knight gently, still making him flinch.

“Is this how it is for you?”, Ray asked with a shaking voice.

“Sometimes.”

Whining, the younger one closed his eyes, shivering as he searched the others warmth: “It's scary. I don't like it.”

“Me neither.”

Nearing steps interrupted them when the other two walked into the hall, back in their normal attire. They closed the heavy doors to this hall and Lindsay nodded pleased: “That should hold them back if they decide to show their faces again. You guys should really go now.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah. Just bring them back in one piece.”

“Of course.”

All four of them stepped towards the portal, looking down into the swirling night. Ryan had around five different advices for Lindsay on the tip of his tongue but swallowed them down. She knew what she was doing and in the matter of guarding something she was the best.

Still he had to stop himself from patting her head and asking if she was really, really sure. To her it would be an insult no matter how honest his words were. So he simply turned away, making sure they had the spare weapons before drawing his own.

It was Gavin who jumped first, Ray right on his heels and Ryan followed.

It didn't feel strange going through the portal because he didn't really notice when exactly he passed. It grew darker and maybe a bit colder and then he hit the ground.

It sent dust into the air as he looked up finding the other two in front of him, their coats gently floating in the cold wind. And then he also froze in shock at the blazing pain tearing at his head, daring to force his skull apart and pull his demon out.

With a shiver he realized that Edgar was eager to let it happen, even looking forward to it.

Gavin turned around as he tried to voice a warning while he stumbled back.

Ryan understood; Ray didn't.

He went straight for the king and the counselor wrapped his arms around him, pulling him back before the first spark filled the air.

A roar escaped the small body as he dragged Ray away from the heat; angry and threatening and Ryan pulled his aching head together enough to slap the rapier out of the others hand.

A howl followed before the knight tried to plunk his teeth into his arm. The counselor held on tighter, wanting to keep the younger from walking right into the flames but shocked when the ribs beneath his grip simply gave in.

Ray yelped, his hands now clawing to get free and his legs kicking, tangling with the other pair and sending them both to the ground. Ryan groaned at the impact, loosening his grip fast but he could feel the bones already getting back into place. Over them was a strange figure, blurry and shapeless but obvious connected to Ray. He couldn't see the demon out before sharp canines pressed against his throat, searching for hold and he got a fistful of Rays hair, jerking his head away before they could rip through his flesh.

A growl vibrated through both of them but one turned into a whine. Ryan couldn't quite tell which but now that he was listening, he heard another voice screaming at him: “Stop that!”

Jack?

“Stop that! You are breaking his spine! You'll rip his head right off!”

And blinking Ryan realized the words were directed at him. Ray was whimpering, his nails scratching over his hand, trying to ease the painful angle he was forcing on him. Quickly the counselor let go and the smaller body collapsed on top of him, revealing the night sky above him.

No strange figure, no demon.

Maybe he had just been seeing things.

Gasping violently, he felt Ray doing the same against his neck and they had to stay like this for a few moments.

“Did I hurt you?”

The knight shook his head but Ryan knew that was a lie. He had felt the rips break beneath his touch before they mended in seconds.

_Do you want the strength of an army?_

Guilty, he closed his eyes and pulled him tighter.

“Did I hurt you?”, came the question back with a tiny voice.

“No. No, you didn't.”

An exhausted sigh hit his shoulder as Ray didn't seem to think about moving, laying there spineless. The counselor was thinking the exact same thing.

“Ryan?”

That made him open his eyes immediately.

Michael was sitting next to him, his hand slowly working its way over his coat until he found the others arm. “Ryan?”, he asked again, much more timidly than what they were used to.

“Yeah.”, he finally affirmed and watched the relief wash over the warriors face.

“I'm glad.”, the warrior muttered before his fingers found the other body. “Ray?”

His friend nodded, his eyes transfixed to the missing ones of the other. He took a moment to swallow after realizing his mistake: “It's me. Are you alright?”

Shaking his head, the lips of him started to quiver and Michael quickly pressed them together. Ryan reached out and pulled him down and he hide his face in the others chest without making a sound.

Hesitating at first, Ray wrapped his arm around him before nuzzling into the others locks.

They laid like that for as long as they could.

 

 

_And it's an even song_   
_It's a melody_   
_It's a battle cry_   
_It's a symphony_

 

 

 

And once again amazing fanart by [Rachel!](http://catboysam.tumblr.com/post/103340207310/and-thats-the-last-lad-d-im-so-glad-i-managed)

This time Michael and I think that fits this chapter perfectly!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that; welcome to the final! Hold on tight; it's gonna be a ride.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael turned his head in the direction of the new voice, his head following when Gavin sat down next to him: “Hey boy.”  
> “Hey.”  
> “Does it hurt?”  
> “It's bearable.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter and thank you for your amazing comments! Let's see how it works with this one too!

Chapter 12

 

_I ruled the world_   
_With these hands I shook the heavens to the ground_   
_I laid the gods to rest_

 

 

When Michael hit the ground it was hard and knocked the air right out of his lungs, leaving him wheezing on his back. He tried to open his eyes to look where he was and frowned at his own stupidity. Pulling at his restrains, he found himself just as tied up as seconds before and with a frustrated huff he gave up, laying back down in hope that someone would find him.

Jack had vanished from his side, right? So they probably had been dropped through the portal which would explain the sudden coldness around him.

That was bad, wasn't it?

He tried to recall what he knew about the portal and the realm lying beyond but his head once again sent out waves of pain, making him go sick.

Lindsay had been there, right?

He had heard her, oh so close to him and it had been the sweetest sound. Hopefully she was safe.

He heard a groan to his right and quickly turned his head: “Jack?”

“Yeah. Are you hurt?”

“I don't think s-” An impact interrupted him, followed by a small grunt.

“Geoff?!”

“Jack!” Hasty steps, then something quieter until silence fell upon them. Confused Michael feared for a second that he had lost another sense as he noticed no movement, no spoken words but there was wind blowing softly so that couldn't be true. Sitting up slowly, he sighed relieved when he heard some shuffling around before Jacks voice cut angrily through the calmness: “What are you doing here?!”

“Is that the way to great your savior? Are you hur-”

“I asked what you are doing here!”

“Saving you, taking the spotlight, being the hero – just some of the possibilities!”

“Idiot!”

“Very commonly used by you, might want to change that u- ow! Alright, alright! Calm down! I'll cut your ropes if you promise not to kill me!”

“We both know that I don't promise what I can't keep!”

Huffing amused with an edge of unsaid words, they stayed silent until Michael could hear a soft thud before steps closed in.

“Hey.” Geoff crouched down next to him, a hand warm on his shoulder.

“Hey.”, the warrior mumbled before offering his bound hands. The other didn't move at first before he sighed deeply, cutting his restrain with a quick movement.

“Thanks.”

“It's nothing. Can you stand?”

“Sure.”, he agreed a bit hesitatingly. But when he tried he actually managed to get on his feet, swaying dangerously in time with the painful waves radiating from his head. He pressed his free hands against his temples, trying to keep his skull together: “We went through the portal?”

“Yeah.”, Geoff affirmed. “We're in The End and if my headache is any indication here are quite some endermen roaming.”

“Can we not just go back through?”

“No.”  
“Why? Gavin can also just step in and out of the Nether!”

“There is no portal, Michael.”

“Oh.”, he made, feeling dumb. Of course it couldn't be that easy.

“I can't believe you followed us in here.”, Jack muttered words that probably should have been angry but came out way too soft for that. Still surprised; but more at himself for not seeing this coming. For maybe underestimating something that Michael couldn't quite place.

“Geez, get a hold of yourself! You better close your mouth and stop glaring at me like a little girl!” The warrior couldn't help but smile lightly at that, knowing that Geoff was choosing those words especially for him.

“Well I am sorry for not getting used to your immense stupidity even after all those years!”

“I love you, too.”  
“Fuck you!”

Geoff laughed out loud, a sound that the warrior had believed was lost. A deep, rough bark that eased his pain and he couldn't help his own grin from forming. It only got better because of Jacks irritated groaning.

“So what's your great plan now?”

“First we'll wait.”, he eagerly explained. “When the others finally catch up we'll search the exit.”

“You think they will come?”, Michael asked quietly as he gladly sat back down. Sitting was better than standing, standing made him feel lost and helpless. When he sat he at least couldn't fall over.

“Of course. They were pretty determined to get you back.”

The warrior smiled a bit at that. He looked forward to being with them again, wondering how long they had been parted. Hard to tell. Now that he was blind, ripped from things like light he couldn't tell how much time passed. It still felt surreal.

And now as he sat in the silence, simply waiting with nothing but his mind to occupy him, it felt like forever and at one point he gave in and let his thoughts wander.

Thinking that they would know how useless he now was. That they had to look after him all the time. He was kinda like a little child, wasn't he?

And that made him wonder what Lindsay might think about him now. His heart grew heavy at that.

He was in the middle of these dark thoughts when they appeared and the new flood of noises made him disorientated as he tried to figure out who was where. It didn't help when someone took hold of him and dragged him away while heat tickled his skin and howls stroke fear into his heart.

Demons.

It was the same crushing feeling he had back when he had met Edgar in the strange fog. Again it scared him and he wanted to curl up and hide because he didn't have a weapon; he wouldn't even know from which direction the attack would come!

All he could do was trust whoever was pulling him to get him to safety, trying to stay on his feet to help before he was suddenly dropped: “Stop that! You are breaking his spine! You'll rip his head right off!”

What was going on? Where they in danger? Was one of the demons coming for them?

His instincts made him reach for Mogar but couldn't find it and abruptly the tension had left the air. Soft murmurs that he recognized and very carefully he crawled over: “Ryan?”

The voices died down as his hands found a coat. They were staring now, weren't they? Maybe looking disgusted. Throwing each other looks as they tried to pass him around, deciding who had to look after him first.

It made him sick.

After that it was a rush of emotions because it was them and they appeared to be alright but their voices were different. A bit strained, a bit too gentle.

And then someone pulled him down and he was pretty sure it was Ryan and for a moment everything was alright as he tried not to cry but did so nonetheless. Silently and with small tremors running through him as he bit hard on his lip.

But right now it was warm and he was save and he felt ready to fall asleep right here and now.

Ryan stirred beneath him because he could see Gavin stumbling towards them. Exhausted but mostly scared: “Get up. We have to move.”

Throwing him a questioning gaze, Ryan frowned. The king looked like it had also taken a great toll on him and a break should be more than welcome.

“We attracted them. If it's true we need to move.” It seemed to be the cue because he could make out a movement in the corner of his eye, right as Gavin reached for an arrow.

“Too many.”, was the words that Jack grumbled before Michael was hauled from the counselor and onto the others back. The warrior yelped surprised but didn't protest, burying his head into the neck of the blacksmith while Ryan pulled the knight up.

He saw glimpses of the endermen, five close to them but more in the distance, slowly turning towards them and he urged Ray on, knowing that he was tired, that they all were but they had to run for now.

And they did.

Gavin took out whatever came close enough, an arrow inside the glowing eyes proven to be very effective and the one time he missed, Geoff jumped in and slayed the creature with two quick strikes.

When they finally decided to rest, the king simply let himself drop to the ground, the bow rolling from his grip as he panted violently. Ray was with him in a second, hovering next to him like a guardian, his own lids heavy as well.

“Thanks.”, Michael muttered embarrassed as he was let down and the blacksmith nodded, forgetting their predicament for a second in favor to sit down himself.

Ryan followed suit, the exhaustion finally catching up with him. The few hours he had slept throughout the night weren't nearly enough to cover the stress of the last days and their arriving here had knocked the last wind out of him.

But right now it was the constant headache that drained him, making him wish for just the smallest of breaks.

It didn't seem like there were any endermen near them, at least he couldn't see any. It was this place as dull as it was. Black sky above them and a gray stone covered in dust beneath his feet. Either the stone or the dust was emitting a small glow, allowing them to see but that was really all there was to this realm.

At least as far as he had seen.

Hopefully that would make finding the portal easier.

There was a small tug on his sleeves and as he turned around he was greeted by the warrior: “You don't have to carry this; I can do it.”

A bit dumbfounded he stared at the younger: “Excuse me?”

Confused and embarrassed Michael retreated his hand, his non existing eyes focused a little to Ryans left: “Oh. I thought... thought I heard Mogar. I'm sorry, I'm not used to-”

“I do!”, the counselor interrupted him quickly. “I'm sorry, I didn't think about it. Of course you can have it; it's yours!”

“I can carry it, I'm used to the weight but if you want to you can have it. Now you are the most experienced with it anyway.”

“Michael-”

“It was forged to draw blood and not to be a decorative weight on my shoulder and I want you to-” The sheath was pressed against his chest before his hands wrapped around the familiar texture of it.

“Then learn how to draw blood with it.”, Ryan grunted angrily.

“I'm blin-”  
“You learned it before; you can do it again!”

“It's not the same!”

“Of course not, that's why you have to relearn it!”

“I'll make sure you'll get the best teacher the kingdom has to offer.”

Michael turned his head in the direction of the new voice, his head following when Gavin sat down next to him: “Hey boy.”

“Hey.”

“Does it hurt?”

“It's bearable.” Featherlight touches made the warrior flinch in surprise before he relaxed, letting the others finger carefully roam over his face, brushing over his eyelids. It was Gavins face that contorted in pain, seeing his friend so crushed and torn but as far as Ryan could tell he kept it out of his voice, swallowing it down until he was able to control himself. Pulling the warrior closer, he placed a gentle kiss on each closed lid before holding the other without a word.

Michael let it happen, limply holding on to Mogar as he was moved.

Turning away from the picture, Ryan found the knight standing right next to him, shifting nervously to sit down. The brown eyes were locked on his two friends as he tried not to make any noise to give himself away, chewing on his bottom lip.

It seemed obvious that he wasn't sure how to deal with the situation, staying next to the counselor as if he was hiding behind him but always close enough to be with his friends because he didn't want to leave them alone. That was the last thing on his mind.

So he sat next to Ryan, his shoulders pulled up defensively as he made himself as small and quiet as possible.

He just needed some time to figure everything out.

They were urged to go on soon afterwards, marching through the wasted lands.

Geoff and Jack were in front, their weapons drawn and their eyes always scanning their surroundings. Gavin and Michael followed, the most inattentive ones. The warrior because of obvious reasons and the king as he was looking out for both of them. The green eyes cast towards the floor, warning for rocks or other danger. They held each others hands like little children but the usual banter was missing.

Gavins voice was the only noise in the group as he explained what exactly had happened.

Ray was close behind them as if he wanted to listen but Ryan knew he was just looming there to protect if danger came.

It didn't. In the end they wandered what seemed to be a few hours before the warrior stumbled and fell to his knees. His limps shaking as he panted exhausted, a pained expression on his face. Gavin was next to him, calling for his counselor who was already at his side by this point.

“You're alright?”, Ryan asked and Michael was quick to nod, already trying to get back to his feet. It was a desperate attempt and he slumped back down, an angry huff escaping him.

Giving up, he sat down, wiping the sweat from his face: “You have something to drink?”

That was the moment Ryan realized in what bad of a situation they really were because no. No he had neither food nor water. He had no bandages and no way to get any of these important things in here.

“No.”, he choked out, making Gavin look up to him. The king frowned at whatever he saw.

“Alright.”, the warrior mumbled quietly, swallowing dry.

“Let's rest for now.”, Geoff offered. “It's as good as any other place in here.”

“I can go on!”, Michael said immediately but Gavin was quick to shush him and his protests died down, another evidence how tired he was.

Both of them went and laid down and Ryan could watch them drift off within minutes.

When he turned around, Jack was already standing next to him and the counselor sighed: “I'm sorry. It was foolish of me to not think about... about _anything_ really.”

“I'm not worried about the food. I'm worried about the water.”, the blacksmith admitted. “We will dehydrate long before we get really hungry. But before that we will be weak, so we have to avoid any conflict at all cost.”

“I know.”

“But I don't blame you, Ryan. As far as I know about what had happened, you didn't even had the time to get something.”  
“I could have tried. That's the least I cou-”

“It's not your fault, really.”, Ray threw in and both of them looked at him surprised. Those were the first words he had spoken since they began moving. “We can all think and none of us even paid it a thought. So now we have to deal with the aftermath.”

He looked up to Jack as if he was challenging him to say something but the other simply nodded: “Exactly. We rest for now and after that we will march until we can't go on anymore. Our only way out is the portal and with our new predicament we have to reach it as fast as possible. So even if Michael can't go on, we will just have to carry him.”

“Alright.”, Ryan agreed slowly, not satisfied with himself at all. “I'll stay awake, you can rest as well.”

“Thank you. Wake me and Geoff when you get tired.”

“Of course. And Jack?”

The taller man had already turned away before he looked back: “What?”

“Thanks for looking after Michael.”

“I should be the one saying that.”, he admitted slowly, his eyes were traveling to Ray who was lurking behind the counselor like a shadow. “I've known all three of them for most of their lives, it wasn't a question to look after them. For you on the other hand it is a choice.” He went back to Geoff without another word, the first king throwing him a confused look before he frowned. The blue eyes went back to the counselor before he settled down.

A bit confused, Ryan watched their quiet conversation before he felt a tug on his sleeve. Looking down he found Ray still next to him: “Lay down, you're also tired.”

The knight quickly shook his head: “Can I be on watch with you?”

“You are too slee-”

“I'm fine.” He sat down, observing the other quietly until he joined him and with a sigh Ryan tried not to get too comfortable. To be honest he should be glad for Ray; he wasn't sure how long he could go on without sleep and they could keep each other awake if needed.

And seeing how dull the world around them was, it was a welcome thing to have company. Even if said company threw him glances all the time until he sighed: “What's wrong, Ray?”

The knight didn't even flinch at being caught: “I am learning.”

“Learning?”, Ryan asked surprised. “What are you learning?”

Now he got shy, shuffling around a bit until he spilled: “How to protect someone.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, Ray turned away to look at Michael and Gavin. Both asleep and the king tightly curled around the other, shielding him from danger.

“That's wrong.”, the knight tried to explain, fumbling with his words a bit. “It should be the other way around, you see? It always has been! And now... now it's different!”

It took a moment for Ryans tired mind to understand but when he did he felt sad. The relationship between those three had been carved in stone since he had met them and as often as it had been bruised and bent they had somehow always fallen back into that routine, finding strength and warmth there.

That wasn't quite possible anymore. Because their protector had fallen and now needed them. Not the other way around.

“I'm the shield!”, Ray spat angry. “I'm the shield and I will protect both of them if I have to! I'll protect! So please, please let me learn!”

“Ray... that's sweet of you but in all honesty; you off all people don't need a les-”

“But you do it differently!”, he insisted, his cheeks coloring with each word but that couldn't smother his determination. “You are just there and I feel safe and I know that it's the same with the other two! Jack is right; you don't have a reason to stay! You could just walk off and be done with us – but you don't!”

“That's because it's not a choice anymore.”, Ryan muttered, touched by the raw words. “It has become a decision before I even realized it.”

And suddenly Rays arms were around his neck as he hugged him tightly, a mix of 'thank you' and 'sorry' falling from his lips. The other had to be very exhausted and worried and scared to be in this state so he pulled him closer. Whispering like it was a secret: “You're a good boy, Ray.” That wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. He wanted to say that they were a family, that Ray didn't have to learn anything because nothing would happen to them, not if he could stop it beforehand.

The words were stuck somewhere in his throat only to get lose with the honest ones of the knight: “I like you, Rye.”

“I like you, too.”, he admitted, smiling into the black hair.

The next thing he remembered were bright blue eyes, dimmed by the fog of light sleep he was fighting: “Lay down and go to sleep. You are useless like that anyway.”

And he listened even though he didn't want to. He swore to never listen to that man and to never let his guard down and always made sure he wasn't going to cause more damage than he already had.

Still he listened because his body demanded it and his head hurt and his throat was dry. Most of all he listened because the feeling of Ray wrapped up against him was warm and familiar.

It could only have been a few minutes, at least it felt like it as he got shaken roughly. So Geoff had probably just pulled a prank on him, waiting until he was really asleep to wake him right back up.

“Time to move on, Haywood.”

The same blue eyes as before but now they were casting down and he followed them, finding Ray curled up in his side, soundly asleep.

“What time is it?”, Ryan asked confused as he looked around, finding everyone else still asleep.

“Hard to tell. I don't think something like daylight exists here but I let you guys rest for some hours at least.”

Rolling to his back, the counselor sighed heavily as the pounding in his head picked up again: “You should also rest for a bit.”

“I'm fine.”

“Bu-”

“Also I'm not the one who fell asleep after promising to be on watch.”

Ryan couldn't help but grimace at that but couldn't really bring himself to talk back. After all it was true.

“But I also believe they are closing in.”

“The endermen?”

“Yeah. It's just a feeling but we should move on.” Geoff got back on his feet: “Wake the three up. By that time I'll maybe have Jack awake – he's quite the heavy sleeper.”

“Alright.” Carefully, Ryan sat up and couldn't help but chuckle when the knight rolled from him without more than a small grumble. For a moment he considered letting him sleep before he got a better idea. He called him softly until the brown eyes opened and focused on him. Looking around, he stretched a bit before he seemed to realize that he was still tangled in the others cloak and with a heavy blush he sat up: “Sorry.”

“It's nothing.”

“I fell asleep!”

“Well, me too.”

The knight looked at him surprised before he rubbed his face: “Are we going on?”

“Yeah. Will you help me wake the other two?”

“Sure.”

“You take care of Michael.”

He froze immediately, looking down as he bit his lip: “I don't want to hurt him.”

“He's still Michael.”, Ryan reminded him. “Just because he lost his eyes doesn't mean he is made out of glass. He will need some assistance in the beginning but most of all he needs us right now.”

“Alright.”, he whispered with some hesitation but was on Ryans heels when they moved.

The other two were still tightly tangled with each other and the counselor felt guilty to interrupt them but they had no choice. Crouching down, he ruffled Gavins hair until he slowly stirred in his sleep. Foggy eyes looked up to him and he groaned, burying his face in Michaels locks again.

“Gav.”

“But I'm still tired.”, he whined.

“I know. We all are.”

Sighing, he faced his counselor with a pout as if it would change a thing.

“Get up.”, Ryan replied dryly but couldn't stop himself to roll his eyes when the other untangled himself and reached out. Pulling the king up, the arms wrapped around his neck instantly, savoring the warmth.

The counselor let him, his fingers combing through his hair, amused by the amount of glowing dust he sat free. His eyes though were focused on Ray who gently shook Michael awake. The warrior blinked multiple times, confused at first before soft panic settled in as he didn't get the result he was expecting. Sitting up quickly, he swayed dangerously and Gavin reached out to stabilize him. Ryan stopped him but didn't interfere when the knight put a reassuring hand on the others back.

“Deep breaths.”, Ray mumbled shyly. “You're safe, please calm down.”

Michaels breathing eased a bit at the familiar voice and after a moment he reached up, his fingers traveling over his face to his lids. “Oh.”, he made as if he was surprised. “Right.”

His hand fell back into his lap as he turned his face to Ray: “Morning.”

“Morning.”, he replied stiff because the gaze went past him. He didn't say anything about it though. “Can you stand or do you need a moment?”

“I can do it.” But he continued to sit quietly for a while longer before taking a huge breath. With careful movements he crouched and remained like that before he found the needed courage to stand up completely. It was wobbly but he was on both of his feet and Ray quickly joined him, a hand hovering close in case he lost his balance.

With no breakfast or anything else to hold them back, they began to move, quickly falling into the same marching-routine as before and Ryan couldn't deny how proud he was.

Proud of Ray for interacting with the others more even though it was still obvious he wasn't comfortable with the whole situation. Proud of Gavin because he was keeping the two together, letting no awkward silence last and talking with Michael to keep his mind off of other things. Most of all proud of Michael because over the course of the first hour of their march he slowly got back to his old self. Not fully, not even close to that. But he spoke more, sometimes grinned at something Gavin said and he had lost the terrible concentrated face he had worn before. It wasn't completely gone, of course not. It resurfaced every time the king pointed out an obstacle but his steps were safer than before.

Gavin was more than happy to see that, squeezing the others hand occasionally for good measure. He was just describing to Michael the dust that was all around them, getting lost in the fact that it glowed – what use they could have for this!

Maybe if they found the way out again, they could bring some with them?

His face was lowered so he could watch the ground for any stone that was out of place and dared his friend to stumble over it. And maybe to watch the sparkle when he kicked the dust up. So he nearly missed the way that Geoff and Jack suddenly darted away from each other, revealing the violet eyes that were coming for them with a quick yell. But the enderman ignored them completely and Gavin barely managed to give the warrior a shove before dodging the other way.

The sharp claws of the creature crashed with Rays rapier, the force of the attack nearly making him fall over. Instead he threw his whole weight against it and nearly met the ground as the creature vanished.

Shocked, Gavin turned around himself to get an overview and he felt his heart sink with horror. They were surrounded.

He couldn't really count how many endermen there were because more and more eyes lid up in the darkness, painting a circle around them.

“Did we attract them?”, Geoff asked slowly, his back to Jack and his sword raised. “Did one of you use your demon?”

Gavin was sure he hadn't. He was also sure the other two hadn't either.

“Maybe we just stepped in some kind of territory?” Ryan offered.

“Doesn't matter right now.”, Jack interrupted both of them. “Concentrate. Search for an opening we can escape through.”

“What's going on?” Michaels voice was quiet and a bit scared. He sat on the ground where he had fallen, his hand lingering over Mogars handle but didn't dare to draw the weapon just yet.

Gavin quickly jogged towards him, getting faster when he noticed some endermen vanishing, only to appear way closer. Claws met blades around him and he saw the warrior flinch, the grip on the handle tightening but still no other movement.

“Are we getting attacked?” It wasn't really a question as he focused on the nearing steps.

“You have to get up, we have to sta-” The words stopped when a enderman appeared right between them and Gavin was forced to stop. His eyes began to water at the sudden pain erupting in his head and his heartbeat picked up as the claws reflected the pretty glow from beneath. One of it pierced right beneath his ribcage, parting the skin with ease and the king gasped at how cold and sharp they felt.

He had seen these claws sink into Ray before without any struggle but feeling it inside himself was something totally different.

“Gav?”

“Stay down, Michael.”, he mumbled as he slowly reached towards his quiver, whining when he felt his muscles move around the obstacle. “Don't move.”

The enderman pulled him closer and he couldn't help but follow the movements on staggered feet, nearly crashing into the black body. Being so close proved him right on his very first thoughts after seeing one of the creature; they weren't breathing. They just existed with barely any movements because they didn't have to. For a second he nearly burned his foe. He held himself back, knowing that this would just attract more of them. And now he couldn't keep his eyes from the mouth that was opening right in front of him, revealing the terrifying gaping hole beneath. It didn't make a sound but there was a scream in Gavins head that was loud and piercing and it took him a moment to realize it came from his own mouth as he brought the arrow down, burying it deep in the violet eye.

Now the creature shrieked, that same high-pitched noise that might just be able to break glass and could maybe make his head implode right here and now. The claw was ripped from him and this time Gavin cried out at the pain before the figure in front of him disappeared.

Falling to his knees he gasped violently, trembling from the shock as he watched the creature crumble into itself just to his right.

“Gav? Gavin!” Michaels voice hurt his aching head as the king slowly managed to get back to his feet. There were little red drops on the warriors face and he tried desperately to wipe them away: “You are hurt! Are you alright? Gav, say something!”

“Just a scratch.”, he promised as he stumbled over to him. “Sorry, I'm alright.”

“There was an enderman! I felt it! I heard it!”

“It's alright, it's dead. I killed it.” Stopping, he reached out towards his friend: “Come on, I'll help you up. We have to get closer to the others so that we can get away from here.”

“Sure.”, Michael mumbled not convinced but he raised his hand, searching a bit before Gavin got a hold. He pulled to get up and the king gasped at the tear in his middle, losing the strength in his legs as he crashed down, burying the other underneath him.

The warrior called his name and it seemed to be the only word he knew because it was a flood coming from his mouth and even though Gavin saw that, it sounded distant. Finally it did change: “Ryan! Ryan!”

There was a bloody hand and it was shaking as Michael whined, not able to see the color but knowing oh so well what the warmth meant. Then Ryan was next to them, pulling the king into a sitting position against him. It revealed the blood tainting his clothes and sticking them close to his skin.

“Oh.”, Gavin made surprised upon seeing it, reaching down to make sure it was really his. A finger was placed beneath his chin, forcing him to look up to his counselor: “What happened?”

“But I killed it.”, he mumbled confused.

“He's hurt, isn't he?”, Michael crawled closer, the tainted hand searching for them. “There was an enderman! He said it was only a scratch!”

“I doesn't really hurt-”

“You lied!”, he screamed, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. A low growl interrupted them and Ryan shivered because he knew what that meant. Turning his head, he found Ray standing to their left. Rapier in his shaking hand and bared teeth.

“Fuck.”, the counselor mumbled and he quickly covered Gavins mouth, feeling his lips pant the others name against his hand. It didn’t help after all; the grip around the slender sword tightened, the shaking eased but the knight didn't move. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily through his mouth to fight the urges tugging at his body.

Gavin craned his neck, pressing against the shoulder of his counselor as he groaned, his fingers clawing at the others hand. Ryan tried to shush him down, mumbling comforting words into his ear as he pulled the others shirt up. The main-wound wasn't big per se but it divided into another, more swallow one that traveled down to his hip, even breaking open the old scar they had burned into the skin.

He knew enough about medicine to know that it seemed like that was the one which bleed the most but just because the other one wasn't big, didn't mean it wasn't dangerous. Quite the opposite actually; it seemed really deep.

“Call Jack.”, he muttered in between his other words but Michael understood, glad to be able to help. Ryan wasn't happy about the decision but he knew that the blacksmith knew most about wounds and their treatments, Ray too but he couldn't count on the knight here. Once again he cursed about his lack of knowledge.

The body convulsed suddenly and he took a tighter hold to not let him fall down. Gavin coughed roughly and he felt it wet and warm in his hand. Letting his arm sink, he stared in horror at the blood in his palm.

“Sorry.”, Gavin mumbled, his head rolling against his chest. “That's gross. Sorry, Rye.”

He couldn't answer, he simply listened to the whimpers the king made as he twisted in pain. It drew a wince out of Ray and Ryan watched as the knight buried his rapier in the ground, holding on like his life depended on it. Or rather their lives.

“I'll be right back.”, the counselor whispered before pressing a kiss into Gavins hair. Hands wrapped around his wrists instantly: “Don't leave me!”

Words that left him frozen on the spot as their eyes met, the green ones drowning in fear at the mere thought. “I'll get Ray.”, he managed to bring out, trying to explain it to Gavin as if that would change a thing. “I want to get Ray and then I'll come back. I promise!”

The gaze of the king faltered and traveled to the knight before returning. His bloody lips moved and he didn't need to hear to know what he said but Gavin swallowed it down. Managing a shaking breath before he nodded and Ryan couldn’t believe he nodded, he couldn't believe he was granted permission.

“Thank you.” A second kiss against the others temple, a third against the cold fingers as they carefully loosened their grip. “Michael is here. Michael is still here and I'll just be over there, alright?”

Again he nodded, reaching out with closed lids until he felt the warrior. Their fingers intertwined easily and Ryan helped him to shift against the other.

“Hey Buddy.”

Gavins eyes fluttered back open: “Hey Jack.”

The blacksmith took Ryans place, pushing him out of the way because he still couldn't move.

“Can you hold his shirt up, Michael?”

The warrior nodded quickly, his chin propped up on Gavins shoulder as he reached down. Jack helped him before he hummed in agreement: “Exactly like that. You are doing good. Both of you. How do you feel, Buddy?”

“It hurts now.”

“I'll have to take a closer look and that might hurt a bit more. Is that alright with you?”

The king nodded, his eyes still locked with the cold ones of his counselor. Jack followed his gaze and frowned: “Ryan.”

“I know.”, he mumbled and slowly his feet moved. The green eyes widened at that before he threw his head back, wincing at the sudden pain when Jack touched his wounds. He tried to slap the hands away in reflex and Ryan nearly went back to hold them when he heard nearing steps from behind.

Turning around, he caught the knight before he reached the blacksmith.

“Don't touch him!”, Ray screamed threatening. “You're hurting him! Keep your hands from him or I'll kill you! I'll tear you apart!”

Michael flinched, cowering as if he expected an attack but Jack only looked up briefly, checking if he was in danger before asking gently: “Michael? You think you can also take a hold of his hands?”

“Um...”, the warrior made. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

“Thank you.”

Ray riled up as they pinned Gavin down, fighting against the arms holding him, kicking and tearing at every skin he could reach as Ryan dragged him away.

“He's helping him, Ray!”

“No! He's in pain!”

“But not because of Jack i-”

“Let me go! I need to be with him!” And Ryan nearly let him. He seemed to be in control for some part otherwise he wouldn't have left his rapier behind but he couldn't risk it.

“Gavin!”, he screamed, reaching out when the king turned his head towards him.

“Please calm down!”, the counselor pleaded.

“No! He's hurt! I wanna be with him! I need to be with him! Let me go, Ryan! Don't make me hurt you!”

“I can't! Please try to-” Teeth buried themselves in his arm and with a surprised yelp his grip loosened. The knight slipped out but Ryan took hold of his shoulder, spinning him back around to look him in the face.

Dark eyes. Not completely but close to that. He bared his bloody teeth with a growl, ready to lash at him but still holding back somehow.

“You want to help?”, Ryan asked loudly but lost the eye contact when the other found his wound more interesting. “Ray! You want to help Gavin?”, he shook him violently until the eyes were back on him.

Brown, thank god.

“Yes.”, he whispered slowly, shivering at the taste on his tongue. “Sorry, Ryan.”

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate without breathing in the rich scent of red.

The counselor pulled him close, holding tight as he looked around, surprised that they hadn't been ripped apart yet. But besides the first endermen to attack them no others had come and his eyes rested on Geoff.

The first king was walking in circles around them, guarding them like a wolf, his gaze on the endermen around them. Ryan didn't understand why or how that stopped them in any way but he knew the word the others used for this.

Allfather.

“We'll protect them now.”, he whispered into Rays hair. “You, me and Geoff. We'll protect them. Do you remember from what?”

It took a while until the younger answered: “There were endermen.”

“Exactly.” Crouching down, he cupped his face with his hands: “Because they are the ones hurting Gavin. Jack and Michael are making him get better so we protect them, alright?”

He had hoped for a nod or even an answer, not that the others eyes widened in fear. Rays breathing picked up and the counselor was sure he could see his own reflection in the brown before it teared up, the knight looking at him reproachful as if he couldn't believe what he had done.

For a moment Ryan didn't understand, then he noticed his terrible mistake. Letting his arms slowly sink he revealed the hand prints he had left on the others face. With shaking fingers Ray reached up, feeling the texture of the blood and knowing it was Gavins.

The prettiest red of them all.

“Ray?”

He looked up, finding Ryans hands again with so much more of that color. Not only there, how did he notice that so late? All over the counselor.

It was the only color he could see now. Maybe not. Maybe everything else was just too pale to compare.

He started to scream.

Ryan shook him, apologizing over and over but the knight simply collapsed, curling up on the ground. The demon close underneath the skin of the younger as if he could mend the pain the other felt.

Helpless the counselor tried to talk to him but nothing reached until another voice cut through the noise: “Haywood!”

He looked up, finding Geoff standing still with his weapon raised: “He's attracting them!”

“I know! I'm trying!”

“Too late.”, the first king grunted as the first enderman appeared in their middle. Geoff was quick to slay him, knowing that it was just the beginning: “At least help me clean your mess up!”

“Fuck!”, he swore but he knew the other couldn't take all of them alone. He let Ray lie there, hating himself for doing so but knowing that dragging him closer to the others would be foolish. Drawing his sword, he joined Geoff.

 

Michael hugged the shivering form closer, his hands squeezing the cold ones reassuringly. He felt Gavins breathe and that was good. It was fast but steady. Only twice he had been interrupted by coughing that always ended in a wince.

The warrior didn’t like those coughs because his friend seemed to get heavier with each of them.

He wished he could see how badly he was hurt, he wished he could do more. On the other hand he was a bit glad.

“Michael.”

The warrior flinched even though Jack hadn't spoken loud but he had caught him thinking weak thoughts. “Yes?”

“Talk to Gavin please.”

“About what?”

“Doesn't matter. Just keep his mind off.”

“Alright.” Licking his dry lips, he nuzzled the others hair: “Hey Gav.”

“Hey Michael.”, came the answer back softly.

It grew quiet while he thought but he could only remember the last topic they had talked about and it didn't really matter, right? “Tell me more about the dust.”

“The dust?”

“Yeah, it sounded like you liked it. I wanna know more.”

“Um...” The king moved a little in his arms: “It doesn't glow anymore.”

“It doesn't? Why did it stop?”

“Well most of it still gl-” He whimpered and he heard Jack apologize quietly. Moving their intertwined hands a bit down, Michael was able to feel the others heartbeat. It was fast because Gavin was panting now, obviously in pain.

“Why doesn't it glow anymore?”, he asked and he could hear his own voice crack.

“Most of it still is.” And now Gavins voice sounded like he could cry any second: “The ones with blood stopped. I hoped it would glow red now but it doesn't. Ray would have liked it then.” His head rolled heavily against the others shoulder: “I think Ray isn't alright. I want to see him.”

Michael tried to shush him down, holding tightly when the body convulsed making the king cry out: “Where's Ryan? He wanted to come back!”

“Ga-”

“He isn't coming back, is he? He has left!”

“Of course he will!”

“He took Ray a-”

“Buddy.” A third hand joined theirs: “Everyone is still here and everyone is alright.”

He calmed down, Michael could feel it in his heartbeat and he was incredibly thankful for Jack.

“Hey Gav. Wh-”, he began, getting interrupted immediately.

“Hey boy.” Way weaker than before and for a moment the warrior was sure he would lose it. Swallowing, he took a deep breath: “What color does the dust glow in? You never told me.”

“Oh.”, he made, the single sound coming out a bit slurred. “I guess... blue. It looks cold, you know? A really pale blue though. I think you might like it.”

“I'm sure I would.” Because that would mean he could see again. He wouldn't give a damn of the color if he could only see it! “Do you know anything I know with that color?”

“Um...”

“So that I can imagine it better, you know?”

He nodded once but didn't answer. The warrior waited for a moment before he asked: “Gavin?”

“Michael...”, came the answer and he barely recognized his own name. “I think my head is floating away.”

“What?”

“I wish...”, he breathed out deep, slurring the words into a single sound. “Really wish Ryan would hold it down.”

Confused, he knitted his eyebrows together, unsure as to what to answer to that.

“Gavin?”, the blacksmith called softly.

“Jack.”, he whimpered back. “Jack, I feel strange...”

“Can you answer Michaels question?”

The king grew quiet as he tried to remember but whatever he came up with was strange nonsense, a mutter they couldn't understand.

“Gavin?”

“Jack...”, he breathed out and then Michael knew he was slipping away. He felt the full weight pressing against him, his head rolling loosely until it rested on his own chest.

Breathing heavily, the warrior held on to the cold hands, squeezing them in hope for an answer. He didn't get one.

“Jack?”

“Please lay him down.”

“Is he dead?”, he asked.

“Lay him down, Michael.”

“Bu-”

“Michael!”

He flinched at the panic in Jacks voice. He didn't want to let him go! He wanted to hold him a bit longer!

“ _I can't leave him! I promised!”_

That was how Gavin had felt back then, right?

“ _Ray is scared! I can't leave him! Please, Michael! Make them stop!”_

He wanted to make it stop. He really did!

“ _I don't want him to be alone! He will get cold!”_

Gavin really did feel cold now. He really should not put him on the cold ground!

Jack took his hand and forced him to let go. He nearly hit him but he couldn't move. The blacksmith pressed his palm against the others chest: “Do you feel his heartbeat?”

An aching sob escaped him because yes, yes he did!

“Good. Sorry for scaring you. Please lay him down.”

This time he did it, placing him gently onto the glowing dust and wishing he could curl up next to him just like they had done before sleeping. He was tired again and his head hurt.

“You are doing great.”, Jack assured him before turning away. “Geoff, Ryan! I need your coats!”

By that time both of them had been fighting off the endermen coming for them. Standing back to back they were forced to be closer than both of them wanted to be but only like that they could spot them appearing.

That was until all of the vanished at once, leaving them in a sudden silence. For a moment the counselor looked around to make sure he was seeing right and hoping they wouldn’t attack all at once when he heard Geoffs breath hitch: “Ryan.”

An unusual slip of the other and if he was honest that scared him more than anything else. Turning around he knew exactly what he would see and he couldn't help but swallow heavily.

There was a strange figure floating in the sky and he remembered it distantly. It was still a bit blurry and he couldn’t exactly make out the form of it. Maybe a cross?

But the only thing that was clear were the strings connecting the demon to Ray, buried in every joint with sharp thorns. Some of them were moving, making the arm of the knight reach out and draw his weapon out of the ground.

“Sichora.”, Ryan mumbled, not sure where exactly the name came from but being sure that it was the right one. The grip around his sword tightened but he wasn’t sure if he could simply stop Ray in this state without a fight and help from Edgar. Only as he waited of the seemingly irresistible, it didn't happen.

Ray simply continued to stand there, Sichora only sometimes tugging at the strings to make him move.

“Is he repelling the endermen?”, Geoff asked slowly. “I thought they reacted to demons?”

“I don't know.”, the counselor admitted. They had attracted them before, right? But to be honest it could have been Gavins demon or Edgar. But Rays gift was healing, that didn't make any sense!

Jack was calling them and it took some strength to let his gaze fall and look to him. It took even more to actually walk to him, leaving his back wide open for any attack that might come.

But Sichora was floating above them and no endermen came so he jogged towards the blacksmith, watching as Geoff already loosened his coat on the way.

“Thank you.”, Jack mumbled as he took it, quickly exchanging it with his own on Gavins upper body. Ryan was reaching for his when he saw how heavy the stained fabric fell into the dust, leaving it with dark spots.

Geoff had been wearing a green one but red was already seeping through it.

“Do you need mine as well?”, Michael asked.

“Thank you but yours is made out of fur. It will soak too much.”, Jack explained and Ryan wondered how he could be so calm with all this blood. It seemed to be everywhere on him, his hands were full of it as well as his tunic where he had tried to dry them off. Even in his face as he tried to wipe away his sweat.

The blacksmith seemed to notice his stare causing their eyes to met: “Don't you collapse on me, too.”

Ryan carefully shook his head and the gaze wandered: “Geoff.”

Geoff reacted slowly, he had observed Gavins face, something that Ryan hadn't even dared to do yet. “Can't you stop the bleeding?”, he asked, his own face unreadable.

“I'm trying.”, Jack said and now he sounded on edge. “I don't have anything besides cloaks to work with, what do you expect me to do?”

“I-”

“You can help me.”

Geoff nodded before he sat down, applying pressure to the swallow wound like he was told. The counselor wanted to ask what he could do but Jack was quicker: “Call him.”

He had the name on his tongue when Geoff beat him to it: “Buddy? It's time to wake up now.”

And Ryan made the mistake to look up into the others face, finding it pale with slightly parted lips and blood on his chin. Blueish lids that began to flutter weakly.

“Buddy! You are having a nightmare; open your eyes!”

He did.

They searched for the source of the familiar name before they wandered of. It was obvious that they were tired but they instantly lightened up when they found the counselor. Gavin smiled and reached out like he had done after waking up.

Ryan quickly sat down and intertwined their fingers, happy to find his voice again: “Gav?”

Red lips moved without a voice but he knew what he said.

“Of course. I promised, didn't I?”

The king took a shaky breath before moving their hands up and he understood. With his free hand he gently moved the hair away from the sweaty forehead before combing through it, watching how the other settled down with a smile.

The peace didn't stay long before a scream interrupted them. Looking up, Ryan felt his breath hitch because Sichora was now moving, the strings pulling quick but he couldn't see Ray. The knight was completely surrounded by endermen and their death-scream mixed with an angry, desperate one somewhere in their middle.

Jack barely looked up before he returned his attention but his question made them shiver: “Where's Michael?”

“No...”, Ryan mumbled because he saw Mogar. He saw Mogar laying in the dust but he couldn't find the warrior. But he had sat with them just a moment ago! How had nobody noticed him standing up!

The counselor threw the king a last look, finding understanding in the cloudy eyes. Gavin knew that something was wrong and he feared whatever it was. A whine escaped him as Ryan stood up, his fingers gently loosening the desperate grip the other had on him.

“I'm sorry.”, he whispered. “Please forgive me but I'll come back. I'll get Ray and Michael and then we three will be here.”

Gavin tugged at him, the green eyes filling with tears.

“It's the truth.”, Ryan tried to assure him and hoped he was right. “We three will be here in no time at all. I promise, alright? I kept the last promise, I'll keep this one.” He kissed the cold fingers again before letting go and he knew that Gavin couldn’t muster the strength to form words but he didn't need to. The way he cried out in fear was enough to be burned into his mind forever.

 

Michael had noticed it. Among the voices of the others he had noticed the darkness creeping into his mind and he knew something was pulling him. Why he followed the pull was something he couldn't quite explain. Maybe because the other three had to take care of Gavin and they were way better at that than he was.

So he drew Mogar, feeling his heart calm down by the familiar weight in his hands. It picked right back up as he came closer because he recognized the sound greeting him. The soft steps of Ray whenever he fought. It surprised him that he remembered them but now that he really listened they were a bit similar to a melody, to the tact Gavin had showed him to dance to.

They were muffled by something, just like the soft crying he heard and as he stretched out his arm he could feel the sturdy texture. It felt like Lindsays armor but the endermen weren't interested in him this time.

So he took another step, gripped Mogars handle tighter and hauled the sword with all his might. A scream, then a second one and he knew those creatures were dead. He shielded his face and his upper body with his weapon, waiting if he was attacked but nothing came. They were after Ray and the pull got stronger and suddenly he knew that the darkness was the demon luring him.

He gladly listened, taking a huge breath before he sliced through the bodies again, eager to hear more of those screams.

How could those creatures think he was less of a threat than Ray? By now he had won every battle against the knight and a damn demon wouldn't change a bit about that!

With a scream he charged again, striking at least two down before he felt the coldness of claws in his back. Gasping, he wanted to turn around but he was forced ahead as more endermen appeared, all trying to get to his friend. He was just a mere insect, now trapped in their middle as they shifted to close in on the knight that stroke them down with his pretty dance.

Michael called out but barely managed to get air in his lungs as he was getting crushed between the solid bodies. Claws were mindlessly ripping at his clothes and skin as he passed them and then Mogar got stuck somewhere.

He pulled, he tried to go back to loosen it but he couldn't. His hand dared to get crushed between black bodies and he let go with a frustrated yell.

That was his sword! How dare they take it from him!

It was all he had left!

Now he could only try to not get squished here as he was moved forward. The soft crying grew louder and he knew he was nearing Ray. He also knew that the knight was fighting mindlessly and probably wouldn't stop his blade for him. For all he could tell the endermen just teleported away when they got in danger, appearing at the back to push into the middle again.

Ray would simply slice through him the moment he reached him!

He tried to call his friend, screamed his name but then the body in front of him disappeared and he fell into the dust.

Michael curled up, protecting his head as he waited for the piercing pain.

It didn't happen. Ray simply began screaming enraged. He howled like a wild animal but his movements stopped. Now he simply stood above him, Michael could feel his coat brushing over his cheeks, the rapier not able to cut the thick skin of the creatures right away but that didn't matter.

Tearing sounds and weak sobs and growls were swirling all around the warrior but they all stopped instantly.

“Ryan...”, he heard the knight whimper and Michael dared to lift his head as if he could see the counselor. The rapier fell softly into the sand as the other started to cry loudly.

“Ray?” Sitting up, hands found their way immediately around his neck, holding tight enough to nearly choke him.

“Michael, Michael...”, Ray wept loudly. The warrior quickly embraced him, feeling the terrifying shocks going through the other body and couldn't help but tear up himself.

Ryan stood next to them and he was ready to join them there and now. He had tried to break through the wall of endermen just like Michael had but it had been too many. So he had called after Edgar in his despair and they followed the demon. They followed it like little kids, granting him this sight of the warrior and the knight sitting in the dust, both in tattered clothes and both crying into each others shoulders.

Ray looked up, his face red from tears and so full of despair that he could barely take it to watch. There was blood all over the dust but he saw his wounds heal in seconds. He could hear him asking for Gavin as he reached out in a silent plea to take him to the king right before he collapsed.

They both fell to the ground and Michael wailed, burying his face into the others chest before Ryan reached them. He shushed him with a shaking voice, feeling his own control slip as the warrior wrapped his arms around his middle in a desperate search for hold. Edgar disappeared somewhere and he knew he should call him back but he couldn't. He just sat down and held Michael tightly as he cried violently, screaming after Gavin and Ray over and over again.

Someone else also screamed and this time it was his name. Turning around, he found Geoff hurrying towards them. “We have to run. There are too many of them!”, he explained briefly before he took hold of Ray, throwing him over his shoulder. Ryan watched him confused, feeling Michael sob into his chest.

“Move, Haywood!”, Geoff spat as he saw that he was still sitting there. “Move or I swear I will leave you behind! Don’t think I would care!”

So he stood, pulling the warrior with him before he lifted him up, cradling him against his shoulder.

And then they ran.

 

 

_I held the key to the kingdom_   
_Lions guarding castle walls_   
_Hail the king of death_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is "Lost it all" by Black Veil Brides.  
> 4 Chapters remaining...


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don't.”, he managed to say, surprised by the shortness of breath. Don't, this time the word was only in his mind. Don't leave me.  
> Don't leave me, I am scared.   
> I am so scared.  
> He was shushed down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I like to update earlier today because I like to wake up to comments. Yes.

Chapter 13  
  


_Break a sweat, desperate lover  
Do you feel all alone? _

_I fell asleep on your deathbed  
In a hole where your head rests _

 

 

“You have more than one child to take care of! I can't believe you are risking the lives of the girls because of him!” He had heard those words in his feverish mind and even though he was too young and way too delusional to really understand their meaning, it made him cry. His father sounded mad and his mommy was crying loud enough for him to hear.

But he was good, right? They had asked him to stay in his room until he was better. His mommy had explained to him that he was sick and if he got too close to the twins they would get sick as well. He didn't want that! He loved his sisters!

They were looking up to him, asking for piggyback rides and to play with him. His father also loved them very much, a lot more than he did him, so he always tried to protect them. That's why they were the princesses and he was the knight like his father was in the castle, wearing an old blanket as a waving coat in the brightest color he could find and wielding his stick as his broad sword with a mighty name. Like a true hero!

He missed playing with them, he was sick for quiet a while now. Sometimes he woke up and heard his sisters run around, laughing loudly and he really wanted to join.

But he didn't want them to get sick so he stayed here.

 

Ryan had kept his promise.

He had said he would come back and then he did! That was a nice feeling, it spread warmth in every fiber of his body, making his fingers and toes tingle. He was so happy! So happy he could cry or sleep! He could really sleep right now because his head felt heavy but also like it would float away.

That was strange, wasn't it?

Blinking, he saw Ryan leave him again. It sparked such a fear that his mind cleared up. He tried to call after him but no words made it out of his mouth, only begging noises. His hand reached out, not wanting to be alone, fearing to be alone.

Geoff caught it, holding tight: “Look at me.”

A familiar voice. It calmed him a little and he noticed that Jack was there, hovering over his upper body. How strange.

He wanted to see what he was doing but Geoffs free hand found his chin and turned his head: “Look at me, Buddy. Can you do that?”

Of course he could.

 

“Come with me, Gavvy.” That was strange. His father never used his nickname but it felt nice. Maybe he could like him more after he had been such a good boy for so long?

So he didn't remind his father that he was sick and mommy had said to rest in bed but tried his best to stand on the short legs he was pulled on. They even left the room and he pulled his strength together to ask: “Where are we going?”

“The lake. You like the lake, don't you?”

He did. Maybe they could go swimming! He had learned it before he got sick and his sisters had been so impressed! He could show them! He was going to look after them and be all careful!

It was just strange that his father was wearing gloves for swimming, but who was he to question someone working for the king?

 

He focused on Geoffs blue eyes. They had always reminded him of a lake in summer to be honest. Ryans were similar, but not the same. They had a touch of coldness with little specks of ice in them but he knew they were gentle nonetheless.

“Don't.”, he managed to say, surprised by the shortness of breath. _Don't_ , this time the word was only in his mind. _Don't leave me._

_Don't leave me, I am scared._

_I am so scared._

He was shushed down.

Geoffs eyes right now were worried but still they were home but he didn't want to drown in them.

 

It was cold which was even stranger. It had been summer and warm when he had last swum in the lake and that was right before his sickness. Now there was snow. Maybe they were going to go ice skating? That was a lot of fun as well!

He wanted to ask his father but suddenly his legs gave out and he fell. It was soft because of the snow but also cold and wet as the white drenched his thin clothes. For a moment he was just lying there until he was picked up. Not brushing the dirt from him, his father continued to carry him and he blushed happily at the closeness. It had been years since he had been carried by his father. Now he only carried his sisters and they were always laughing so loud it had to be a lot of fun!

And his father was oh so warm, a soft, familiar hum in the back of his throat. A hum he never wanted to forget. It made him slip into an exhausting sleep.

 

Jack was yelling and Gavin feared he had done something wrong. He recognized Geoff immediately, still having his eyes locked with his without noticing. So he was still doing good. He was glad.

And then he was lost.

 

They were at the lake but the surface wasn't frozen. What a shame. Too cold to swim but not able to walk on it. And now that he thought about it, they were alone. Neither his mother nor the twins were with them.

“Where's mommy?”, he managed to say, his shivering form still clutching tightly to the warm body.

“They'll be here soon.” The humming had stopped and he missed it already.

He was sat down at a tree. From here he could see over the lake and it was incredibly pretty. He was happy to see something besides the small room he had been in. His father moved away and looking up to him, he asked: “Where are you going?”

“I'll get mommy and the twins, didn't I just tell you that?”

Oh, right. “Can I come with you?”

“You stay here.”

“Please don't leave me alone.” He couldn't remember the face of the man. This was the first time he dared to look him in the eyes but there were none. Just a blank surface.

“Be a good boy. You can watch the lake. You like to do that, right?”

He nodded. He did like it but it was cold and he was scared to sit here alone. “When will you be back?”

“Soon.”

“Do you promise?”

“I do. Now be good.”

He was good. He leaned against the tree and watched the lake. He waited until he fell asleep. He waited until he woke up in hell. He waited until he saw the bright green trees again. And he was still waiting when the figure with the crown arrived.

 

Ryans eyes were cast down, looking out for anything that could make Michael fall. It turned out that he wasn't really good at it because the warrior had already tripped twice. One time he had fallen down and simply stayed like that. The counselor had watched how his shaking breaths stirred the dust. Once. Twice.

At the fifth time he lifted himself up, standing and slightly turning his head towards the counselor. Stepping forth, Ryan put his arm around his shoulder again and they went on without a word.

They had lost Ray at some point. Whoever was trailing behind him was nothing more than an empty shell. If the counselor were to let go of the limp hand, he would simply stop and stay wherever he was. It was true, he had tried it. Ray also looked at the ground, counting the places where the dust wasn't glowing.

It wasn't that much anymore. They had run and then Jack had stopped briefly to bind Ryans coat around Geoffs. Not only fastening it but also adding pressure to the wound.

They were forced to move on right away and now the red places were growing more again. Maybe the makeshift bandage had shifted. Maybe the coats were drenched already.

“Jack.”, Geoff said quietly. “I think that's far enough. My headache has become better. I don't think they are close.” Ryan had never heard such a gentle tone with this man. He hoped Gavin remembered it.

“Also you are tired.”

The blacksmith stopped, the king still in his arms as he seemed to try to talk back. In the end he simply nodded. Geoff helped him to gently lay him down before he stood next to them unsure of what to do.

“Give me some room to breath.”, Jack muttered. He did sound tired. Tired and on edge and Ryan had asked himself quite some times already who exactly he saw lying in front of him. A king? A demon?

A son?

“Please don't stand in my way. I'll call any of you if I need help.”

“You sure?”

“I am.”

Still Geoff didn't move, his eyes glued to Gavin. What did he see?

He laid a gentle hand on Jacks shoulder: “Don't hesitate if you need me.”

Ryan lowered his gaze, feeling like he was observing something intimate. Wondering if he should leave someone in charge of helping the person they had tried to kill before. But he didn't have a choice, Jack was their only hope right now and he himself had other tasks to look after.

“Are we stopping?”, Michael asked, his face directed in his general direction.

“Yeah. Try to rest for a bit.”

He nodded before sitting down carefully. Turning towards Ray, the counselor sighed quietly: “Ray?”

No answer.

“You should also rest, you are tired.”

Nothing.

And for a second Ryan wanted nothing more than to scream in his face and slap him, telling him to get a hold of himself! He didn't do any of it, he slowly forced him to sit down. Geoff appeared next to him and helped him wordlessly before he settled with them.

Ryan didn't pay attention to him, he had other things on his mind. Reaching out, he cupped the face of the knight, trying to get any reaction out of him.

The eyes looking back were brown but he hated that color. It was an empty brown, the color of dead leaves, too far gone to recover.

He let go, too exhausted to think of a way to wake him up, so he simply wrapped his coat tighter around him. Not that he was shivering, Michael was and he quickly did the same to him.

“Thank you.”, he replied with a tiny smile and Ryan wanted to hug him for trying. Instead he took his sleeve and wiped the remaining traces of tears and dust from his cheeks before sitting down between them.

Now the worst thing began; the waiting. He was fine as long as he could do something, as long as he had something to keep his mind off. Now there was only silence and the mocking pictures, reminding him just how deep that wound had appeared, how fast it had soaked through every coat.

Reminding him that _if_ Gavin died, he would never see him again. He would never prove that he had kept his promise. The last memory of him would be how he had left him.

That was such a painful thought that it broke something inside of him. Just like a part of his mirror had been broken and now it withered and died. Like his mirror did.

Could it be that they shared their pain? Right now it felt like it – a crushing weight on his chest, going oh so deep.

Hadn't he tried to protect his new family? Wasn't that his job? Now Michael was blind and Ray lost in himself and Gavin was dying.

He hated himself.

He hated himself so much and he wished he could swap their places. He couldn't remember wanting anything so much before. To take all this pain on him. He was ready to die blind and only a faint image of himself if that meant to hear them talking again. To see all three of them playing in the rain.

Maybe not in the rain, it was too cold for that. In the snow. It had started to snow, right?

It didn't really matter anyway.

Michael scooted closer, resting his head against his shoulder and for a moment Ryan was sure he would burst into tears. He didn't deserve this.

Swallowing heavily, he tried to calm his breath down, feeling Geoffs eyes on him. He found pity in them. A pureness without mocking words or hidden plans.

A sadness about losing something important deep within but he couldn't say if he was thinking about his son or just the terrifying idea of losing his mirror.

It wasn't important in the end, so the counselor simply let his own head rest on top of the curls, finding them to tickle his neck as he stared the other down. Some of Geoffs clothes had been ripped as they had fought together. He could make out strange marks beneath the gaps before the man covered them with his hands.

They stayed like this for the longest time because there was nothing else to do. He wished there was a way to help, anything besides thinking. If he was honest there was; he could keep an eye out for endermen, he could maybe teach Michael some things to cope with his blindness.

He could try and get Ray back.

He was too tired for any of that and it was a dead weight on his back, luring him into sleep that he refused.

But maybe that was why his eyes were so heavy and he noticed the way Geoff suddenly sat upright too late. Now he also lifted his head, fearing an attack when the first king stumbled to his feet. Michael also stirred, scared by the sudden noises.

And Ryan felt his heart grow heavy when the other man walked quickly towards his mirror. The blacksmith hadn't called for them but now that he turned towards him, he saw Jack hiding his face in his hands.

Geoff sat down next to him, shielding him as he started to whisper.

“What's happening?”, Michael asked quietly.

Ryan averted his eyes, knowing that this was nothing he should watch and had to clear his throat: “Geoff-” Geoff is just helping Jack. You maybe haven't heard him calling but he waved him towards him, that's why. I think I see that Gavin is awake. He's fine.

Ryan decided against those words: “I'm not sure. Michael, you have... it might be...” His voice died. How should he prepare him for that?

The face of the warrior darkened as he slowly nodded: “I understand.” His hand twisted in the others sleeve: “You won't leave, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”, he sighed relieved before he began to scoot around the counselor, quietly searching until he brushed Rays knee. He let his hand feel around until he found the others face. With featherlight touches he invested the features, frowning at what he found. Still he continued to just sit there, caressing the others cheeks and playing with his hair.

Ryan watched for a while, surprised when he saw Ray actually leaning into the touch. Then he decided to risk another gaze, finding Geoffs arms tightly wrapped around Jacks shoulders, cradling the man slowly.

Turning back around he waited for the inevitable, his chest tight and painful. His mind giving a weak attempt to forge a plan; get out of here, get back into their kingdom, get into the Nether.

Pull Gavin out.

“Better now?”, Michael asked and Ray nodded, his eyes now at least tired instead of empty. The warrior smiled before turning his head, listening to the nearing steps.

Geoff sat down quietly, while the blacksmith decided to stand behind him and with a heavy breath the first king began: “We can't stop the bleeding. The wound is too deep and Gavin will bleed out.”

A life ended in two small sentences. If Ryan would concentrate he could count the words.

“Please be assured that Jack did everything he could.”, Geoff continued. It was a warning to anyone who even dared to think otherwise.

The counselor did believe him, remembering the gentle touches and even gentler words he had observed. Looking up to the blacksmith he felt his breath hitch in his throat by the blood on the others face. He swallowed it down: “Thank you, Jack. I know that you had no reason to help us.”

“I had all the reasons in the world.”, the other whispered before he turned away, walking a few steps to be alone. Geoff watched him before he turned his attention back to the other group: “I have to ask you something, Haywood.”

Ryan didn't want to hear it. The bright blue eyes of the others told him that he had figured something out, that he knew something he didn't.

If he dared to ask how it felt to lose his mirror Ryan wouldn't guarantee for anything. It felt like death.

Gavin had felt the same on that dark day that seemed so far away now.

“Do you feel the call of the Nether here?”

“What?”, he asked confused, not expecting that at all. The Nether? Right now he didn't give a damn about the Nether!

“Do you dream about it, do you feel its presence? Anything?”

He stared at Geoff, opening his mouth but unable to express the sorrow he felt as he understood. Ray next to him made a choked sound he himself felt stuck in his throat. The knight stood up fast and walked off. Michael called out to him, a tiny voice in the sudden silence.

“I figured.”, Geoff mumbled. “Me neither.”

“What... what do you mean?”, the warrior asked but it was clear that he feared the answer.

“It means that this realm isn't connected to the Nether like our world is.”, the first king explained while Ryan buried his face in his hands. “That means the influence of the Nether might not be strong enough... to pull Gavin in.”

Realization lit up Michaels face with horror: “He won't get resurrected? But-” The words trailed off and left them in crushing silence. Geoff didn't bother to answer and simply stood up: “I am going to attend to my mirror... You might want to do the same.”

Michael felt Ryan break at those words. The counselor didn't make a sound but the trembling gave him away. The warrior couldn't think of a thing to say to make it better, he wasn't even sure if there was anything to find as the truth sank in.

He really wanted to give the other some time to deal with it but Gavin was dying, he was losing his boy and he didn't want to do it this way.

“Ryan?”, he asked carefully, pulling at the others sleeves. “I'm sorry. I really am! But could you bring me to him? I want... I _need_ to say goodbye. Please.”

The counselor moved, he could feel it but he got no answer. He did feel how he was watched, not sure if the other was mad at him now.

The thought was erased by a hand messing with his locks: “Of course. Sure, we should be with him.”

He pulled Michael to his feet, their fingers intertwining as he lead the way, feeling how the fear crushed his throat once more.

“He isn't conscious, is he?”, the warrior asked quietly.

Ryan let his eyes wander over the body laying on the ground, the pale skin he could make out here and there and the dark spots on the cloaks that were still tightly wrapped around him.

“No.”

“Do you think he will wake up again?”

“I don't know.”

“Alright.”

They sat down right next to Gavin and after a moment of hesitation Michael let his hand search for him, gently roaming over his chest, up to his face. Checking if the eyes were really closed before going back down until he felt the sticky wetness. He halted, a shaking breath leaving his lips as he pulled back to wipe his fingers on his clothes. Reaching back out, he found the cold hand and simply settled to hold it.

Ryan had watched silently before he couldn’t help but admit: “You are so very strong, Michael.”

“Am I?”, he smiled sadly. “It doesn't feel like it.”

“You are.”, he assured him before standing up. The head of the other whipped towards him instantly: “Where are you going? You said you wouldn't leave!”

The counselor couldn't help but shiver at the sudden outburst of fear: “I am just getting Ray. Is that alright?”

“Oh.”, Michael felt his face heating up. “Yeah, of course. Gavin would like that.”

“I'll be back in a minute.”

“Sure.” He turned his attention back to the king and Ryan walked towards the knight who stood on a small hill, rapier drawn like a guardian. He neared him carefully, unsure how the other would react when he laid a heavy hand on his shoulder: “Come with me, Ray.”  
“Do you think Geoff is right? About the thing with the Nether.”

“He might be. The Nether is weak here.”

“How can we be sure?”  
“If Gavin wakes up in the Nether he will be able to walk back out. His wound shouldn't hinder him that much.”

Ray turned towards him, a haunted look in his eyes: “What if I heal him?”

The sight of hope made Ryans heart pick up speed: “Can you do that?”

“I can heal myself? What am I worth when I can't heal him?”

“Ray, your gift is to heal yourse-”

“So that I can protect him! Everything is for him! This gift, this demon was created to protect him! It's my demons purpose as well as mine – if I lose him there is nothing fo-”

“Ray!”, Ryan interrupted him fiercely, shaking him angrier than he wanted to. “That is bullshit! It won't be the end of the fucking world, we ca-”  
“It will be the end of me!”

“It will be not!” He cupped the others face with his hand: “Stop talking like that!” Because it scared him. It scared him senseless.

“I'll heal him.”, Ray muttered slowly.

“There are rules, Ray.”, Ryan growled low. “And we have to obey them! We have been granted those gifts – but that gives us no right to misuse them! You won't know the consequences!”

“Then lets find out!” Escaping the others grip, he began to walk away.

“Ray! I won't let you!”

Turning towards him, he screamed: “He stayed with me! He stayed with me while I died and he got me back out! He went back into the Nether! He went back into this terrifying place and pulled me out – I owe him!”

“But not like this! Gavin wouldn't want that!”

“What do you know? He sure as hell doesn't want to die!” When Ryan opened his mouth to answer, he interrupted him immediately: “And don't give me that mirror-crap! That's bullshit! You don't know him better because of some fucking word! I've known him since we were children – me and Michael know him for years! You? You just stumbled into our life at some point and he probably just wanted to make you feel better with that!”

“That is not true...”, Ryan muttered but the knight didn't give him a chance to collect his thoughts.

“It doesn't matter anyway; you have no right to stop me. It is my choice and I'll pay whatever price is laid on me.” He wanted to turn back around but halted as he saw the crushed expression on the other. Biting his tongue at his own stupidity and jealousy, he tried to calm himself down. It wasn't Ryans fault and he tried so hard to keep them together. He shouldn't get angry at him.

“I'm sorry.”, he muttered. “I didn't mean it like that. I- no matter what happens, I am glad to have met you.”

He walked on, not waiting or an answer that might just be enough to sway him because his feelings were a turmoil he couldn't figure out. So he listened to the one solid voice in the mess: _Save him. Save him, he brought us out._

It could be his demon. It probably was but their goals were similar enough to not mind what the voice was instructing him to do.

Having a plan meant safety and determination; probably why Ryan always had one up his sleeve.

It all crumbled down when he actually saw Gavin. Michael was sitting with him, talking quietly while holding his hand. Not that the king was awake, he didn't move, the paleness of his skin highlighted by whatever dust was left to glow. The rest was red and the color made his knees weak.

“You're alright?”, Ryan asked, a hand on the others back. Ray flinched at the contact before searching for it, pressing against the other while shaking his head: “I can't-”

He couldn't... what? He wasn't sure, he just knew that his legs refused to move on.

“Of course you can.”, the counselor assured him as he pulled gently.

“No! No, Rya- I really can't! He looks so-” Dead. That was the word he refused to say as he fought against moving another step. If Gavin was already dead there was nothing he could do. Then he had lost his purpose!

He buried his face in Ryan chest, listening as the older shushed him down as he tried to relax.

“We'll go to Gavin now.”, the counselor muttered in the hair he was combing through. “We'll sit down and if you want to, you can talk to him like Michael is doing. We will say our goodbyes and stay with him until it's over.”

“I can't...”

“But you _will_ because that's what he would want. Not you sacrificing something for him but for you to be with him. He was with you, right? This right here is enough to repay your debt.”

They moved on, stopping whenever Ray refused to go on but in the end the knight settled down opposite of Michael, drawing his knees to his chest and refused to move. The warrior lifted his head, listening to figure out who they were without having to ask. He settled on Ray, reaching his free hand out to his friend but the knight shook his head, curling even more up on himself.

“Are you alright?”, Ryan asked the warrior as he sat down near Gavins head, watching as the hand slowly fell back as he got no response.

“I think so.”, he answered slowly. He seemed calmer than before, somehow at peace. “What about you?”  
A bit surprised by the question, the counselor had to think about it. Of course he wasn't, not in the big sense. The tense impatience for what he knew would happen was tugging at him but he was glad that they all settled down, waiting here together.

Because in the end that was what Gavin would have wanted.

He opened his mouth to answer, to figure out how to word all of that when Michael flinched visibly.

His free hand joined his other, holding tight: “Gav? Gavin!”

Ryan saw how the pale fingers were digging into the others skin and he quickly checked to see if the other was conscious.

Green eyes stared back, wide and glassy. They focused on Ryan as he took a wheezing breath and he knew that Gavin _saw_. He saw them, he took them in and then the eyes moved, finding Ray who had leaned forward, calling him strongly.

The king opened his mouth which only ended in losing the air he had just sucked in. The green wandered further, eyes squinted to make out Michael who kissed the tips of his finger, spreading warmth over them with every breath.

And the eyes overflowed. Not with fear but with joy as his head rolled back, lips moving and this time Ryan didn't know what he tried to say. His own vision disturbed by tears as he watched him die. Seeing how the spark left his eyes as they went unseeing, staring into the nothing above.

And Ray screamed. Ray took him by the shoulders and shook him, screaming his name, pleading and promising in between. Ryan could barely watch as the head rolled around limply, the eyes still wide open as the pupil expanded lazily. He put a hand over his mouth as he sobbed quietly.

The knight draped himself over the body, burying him underneath as he cried into Gavins neck, begging: “Please, please, please!”

Michael whined nearly silent, still holding the hand, holding it since the beginning and now he laid his forehead against it as tears shook him.

Then the green was swallowed completely by the darkness. And the eyes moved. Ryan saw it and felt the horrible hope tearing at him as they fixed on him. That wasn't Gavin, he knew that much but that didn't help the crushing weight as the demon moved the lips without a noise: _Make him stop._

He didn't know how.

_Please._

He couldn't. He was too far gone for him to reach.

The demon seemed to understand, setting new tears free as the darkness retracted, giving in to a ring of green. And then silence.

If he could describe it as silence because Ray was still screaming and Michael still crying and he himself still smothering his own noises. It was still a silence.

He reached down, gently patting the unruly hair before closing his eyes with trembling fingers. He even reached down to close his mouth, making Gavin look like he was sleeping. Besides the ashen color of his skin and the blood everywhere.

There was a soft glow on the back of the knight and for a moment Ryan only stared, unsure if he really saw it or if it was a product of his overworked mind. Then the glow parted into strings of light, connecting with his joints and when Ryan laid his head in his neck he saw Sichora floating above them.

“No...”, he mumbled when the strings started to work, thorns burying into Rays skin as he was pulled into a sitting position, his face wet from tears and his eyes black.

“Ray...”

The knight didn't react and when Ryan tried to find the strength to reach out to him, the cords snapped. It was a sharp sound echoing through the realm, making Michael flinch and Ray fell into himself, only held up by a single string around his neck, looking more like a noose now.

“S-stop...”, the counselor whispered, now scared to touch in case he would sever even the last connection and let the knight fall onto the ground like a lump.

Michael next to him covered under the aura that was emitted, scooting closer to find Ryan: “What's happening?”

He wasn't sure yet or maybe he just didn't want to answer. He just watched as the detached strings found Gavin, found his wound and bore their thorns in it. A soft light shone and it should give him his hope back. Instead it simply clouded his heart and soul because he felt that rules had been broken and that punishment was ahead.

He didn't seem to be the only one because the warrior gasped, the lifeless hand slipping from his grip as he blindly reached out: “Stop! Stop, please! Ray, don't do this!”

Ray wasn't with them anymore, just like Gavin wasn't and the counselor wasn't sure what that meant but it was something bad. Something bad and dark and rotten but he didn't know how to stop it.

Jack and Geoff were quickly coming towards them and he briefly recalled something about endermen and attracting them. It didn't matter because he watched the nightmare in front of him, his mind trying to find a solution but was also too overwhelmed to think.

And then the strings vanished from Gavins body and he wondered if that meant it had finished the healing. He had seen how fast the demon could be if it was forced to act quick or maybe there had been nothing left to heal to begin with.

The question was put aside as another tearing sound filled the loud silence and Ray fell into the dust, his noose hanging loosely above him before Sichora disappeared completely.

It left the same silence as before but maybe it was also emptiness. Who could know?  
Ryan listened to the fighting around them, to dying endermen and orders for him to help, to call his demon like before and lure them away. Maybe something like that.

There was also Michael asking questions. So many questions.

What is going on. Are we getting attacked. Why is nothing happening. Ryan. Ryan, why don't you answer. Ryan, please say something. Are you still there.

But he couldn't. He had to give his full attention to the two bodies lying in front of him, waiting for their movement even if it was just a breath. That would be enough, they could do that for him, right?

Only that they didn't.

Michael was the one moving, his shivering hands finding Gavin, searching for his neck and resting there to check for a pulse. Nothing.

His breath hitched loudly as he stretched, turning Ray onto his back and doing the same. Waiting, a soft whimper and he went back to the king to check, with the same outcome as before. Back to Ray. Back to Gavin.

And again.

And again.

And again.

He was crying now, tears streaming down his face as he laid his head on Gavins chest, listening intently until he sobbed violently. He crawled closer, nearly tripping over the king to do the same with Ray.

Real silence.

“No...”, he pleaded with them. Pulling Ray close and then Gavin and letting both rest against his chest, their heads bumping together and he apologized for that but maybe, maybe, maybe if they heard his heartbeat they would remember! They would remember and they would do the same and then they would wake up and they could go on and this time he would take both of their hands so that none of them could get lost.

He could nearly feel how the warmth left them and that made him remember Gavins begging to keep Ray warm and now he kept both of them close, his hands trying to rub their backs but each time he did, the bodies dared to slip from his grasp.

So he held them close, oh so close as he screamed. He wasn't even sure which name left his throat but it was loud, louder than any other noise in this place. It hurt his head and his dry mouth and his heart and his soul and as the scream finally died down he felt weak and sleepy.

Burying his face in their hair, he felt like falling asleep with them. Like they had done as children. And he would protect them from monsters or voices or bad dreams. He promised, he promised, he promised on his life!

Maybe he should follow them. What did he have left without them?

He was blind; he couldn't work like this anymore. He could only be a burden! And under which king should he serve?

It didn't matter anyway because they probably wouldn't even make it out of here!

And he was oh so hungry and thirsty and sad.

Yeah, he still had Ryan and he liked Ryan. But Ryan didn't answer, he wasn't sure where Ryan was and what would Ryan want from him?

If he was gone Ryan could go back to his family!

But then he had an even better idea and he laughed into Rays hair because Gavins was tickling him.

“Ryan!”, he called out smiling and suddenly he was sure that the counselor was still there because he had said he wouldn't leave, right? “Ryan, can you kill me? Please?”

And then he was sure that the man was still there because there was a painful wail coming from his left. Michael had never heard that noise from him before and he frowned a bit: “Don't be sad! Don't you understand? I'll go to the Nether, Ryan! I'll find a good demon; a powerful demon! One that allows me to bring them back!”

“M-Michael...”, the counselor whimpered, a hand finding the red locks to comb through them. “Please... p-please stop...”

But he couldn't because now he had an even better idea! “You think I can contract more than one? I could contract a second demon! One who will let me protect you all! We wouldn't have to live in fear of hurt or death, I'll make sure of it!”

“S-stop, I beg you...”

Michaels face brightened because who said only two demons? All the possibilities! If he woke up in the Nether and just screamed for them, offering his body, offering his soul, offering his everything they would come, right? They would come and he would chose which to take!

“Maybe I find one who lets me see again! Ryan, that would be incredible! It's the perfect idea! So please, please kill me! Do it the right way so that I still have a voice to yell at them! But something that doesn't hurt! I'm sure you can think of something and I'll be really fast! I'll get us all together in no ti-” The hand in his hair pulled and he yelped in pain. His arms held tighter to the two bodies, making sure to not let go, to keep them warm when he himself was pulled close, hearing Ryans breath shaking right next to his ear: “Michael... Please try to get a hold of yourself. You are not thinking straight.”

That wasn't true. He felt like he was thinking right, his new plan filling his head up and pushing the sadness further away. Maybe the other was just jealous because for once he was the one with the plan.

“Michael...” A hand laid itself on his cheek, patting slightly and he trembled at the temperature of it. “Rye...”

Ryan felt how the other struggled against his grip but didn't let go. He pressed into his hair and closed his eyes tightly. That was better than to see the pale faces of Ray and Gavin, than to see how their foreheads rested against each other, how they seem to stir whenever Michael moved as if they were going to wake up every moment, refreshed and energetic.

He also didn't want to see Geoff and Jack struggling to keep them save, jumping back and forth to catch the endermen that moved even though Geoff was starring them down. So Ryan followed the warrior into blindness, hoping to get comfortable there, to maybe be able to forget when he heard the small voice.

Sniffing, he moved his head and opened his eyes because it would haunt him for the rest of his life if he didn't.

Gavin stared back at him and that couldn't be because he clearly recalled closing his lids: “Rye...”

He couldn't answer, he just witnessed how the king pulled his hand back before his head continued to rest heavily against the others chest. His body was shaking with each swallow breath he took, before: “Ray? Ray, wake up.”

Michael tightened his grip around them as he started to cry again.

“It's time to wake up now.”

“Gav.”, Ryan called quietly.

“Open your eyes, Ray!”, the voice of the king peeked high at his panic, his hands laying flat on the others shoulder, shaking him with whatever strength he had left in him.

“Gavi-”

“You are having a nightmare!”

“G-”  
“You need to wake up now!”

“Ga-”

“Ray! Wake up now!”, he screamed and Ray did. His eyes opened slowly as if it was a big strain for him and Gavin smiled sadly: “You did something really stupid.”

“You are alright.”, the knight mouthed relieved before he leaned forward, resting his head against the others chest, listening intently before he drifted off again.

Sighing heavily, the king patted the others hair with cold finger before muttering: “You stayed. You all stayed.” He curled up into Michael and was also gone.

 

Geoff had thought about the possibility to simply run away quite some times now. It was a thought he didn't like; he wasn't a coward, he wasn't one to run away from a fight just like this. But even though he stood tall and with raised sword in front of the endermen, not shying away from looking them straight in the eyes, more and more decided to go in for the attack.

By now Jack and himself were able to slay those few but they were growing more with each passing minute and the idea stayed. If it meant to save himself and Jack he was ready to run; after all the endermen weren't after them! He had no business with the vagabond and as far as he was concerned about Ray and Gavin... well, he couldn't save them anymore.

He would take Michael. He or Jack would take a hold of him and rip him away, taking him to safety if needed. He was innocent, he had enough of a burden to carry and didn't deserve to end in a place like this.

Then they could watch how the endermen descended on the demons from a safe distance.

The plan was formed in his head, sitting there and mocking him. But he didn't do it. Not as long as he could hold this position down for them.

Then Edgar appeared and he had waited so long for that to happen, he hadn't believed in it anymore. But now the endermen stopped in their movements and he dared to turn around, watching as the vagabond reached out and gently touched the creatures nostrils before sending it off.

And like before the endermen followed, completely losing interest in them and Jack next to him lowered his axe. The blacksmith was panting, his hands shaking and Geoff knew he was exhausted. Not necessarily physically but mostly mentally.

Jack wasn't a doctor, he knew basic stuff and what he had done by now contained mostly shallow wounds, broken bones and sprained ankles. He had already seen people die beneath his hands but never someone who he cared for.

And Geoff knew he still cared for Gavin.

Stepping ahead, he took the others hand, squeezing before letting go again. He got a thankful look and a small nod as they made their way towards the others with hesitating steps, none of them looking forward to what they were going to witness.

Michael looked up at their nearing, his face red from blood and wet from crying but a smile stretched across it. “They are alive!”, he declared with a rough voice, holding both of his friends tighter as he laughed short and shaking. “They came back!”

Geoff threw the blacksmith a look, debating if the warrior had lost his mind.

“It's true.”, the counselor whispered. He still hid his face behind his hand, his other buried in the red locks. “It's true... they...”

He stopped himself but Jack was already kneeling before them, his hands gently searching for a pulse on both of the bodies. Not that it was actually needed, he saw them breathing. Gavin took deep ones, clearly asleep but Rays were frantic and shallow as if he was having a fever.

But a fever was better than being dead.

“They are.”, he agreed, hearing his own surprise in his words. Suddenly there was a lump in his throat that was hard to swallow around. Giving both of them a pat on their cheeks, he stood back up: “They are alive.”

 

 

_I just close my eyes and fall asleep on your deathbed  
Can we be resurrected? _

_I'm facing truth so unfamiliar  
I'm your saint, will you be my savior? _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is "deathbed" by There for Tomorrow. See you next week!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gently he took hold of the others chin, turning his head to look at him: “Where are you right now?”  
> His brows furrowed as if he had to think hard about that before he came to a conclusion: “We are in The End. We went here through the trapped night and the dust glows. I think I died here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> The story if closing in, we are nearing the end (pun intented)! I wrote the last chapter yesterday, so there will be 16 chapters and an epilogue!  
> Let's enjoy this while it lasts!

Chapter 14

 

_Now, despite your hopes you're just like us_   
_Yeah, you're just like us_   
_Despite your prayers you're broke like us_   
_Yeah, you're broke like us_

 

 

Ryan felt a sharp pain burning in his chest and he immediately called Edgar back. While they had wandered – none of them were left in the shape to run – in the exact opposite direction of his demon, he had wondered how long he could keep Edgar going. The last time he remembered briefly that his demon had just dissolved and that had clearly been without pain.

Now he felt his breath catch in his throat as he tripped over his own feet. Quickly he let go of Michael to not pull him down as well as he fell to his knees, grabbing at his chest as he gasped for air.

“Rye?” Searching hands on his shoulder as the warrior carefully sat down next to him: “Are you alright? Is there an endermen?”

“No.”, he managed to bring out before coughing dry. “I'm fine.”

Michael didn't listen, of course not.

“ _He's hurt, isn't he? There was an enderman! He said it was only a scratch!”_

His hands quickly searching his body for wounds, not even reacting when Geoff stepped towards them: “Feels like your demon is back.”

“Yeah.” Ryan was forced to look up to him and was not pleased by it but he didn't trust his legs yet. “Made quite an entrance.”

“I see.” Scooping the still sleeping form of Ray a bit higher, the first king turned around, searching his mirror before nodding: “We're resting here.”

“I can go on!”, Ryan declared immediately.

“Quite selfish of you, Vagabond. Jack is tired. He was fighting while you were sitting on the ground like right now being useless.”

“Asshole.”, the counselor growled as Geoff turned away but he didn't miss the thin smile on his face. He revealed Jack behind him, rolling his eyes as the other passed him: “You really are an asshole.”

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

Sighing, the blacksmith gave Ryan a shrug before kneeling down to carefully lay Gavin onto the ground. But the green eyes fluttered open instantly, looking around haunted as he sat up.

“We're safe for now.”, Jack assured him. “How are you feeling?”

“Um...”, the king made but didn't seem to think about answering. First his eyes darted around, counting the people and maybe resting a moment too long on either Geoff or Ray before he answered: “I'm not sure... really disorientated and tired. But mostly...” He stopped, holding his head as if in pain.

“Alright, you should rest. Just let me take a last look on the wound and you can sleep.” Jack reached out, slowly unwrapping the stained cloaks from around his upper body, firstly to give him more room to breath but also because he had to see to believe that the other was healed.

“You were there.”, Gavin mumbled, his gaze distant. “There was Geoff and you above me and then I slipped away.”

The blacksmith frowned, not about the new, slightly lighter skin he now saw stretching over the wound but over the words. Slipping was a word Gavin had used as a kid when he got confused with his dreams and his reality.

Gently he took hold of the others chin, turning his head to look at him: “Where are you right now?”

His brows furrowed as if he had to think hard about that before he came to a conclusion: “We are in The End. We went here through the trapped night and the dust glows. I think I died here.”

“Are you awake right now?”

He opened his mouth but no sound came out, his eyes looking right through Jack.

“Buddy?”

The king focused slowly: “I-I think I am? Is that right?”

“Yeah it is.”, the counselor smiled reassuringly before letting go of his face. “You should go to sleep now.”

“You saved me.”, the other muttered.

“I tried but I failed.”

Gavin winced a bit at that before he moved his hands hesitatingly. “Jack?”, he asked shyly, skipping around a bit. “Can I hug you?”

The blacksmith looked at him surprised: “Sure you can.”

The king wrapped his arms around him, holding on tight as he buried his face in the others chest: “Thanks for keeping me alive.”

“It's nothing.”, he muttered back but it sounded sad. It crushed his heart that Gavin actually asked. He never had before, there had never been a need for that.

But there probably was one now.

“Sorry for scaring you into thinking I was dead.”

“I'm glad that you aren't.”

Gavin chuckled happily at that before he let go: “I think I will sleep now.”

“That sounds great.”, Jack agreed, feeling his own exhaustion catching up to him. He got up to check one more time on Ray which Geoff had laid down next to them. The light feeling vanished upon seeing him. While Gavin was weak from the lack of sleep and the strain on his body, Ray seemed to be sick. Pale, cold skin, covered in sweat, purple lids and swallow breath. He still hadn't woken up after whatever had happened.

Frowning about the knight, he followed Geoff, knowing he couldn't do anything right now. He could only hope that sleep would help.

“Who's being on watch?”, he asked as he reached the other three. “It won't be me, I need to sleep.”

“I'll do it.”, Ryan offered instantly.

Jack wanted to talk back but realized it would be futile. Michael couldn't be on watch and by the way he was resting his head against the arm of the counselor he was also exhausted. Geoff as well, having been awake the longest of them, his eyes laced with dark rings, so Ryan was their best shot. Even though he didn't look any better than them, his breathing swallow and his lids heavy.

“Just don't fall asleep again.”, Geoff muttered without a hint of ill-intent in his voice. “Wake us before that and we will move on. We have to hurry.”

“I know.”

“What about Gavin and Ray?”, Michael asked quietly.

“Both asleep and they aren't hurt.”, Jack assured him. “But Ryan keep an eye on them, mostly Ray. Wake me up when there are problems.”

“Do you think there will be problems?”

“I hope not.”

“Alright.”

They settled down a bit away from them as always while he himself helped Michael to sit down, the face of the younger one dark: “I wish I could be of more help.”

“You did fantastic today.”, Ryan assured him quickly because it was true. He thought he had become used to how strong the warrior was by now but he always surprised him. Besides the very end and his desperate plans he had hold himself together and even then he had at least thought of a solution. He himself had just felt shallow and empty.

“But you are tired and if I could see, I could h-”

“You are also tired.”, Ryan interrupted him, combing gently through the locks. “Try to rest.”

“Bu-” “No buts.”, he demanded, amused by the way the other pouted. “Fine!”

The warrior curled up, first next to him but quickly rested his head on the others thigh like a cat asking to be petted. Ryan did it absentmindedly, trying to get comfortable enough to sit and watch for the next hours but not too comfortable to fall asleep as it got quiet around him.

It couldn't be long before he saw the movement, feeling his heart throb by the mere thought of yet another attack. But it was only Geoff turning around before sitting up. Their eyes met and he wondered if the other was checking on him. He couldn’t even be mad; after all he had fallen asleep the last time.

“Lay back down.”; he muttered. “I am fine.”

“I'm not really a trusty person.”, the other replied with a shrug. He didn't settle back, he didn't relax, he simply continued to watch over Jack.

They sat for a few moments in awkward silence until Ryans eyes fell back on the ripped clothes of the other: “Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

Not listening, he nodded towards the revealed skin: “What are those marks? I noticed them before but I can't say I ever saw something similar.”

The other quickly covered his arm: “None of your business.”

Rolling his eyes, Ryan decided he wasn't that interested anymore. Michael shifted with a content sigh, turning around so that he was back laying on the ground. The counselor quickly tugged the fur coat back over him, not risking that the warrior was getting cold.

The blue gaze was still resting on him, he felt it but didn't mind.

“Of course you wouldn't know those marks. You don't wear them.”, Geoff continued, making the other look up. “I don't think there is any other person wearing them besides me. Or at least Jack said that.”

“Where did you get them?”, Ryan asked, his own curiosity getting the better of him.

“The Nether.” The other threw him a smirk but it was thin, only covering bad memories: “You see when demons get mad at you, like really mad they tear at you until they leave a mark.” Fumbling with his sleeve, he pulled it up and revealed his arms. Every patch of skin available was littered with twisted symbols and strange runes. Reaching out, he pulled his other sleeve up, this arm looking the same as the other. “I am not going to strip down but I think you get what I mean.”, he chuckled darkly. “There are many demons in the Nether, you know that. And damn they get mad when you refuse them.”

Swallowing dry, Ryan let his eyes roam, figuring he wasn't even seeing most of the marks: “Do they hurt?”

“They did get burned into my skin. But not anymore, no.” Covering his arms again, he muttered: “But creatures fear them, it can hold them back sometimes. They can sense them, I guess. And they do connect me to the Nether in some way.”

“I see...” He nearly felt guilty for asking in the first place now that he saw the distant look on the others face. It was a dark look and it took him a while to recover from it, before the eyes focused back on the counselor: “You are awake?”

“I am. I won't fall asleep again.”

“If you do... just wake me, alright? Let Jack sleep, he is really tired.”  
“Of course.”

Geoff nodded before he laid back down.

It grew silent afterwards as finally everyone seemed to rest and he envied them for that. He would nearly do anything to join in, preferable in his own bed. It had been weeks since he had been home.

He missed it. He also wondered what would have happened if he hadn't followed to Werringtal but he was too tired to really think about that.

The hours passed or at least he hoped they did as he sat there, his mind traveling lazily. To Lindsay, hoping she was alright. To his empty stomach that was bothering him but not as much as his dry throat. They had to get out and that soon.

Very, very soon.

First he didn't notice that Gavin was awake. The king must have moved really carefully for him not to see him in the corner of his eyes, only when he turned his head in the general direction.

He was sitting next to Ray, staring down at him, a hand hovering over the others head. For some minutes Gavin didn't move until he retracted his hand, sighing lowly.

Pulling his legs up towards his upper body, he wrapped his arms around them before resting his head on his knees.

Ryan kept an eye on him but didn't say anything. The king had to know he was awake but hadn't talked to him either so he surely didn't want to. Maybe he had a nightmare and was just trying to calm down. After the last hours that wouldn't surprise him.

So they sat in silence and maybe he was already back asleep, he seemed to be exhausted enough to fall asleep in that uncomfortable position but then he raised his head, looking back to Ray.

And this time he was crying, big tears rolling down his face but he didn't reach out again. It tore at Ryans heart and this time he couldn't stop himself: “Gavin?”

Flinching, the other stared at him, his eyes wide and scared and leaking.

“Is everything alright?”

He shook his head violently until his hair was in his face and he had to brush it back with white fingers.

Frowning, Ryan was debating if his limps were really too stiff to stand up when he already heard nearing steps. Gavin threw himself at him with so much force, he couldn't help but land on his back with a soft huff. It was nearly comfortable like this, if the rigid breath next to his ear didn't spark fear into his heart.

“Calm down!”, he insisted sharp as he sat back up again, groaning a bit at the extra weight. The moment it was possible Gavin wrapped his arms around the others chest so tight, Ryan actually felt like it troubled his breathing: “Gavin!”

“I am here, right?”, he got as an answer. “I am here and I am not slipping and this is not a dream!”

“Of course.” He let a hand rest on the others back when he felt a sharp tug.

“Please hold me. Oh god, please hold me. Please keep me here!”, he whispered frantically.

“Sure, alright. You are safe a-”

“Tighter! Keep me here!” The hand of the king clawed into his back and Ryan could have sworn he felt their dampness. Quickly he wrapped both arms around the other, stunned by the deep trembling that was going through him: “What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”

He shook his head: “I don't think so... but maybe I am having one right now.” Craning his neck, he looked up to his counselor: “I think I was in many places like back when I was a child but this time they weren't dreams! I think they were real or at least they had been real! And some of them were cold and some were really hot and I think I was home once but I don't wanna go back!”

Confused, Ryan tried to find a sense in those words but was distracted by the big eyes, darkened by fear even though the pupil seemed to be tiny: “When I close my eyes I see that place again and I really don't want to go there! Something there is really mad at us! Something is really mad at Ray and I think it wants to get him!”

“What is it?”

“I don't know!”, he whimpered. “I think it's The Truth but it is also wrong! It's in the Nether but it was here! It follows us and I don't think it will let go! I don't think it will let go; I think we made a mistake and now we can't change it! I know that Ray broke the rules and now it is mad.” He buried his face again, quietly sobbing: “It is mad and it waits behind my lids!”

Ryan shushed him down as he pondered over these words, trying to figure out what of those were true and what a product of a nightmare. Moving his hand to pat the others head, he felt a terrible tremble going through the body: “No, no, no! Don’t let go!” A high-pitched sound escaped the king in his panic and the counselor quickly held him: “Alright! Alright I got you!”

“Don't let go...”, the other cried, his whole body shaking. “Don't let me go there, don't let it get Ray!”

And the bottomless fear the other was feeling seemed to be infectious because Ryan felt it creeping up on him, having to turn around and watch his back. Nothing.

“It won't get any of you.”, he muttered.

“It will.”, came the answer back. The only sentence he had said that was clear and without shaking. “It will get us when it's ready. It's just waiting right now.”

 

It felt like hours until he calmed the king down enough to even make him consider to move. Not even far, just so that he could get into a more comfortable position. Gavin shifted fast, slipping between his legs and resting his back against the others chest. Before Ryan could do so much as react, his arms were pulled around the shivering form. Still he was glad for that because he felt the sleep right around the corner and as long as Gavin kept him awake that was good.

But not for the king himself: “You need to rest.”

“I did.”

“You need to rest more. Just think about the strain your body have gone through.”

He quickly shook his head: “If I fall asleep I will go back. I don't know to which of these places but I want to stay here!”

“That's no solution.”  
“I don't care.”

Sighing, Ryan propped his chin up the other shoulder to see their surroundings. Waiting until the other slowly settled down to play with the dust so that he could pay attention to any nearing endermen. The unsettling words of the king where still nagging at the back of his mind but by now he couldn't wrap his brain around it. Maybe he didn't want to.

Right now they had to concentrate to get out of here and he knew they had to be fast. They were getting weak. It was hard to measure time here but his throat was dry and itchy and he couldn't distinguish if the headache was coming from endermen or from dehydration.

“You think this is a dying world?”, Gavin asked him, letting the dust get carried away from his palms. “You think some catastrophe happened here and that's why this is so empty?”

“What makes you think that?”

Looking up, the king nodded towards the sky: “There are no stars here. I've been thinking that maybe they have fallen down.”

“I don't thi-” Gavin threw the dust in the air and for a second it really looked like stars raining down on him. It made him shut up.

“Maybe that happens when a world dies.”, Gavin continued to muse. “Maybe it becomes a realm like this or the Nether.”

He didn't know what to answer so he stayed silent. The king didn't seem bothered by it, too fascinated with the dust until the arms around him pulled him even closer, allowing Ryan to bury his face in the others neck: “I've watched you die.”

This time Gavin didn't say a thing but he brushed of his hands before putting them over the others.

“I've watched you die.”, the counselor repeated. “I saw the life vanish from your eyes and I think I felt your body grow cold. It felt like dying myself.”

“I know.”, he muttered quietly. “I've felt it before.”

“Let's never do it again. Promise you'll never do it again!”

“That's a stupid thing to promise, Rye.”

A small whimper came from Ryan and the king laid his head back, watching the dead sky above them, ignoring the whispering: “Let's do it together next time. We should die together next time.”

He closed his eyes, knowing that his counselor was tired. Tired and exhausted and shaken, only going on by his sense of duty. That these horrifying words weren't true.

“Rye...”, he reached up, twisting his hand in the others hair. “You kept your promise and I was really happy. The last thing I remembered before I was in that... in that place, was you three and I was happy. I wasn't alone and I was so incredibly happy. I was at peace then, so... that's the only thing I ever wished for.”

“Never do it again...”

“You are being a baby!”, he sighed before chuckling lightly. “You always get like that when you are tired. Maybe _you_ should sleep.”

He shook his head, of course he did. At least he stopped talking like that, keeping those dark words to himself. They would sound foolish anyway after he had rested and his head was clear.

“It's different now.”, Ryan muttered.

“What is?”

“That melody.”

And Gavin realized he had hummed in the silence, somewhere in the back of his throat just like the song was always buzzing in the back of his mind.

“It sounds right now.”, Ryan continued. “Whole. Before something was missing.”

“I remembered it.”, the king admitted with some hesitation. The memory was distant and blurry, just like he wanted it to be. It was a memory that poisoned his very being but this one melody seemed to cut through it. He was unable to stop it: “I think it's a lullaby.”

“I think you are right. Were you trying to get me to sleep?”

No. “Maybe.”

It seemed to work the other way around because after some more time Gavin slumped against him, his head mindlessly lolling against his chest as he slept. Ryan let him, feeling a bit lonely now but knowing the other needed to rest as much as they all. So he waited until he felt the own exhaustion right around the corner, knowing he was going to fall asleep himself if nothing happened.

“Wake up.”, he muttered with a dry throat, having to clear it immediately. Gavin sat up, rubbing the tension out of his neck as he looked around: “We're moving on?”  
“Yeah.”

“I can stay awake though. If you want to catch up on some sleep yourself.”

“We have to go on.” He let his arms slip from around the king, watching him flinch as he covered down. It took him a few deep breaths until he pulled himself together underneath the attentive look of the other. With a small nod he stood: “I'll wake the others.”

“Sure.”, Ryan agreed, watching him go before turning to Michael and shaking him gently. The warrior shot into a sitting position, his lids open and his head turning as if he was trying to orientate himself before he frowned.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”, Michael sighed while rubbing his temples. “I think it's the worst after waking up. I feel dizzy.”

“Do you want to sit down some more?”

“If this is alright?”

“Of course. I'll just be over there, call if you need something.”

The warrior nodded before letting his head rest on his knees, listening intently to paint his own picture of the surroundings.

Meanwhile Ryan sat down next to Ray, debating if he should wake him or not. He still looked pale and sick, tightly curled together with his cloak wrapped around him but as the counselor reached out to check on his temperature, the brown eyes opened.

“Hey. Do you want to sleep some more?”

Blinking, the knight looked around before shaking his head. He sat up slowly, wincing at his sore muscles, rubbing his legs thoroughly before standing. Ryan stayed close, not really trusting the shivers running through the small body. They stopped instantly when the knight looked up, finding Gavin in front of him.

Both of them stared at each other for a long time with no spoken word, displaying a tension that hadn't been between those two before Ray turned away, checking on Michael.

As they all finally moved on it was so much slower than before. Of course Michael still held them back but with Gavins gentle guidance it had become better, his steps surer and faster. It was Ray who seemed to have a hard time keeping up.

Ryan let himself fall back with him, making sure to still be close to the others but also that they didn't lose the knight. He had asked Ray if he needed help but got a steady head shake in return.

So now he listened to the pained pants from him while carefully watching Michaels steps, wondering who of those two would be the first to collapse.

It was funny because he was wrong with both. It was when Jack called from the front, something about pillars he could see, or maybe not, if Ryan was honest he mostly heard a white noise in his head. But he forced himself to look up, ignoring the hot, black spots in his vision in search for something else besides this damn dust. He found Gavin who turned around, searching his eyes and he wondered briefly if he had made some kind of noise because the king was calling him, he could read it from his lips because his head was filled with static and then he fell.

He fell and hit the soft ground and watched the stars rain down on him and then Ray was floating above him, a scared look on his face. He wanted to reach out, to tell him it was alright but his arms were too heavy and as he closed his eyes he was gone.

“Ryan!”, Gavin screamed as he headed back, tugging a stumbling Michael behind him as he fell to his knees next to the knight. He heard Michael call after the blacksmith already as he shook the other without getting a reaction.

Rays hand hovered next to his before he pulled back, covering his mouth and then his eyes. A strangled sound escaped him, making his two friends look towards him as he curled into himself, quietly whispering: “We're all going to die here...”

The king stared at him, listening to the first words the other had spoken since waking up and feeling the hopelessness reaching for him, emitted by the despair of the knight.

“I'm sorry.”, Ray whimpered, his voice a shaking mess. “I couldn't stop it! I can't stop anything and we will all die in this place! We won't get back home a-”

“We will!”, Michael interrupted him fiercely. The anger so familiar in his voice that they could nearly pretend he was the same as back home. “Of course we will get out! And don't even give me that crap about dying; I am not dying in a place like that!”

Sniffing, Ray looked up to him, his eyes tired and wet. He didn't say a word as the warrior carefully found his way to him, stumbling only once before dropping down next to him and pulling him against his chest: “And you can't stop anything? You fucking brought someone dead back! You fucking brought yourself back! Are you stupid or something?”

Not answering, he simply continued to cry silently and Gavin watched it with a heavy heart, his hand carefully brushing Ryans hair out of his face. His skin was cold and damp when Jack kneeled down next to him.

“I think he is just tired.” It was more a hopeful question from the king when the blacksmith felt for the others pulse.

“Probably. He wore himself out.”

“I told him he could wake me.”, Geoff grumbled low.

“Then you would probably be the one laying here. You were also spent. We all are.”

“What can we do?”, Gavin asked. “How can we help him?”  
Jack laughed unamused: “Some rest, a healthy meal and a lot to drink should work wonders.”

Geoff behind him snorted a bit before kicking up some of the dust: “We have no time for that!”

“Well then we will take the time!”, Gavin growled at him. “It's not like we have any other choice!”

“We could just leave him here and check out the pilla-”

“Oh, just leave him behind?” The king was on his feet, his hands curled into tight fists: “Great plan!”

“I didn't say that! I was thinking we could break into groups and look fo-”

“Fuck you, Geoff!”, he snarled before he realized his own words. His father also looked surprised before Jack interrupted both of them: “Enough now. We are all on edge but that doesn't mean we have t-”

“Also you really don't want to reach those pillars.”, a new voice greeted them amused.

They turned around hastily, not really expecting a seventh person in their middle at a place like this. But there he was; a young man with ravenblack hair in some distance from them. Only that he was right next to Ray and Michael in the next second, making the knight scramble away while dragging his friend along.

“Seems like you guys have reached your limits.”, he admitted, his violet cloak only waving by the soft wind and not by any movement. “So that really wouldn't be the best place for you to go.”

They were on their feet immediately, their weapons drawn and ready: “Who are you?”

“They call me Kdin.”, he explained eagerly. “I am an enderson.”

“An enderson?”, Gavin asked quietly, his arrow searching a place to pierce through the light armor he was wearing. He noticed one of the same pearls that had opened the portal in the chest plate of the other, the eye rolling in it.

“Yeah, something like a guardian, I guess. You guys really have liven up this place.” He crouched down next to Ryan but was stopped by a rapier in front of his face.

“Step back from him.”, Gavin growled, the bowstring drawn back until it grazed his cheek.

“No.”, Kdin simply remarked before playfully tipping against the blade in front of him. Ray disappeared, just like the arrow that had been shot and for a moment Gavin was absolutely disorientated because he noticed the knight right next to him, the rapier suddenly pressed against Michaels throat.

The warrior gasped surprised, unsure of what was going on but that was nothing against Ray, who jumped back like he had been caught on fire, letting his weapon sink quickly. “What..?”, he muttered confused.

“Don't do that again.”, Kdin remarked, his voice way sharper than before. The arrow was hovering over his finger before he flicked it away. It impaled the ground with a soft thud, right next to Ryans head. “Your weapons can't reach me.”

“What do you want then?”, Geoff asked, lowering his own sword.

“Well what I want is basically to play some more. You guys are the most entertainment I got in years!”, he crooked his head. “But too bad I am not allowed to do so, seeing as something is really pissed because of some of you. And you see; we Ender are not really on the best terms with those filthy demons but most of all we don't want to deal with them. So the easiest way to avoid trouble is to give them what they want.” He touched Ryans chest, making his lids flutter weakly. “And they want you.”

There was a sudden light and Ray had to avert his eyes, reaching out to grab Michaels arm because he hoped he was wrong, because he hoped this stranger didn't just indicate that he was going to sent them to the Nether. He pulled the warrior close, ready to shield him with his body or at least keep them together even though he knew they were going to be sent to different realms.

He had already passed the test and was free to wander through that realm. Michael not and he wouldn’t pass it. Not while being blind.

The light slowly eased down and he was still holding his friend. It was a bit warmer but not nearly as hot as it should be.

Ray carefully opened the eyes, still blinded by the brightness around him but he could make out a dark figure in front of him. After blinking a few times, his vision focused enough to make out Lindsay.

She stared at them like she was seeing ghosts before she moved. Her steps first were slow but quickly picked up speed before she threw her arms around Jack and Geoff.

“Thank god!”, she whispered but it echoed through the mostly empty hall. “You are safe! You all are!”

“We... are.”, Geoff mumbled confused, patting her back. “We are back.”

A bit disbelieving, Ray let his friend go, throwing quick glances around. They were back in the main hall of the temple, right behind the archway and the portal. He shivered at the trapped night, turning around at the tugging on his sleeve: “We're back, right? It fells different.”

“Yeah.”, he answered Michael before he sheathed his rapier.

“What's with this blood?”, Geoff wanted to know, holding the guardian at arms-length as he noticed the red on her neck and shoulder. “Were you hurt?”

“I sneaked out yesterday.”, she admitted. “I was growing hungry and thirsty so I figured I'd sneak into the camp before reinforcement would come. I took three men out and this is just a scratch. I just didn't want to waste any water to wash it off.”

“Do you still have something?”, Gavin asked quickly before he ran towards the bags she was pointing at, far enough from the pile of bodies she had created. “I took everything I could grab.”, she explained before she let her eyes travel, watching as the king came back with three waterskins. He gave one to Ray, throwing the other towards his father before he crouched down next to his counselor, shaking him gently: “Rye? I have something to drink for you.”

The lids fluttered weakly and he nodded but Gavin had to help him to sit up, supporting him while he drank.

“How long were we gone?”, Jack asked before taking the water Geoff was offering him.

“Five days.” She ripped her eyes from Michael: “But time doesn't flow identical in different realms.”

“Honestly, I can't say how much time has passed.”, Geoff muttered before turning towards the portal. “We should probably close that. I don't want anything from The End following us out.”

“The pearls are the keys. Should be enough to just pull them out.”, Gavin explained before taking a huge sip from the water before offering it back to Ryan. But his counselor shook his head.

“You sure? Do you want to eat something?”

“No, thank you.”, he mumbled as he rested heavily against the king. “I would like to sleep some more.”

“Of course.” He gently guided him back down, amused by the small tugging on his coat because that was the way Ryan asked to lay with him, to stay and cuddle. It only happened when the other was terribly exhausted but it always made Gavin smile: “Soon. I'll just have to do something first.”

He stood up and walked towards the portal, feeling Ray right next to him: “You will have to jump.”

The king nodded as he looked down. Just out of reach for him to lower himself but what worried him was the small ledge he would have to land on: “How the hell did Claudia do this?”

“Don't know.”

“Don't fall back in!”, Geoff called and Gavin rolled his eyes. “I wasn't planning to!”

“There has to be another way.” Lindsay walked up to them: “No way Claudia made that jump with her shoes.” She was bringing out her scythe: “If I prod a pearl the worst that could happen would be for it to fall in, right?”

“Give it a try.”

She moved carefully but in the end it wasn't needed. The moment her blade made contact with the pearl it began to float up gently until all she had to do was hold out her hand so that it could land there. The portal beneath them shut down and Ray and Gavin gathered around her to take a closer look.

“The eye in it disappeared.”, she muttered before shivering and holding it out to them. “I am not keeping this, it's creepy!”

After some hesitation Ray took it, careful to not let it fall.

“Lindsay, what time of day is it?”, Jack asked, making her turn around.

“Evening. Do you want to stay the night here?”

He nodded: “We're safe here for now. We head out in the morning.”

They settled in the middle of the hall where they shared food and some of the stories of what happened. It was still a confusing mess and they were all tired. Gavin even had to keep both Ray and Ryan from falling asleep so that they ate properly but it surprised nobody when they all agreed to rest before the last light of the day faded.

Lindsay listened to their breathing even out as she watched the snow fall in front of the windows as long as she could while laying on her back. It was a more comforting sight than the ridiculous glowing that ensheathed the others, apparently because of some dust that still lingered on their clothes. She had agreed with Gavin; it was pretty but still unsettling. Maybe just because it was foreign.

In the end it didn't matter because for the first time in what felt like forever her breaths weren't the only ones in the big hall and she wasn't forced to simply wait.

Either for soldiers trying to break open the heavy doors or for the return of the others, unsure of what would happen first. Or happen at all.

She was just going to be happy to leave this place soon.

There was hectic turning to her left, followed by an angry huff.

“Michael?”

He grimaced: “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I wasn't sleeping.”

The warrior turned towards her: “Is it still night?”

“Yeah.” She watched him in the dark, a bit speechless by the glow he was emitting: “Can't you sleep?”

He shook his head before letting it rest on his arm: “This hall... it sounds so big! I get really disorientated here! And...” He blushed slightly: “I guess it's just a bit scary.”

She hummed in agreement: “Your hair glows.”

Reaching up, he snorted: “That will take some time to wash out. I have the feeling this damn dust is everywhere. It's weird, isn't it?”

“Well, you are glowing after all. But a good weird. It looks really pretty.”, she admitted, making him blush even more. “Can I touch you?”

Hesitatingly, he nodded and she saw that he was biting his lips. She reached out and let her fingers travel through his locks, watching as the dust was set free. Working through some minor knots, she noticed how he relaxed into her touch. It reminded her of the time when he fell asleep in the library and Ryan had petted him awake.

“Sometimes you remind me of a cat.”, she whispered and he gave a small purr as an answer, making her chuckle. But that was fine, she loved cats.

Scooting closer, she leaned forward as she let her hand travel. She barely brushed his lids, making him tense up again before she let a finger trace his lips. He swallowed and parted them slightly, letting her feel how fast his breathe was going.

Somehow to know that he was as nervous as she was made it easier.

So she simply closed the distance and kissed the corner of his mouth.

His lips were bruised and a bit scratchy but soft. Soft and warm, just like how it felt to be close to him and that made her smile.

“Sorry.”, she whispered against his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him properly. But this wasn't the right place and honestly; she was pretty sure he had stopped breathing all together. “I just wanted to do this for quite a while now. I hope this was alright with you.”

He didn't answer but his face was flushed bright red. Chuckling again, she scooted even closer until she could rest her head on his chest. Listening to his rapid heartbeat beneath her ear. It had her nearly lulled into sleep before he mumbled: “It's fine...”

 

When Ray woke up he actually felt refreshed. The daylight that fell in was pale and gray, indicating that it was very early in the morning but that also meant he had slept the whole night. It felt like he hadn't done that in weeks.

Turning his head he looked around but everyone else was still asleep and he decided to leave them like that. He rather cherished the time he had for himself for once.

It gave him time to think, not that he actually wanted that, there were a lot of new and scary thoughts in his head. A lot of new and scary things right behind his lids.

At least his headache was gone and his throat didn't burn like fire anymore. The weakness was still right beneath his skin and he knew that would never pass.

Sighing quietly, he noticed the pearl he had just mindlessly placed next to him yesterday. Interested he took it in his hand, feeling the smooth surface.

Holding it against the fresh daylight it was actually really pretty. Like fine, blueish green glass and selling it would probably bring a fortune. Now that the eye was gone it was clear, letting the light fall through and he briefly wondered if he was still watched by it. If someone or something could observe them thanks to that pearl.

Shivering he let it rest on his chest. Lindsay was right; it was creepy and he had enough nightmares in his head he had to deal with right now.

Taking another look around, he made sure everyone was still asleep before he pulled his sleeve up. Carefully his fingers traveled over the new lines decorating his left wrist. They were pitch black, just like staring into an abyss. He feared something would look back one day.

Maybe it already did, judging by the creature waiting behind his lids.

It felt like something liquid beneath a very thin layer of his skin and it sucked the energy right out of him. He could feel it, draining whatever he had to give.

He was beyond fear at this point.

Placing the pearl next to him again, he took a moment to collect himself before covering his arm and sitting up.

As quietly as possible he sneaked to Ryan, being extra careful to not wake Gavin who was curled into his side. But the counselor stirred with his first touch, opening his eyes and blinking a few times before looking around.

“Ray?”, he muttered finally as he rubbed his face. “We're really out, aren't we? This isn't a dream I am having, right?”

“We are really out and the portal is closed.”, the knight agreed quietly. “And if everything works out we should be somewhere remotely safe by the end of this day.”

“Hopefully.”, he sighed, checking on Gavin with a quick glance. Ray stopped him before he could reach for the king: “Ryan, I need you to promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“When it's true...”, he began but had to clear his throat, trying to keep his voice from wavering. “When we are safe tonight... can we have a talk? Please! Even if you have to wake me but I need to talk to you!”

The blue eyes were scanning him and didn't like what they found: “What is going on, Ray?”

“Later. Please, just promise me.”

“Are you sure?”

The knight nodded, biting on his own lips to keep his voice under control.

“Alright.”, Ryan finally agreed. “I promise.”

“Thank you.”, he whispered, feeling a big weight being lifted from his shoulder. Wiping his eyes, he took a few breaths to calm himself down: “You think we should get moving?”

The counselor didn't answer, he sat up carefully to not wake up Gavin before taking a hold of the others chin. Ray looked back into the concerned face and felt the sting in his eyes, his lips quivering. “Later.”, he pleaded, feeling his control slip.

Ryan nodded slowly before letting go: “Let's start waking them up.”

They ate what little food they had left before heading out into a land full of snow. Lindsay showed them the quickest way through the woods towards the camp, hiding behind trees to get an overlook.

“It weren't that many guards before.”, she explained quietly. “The reinforcement must have arrived.”

“Good for us.” Geoff crouched next to her: “With this weather they surely didn't march. There should be carriages around here somewhere.”

They found them on the other side of the camp and managed to steal two unnoticed, which was lucky considering that they were a lot slower thanks to the snow than they were before. But they still arrived in the next village in the early afternoon thanks to Jacks guidance and bought food and water for the journey.

When they were back on the road, Ryan finally allowed himself to relax. Even if it was only slightly because Rays words kept haunting his mind. He had been going over them for the past hours and the more he did, the more unsettling it appeared to him.

Looking up, the knight was already asleep in the seat opposite from him. The skin pale and the cape tightly wrapped around himself as he leaned against Michael. Still he was shivering and occasionally the warrior would rub the others arm absentmindedly. Michael himself was apparently gazing out of the window with a light blush on his face and Ryan was pretty sure it wasn't because of the cold. He had found both him and Lindsay cuddling in the morning and had been forced to wake them. That was probably for the best, seeing that it spared them any mocking from the others and he really wanted to be happy for them. But right now his thoughts were occupied with other things.

And he didn't seem to be the only one, considering that he once again found his king starring at Ray, a lost expression on his face.

That could be caused by many things; either the sick appearance of the knight that had him worried or the fundamental fact that Ray had brought him back to live. Ryan knew that they still hadn't talked about it and honestly they hadn't had the time yet. But it was a matter that stood between them.

Or what if Gavin had simply overheard what Ray had told him this morning? Maybe he hadn't been asleep and the thoughts keeping the king awake were the same as his own?

Ryan pondered about this for a while but even though he usually could read Gavin easily, this was not one of the times.

When they stopped because it was getting too dark to travel any further, Ray was still asleep like he had been for the most part. And even though Ryan waited until everyone else was resting as well before he gently shook him, the knight seemed to be tired and confused. But there was a glint in his eyes that he wasn't sure how to interpret at all.

“Outside.”, Ray whispered before opening the door quietly and jumped out. The counselor followed quickly and closed the door before looking back inside through the window. Michael stirred a bit, pulling his coat tighter around himself but none of the others woke up.

The knight lead them a bit further away but they stayed close because the forest was unfamiliar and the shadows between the trees huge.

“So what's this about?”, Ryan finally asked as they stood still and with a deep breath, Ray pulled up his sleeve. For a moment the counselor was confused before he made out the fine lines in the twilight, like black vines wrapping around the others wrist.

“Where did you get these?”, he asked slowly.

“After I brought Gavin back.”

“May I?”

Ray nodded as the other took a hold of his hand, tracing the strange texture with his fingertip. That made sense. “A demon mark. It is a sign that you enraged a demon. Probably your own after... what you made it do.”

“You really know everything.”, the knight remarked shaking. “Do you also know how to get rid of it?”

He shook his head in thoughts, not expecting the other to burst out into tears: “Please, Rye! Please, I want it to go away!”

Shocked, Ryan actually had to hold tight because the other tried to claw at his wrist: “Calm down!”

“No!”

He reached out and managed to catch his other arm, stopping him from trashing around: “Ray! It's just a mark! What is going on!”

“It's not just a mark!”, he yelled back before he noticed how loud he was being and took a deep breath. It came out trembling and tears still streamed down his face: “It's not just a mark, Ryan...”

The counselor looked back down to the dark lines and couldn't help but shiver slightly. “Alright. Please explain.”

The knight swallowed loudly before nodding: “W-when Gavin died... you see, I don't really remember what I did but I was in this place.” He stopped, fighting with the words: “It wasn't here or in the Nether or The End, I think it was... in my head? Maybe? I don’t know, I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, please continue.”

“Sure.”, nodding again. “There was someone, some _thing_ rather and it told me that I broke the rules and that I had to pay. I knew that! I was ready to do that if it just meant... if it just meant Gavin would be alright! I couldn't just watch, I couldn't just let him die! So I agreed without much thinking – to be honest I don't think I thought at all during... all of what happened.” He smiled bashful but was still shaking.

“What was the price, Ray?”, Ryan asked, noticing fresh tears in the others eyes.

“An exchange.”, he whispered. “If they couldn't have him, they wanted to have me.”

The counselor let out a breath: “Did you agree?”

He nodded. Of course he did. “They told me about that mark that would appear on my skin. That it would take my soul instead of Gavins when it was complete and I... I just said yes. I just wanted... I just wanted to save him, Rye...”

Biting his lip, Ryan pulled his hand closer and was barely able to make out the tiny gap between the main-line in the dim light.

“I thought it would take longer.”, Ray tried to explain. “I thought it would grant me a few more weeks, maybe a year but like this... like this I don't think I will make it home...”

The counselor looked him in the eye, searching for words that weren't there.

“I don't regret it.”, the knight made clear. “I don't regret it because I gave Gavin a second chance! I could be with him a little longer, we even managed to get out!” Now he was smiling. But it was dark and twisted and he was crying while doing so: “I just... I just don't want to die... I really want to stay a little longer and... if it would be possible, if you knew a way to... to get rid of it... that would just be great, you know? Please?”

“I-”, he began before closing his mouth again. Because no, he didn't know a way. He couldn't even imagine a way to get rid of this curse. And by the looks of it he didn't have the time to think of something.

“Rye?”, Ray asked quietly. “Please? Please help me..?”

“I don't know how.”, he finally admitted and had to watch the knight break right in front of him.

“Please!”, he begged, half choked by his sobs. “Please, I don't wanna die! I wanna stay with you! I don't wanna go back into the Nether! They will keep me this time, I know it! Please, Rye!”

“Ray...”, he whispered, feeling his own composure slip as the other stepped forward and buried his face in his chest. He held him tight, not even trying to shush him down because his own mind was racing, trying to find a solution. In the end he simply got to his knees to look into the others face, cupped his cheeks and assured him: “I will find something. Anything! I will go through every book until I find a solution!”

“I won't make it until home! I feel my life slip away, I only have a few da-”

“Of course you'll make it! You are so brave, Ray!” He wiped the still escaping tears away, hoping to reach past the panic: “You are the bravest person I have ever met in my entire life and I want you to believe in me! I will find something! Alright? Can you do that?”

“B-but-”  
“Ray! You've been through the Nether before, you've survived The End! Do you let yourself be stopped by some lines on your skin?”

The knight starred down at him for the longest time before he slowly shook his head.

“Good boy.”, Ryan praised, ruffling through the dark hair.

He hoped he was right.

God, he hoped he was right.

 

 

_I see you in my head and eye_   
_Your eyes are vacant_   
_And your mouth is bright_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that we are in the last part of the story - let's wish for the best!  
> The song is "Bright Mouths" by Electric President!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes fell on a king, struggling to get back on his feet and a loyal warrior who would still fight everything for him even though he was sitting on his chest now, trying to smother him in snow.  
> And he saw a knight finally laughing next to them, so devoted that he would protect his king against everything. Even death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys; we are nearing the big final! So now enjoy a chapter that finally broke my Beta - I never thought I'd see this day!

Chapter 15

 

  
_Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl_   
_Frozen in the headlights_   
_It seems I've made the final sacrifice_

 

They had stopped somewhere around noon in the middle of the forest because of some sort of argument between Geoff and Jack about where exactly they were and which route to take to get back home. Their voices still carried into the other carriage and Ryan had never heard the blacksmith get so loud before. It was a bit amusing.

Gavin had already jumped out, claiming that this would take longer. He was currently holding both of Michaels hands as the other was walking through the snow, unsure about the underground but eager to learn.

Ray was asleep. He had been shortly after they had come back to the carriage the night before, he had eaten little in the morning and had gone right back. It was a worrying sight, along with the intense shivering the counselor could feel against his side and no amount of coat could stop it.

His skin didn't feel cold though, just sweaty.

Now finally alone, Ryan carefully uncovered the mark, studying it closer with the better light he had. But the lines were the same, painting vines on pale canvas so near to completion. Under other circumstances it would be pretty.

Now it terrified him.

He noticed brown eyes following his every movement and covered the arm again: “Do you feel better?”

The knight shook his head, scooting closer to the older man in search for warmth.

“I see.”, Ryan muttered before sighing heavily. “Get up.”

The younger looked up to him confused before he was pulled on his feet: “What? No!”

“Come and get out, Ray.”

“I am tired! I wanna sleep!”

“You won't sleep all day!” Not if you have so few left. They both understood the unsaid and slowly the knight nodded: “Fine.”  
“Get back inside when you can't go on anymore. But I want you to try.”

“What if they notice?”, he whispered, a scared glance towards his two friends who were either preparing for a snowball fight or building a snowman.

“Do you really think they didn't already?”

“But what if they ask what's wrong?”

“That's for you to decide. You don't want them to know? Than figure out a lie.” The counselor pulled until the other jumped out of the carriage before giving him a pat on his shoulder: “Go to them. They seem to have a hard time organizing whatever they want to do.”

Ray was still hesitating for a moment before he nodded: “Fine.”

Watching attentively, Ryan observed how he stepped towards Gavin, more nervous than he had ever seen him around the king. But just as quick they were in their usual routine even though it was damaged. Before it would have been Michael who explained the rules but now he rather took the place of disturbing Gavin with everything he said, making the king pout.

Ryan gave them ten minutes until they were fighting but that was enough time for him. He turned around the corner to get to the other carriage, surprisingly finding it quiet. The doors were open to get in some fresh air and he saw Lindsay, obviously amused by the situation. She was wrapped in Jacks coat and her eyes were bright as she stiffed a chuckle before she saw him. It stopped immediately as she noticed whatever was displayed on his face.

Turning the corner he looked inside, finding both Jack and Geoff quietly fuming, a ripped map on the empty seat. On any other occasion he would also be entertained by that but right now he didn't care one bit: “Geoff, can I talk to you for a second?”

All three of them looked up surprised but the oldest just snorted: “Can't you see I am busy?”

“Busy with wasting our time. I know where we are going.”, Jack mumbled.

“You do not! Your route is way longer!”

“We still can't cross a river with a carriage!”

“Please, Geoff.”, Ryan said again and the light mood faded. Their eyes were all focused on him now and his knuckles turned white by how tight he was holding the door as he repeated: “Please.”

Lindsay turned away, looking at the first king who didn't move a muscle and angry Ryan huffed: “Fine. We can also do it right here. I want to know some things about your marks an-”  
“Didn't I already told you that this is none of your business?”, the other asked coldly, obviously not amused by the topic.

“Geo-”

“Get out of my sight, Vagabond.”

“Fuck!”, Ryan hissed, slamming his hand against the carriage enraged. “Get out of there!”

“What?”  
“Stand in front of me like a man if you want to talk down to me! That's apparently all you can do, so do it!”

For a moment Geoff frowned at him, debating what to do before he stood, jumping out into the snow. Turning towards the counselor, he waited relaxed but his stance gave away that he was looking for an attack. He hadn't expected Ryan to get to his knees and bow his head submissive.

“Please.”, he begged once again. “I need to know.”

It grew silent for a moment and he feared it wouldn't be enough. That Geoff would just walk away on him. He was ready to stay here until he returned.

Instead he got the soft voice he had heard only on rare opportunities: “What are your questions?”

He felt ready to cry in relief, his shoulder relaxing slightly: “Your marks... did you ever notice them changing?”

“Changing?”

“As if they were moving or extending – something like that. Anything!”

“No. No they never did.”

So they were a different kind of marks, he had already figured that much. Rays was caused by his breaking of the rules, Geoffs by his stubbornness.

“I'm sure... you searched for a way to get rid of them.”

“Of course I did.”

And Ryan felt his mouth grow dry as he stared down at his soaked legs. He didn't even feel the cold as he waited for an answer he probably already knew.

“I found nothing.”, Geoff explained quietly. “There were probably two or three books who even knew about the marks and believe me; I went through so many. Whenever I had the time; but there was nothing.”

“Nothing?”, the counselor asked carefully. Just to make sure. But as he looked up he already saw that he had heard right.

“No, nothing.”

“Not even a hint or a theory?”

“Ryan.” He quickly turned his attention towards Jack: “We searched a lot of books and asked a lot of people. We did everything we could have thought of but there was nothing. These marks are something that stays. A sign of a strong will and strong mind. It's not easy to obtain and probably impossible to lose again.”

Something must have shown on his face because otherwise Geoff would never say the next words: “I am sorry.”

Ryan stared at him before he nodded. He got back to his feet, his eyes towards the ground as he walked away: “Thank you.” If there was a reply he didn't hear it, his head was fuzzing. That couldn't be right, there had to be a way!

Someone giving everything for someone else shouldn't be cursed! He should be gifted!

A sign of a strong will and a strong mind?

It made sense, he thought now that he turned the corner, greeted by excited yelling and playful squeals. His eyes fell on a king, struggling to get back on his feet and a loyal warrior who would still fight everything for him even though he was sitting on his chest now, trying to smother him in snow.

And he saw a knight finally laughing next to them, so devoted that he would protect his king against everything. Even death.

A strong will and a strong mind indeed.

Ryan sat down on the steps of the carriage and buried his face in his hands, feeling entirely helpless. It was unfair. It wasn't right.

“ _I don't regret it.”_

Of course not.

“ _I don't regret it because I gave Gavin a second chance!”_

He cried silently. He couldn't even help it as he listened to their childish play. He had wished for that right here. He had wished for them playing in the snow and it had appeared like a distant dream. It wasn't anymore, it was reality.

But not like this.

Never like this.

 

They arrived at the castle nearly a week later and Ray was still alive. He was weak and slept for most of the days, he barely ate and was confused when he was conscious. So when Ryan woke him he looked around as if he wasn't sure any of it was real.

“I am still alive, right?”, he had asked quietly into his ear and Ryan had nodded. It was late at night and the room of the knight was warm and comfortable when he brought him there. The sight seemed to calm him or maybe he just wanted to think like that because Ray was asleep in minutes.

Ryan went back, meeting up with Gavin in the throne room. Listening to the report of Burnie who they had left in charge, getting a quick overview over the situation. At least that was the plan because if Ryan was honest he didn't listen. His thoughts were with Ray, wondering if he was alright, wondering if he would die all alone in his room. It poisoned his mind. There was something about endermen appearing less frequently since they left and people daring to hope, but it didn't matter.

Gavin was staring at him and when he noticed that, he also noticed that they were alone again. The green eyes were deep with questions and answers all swirling together and none leaving his lips.

“We have a lot of work to do in the morning.”, he finally said when the silence got uncomfortable. “I'll head to bed now.”

“Should I bring you to your room?”

“No.”, Gavin smiled tiredly. “Thanks though. Have a good night.”

“You too.” He watched the king head out, staying a moment longer in the familiar room to catch his thoughts. After making sure Gavin wasn't in the hallway anymore he followed him quietly before turning left, going down the stairs until he reached the library. It was late at night and nobody was there or at least he had thought so but when he opened the door he found a single candle standing on one of the tables. Jack was sitting there, looking up when he heard the other come in.

“Finally.”, he muttered as he stood, stretching his stiff limps. “Don't stay too long.” And with that he walked past Ryan who stayed behind too confused to react. When he finally closed the door he headed towards the desk with the candle, finding a single book there.

“Thank you, Jack.”, he muttered gratefully before sitting down, skipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for. The chapter about demon marks was short, barely over a page and it didn't teach him anything new. It contained even less than what he had learned in the first place and frustrated he read it again and again in hope he had missed something. After that he started from the very beginning of the book, flying over the pages for anything to grab his attention or was remotely helpful.

There was nothing.

Not even a single hint how to get rid of it, it barely explained how those marks came to be in the beginning!

And after he read the same passage the fourth time and still couldn't make out the sense behind the words, he decided to call it a day. Not that he wanted but he was smart enough to realize that he was too tired to work through the information. It would be worse to miss something.

So he took the book and headed out, ready to sleep for a bit before continuing his work. Thinking that maybe it was about time to inform Gavin about Rays condition, no matter how painful it was going to get. But he couldn't attend to both of them and it was only fair.

Gavin would be devastated, yes but it would be so much worse when Ray died and he figured it out afterwards.

The dark thoughts vanished in Ryans head when he found the knight in front of his room, curled up and tightly wrapped in his cloak. His face was pale and there were messy spots of blood on the door as if he had banged on it in panic before settling down to sleep.

“Ray?”, Ryan called softly, a white noise in his head as the book fell from his grasp. It grew worse when he didn't get an answer and with quick steps he was with the knight, taking a hold of the ashen face: “Ray!”

No reaction so he moved his thump over the others lips, finding them dry and ragged. None of that mattered when a swallow breath hit his skin and Ryan felt like crying: “Thank god...”

The thought that Ray had come to him in help only to find a closed door was painful enough. But the picture that he had curled up here, in the blind trust that he would come and find him later, too weak to search for him anymore was going to haunt him.

Brushing the cloak to the side, he found the others hands to be bloody and he tried to wipe it away, to get a clean look on the mark but whenever he did new blood started to ooze out of his wrist, the fragile lines having broken through skin, burning the vines into his flesh.

The softest of whimpers escaped the knight with the touch and Ryan scooped him up fast, fumbling for his key to open the door. Stumbling inside, he gently laid Ray on his bed, rushing to wrap him in his blankets, scared by the coldness the other was emitting.

“It moved...”, the knight breathed suddenly, nearly too faint to understand. “It hurts so much, Rye...”

“I know.”, he answered even though that wasn't true. He quickly got his washbasin, getting back to a softly crying Ray.

“I don't heal...”, he whimpered, his fingers pale as they curled weakly. “I thought I would die alone... I'm so scared, Rye...”

“You won't die.”, he hushed him down as he sat on the bed, kissing the sweaty forehead before gently taking his left hand. He needed to see the mark, he knew he had to.

“'s fine. I'm home and you're here.” The knight flinched when Ryan began to wipe his wound: “Just happy... just happy about that and you have to look after Gav and Michael for me, alright?”

“You can do it yourself!”

A weak chuckle was his answer: “I'm scared and it hurts... I still don't regret it, you know..?”

Desperately, Ryan tried to wipe the blood away but it seemed to only draw new and whatever he saw of the lines had turned an angry red now.

“Maybe Michael would like my rapier... make sure he trains a lot, he'll get sad otherwise an-”

“Ray!”

“Wanna give you this.”, the knight muttered on, his eyes closing as his free hand reached up, drawing lines over the brooch with his shaking fingers as he tried to loosen it. “Please... please keep it and please look after them...”

“Don't you say goodbye on me, Ray!” It was meant to be angry, to be a threat but it came out pleading. With uneven breath and blurry gaze he gave up and pulled the small body against his, petrified by the coldness.

The other just sighed contently: “After everything... still glad to have met you, I wouldn't change it if I could... sorry for giving you a hard time in the beginning, I was a fool.”

“Please...”, Ryan begged, resting their forehead together as he closed his eyes as well. That couldn’t happen! He had promised to find a cure! That was his Ray, that was the shy boy who had broke him open in the first place, allowing him to care! He couldn't just let him die!

“Really love you, Rye...” His head rolled against the broad chest of the other, listening absentmindedly to the ragged sobs: “I think I'll sleep now...”

“No!”

“Really tired... sorry.” And then he grew quiet and Ryan listened horrified to the swallow breaths growing weaker until he couldn't hear them anymore as they were drowning in his violent weeping. He held Ray closer, cursing the coldness he felt and cursing himself and cursing everything as he cried into the black hair.

He hadn't stopped it. He hadn't stopped it now and he hadn't stopped it before. Michael was blind and he hadn't protected him. Gavin had died and hadn't protected him. Ray had. Ray had fixed it, ready to pay for it with everything he had and had searched for his help, his guidance afterwards and he had failed yet again.

He had let this scared and weak boy cover all alone in front of his door in the middle of the night. Fearing his end but hoping that Ryan could fix it.

And he couldn't.

“I'm so sorry...”, he sobbed with a broken voice. In the end he hadn't even replied. He hadn't promised to watch over them, he hadn't told him it was alright, to rest calm, to not worry about anything anymore. Just sleep.

Most of all he hadn't even thanked him, he never had.

“Love you too.”, he whispered, hoping it would still reach when the dying breaths hit his skin as he held him as tight as he could. “I love you so very much, please forgive me...”

It seemed like hours passed as he cradled the body, crying his rotten soul out and wishing again that he could swap their places.

It seemed like everything he touched was meant to break and maybe he should just go. Maybe he should just leave before he made it even worse if that was even possible.

After a while he lost his voice, crying with rough wheezes that slowly turned silent as he run out of tears to shed. It took him until then that he realized he could still hear the others breathing, it took him so much longer until he allowed the hope to settle back in.

Shifting carefully, Rays head rolled to his shoulder and the counselor had to blink a lot to be able to focus on his face. Still pale but not ashen anymore. Hectic red spots on his cheeks and the lips slightly parted, sucking in breath after breath.

Whimpering confused, Ryan took a hold of the others hand. The bleeding had stopped and sniffing he sat up, reaching for the wet rag. Holding on tight, he cleaned the others wrist and revealing more and more of the mark, the lines black again. He came across a patch of skin that seemed sore but was free of vines and he hesitated before he carefully moved on. It was the same gap in the mark as before, just wider, faint white indicating where the lines had been before.

Sniffing lost, he couldn't bring himself to care. Kissing Rays cheek he could taste tears and sweat, wiping both away before doing the same at his own face.

He was alive.

He was breathing, his heart beat, pumping blood through veins and that was all that mattered. Scooping the exhausted body up, he pulled the blanket tightly around the knight, trying his best to warm him up.

In the end he must have fallen asleep because as he woke up, he made out Ray in the pale daylight, staring down at his hands like he couldn't believe what he saw.

“How are you feeling?”, Ryan asked after clearing his throat, startling the younger.

He turned towards him, a baffled look on his face and holding his palms up, still smeared red but that didn't seem to matter: “I'm alive.” It was a question and the counselor was quick to answer: “It appears so.”

“ _How?”_

“I honestly don't know.” He sat up and reached for the others hand, twisting it so that they could both look at the mark: “It didn't connect. It's vanishing.”

“Vanishing..?”, Ray muttered confused, letting a finger travel over the untainted skin. “I won't die?”

“No.” Maybe he shouldn't say that. This mark wasn't something good and just because it had done something that they didn't understand, it didn't make it any better. But he wanted to believe his own words so much.

“It really felt like dying.”

It had.

But then Ray was looking at him, the light he hadn't expected to see anymore sparkling in the brown eyes before he threw his hands around the others neck. Ryan grasped him tightly, feeling silent shivers going through the slender body but he was happy.

He was undeniably happy.

 

Ray washed himself clean of any red before scrubbing at the lines, hoping to get rid of the rest of them. It didn't work but he didn't fall in a complete panic anymore. It was vanishing after all, he saw the bigger gap between the vines even though he didn't get it.

For a moment he had considered that maybe he had understood it wrong, that he would die after the mark was gone but deep inside he knew that wasn't the case. He had been supposed to die this night but he hadn't.

Getting dressed into a new uniform he made sure his wrists were covered before meeting up with Ryan again. Both of them headed out towards the throne room, surprised to find the king already there, deep in thoughts as he looked out of the windows. They even had to call him before he noticed them, a surprised smile on his face: “You guys are early!”

“Same goes for you.”

“Told you we had a lot of work to do!” His eyes wandered to Ray and he grinned: “You look better than I have seen you in days. I'm glad!”

The knight blushed: “I think I was getting a bit sick... but now it seems to have calmed down...”

All three of them knew it was a lie and something like hurt crossed Gavins features: “You can take a day of if you do-”

“I am fine! Really Gav!”

“Alright.”, he passed them and they followed his waving coat out of the room. “We'll have breakfast in one of the conference halls. I have to discuss some changes with you both.”

 

It had been a subconscious decision because it had been his route every day for as long as he could remember, so why would his blindness stop him from getting his training?

It certainly wouldn't stop him from leaving the castle, he knew this place since his childhood! At least that was what he had believed as Michael stepped out of his room, walking through the familiar hallways that seemed to be longer and wider than they had been before. Passing whispers and some voices asking if he needed help. He didn't.

Even if he nearly fell down one of the stairs, even if he stumbled over a pot that surely hadn't been there before. It was a relief to be out and on the open field. From somewhere to his left he could smell food and that meant he would have the training field for himself as usual to figure out what was left of his skill.

His hand found the rough wood of the little shed that contained the equipment and he searched for the entrance when a voice interrupted his concentration: “More to the right.”

Startled he turned around, spitting out profanities as if it would help to calm down his frantic beating heart: “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry.”, Lindsay chuckled. “I also didn't expect to find you here.” Which might be a small lie.

“What are you even doing here?”

“Well Geoff and Jack are waiting for a meeting with the King.”, she explained before nudging him with a wooden sword. “So I kinda have free. Figured I could train a bit since I thought nobody would be here at this time of day.”

“I can go if you want to be alone.”, he muttered annoyed, trying to get a hold of whatever was giving him those jabs. Even though her small laughs were cute.

“No need to.”, she assured him. “Wouldn't miss a chance to watch the master.”

“Not much master left...”

“You are here after all. I think that means you are incredibly strong.”

He blushed a little at her words, unsure of what to reply and she seemed to sense that.

“Can I touch you?”, she asked quickly instead.

“You don't have to ask me that all the time.”  
“Who of us nearly pissed himself when I startled him before?”

Michael snorted, nervous when her fingers found his cheek. They were cold but they left warm spots wherever they lingered for a moment.

“Would you open your eyes?”

He grimaced at the thought, feeling sick in his stomach as he did what she had asked. It grew quiet but he heard her breathe as she watched him, her hand now cupping his face, fingertips playing with the strands she could reach.

“It's pretty disgusting, isn't it?”, he asked slowly.

“It's a shame.” Her thumb brushed against his lashes and his reflexes still told him to close his eyes. “You had such pretty eyes.”

The words felt heavy on his heart. It sounded like he had lost whatever appeal he might had. But that didn't explain why her breath suddenly hit his face and his mouth got dry with the closeness. Hair brushing against his chin as she kissed the corner of his lips again before pulling back.

“Why are you doing that?”, he asked breathless.

“Do what?”

“You know what!”

“Should I stop?”

“That's not what I meant!” He had said that too fast and now she was chuckling again but it sounded also nervous. Laying his face to the side in a questionable manner, he waited for her answer, surprised by her honesty.

“I like you.”, she explained with a small shrug. “I like you, Michael Jones.”

“I am blind.”, he said before the blush was even starting to bloom.

“I even liked you before that.”

“And now I am just a burden.”, he insisted. “I can understa-”

“Do you like me?” He fell silent instantly and let her continue: “I think you do. I also think you are shy but that's fine. That's cute actually, just like your hair! And your freckles!” Again she laughed: “I think that was the first thing I liked about you. Your freckles or your scars, one of the both. Then I saw you fight and it was... impressive to say the least and maybe... yeah, I guess that was attractive as well.” She blushed a little but it was nothing against his face: “But it's your heart I like the most. Your warmth, your strength, the way you care – I've met so many people that lacked those gifts! So you came in and I couldn't avert my eyes, it was such a fresh sight in that haunted place. I fell in love with your lion heart, Michael. It doesn't matter that you are blind because that is still there. I don't know how, I don't understand how you can be so strong but... it's there.” Her hand wandered to his chest, feeling it beating fast against his rips: “Is that weird?”

The warrior nodded slowly and she grinned: “A good weird?”

“A good weird.”, he affirmed embarrassed. His hand twitched and he cleared his throat before asking: “Can I touch you?”

“Sure.”

His fingers found her hair and it was as soft as he remembered it. Red, he told himself. It was red and it was such a pretty color for her. Brushing the strand gently behind her ear before finding her cheekbones, feeling her lashes flutter shut as he neared them.

Green, he reminded himself. A brighter green than Gavins, sparkling with smiles and kindness. He hoped he wouldn't forget that over the passing of time. Forget how beautiful she was on the outside. He wouldn't forget that she was so much more on the inside, he was sure of that. He just wished he could put it into words like she had but he had never been good with that.

His fingers found her lips, settling on both edges and finding them smiling nervously. Breathing heavily, he asked: “Would you mind if I kissed you?”

No answer, just a shaking of her head and he was glad that he could feel it, the hair tickling against his arms. Carefully, oh so carefully he stepped closer, not really wanting to step on her feet. Her warmth increased and he could smell soap and fresh mint coming from her and he hoped to god he wouldn't mess it up and miss.

He didn't. Her lips were soft and parted slightly when he met them, gently moving with his. There was a heat creeping in her cheeks, he felt it beneath his palms and it was a strong contrast to the cold hands that laid on his chest, tugging him closer shyly. It relaxed him a bit to realize she was nervous as well. Nervous for kissing _him_ , how insane did that sound like? The thought alone let his heart swell happily as he pulled back slowly, giggling stupidly.

He wished he could see her face right now but he tried not to think about that too much because he could feel her shaking so close to him. He took in her breath, tasting gentle and nervous and familiar as it reached his lungs.

It was such an intimate gesture that he didn't know what to do about it, his nerves getting the better of him. That was until she leaned forwards again, pecking him on the lips once, then again before their noses bumped and she laughed.

He grinned sheepishly as her arms wrapped around his neck, his own slipping to her waist and she pulled him closer until she was able to rest their foreheads together.

“I believe you wanted to show me how you trained.”, she chuckled after a moment and he groaned. “Really? _Now?_ ”

“Yeah!”

 

“You're alright?”

“I am. Stop worrying so much.”, Ray said for the fifth time that day but it held no ill-intent. It was true after all, he was alright. Tired already, yes but that was nothing against the past days where he had mostly slept. And so he returned the bright smile Gavin shot him whenever he got that answer. It was a bit laced with darkness because the king had asked him to have a talk afterwards. A needed talk, something they _had_ to do.

Ray had refused kindly. He didn't know what to say to that matter anyway.

“You think they waited long enough?”, Ryan asked, pointing towards the door. They were back in the throne room, the morning spent with planning and discussions.

“No.”, Gavin replied playfully. “But ask them in, I don't want to get nervous. The sooner we get this over with, the better.”

His counselor nodded, opening the doors to lead both Geoff and Jack inside before taking his place to Gavins left.

“You asked for us, my liege?”, the blacksmith began as they bowed slightly. Gavin took this as a good sign: “I wanted to thank you for your help in Werringtal. We wouldn't be here if it wouldn't be for you.”

“We did it for the kingdom.”, Geoff said and the king was quick to stifle his sad sigh. “Whatever your motive was – I am willing to offer you something.” A quick look to Ryan who nodded slightly, before he continued: “I am willing to give you access to my army. Take whatever you think is necessary.”

Jack looked up, his eyes attentive and curious, while Geoffs face was priceless: “You do what?”

“Was it too hard for you to understand?”, Ryan asked and Gavin grinned at the dirty look he was getting. Clearing his throat, he got serious again: “I want you two back in Werringtal. I want you to find Venyor and kill him. He was the third in the line of the throne and should be in control right now.”

“You want to conquer Werringtal?”, Jack asked slowly.

“They are weak, they are in a state of chaos, it shouldn't be hard.” Gavin smiled: “Also I warned them. It's their own fault.”

“Gavin, listen.”, Geoff stepped forward. “You are not ready to lead two kingdoms. I don't say this to mock you, I say this as” _Your father._ “the previous King. That's too big for you.”

“He won't be the one ruling.”, Jack mumbled. It made the king chuckle because as always Jack was right: “Exactly. I will give both of you control over Werringtal. Under my command of course.”

Geoff frowned visibly at that which left the blacksmith to talk again: “What are the exact conditions?”

“The most important ones are that Gavin will know about everything that goes on.”, Ryan explained. “We want weekly reports of your actions and we will sent out people to control it. Similar to what you made Lindsay do. Also the moment you have the castle in your control you will sent us the seeds of a certain plant along with the soldier we gave you.”

“Wait a second.”, Geoff interrupted them, shaking his head in disbelieve. “You will give us an army and the control of a country? After... everything?”

“I doesn't mean I trust you.”, Gavin said quickly, his voice cold. “I trust that you won't harm this kingdom. I trust that you won't attack this country because you love it so much. But most of all I trust Jack.” His eyes wandered to the blacksmith, getting warmer instantly: “I trust Jack.”

They shared a small smile before Geoff cleared his throat: “We have to think about that.”

“The offer stands for two days.”

“Think about it, Ramsey.”, Ryan chuckled darkly. “This is the closest you will ever get to being King again.”

“Shut your mouth, Vagabond.”

The counselor couldn't help but grin as he watched them walk out, finding Gavins eyes on him instantly: “Don't worry. They'll accept.”

 

They did and Ryan was more than happy to watch them leave. Geoff mentioned a single condition, one that both he and Gavin had expected because it was the same one as before; if Gavin threatened the kingdom he would get taken out.

They had agreed.

And now Ryan was back in the throne room a week after the army left the castle, talking sternly with Michael: “You want to supervise Geoff?”

The warrior nodded quickly: “I am of no use on the battlefield in this condition and I want to help!”

“It's a tough job. A lot of traveling, you'll never be more than a few weeks in one place.”

“I am aware, Ryan.”

“Are you doing this because of Lindsay?”

The younger blushed slightly. Lindsay would do the same as him then, only for Geoff. Checking on Gavin and getting the reports to Werringtal. They could travel together: “Not entirely.”

Turning towards the throne, Ryan asked: “What do you think?”

Gavin looked a bit lost, observing the warrior out of worried eyes: “Are you sure about that, Michael?”

“You need someone over there you can trust.”

“I do trust you.”

“See.”, he grinned. “I also know Geoff and Jack – they won't lie to me again. I can do this, Gav!”

“I know you can...”, the king muttered, looking up when Ray next to him shifted restless. “Excuse me.”, the knight whispered, one hand over his mouth as he walked towards the doors.

Frowning, Michael stood from his chair: “Don't be like that, Ray! I'm not gone forever, so don't pull that bullshit on m-” He stopped talking by the soft thump as the knight hit the ground, his coat gently covering his back a second later.

The crash when Ryan jumped to his feet, pushing his chair away was way louder.

“Ray!”

The younger gasped an answer, winding on the floor as he held his wrist. There was blood gushing through his fingers as he curled around it in a weak attempt to cover what was happening. It worked until the counselor grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up: “Let me see!”

“No!”, Ray yelled back, fighting to slip out from the grip. It didn't work. Ryan held him tight, ripping his hand from his arm to get a clear look on the mark and quickly the knight closed his eyes. Not that he hadn't already seen Michaels confused and scared expression as he slowly walked closer and he had also seen the terrified, pale face of his king and he wanted to die. He wanted to die right here and now and escape their stares.

But he wouldn't. It wasn't like the last time: he felt the burning already fading, taking most of his energy with him and leaving him desperate for air and sleep.

“What is going on?”, Michael asked with a shaking voice and with some hesitation Ryan explained it. Ray didn't want to listen but he couldn't help but watch the horror spreading over the face of the warrior. It pained him. It pained him to see Michael like this so he looked for Gavin, finding him shocked and scared and crying.

Still there was a deep love beneath that and that was easier to see, because that was the reason he was going to go through this. This was why he didn't regret it.

Ryan pulled him closer and with heavy breaths he leaned against his shoulder, his heart still beating in panic but slowly calming down. Just that it picked up right away because Gavin was pale and looked like he would become sick any second and maybe Ryan wasn't paying attention to him as he carefully chose each cursed word but Ray did. Ray had his eyes locked tightly with him until they darted down, finding the blood on the kings hand.

“What did you do?”, the knight asked quietly, making Ryan stop talking. Gavin opened his mouth but closed it again, shaking his head slightly.

“What did you do!”, Ray demanded now, fighting against the grip and succeeding. Standing on shaking legs and not listening to the words that were directed at him, just staring at that one person.

“What have you done, Gavin!”

“Ray...” He actually stepped back as the knight neared him, fear clearly visible on his face.

“Gavin, you can't be that much of an idiot!”

“I- Ray, I c-”

“You fool!” He grab his scarf, pulling tightly as if he wanted to strangle him. For a moment he considered it, he couldn't remember being that mad at somebody before. Only that it wasn't anger. It was despair and betrayal and hopelessness and all of that was so much worse.

The king stepped back again, trying to get rid of the hands when his legs collided with the throne. He sat down hard, pulling Ray along and now the knight was kneeling in front of him, hot tears streaming down his face.

None of them spoke, they just stared at each other, bloody hands tainting the scarf as he begged in silence. And as he begged the green eyes pleaded. For understanding, for forgiveness, for help.

“Gavin.” That was Ryan and the king looked up to him. “Please show me your wrist.”

Swallowing loudly, he pulled his sleeve up, revealing another mark. Not vines but the same black lines, looking like cracks breaking open his skin. It wasn't even remotely as big as Rays, it didn't even cover the inside of his wrist.

Because it was exactly the part that was missing from the knight.

“I saw him make the deal.”, Gavin whispered, looking from one to the other. “I saw him agree to offer his life in exchange for mine and-” He stopped when the hands let go of his scarf, curling together in his lap as the knight cried against it.

“I couldn't...”, the king continued, his eyes also overflowing in fear. “I couldn't let Ray pay for me! He payed for my life... so now I am paying for his.”

Michael looked ready to snap at them, his face red with rage or grief, maybe both. Ryan simply seemed lost, his mouth opening and closing without a sound.

“I'm sorry...”, Gavin whimpered, brushing through Rays hair as he cried violently.

“Your price...”, Ryan finally managed to ask. “You couldn't have traded your life. By this point you had already lost it. What do you have to pay, Gavin?”

“I'll die when the mark is complete.”, he nearly said that in a calm voice. Calmer than any of them were. It were the next words that seemed to scare his very being: “And then I have to face The Truth.”

Ray wasn't even sure what it meant but it broke him. It broke something so deep inside him that he was sure he could never piece it back together, that it was lost forever. Because Gavin would still die. He hadn't saved anything, he had just prolonged his suffering.

And he tried to remember how to breath but it was erased by those thoughts but he still did it, only that every inhale was sharp and every exhale was a painful scream.

So he screamed. He screamed until his lungs dared to burst. He screamed until no word or touch could reach him anymore.

And in the end he screamed until he passed out.

 

 

_This is a gift, it comes with a price_   
_Who is the lamb and who is the knife?_   
_Midas is king and he holds me so tight_   
_And turns me to gold in the sunlight_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter remaining... and damn it's huge!  
> Song is "Rabbit Heart" by Florence and The Machine


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was such a painful tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. Freshly betad here is the last and huge chapter.  
> The song going with it is "Cosmic Love" by Florence and The Machine.

Chapter 16

 

 

_And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat_   
_I tried to find the sound_   
_But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,_   
_So darkness I became_

 

_ eight months later _

Ryan closed the door behind him and dismissed the guards in front of the throne room with a quick goodnight. Striving through the nearly empty hallways, he did take the longer route to pass by the roof, rolling his eyes at the figures he saw lying on their back.

“What are you guys doing?”, he asked as he stepped closer.

“Stargazing.”, Michael answered with a mischievous grin.

“Yeah?”, Ryan asked, raising his eyebrow at him. “Tell me, how are the stars tonight, Michael?”

“Pretty dull.”, he shrugged. “But you know Ray – he's hopeless with this romantic shit.”

“Oh, shut your mouth.”, the knight muttered, getting slapped by the other. That was probably one of the first skills the warrior had learned after falling blind.

“You have to head out tomorrow.”, he reminded Michael who sighed irritated.

“Ryan is going full big brother-mode again.”

“I am not!”

“I am old enough, Rye. Also I will just sit in a carriage all day, I can sleep then.”

“Wow, Lindsay will look forward to that trip with you.”

“We don't get bored with each othe-”

“Gross!”, Ray interrupted him fast, turning away from them.

“Well, now we know that Ray has a dirty mind.”

“I can't wait until you are gone for a month. It'll be like holidays!”

“But Ray! You love me!”, Michael gasped playfully and maybe a bit too loud. A faint mumbling reached his ears and he pulled a grimace: “Sorry, Gav. Didn't want to wake you.”

“I told you not to let me fall asleep.”, the king groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Hey Rye.”

“Hey. You should go to bed as well if you are tired.”

“Ryan is in big brother-mode again?”, Gavin asked, looking down to Michaels head which was resting on his stomach.

“Absolutely.”, the warrior agreed.

“I don't want him to get sick.”, the counselor tried to defend himself but that seemed to be a mistake.

“You heard that, Ray?”

“I sure did, Michael.”

“Really sounds like Gavin is his fucking favorite.”

“Kind of, yes.”, the knight turned on his stomach, throwing the older the best pout he could muster. “Is that true, Rye? You don't like us?”

The counselor rolled his eyes amused: “This will be the last time I'll allow this. Nothing good will ever come forth when you three are alone.”

“Rye, the roof is still warm from the sun, I won't get sick.”, Gavin explained with a chuckle. “Also I am absolutely his favorite!”

“No way!”

“Ryan! Tell us! Who is your favorite!”

“Lindsay.”, he replied instantly. “Without a doubt.”

“Same!”, Michael chirped, getting interrupted by the two other lads. “Gross!”

“Anyway. Ryan, you should join us!”

“I'm too old for this.”, he answered even though he was already laying down, placing his head on his arms. There were some quiet chuckles but silence followed them. It was a content silence, one they started to shared a lot.

Gavin had been right, the roof was still warm after the hot summer day, followed by a clear night. It had been beautiful weather for the past week so how could he not allow them a free day? The past months had been rough for all of them.

Michael dealing with his new life, learning how to be as independent as possible. He carried a cane with him now, a gift by Gavin and as ugly as sin. Apparently a payback for certain golden boots.

He was going to head out to Werringtal tomorrow. They had gotten a letter from Jack a few days ago, saying that the last protests died down and the headquarter of the rebels had been taken out.

They had found and killed Venyor quick but now Werringtal was finally theirs. Michael and Lindsay were going to get a first overlook before coming back right away. That wasn't necessary, the first plan had been to stay for two months but Michael had refused. Ryan could clearly recall the day the warrior had stood in front of his door requesting to come back sooner. Asking: “What if Gavin isn't there anymore when I return?”

The counselor turned his head. It was too warm for long sleeves and so the mark was clear on the kings wrist, pale skin illuminated by the soft moonlight. The cracks were covering half of it by now and it was slowly showing in the kings behavior. Sometimes he would have to rest after a stressful morning and headaches were starting to hunt him. All the effects that Ray had shown before. Now the knight was getting better.

It was such a painful tragedy.

It didn't seem realistic that Gavin would die in the next month but the mark didn't follow any logic. There was no clear passage of time when it moved forward. Sometimes it would be a week, on other times it was a whole month until it vanished from Rays skin to appear on Gavins.

He and Michael had thought long and hard over that. They had spent a lot of time together, trying to figure something out because it was a topic neither of the other two liked to talk about.

“I think it depends on their emotional state.”, Michael had said one night. Sad and angry because he couldn't read and help Ryan, so he simply sat with him. Giving him company. “The mark moved faster in the beginning when both of them were... _stressed_. It is slowly calming down.”

It could be true, even though stressed was the wrong word. The first two weeks had been awful.

Ryan hadn't believed there was a force in this world that could stand between Ray and Gavin. But they had found it in themselves.

Ray had screamed, he had shouted, he had called Gavin horrible, horrible things and Gavin had fought back. Had told him that he wasn't one to judge him after what he had done.

It had gone back and forth, with days full of silence and days full of yelling and days full of tears.

Once he had found them rolling on the floor, beating at the other with red faces and he couldn't do anything but stare as they cried for each other. It was Michael who had rushed to them, breaking them apart and screaming louder than any of them. It had helped somehow and with their slow acceptance of the situation the mark had also slowed down.

On one hand Ryan was happy for that but he also knew that it would pick up speed again when the end neared. He was ready to enjoy their little peace they had now.

“It's really pretty.”, Ray mumbled quietly and finally the counselor also took in the clear night. Not a single cloud hindering their sight to the deep blue above them, dusted in starlight.

“It is.”, he agreed.

“You know any constellations?”

“Let's see.” The blue eyes searched the night before he pointed upwards: “You guys see that really bright star?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Shut up, Michael.”

“That's the Polaris, right?”, Gavin asked, also reaching up and tracing a line between the next stars. “Which means... this should be the Ursa Minor?”

“I believe so. Didn't think you knew constellations.”

“Geoff taught me when I was a child.”, he explained briefly. “But I only remember that the Polaris is the end of the handle of Ursa Minor. And I guess... that's Ursa Major over there?”

Ryan followed the line the king drew and nodded: “Yeah. Ray, do you know any?”

“No but I know that the Polaris points north.”

“Exactly, you can use it for orientation. Michael?”

“Isn't there this old tale about an archer and a scorpion?”, the warrior hummed contently. “I think they are fighting in the sky.”

“I know those two.” Looking around, Ryan frowned a bit: “But I don't think we can see them from here. The castle is in the way.”

“Do they really look like an archer and a scorpion fighting? That sounds so cool!”

“Bullshit. Those are just fucking dots in the sky!”

“Jealous because you can't see it?”

“Yeah, mock the blind one. Fuck you too!”

Gavin chuckled before letting his arm fall back, draping it across the warriors chest. Since Michael had become blind he was enjoying touches way more and was instantly playing with his fingers: “Those are all I know.”

“Same.”

“Pretty sure there are hundreds more.”

“Ryan, you as a counselor should know them all!”

“Sorry.”

“I expect extended knowledge of astrology by tomorrow!”

They were flipped off.

 

“Where's Ray?”, Ryan asked as he stepped back into the throne room, finding only the king in it.

“At the gates. Michael isn't here to check on it so he headed over until noon.” Jumping up from his throne, he went through his papers before pulling one out: “I made a to-do-list! Mind going through it and see if I forgot something?”

“Sure.” Taking the sheet, he read it quickly before frowning and coming to a halt: “This is...”

“Things I have to take care of before I die.”, Gavin announced, bouncing on his heels. “I figured I get this started now that Werringtal is ours. Who knows how long I can go on like this, so I bett-” His words trailed off as he noticed the lost look of the other: “Rye?”

“Give me a warning next time, please?”, he asked quietly. “Sometimes I manage to forget.”

“Sorry.” Gavin was quick to offer his arm because by now he knew the habits of the older. Sure enough Ryan took it, observing the mark intensely. He would follow the cracks with his finger before rubbing at the pure skin that was left, making sure that the king hadn't covered it up somehow. In the end he sighed as he let go: “Still time.”

“Still time.”, Gavin assured him and even though these words had been something he had hold onto before, they became heavier. Because each time they said it more time had passed. 'Still time' was a pretty flexible phrase.

Sitting down, the counselor got back to the list and his face darkened the further he got: “You got some... pretty interesting points here.”

“Is it bad?”

“No, just... you put more thoughts into this than me. I guess that's only natural.”

“Got anything I should add?”

Going through the list again, he shook his head: “I don't think so but I'll tell you if I consider something.”

“Thanks! Can we start right away?”

“Sure.” Under any other circumstances he would be amused, even proud of his eagerness and his forethought. In some weird way he still was but it felt rotten. “Your first point is-”

“My successor.”

Their eyes met, winter and spring and no words were needed anymore. But as the silence dragged on, Gavin shrugged: “Neither Michael nor Ray will take the throne.”

“Michael isn't cut out for it but Ray could be a great King.”

“He doesn't want to be. We both know that.”

“What if I don't want either?”

“Then we will search for a fitting person.”, he said that as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

“I failed twice already.”

“It's different this time.”

“No way the people will trust me.”

“You are not the same anymore.”, Gavin promised. “It won't be the reign of The Mad King again. You changed, you are someone else now and your whole situation is different. Both Michael and Ray will be with you and help you. Do you doubt that?”  
“I don't want to be King.”, he simply whispered, lowering his gaze.

Standing up, Gavin walked the few steps separating them: “Why?” He waited but as he got no answer he got to his knees to look into his face: “Rye? I need a reason. You always have one.”

“Because I don't want you to die.”, he muttered and it sounded like a scolded child knowing it was wrong but refusing to apologize for it.

“Oh, Ryan.”, the king replied, his voice soft but fragile. “That is not an option and you know it. It was my day to die back then and I won't let Ray take that price.”

“I know.” The counselor watched the other rest his head in his lap and he began to comb through the unruly hair. Gavin didn't purr like Michael but he gave a content hum that quickly turned into the same old lullaby. Waiting until the melody died down, Ryan muttered: “I'll think about it.”

They both knew he had already done this long before this day and his answer was obvious at this point.

“Thanks, Rye.”

 

Leaving the small chamber, Ryan was a bit surprised to find Ray already waiting. He was sitting on the hard stone bench in the dim light but his eyes were on him as he rested his chin on the hilt of his rapier. Shutting the quiet whimpers out, the counselor closed the heavy iron door before sitting next to the other. Ray was obviously nervous, one of his legs jerking uncontrollably.

Point two of Gavins list: help Ray to control his demon.

It was needed more than anything, considering that Sichora only listened to the King and they couldn't have it running wild after he was gone. So Gavin had given him free hand to do whatever he felt was needed.

“You don't have to do this.”, Ryan reminded the knight for the fourth time. His methods were drastic and he had talked it through with the other over and over again. It still made him uneasy.

“No. I'm fine.”, Ray muttered. His hands betrayed him, starting to shake and luring a metallic sound from his weapon he clutched so tight. “Just promise me...”

“Whatever happens now won't leave this room.”, the counselor agreed like he had before. “I won't judge you and you won't judge me. This is between us and nobody else.”

“Stop me when I lose it.”

“I will. Forgive me for all of this.”

“It's fine.” The knight concentrated on his hands, willing them to stop their trembling. “Cruel and drastic but fine. I agreed, didn't I?” Standing up, he waited until the counselor was with him. Opening the door again, Ryan lead him inside noticing the small flinch when the other took in their environment.

The room wasn't big so the two torches on the walls were more than enough to illuminate the stonewall and the man standing in front of it. Restricted by shackles around his wrists and ankles, he was clothed in nothing more than a thin shirt and pants, shaking in the coldness.

The man started to whimper again as he saw the counselor, trying to hide his already bruised face but wasn't able to do so.

Ray swallowed dry but moved up to stay close with his friend, noticing the smell of unwashed skin getting stronger. Ryan barely batted an eyelash at the prisoner, his gaze trained on the knight: “Say a word and we stop.”

“You wanted to teach me.”, Ray just replied, surprised about his own voice. It sounded like he was getting a cold; rough and sore.

“Good. Your goal is to get information out of the subject. For that you have to keep it alive so you have to be in control at all times.”

Ray nodded fast, his eyes meeting the prisoners for a second before getting back to Ryan who was pointing at the man now like he was an object: “You learned to use your rapier to puncture the vital points of an enemy, mostly you go for the throat. It leads to a fast death and is effective but the rules change when you torture someo-” “Please! Please don't! I don't know a thing!”, the unfortunate man begged, his gaze directed at the knight. Ryan didn't seem to hear him: “You want to inflict pain but not death. So you will not go for the throat this time. Depending on the person, punches or kicks work but most are a lot tougher than that. Go for the limps next. Might not want to use your rapier on them but something heavy. Your legs are strong so a good aimed kick should also help to break the bones. This a-” He noticed that he was talking mostly to himself, Rays eyes on the prisoners, listening to the crying pleas.

“Ray!”, he put himself between them so that he could catch the others gaze, his hand finding the nape of the knights neck. “First rule; as long as the subject does not spill its secrets its words mean nothing! Until then it is just you and me in here! Understood?”

“You and me.”, the knight repeated before nodding, the reassuring grip grounding him. “Sorry, Ryan.”

“It's alright.” “Please! He is insane, he's the Mad King! Don't lis-” “You will only listen to my words.”

“I will. Please continue.” The hand didn't leave his skin but it was a welcome weight.

“As I was saying, breaking the bones of the arms and legs will not only cause pain that doesn't resolve to the subject dying but also lowers the risk of it fleeing. It's always a good start and mostly without any blood.” They shared a quick look and Ray nodded again: “Gotcha.”

“There are other points that cause massive amount of pain without much blood loss. A kick or a punch in the chest or the genitals. Even the belly or the guts are an option but can result in vomit so be careful.” His fingers found Rays hair, pulling gently: “If you ever get in a situation where it is inevitable to torture someone for information I want you to focus on those.”

“But not right now.”, the knight mumbled distantly. There was a darkness in his eyes and Ryan knew Sichora was listening as well.

“No.”, the counselor agreed. “I want you to draw blood. Head wounds bleed a lot but if you cause too much damage the subject will fall unconscious.”

“And then they can’t talk.”, Ray said over the fearful screaming in the room.

“Exactly. But I leave it up to you what you do. Use your rapier how you want, do what you think you need to do. Think you can do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”, Ryan gave him a last reassuring squeeze before letting him go. He tried to keep his guilt out of his next words: “Ray. This man took Gavin away from you. Find out where he is.”

They both knew that this was a lie, that Gavin was up in his room, taking a nap. They also both knew that this man right here was someone Ryan had chosen for this, a man who would deserve every blood he would spill. None of this knowledge stopped the dark from spilling in the knights eyes.

Turning towards the prisoner and drawing his rapier, he mindlessly listened to the screaming: “The King? I don't know where the King is! I never even met hi-” He yelped and the words tumbled to a halt when the blade drew the first shallow lines over his chest.

Ryan stepped back, waiting near the door as he watched attentively. Ready to stop the other whenever he felt they were crossing the blurred line he had drawn. He wasn't even sure if he could without hurting the knight but they had talked about that as well.

“I can heal.”, Ray had assured him and with that the topic was closed.

Now Ryan simply watched the other straighten his shoulders as he paced in front of the bound man like a predator, thinking about his next strike. It was obvious that he was nervous but it eased with each breath he took and each slice he added. Focusing on the torso just like he was told and not deep enough to be dangerous.

It was a strange thing to watch because Ray was usually quiet. Ryan recalled the times he had seen the knight in a fight and he was collected and concentrated, quite the opposite of Michael who would yell with each powerful hit. Now, after only a few minutes he howled at the prisoner, his agitated voice bouncing against the naked walls as he screamed for Gavin, turning the begging quickly to random locations. The man was shivering in fear, not able to move to avoid any of the hits and kicks he was receiving as he spilled every place he seemed to know. It were lies because he couldn't know the truth, so Ray continued painting the dull room in his own favor.

Only when Ryan heard the throaty chuckle coming from him, he shifted a bit closer. He was glad he did it because now the eyes of the prisoners widened, searching for him all the sudden. As if he realized that Ryans madness was something he could understand, something that was calculated while before him was just wildness, ready to lash at him at any given moment.

And Ray seemed to enjoy it, laughing freely as his blade dug deeper to reveal more of the blood he loved so much. It splashed with a wet sound to the ground and reached the ceiling as the knight hurled his weapon, both sensations nearly drowned by gurgled screaming.

“Don't kill him.”, Ryan reminded him quietly and the figure in front of him stopped dead. A growl shook the body and with a frown the counselor stepped up, deciding to break them apart. “Ray, stop right no-”

He never got this far before the rapier was dropped as he was slammed against the same wall he had just leaned against, his arms pinned down by a strong grip as he was face to face with dark eyes. They vanished in the next second when the knight went for his neck but he didn't dare to follow them as his own eyes stared wide and unseeing into the distance, too shocked by the sudden closeness of another body pressed against his.

Solid teeth were skipping over his throat before disappearing altogether, leaving his heartbeat to pick up speed. He felt velvet lips against his vein with each pulse running through his body while soft pants hit his skin.

Ray didn't move.

His canines so close to rip away bothersome flesh and dig down to the real treat. It was the shivering from the other body and the shortness of breath that made him hesitate the critical moment before he took in the scent. It reminded him of warm and sweet beverages that Ryan had given him in the winter as they settled in front of a fire to get some work done. Of told stories in the throne room when it was quiet.

Now the scent was spiced with shock and fear and he quickly nuzzled against his neck, his growls turning to soft coos in hope to ease the distress. It was working slowly, the arms of the counselor twitching and Ray quickly eased his bruising grip to allow them to wrap tightly around him. It lured him in, relaxing his tense muscles and the white noise in his head. As he hesitatingly came down from his high, he realized what he had done and he placed his hands on the others chest while making apologizing noises, pleading for forgiveness. Immediately there was a hand in his hair, petting him gently and with a content sigh he simply rested there until the other asked: “Better now?”

“Sorry, Rye.”

“Wait outside while I finish this up.”

He didn't. Ray let himself be moved to the side but stayed to watch the counselor draw his sword and taking his sweet time. The prisoner was barely conscious at this point, the stress, pain and blood loss taking its toll but he still managed to whimper. He even yelped when Ryan took hold of his hair, not unlikely had had done with Rays just a moment ago and crashed the others head against the wall. A disgusting crack was heard before the sword ripped open the throat with a methodical movement.

Ray could feel another pang of hunger in his guts as he watched the remaining red spill in delightful waves on the dreary ground. He didn't even notice him staring until soft hands curled around his chin and turned his face to look at Ryan: “You did good.”

The knight hummed lovingly, shivers running down his spine at the exciting joy he felt when realizing that they had just killed together. They had ended someones life with their own hands and he cooed in bliss, wanting nothing more than to do it again and again. To learn eagerly, to be so good for this man, so that he could protect just as well. He leaned against the touch, taking in soft breaths that smelled of rich red and lost hope and bonding and it made his head swirl with confusion and excitement.

Ryan noticed the absence of his friend: “Let's get you out of here.” He tugged slightly until the knight followed as he lead him out of the room. The smaller form right next to him was still trembling with adrenaline as he sat both of them down, allowing Ray to curl into him, waiting until his scent calmed him down.

He lured him back with small touches and gentle words until brown eyes looked up at him, dazed as if he had just woken up.

“Get yourself cleaned and then we check on Gavin. Sounds good?”, Ryan muttered and Ray nodded quickly.

 

“You get careless when you are excited.”, Lindsay reminded him after the cane hit her legs for the third time as they walked through the familiar hallways.

“Sorry.”, Michael replied but it wasn't honest. He just wanted to move as quickly as possible.

“They'll be fine.” She let herself fall back a little to be next to him and avoid the searching cane: “And Gavin will still be there, you know we would know it by now if something happened.”

It was a waste of breath to try and calm him down because he wouldn't believe her before talking to the king and making sure he was alright. Amused, she stopped him as they neared the throne room, kissing the fear away before giving him a small peck on the nose: “We've only been gone for a month. I know you don't believe it but they manage to survive without you.”

“Your words, not mine! They are like dumb children!”

“Fine. But in this short time!”, chuckling, she took his hand before opening the door. Her heart sank for a second because the throne was empty but then Ray hugged both of them tight, a warm welcome and she knew it couldn't be bad when he was in this mood. Patting his back, she freed herself, leaving him and Michael to playful insults and stifled laughter.

“Had a safe trip?”, Ryan asked as he neared them.

“Yeah!”, she grinned and held up her bag. “And we even brought some really interesting gifts.”

“The seeds?”

“As many as we could get – and not only that! Some of that might interest you!”

“Where's Gav?”, Michael interrupted them, finally letting go of the knight.

“Resting.”, Ryan explained, not bothering to keep the worry out of his face. “Want to wake him up? Otherwise he will wake up in the middle of the night again.”

The warrior turned to Lindsay who quickly nodded: “I'll take it from here. You go and wake your princess.”

“You're the best!” With a quick kiss to her cheek, he vanished and she waited until she couldn't hear the familiar clank of his cane anymore before asking: “What happened?”

“The mark moved two days ago.”, Ryan explained quietly. “Gavin is still pretty worn out by it.” Ray next to them shifted before getting back to his chair, not wanting to hear any of it.

“How bad is it?”

“He was in quite some pain.”, the counselor continued with a heavy sigh. “It seems to get worse each time but when he wakes up he's alright for the next hours. It's just...” With a helpless gesture he shrugged: “It's nearly been a week since he managed to stay awake through a full day. He gets exhausted quickly.”

“I see.”, she stammered, worry also gripping at her heart. It was just a taste of what the next months would feel like.

“So, what did you bring with you?”, Ryan asked quickly to cheer her up and she managed a mischievous smirk: “Well firstly...”

She revealed a small chest and after opening it, he saw the very same pearls that had locked the End Portal: “Like Gavin had asked. One for every one of us.”

“Each of us takes one and hides it. It's the safest way.”

“Exactly. And as a little extra.” Pulling out a small book, she held it towards him: “Ingrars diary.”

 

Michael stopped briefly to talk with the guards, checking if everything was alright at the gates and how the training was going. He missed the old days where he spent several hours with the other warriors but now he had too much other things on his mind. At least most of the pity had vanished from their voices and he entered the room with a lighter mood. He was greeted by soft breaths and he carefully stepped closer, waiting until his cane hit the bed and hoped the wooden sound wasn't enough to wake the king. It didn't seem to be because his hands still found his sleeping form and with a grin he pounced at him: “Boy!”

Gavin shot up, grunting surprised: “Boy!” Michael was flipped, feeling cold hands on his chest and tried to not show his worry. “You are back!”

“Just came in! Even brought flowers! Well, they will be flowers eventually!” Smirking, he rolled them around again and it started a playful fight for dominance. In the end they fell from the bed with surprised yelps that ended in immature giggles. The warrior was ready to continue but Gavin was already panting slightly and he couldn't help but frown at that. It was noticed instantly: “I am fine.”

“Show me!”, the warrior demanded, taking a hold on his hand. He couldn't see the mark but feel it; it was a different texture than the skin around. It was smooth like glass or water beneath a thin layer. When he had left it had covered the inner side of the wrist but now it was showing on the outside as well.

Over half of the time was up.

It was a heavy weight on his heart to know that.

“Let's head to the throne room.”, Gavin offered. “I already slept too long!”

 

“King Ramsey actually wrote a letter to ask to visit my country.”, Lindsay quoted from the diary. “It's easier to lure them here than to steal from a child. He doesn't seem to be much of a challenge.”

Amused she looked up to a pouting Gavin before continuing: “Claudia is already looking forward to meet him. She is such a good and determined child. I am sure she will be a strong Queen one day. There is no way that he won't be wrapped around her finger in no time at all.”

Ray snorted at that and dug under the dirty look he was receiving.

“Don't laugh at him.”, Lindsay told him. “You didn't get away any better.”

“What did he write about me?”

Turning the pages, the guardian searched for a moment before reading: “William says we shouldn't worry about King Ramseys knight. He is too small and slender to have any strength in his thin arms. The only thing he could be good in would be his speed but William assured me that a single hit should be enough to knock him out.”

Michael and Gavin started to laugh at the offended huff of their friend: “I am not small!”

It set them off even more and even Ryan fell in, getting a betrayed look from the knight.

 

“I am surprised that the masquerade worked.”, Ryan read loud while Gavin climbed into bed. “It's a really old tradition, made to scare away demons and I guess there was more truth in that then I had imagined.” The counselor shivered slightly: “I don't like the thought of that.”

“Yeah, I read it before. Ingrar actually sent his own men to attack us that day, willing to sacrifice them to test us.”, Gavin explained, rubbing his temples. “His plan was to hurt us at the ball so that it would be easier to get us all to the portal.”

“And when he didn't succeed he allowed Claudia to try.”, the other mumbled, frowning darkly. “Headache?”

“A bit.” Letting his hands sink, he took a good look at the mark, tracing the cracks in his skin. He was so darkly fascinated with it that he barely noticed when Ryan fluffed his blanket before putting it over his legs but Gavin looked up when his pillow was stolen and getting the same treatment.

Grinning, the king asked: “Can I also have a glass of water?”

“Sure.”, the counselor agreed absentmindedly.

“Will you also read me a story, Rye?”

“If you wa-” He stopped midway.

“Are you bringing me to bed?”, Gavin asked teasingly. “Will you read to me and stay with me until I fall asleep and kiss my forehead before you leave?” He got hit with the pillow instead: “Fuck you.”

“But Rye!”, he laughed loud, covering to avoid the second hit. “It's cute, really!”

“Get to bed!”

“You are blushing!” Giggling, the king let him be, reaching for the diary while the other huffed annoyed. By now he had only quickly read through the most important dates but he wanted to know every detail that had been luring in the dead mans brain.

“You should sleep instead.” His water was placed next to the bed before Ryan sat on its edge.

“I am not tired yet.” He would be soon though, by now he slowly got familiar with his new and scary rhythm. He was living like an old man.

“How about we have a talk instead?”, Ryan asked before taking the book from the others hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Right now?”

“You know what I mean.”

Sighing, Gavin leaned against the fluffed pillow: “Exhausted usually. You know when you start to get _really_ sick and you feel it because you can't concentrate on anything and your head hurts and you don't want to eat and just want to curl up in bed and stay there? And you just wait because you know it will get worse? That's how I feel.”

“If you need a break, me-”

“I don't want a break!”, he said quickly. “I fear... if I take a break to just rest for a whole day... it will happen again and again! And I don't want to spent the rest of my time...” He stopped, his eyes distant. To spent the rest of his time in a room, locked up. That had happened before, right?

“Gavin...”, his counselor continued without noticing the deep thoughts of the other. “You said that your price would be The Truth but you never explained what that meant.”

“I remembered, you know?”

“The lullaby?”, Ryan asked carefully, not sure if Gavin was answering or changing the topic.

“That too but everything. Or at least most of it. It was so long ago.” He got a bit lost in his memories: “I had two little sisters, they were twins but I can't recall their names. But they had my mothers eyes and yet I don't know which color that was. I loved them very much.”

And finally the counselor understood: “You remember your life before the Nether?”

“Yeah. Bits and pieces.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“I am human.”, Gavin smiled sadly. “Geoff was wrong. I was born human and I came back from the Nether as a human. I just contracted a demon – I am human.”

“Did you-”  
“No. It doesn't change a thing for me when I tell him. At least it shouldn't. He threw me away and I don't want to hold out my hand to him.”

“I was never more proud of you than right now.”

Catching the blue eyes, the king reached out and let their fingers intertwine: “I just can't hate him and I always think that I am weak because of that.”

“That's not true at all.”

“But he hates me!”

“That's also a lie.”

“How can I believe that after everything?”, he pleaded.

“Because I am sure you two think alike. He is also not able to hate you.” His thump drew comforting circles on the back of the others hand: “I rather want to know about your past.”

“How I died?”

“No. Nice things. Let's talk about nice things tonight.”

“I'd like that.”

 

Ryan liked to pretend that he did notice something was off but that would have been a lie. They had talked briefly about Gavins speech and he had felt that the king was not as enthusiastic as usually to speak to his people but that was merely because he lacked the energy even after a good night rest.

It fell from him when he was standing on the balcony and began to talk, telling his folk that Werringtal was finally theirs and they cheered. They cheered even more when he talked about the flowers, spreading his arms as he assured them that the seeds had been planted and that next year they were going to be safe from endermen. That the kingdom would be drowning in Repeants.

It wasn't that much of a topic anymore though since the attacks had gone down drastically after the portal was closed safely. Ryan was pretty sure it was also thanks to the marks – if Rays and Gavins had the same effects as Geoffs that should be strong enough to keep them safe until the flowers would bloom.

“Hail the King!”, Ray yelled from the other side and surprised the counselor gave him a confused look. Gavin wasn't done; there were still some points left but there he was in their middle, giving a small wave before turning away, getting quickly out of sight.

He collapsed while they chanted: “Long live the King! All hail King Ramsey!”

Still the sound when his head crashed on the floor was loud up here, a sickening noise when the crown rolled away making Michael flinch in the back of the room.

“Long live King Ramsey!”

Oh, what a joke.

Ray was next to him already, turning him to his back and Ryan came closer, shocked by the paleness of the king.

“Did it move? That fast?”, he asked before kneeling down.

“Wha-? No!” Ray gave him an angry look: “He gave the sign!”

Two fast taps onto the inside of his wrist when he couldn't go on. It had been Ryans own idea.

“I didn't notice...”, he muttered in horror.

“He did it three times!”

“I-” “Enough!”, Michael shouted as he crouched down next to them, trained hands finding Gavins face quickly. “He's ice cold. Close those damn doors, if I hear those people say it one more time I'll go insane!”

Hesitatingly, Ryan listened but it wasn't enough to shut them out. Not by far. It lingered between his thoughts.

Long live the King.

The warrior was already back on his feet, hurrying through the room with large steps until he found the door: “Linds?”

She was with them instantly, her face dark as she felt for a pulse before turning to Ryan: “Get him to bed. Try to wake him. Ray?”

The knight stopped to give angry glances to Ryan in favor to listen.

“Get to the kitchen. Let them prepare a soup or hot chocolate. Anything to warm him. We have to get his circulation going. Now!”

They scattered and Ryan was quick to scoop the king up, walking fast through the hallways. Ignoring the shocked faces and the starting whispers from guards and maiden, knowing the rumors were already spreading.

Gavin wouldn't like that at all.

Entering the kings chamber he laid him on his bed, tugging him in as tightly as possible.

“ _Are you bringing me to bed?”_

“Fuck.”, he whispered suppressed before rubbing his face. He had screwed up. Badly.

Looking up when the door opened, his heart only sank further: “Ray...”

“Get away from him!”

“I'm so sorry, I sh-”

“Get out!”, the knight screamed, holding the door for him. “I don't want to see you right now or I'll do something stupid! It's your fucking job to look after him!”

“I kno-”

“Get lost!”

He did. Ray didn't look at him as he walked out, his hand shaking on the doorknob to control his temper. Only when he tried to close the door and found it stuck, he turned around.

Lindsay sneaked in, going straight for the king: “Where's the soup?”

He didn't answer, just watched how she settled on the edge of the bed, quick fingers on Gavins face. She looked up again, her eyes cold: “I asked you a question! If you give me that bullshit I'll throw you out!”

And he noticed that he was growling at her with one hand on his rapier and shocked over himself he let go. Clearing his throat, he whispered: “They are preparing it right now.”

“Good. Please light the fire, we have to get him warm.” She watched him walk over to the fireplace before turning back around. The skin beneath her hand was dead cold and looked like pale wax ready to break with a wrong movement. She didn't understand how he could grow this cold so fast. Yes, a collapsing circulation was one reason but it was warm outside, it was still summer and he felt like he had laid in the snow for an hour. He felt like he was freezing to death.

Ray was lingering behind her, his lip caught between his teeth: “Is he dying?”

“No.”, she was quick to say. “He is just exhausted.”

“I shouldn't have screamed at Ryan.”

Watching him for a moment, she could see the conflict in his eyes, his nervous shifting: “Go then. I'll stay with Gavin.”

Now he stared at her shocked as if that idea alone should be punished, his gaze quickly darting between Gavin and her before turning into pained orbs. Realizing he had already failed to protect, that he had to let go at some point.

It was like some spark inside of him was smothered and he looked even smaller. Maybe that was the first time he really grasped that Gavin was dying.

“Ray?”

“Thank you.”, he simply muttered before turning around and heading out of the room. He sprinted through the hallways feeling terrified and free and like a traitor.

Maybe a bit amused that he knew exactly where to find them. He halted in front of the roof, seeing both of them sit there. Michael stopped talking, turning towards him as he debated who the steps belonged to, his whole body language protective. He was ready to snap at him.

“I saw Gavin do it!”, Ray simply said, getting louder with each word. “I saw him give the sign three times and I just didn't know what to do! I hoped you'd notice or that he'd stop so that I didn't have to deal with it! I am sorry! I am not mad at you, I am mad at myself!”

Now Ryan also turned towards him, ready to speak but the knight was faster: “But I have to get used to it! I have to face the truth! I- Gav... Gavin will die. Gavin will die!” His breath hitched and he closed his eyes to keep them from overflowing: “And I can't stop it. I never could. I was foolish and naive to believe that. So please forgive me. Please forgive me for my weakness. Both of you.” He was on his knees and he didn't know when that happened but it still didn't feel quite low enough. He should crawl: “This is all my fault! If I hadn't done this deal all this pain would have passed already. We would have mourned and we would have gone through it and now it is so much worse. I am sorry! I am so sorry! I just wanted to save a friend! I just... I just wanted to save Gavin...” His forehead touched the warm stones of the roof as he curled into himself, heaving through corrupted lungs: “Please... Just please help me! I just want to keep him safe and happy for as long as possible. But...” And those words felt like liquid pain in his throat, like coughing up blood: “I am not enough to do so. I can't do it. I am the wrong person. So please help me.”

 

Gavin was crestfallen when Lindsay ordered him to stay in bed. He discussed, he begged and when that didn't help he called for Ryan, hoping for his help. But after a quick checkup on him he agreed with her.

“Just for a few days until you are back on your feet.”, he tried to calm the king but he had never seen him look at him so betrayed. He listened though.

Laying down in dark silence, barely talking with whoever came to visit he waited until the shaking eased and his head stopped spinning.

After three days he was back on the throne, not allowing himself to stay away longer. Still he had to take breaks every few hours and still he had headaches, along with a never leaving feeling of sickness but he would endure it.

It worked for two weeks before he woke up in the night, screaming because his wrist felt like it was on fire and his bones broke and his joints ripped apart one by one. His pure hand wasn't sure if it wanted to cover his bleeding mark or keep his bursting head together when unfamiliar voices filled the room.

If it were demons or guards didn't matter as he turned around, nearly falling out of his bed as he threw up whatever he had in his stomach. Heaving, he let his head hang in shame, feeling the pain pulsing through his whole body as people talked and talked to him and he didn't want to hear! He wanted to curl up here and be alone and see no one!

He was freezing.

Arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling him back into bed to lay down and his head swam. It swam and floated away at the same time and that was really strange, wasn't it?

It hurt.

Someone covered his eyes, shutting all the chaos out and he was glad. He was so glad to be held to a warm body until nothing but a heartbeat filled his head as the blood stuck between his fingers.

“Call Haywood.”, Michael said clearly. “Tell him that the King isn't feeling well but make sure to say that I am already here.” Good, that way Ryan would look after Ray. “The rest of you leave us alone.”

“Yes, my Lord!”

Shifting and steps and closing doors and then only the heartbeat, an easy rhythm in his ear.

“You want to drink something?”

“Please.”, he whimpered, wanting nothing more than to get rid of the disgusting taste in his mouth. Fumbling around, Michael found the carafe but he still had to help his friend to actually drink from it because only one of his hands was working. The other was limp and in agony.

“Thank you.”, Gavin mumbled, not mentioning the amount of water that they had spilled. Whimpering slightly, he moved his arm and threw his head back at the jolt of pain. Breathing through clenched teeth, he touched his mark, trying to wipe away the blood but his own contact burned like fire.

“It moved?”, Michael asked after putting the carafe away.

“Yeah.” He leaned heavily against the warrior, exhausted and sleepy and in pain but most of all: “I am cold.”

He was oh so cold. The fire was burning, he was wrapped in blankets but he felt like there was nothing to warm him up in this world. Michael even shivered at the touch, wrapping his arms around him and he noticed that the other was just wearing a thin nightgown, fitting for the summer.

“You are.”, he mumbled. “Should I bring you something? A soup or-”

“Please nothing to eat. I don't think I will keep it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Michael shifted a bit before slipping under his sheets and pulling him close. A shiver went through both of them at the difference of their temperature: “Try to sleep for a bit.”

Nodding worn out, Gavin nearly drifted off instantly. The warrior was a bit glad for that. To be shaken awake in the middle of the night by guards, telling him that the King was hurt and bleeding and screaming had left him on edge. Because he knew what it meant.

He damn well knew what it meant.

Burying his face in the unruly hair, he sighed heavily. Nobody should be this cold. Gavin didn't feel human anymore like this. Like he was already dead.

It just made him hold him closer because that wasn't going to happen. Not on his watch.

But the kings breath was even now, a bit faster than usually but he was asleep and he needed every bit of energy he could get. It was shame that something thought differently because Gavin barely got any rest. He was shaking, jolting into a sitting position nearly every hour to throw up violently. Helplessly Michael could only rub his back and hold him when he finally settled down again. And seriously; by now there couldn't even be anything left in his stomach.

So he leaned his head against the shoulder blades of the other and listened to his weak weeping, knowing that Gavin was trying to hide it as his body shook and was wet with sweat and cold to the touch.

He couldn't get him to warm up.

 

After that Gavin was too weak to leave his room anymore. After a quick discussion with the others, Ryan visited him, not sure how to word it.

In the end it wasn't really necessary.

“I told you this would happen.”, Gavin muttered, not even looking at him. His eyes were focusing on his hands, the mark now clearly visible on his outer wrist. The cracks made it look like it would break apart one day.

“We'll make sure someone is with you all the time.” Ryan promised, knowing it would do nothing to erase the darkness of the situation.

“You mean you will babysit me.”, Gavin replied. “Checking if I eat and drink and at least try to keep it inside. Checking if I fell down at one point and can't get back up. Like a little child.” It was the same. Over and over again. The history repeated itself and The Truth was laughing at him.

He was always cold now.

“No, we want to keep you compan-”

“Ryan?”, he interrupted him instead. “Can I ask something from you as my mirror? Even if you don't like it?”

“Of course.”

Finally Gavin looked up, their eyes meeting for the first time since they were in the same room: “No matter what happens to me or how bad it will get; keep me alive. Keep me alive until the mark takes me or otherwise it may not count as a price. Even if you have to force me to eat or to drink, it's fine. I chose to pay and I will. Maybe... maybe later I will forget that.”

Ryan didn't answer, his face lost in misery and he had seen that coming. So Gavin got out of bed, standing on his weak legs before he carefully moved to kneel down. Instantly the counselor reached out to try to help him but the king simply took his hand into both of his and said the same words he had heard so, so long ago: “I trust you, my liege. My soul and my heart are in your palm and I couldn't think of a better place for both of them.” Kissing the fingers, he let his forehead rest against the knuckles, feeling them shake with emotion.

“Alright.”, Ryan finally said. It sounded rough and lost and beaten. “I promise.”

 

“You can think a bit longer about it.”, Gavin assured them, his hands folded in his lap. Lindsay sat on the edge of his bed, looking towards the warrior on the chair next to them: “What do you say?”

“I am not really a fan of being King again.”, Michael shrugged. “But if I haven't destroyed the kingdom in the months I have been, a few more weeks should be alright.”

“And I'll help as much as I can.”, Lindsay added quickly, squeezing the kings leg. “So don't worry about it at all and sent the letter. I am sure Geoff and Jack will agree.”

To see both of them one more time was one of Gavins wishes. Maybe it was unreasonable but he couldn't help it. The last time he had talked to them was the day they had headed out towards Werringtal. He had to meet them as soon as possible if he wanted to get the chance. But of course they couldn't just leave Werringtal unattended. So Michael and Lindsay would take over for the time being.

Should the other two agree.

“Thank you.”, the king smiled. “That really means a lot to me.”

“But you have to promise me one thing!”, Michael requested, holding his hand up, pinky outstretched. “No dying while I am away!”

Laughing, Gavin wrapped his own finger around his: “No dying while you are away – got it!”

Around half an hour later Ryan and Ray walked in to take over the babysitting for the next hours. At least they brought work and Gavin was happy about that.

It made him feel like he was at least a little involved in his kingdom again.

But they also brought breakfast and he stared at his plate, knowing the others were watching him. He was also watching them as they ate without much thinking while Ray settled in front of the fireplace and Ryan on the desk.

The king envied them. Eating was tiring just like everything else by this point. The bites would feel disgusting no matter what he ate and he had to wait with a burning pain if his stomach decided to keep it or not.

Still he ate as much as he could manage, knowing he needed the energy even if he took some time. Meanwhile he could watch Ray laying on his belly while reading, his legs kicking the air or listen to Ryans small reports about recent happenings.

Gavin wondered if all of them were true but he doubted it. One time he had asked what the people said about his lack of presence and Ryan had replied that it were just some rumors floating around.

He hadn't been able to look him in the eye though.

He fell asleep at some point during his meal and he hated it. He hated not being able to control it at all because he simply noticed that he was tired and the next second he was gone. And waking up got more and more disorientated even though he couldn't tell _why_. It wasn't like he had left this room that much anyway. Where else should he be?

“I want to go back to the roof.”, he said, surprised that he had voiced his yearning. “I want to watch the night sky again.”

Both of them were now staring at him, he was well aware.

Ryan was the first to speak: “It's too cold right now. We can't risk you getting a cold.”

“Maybe when it gets warmer.”, Ray offered and Gavin smiled.

“Sure!” In spring? He wouldn't be here anymore then.

 

Michael didn't pay attention to the others silence, he figured the king was just tired as he came over around noon. Having a small talk with the two others who were heading out towards the throne room, he sat down on the chair: “What are you doing?”

“Thinking about what to write in the letter for Geoff and Jack.”, Gavin said with a heavy sigh.

“You sound ready to sleep.”

“Just woke up when Ryan brought me the food.”

“Are you done with it?”

“Yeah.”

Feeling around, Michael found the bowl and went to bring it away when he frowned: “You didn't eat it.”

“How would you be able to tell?” It nearly sounded teasing.

“Because of the weight.”, Michael simply said, not ready to play along. He knew they had to be strict with him. “This still feels like it's full.”

“I am not hungry.”

“Gav, you know you ha-”

“I am not hungry!”, the king said fiercely “I am still full from my breakfast! I don't want to eat right now!”

“You agreed to the rules yourself.”, Michael reminded him even though it was with a heavy heart. He wanted to believe him, he really did but Gavin had already tried to use his blindness against him to get past the meal. It was just that he didn't expect the slap he received, strong enough to throw the bowl out of his grip.

In stunning silence he listened to the crash somewhere to his left and the heavy breathing coming from the king.

“I don't want to eat.”, he repeated tense.

“Gavi-”  
“Please leave!”

“Bu-”

“Leave, Michael! Please! Just-” The anger slipped from the kings voice, leaving it small and trembling: “Just give me a few minutes to _think_. To be for myself. Please! I am suffocating and right now I don't wanna eat and I don't wanna have company! Please leave me alone. I beg you! Just for a moment...” His breath hitched: “That's all I want. So, please!”

For the longest time the warrior didn’t move, his mind racing. They shouldn't leave him alone and still: “Alright.”

The sigh reaching his ears was more than enough payment: “I'll be outside though. Call me when you need me.”

“I will.”

He thought briefly to search for the bowl before he simply turned around and walked out. Closing the door gently, he slide down to rest on the floor. There were voices from the guards but they sounded distant, so he didn't sent them away. But they still saw him, he could tell by the hushed whispers. It didn't really matter to him. Blindness had taught him that the eye could be deceived easily. Also they still respected him, a living legend among them when he decided to visit the training grounds, bringing Mogar with him. It was a shame that his great sword was mostly in his room but after some refusal he had to admit that it wasn't the right weapon for him to carry around. The blade, hidden in his cane way more effective.

Still he didn't want to forgot how to use Mogar; taking pride in the fact that he was still the only one able to wield it and ready to prove it if needed. Like when the new recruits needed a rough reminder that his ears were sharper than they could imagine and he took offense in the mere idea that he got his status because of the friendship with the King. It barely took two strikes to shut them up, listening to the older warrior laugh at their foolishness, Lindsays own the loudest.

It was her technique. She had to use it in the beginning when some old fashioned men didn't believe she earned her armor. It was quick, Michael remembered the high yell of the man and the soft thump of a body hitting the sand. Back then he had been the one laughing the loudest, knowing better than to mess with her.  
By now she had won every match against him and he couldn't help but be sad that they had missed an opportunity to really test their strengths before he got blinded.

Michael smiled a bit at that. On the other hand he always smiled while thinking of Lindsay.

It fell when he heard the small crying in the other room and he let his head roll back to rest against the door. He wanted to take it away, to be able to help and protect but he was so weak in comparison to them. Fire and strength and healing – what did he have? Only himself.

A fact that would always stand between them. Mostly it didn't bother him, sometimes it did. Like right now. Maybe he could have changed something if he had died. If he had sold his soul.

Maybe it would have made everything better.

It probably would have made things worse. Those demons with their strengths and gifts had brought nothing but misery to their owners.

Sighing quietly, he listened to hitching breaths and muttered words he couldn't quite make out. If he concentrated enough the whines would mix with the storm outside, bringing coldness and falling leaves and rain.

It felt like an hour before Gavin called him softly. Getting up, he walked into the room without a word. There were beginning apologizes but they stopped when he simply wrapped his arms around his friend and held him close. Feeling like he was lighter and warmer than before because some poison had left his system.

Not everything of course.

Never everything.

It was the first bad day Gavin had and in comparison with the ones that were coming it was harmless. There was an unspoken rule to keep Ray away from him during that time, knowing how fragile the knight could be in that matter.

Gray.

That's how Michael had called those days and it had quickly become a secret code between him and Ryan.

Gray Days could be very different. Gavin could go from refusing to interact at all to screaming and yelling. Michael could deal with the anger, he knew those emotions good enough and sometimes they fought until their throats were raw and dry, calling each other terrible things before one of them either started crying or laughing. Sometimes both.

But it was cleansing in some way.

The silent Gray Days were scary. Sitting next to a bed and not hearing Gavin was terrifying. Sometimes he could talk himself into believing he was already gone, that he had died next to him. Of course there was the soft breathing he heard but that just wasn’t enough to convince him. So he searched for the body, searched for warmth and contact and he knew that Gavin didn't want to be touched, that he wanted to be alone but he couldn't help himself.

Ryan usually took care of those days. He was better with them, reading out loud or just for himself, always close enough if Gavin chose to say something. At the beginning it would last a few hours, later it could be days with barely a word.

Ray of course knew what was going on. He wasn't stupid. But he was thankful and so no one really mentioned it.

It was an odd twist of fate that Ray happened to be the one to stay with him when the mark moved again. When Ryan found them later Gavin was still unconscious and curled up in the others lap. Shaking hands brushed through his hair, staining the strands red with oozing blood as Ray hummed.

It was Gavins lullaby.

“Are you alright?”, Ryan asked and he should have known better. Dark eyes found him and a growl shook through the knight as he bared his teeth. The counselor considered briefly to step closer but knew he was pushing his luck. They had trained, yes and the demon was more comfortable with him now but not when Gavins blood was painting the sheets.

It was a significant amount, far more than Rays. It was only logical now that the mark was bigger but he had to think of an hourglass.

After Gavin dying there was only Rays life left to wager with and they were sharing it. It was like sand, slowly dropping down from Ray to Gavin, giving him his own life. But Gavin had flipped the hourglass and now it was slowly pooling back, filling Ray with the time that was rightfully his.

But leaving Gavin empty.

Three-quarters, Ryan thought as he managed to catch a glimpse of the mark. He leaned against the door, waiting until the King would wake up to calm Ray down.

Three-quarters. Their time was running out.

 

Ryan was reading a book when Michael and Lindsay knocked and stepped in. They were going to head of to Werringtal in the morning to give Geoff and Jack the opportunity to meet with Gavin one more time. Ryan wasn't happy with the kings decision even though he could understand it. But he feared that Geoff might make his condition worse with some wrong words and he wasn't sure if he could hold himself back if he did so. They were all wearing thin.

On the other hand the counselor didn't believe that even Geoff would be this cruel.

The king sat up in his bed, greeting both of them and wishing them good luck on their journey. It was what he had expected until: “Ryan, Michael? Could you two wait outside for a moment? I want to have a talk with Lindsay.”

The guardian looked as surprised as all of them but she gave the warrior a quick touch. He nodded and not for the first time Ryan noticed their unique way of communication. As if every small contact meant something different.

“Sure.”, he simply said and he and Michael walked out of the room. They sat down, still a bit curious.

“Any clue what they are talking about?”, the warrior asked.

“No but probably something about the trip.”

It took around twenty minutes until Lindsay stepped out, a bit pale and with wet eyes as she held the door open: “Michael? He wants to talk to you now.” None of her emotions seemed to reach her voice and Ryan was impressed by it. So he simply watched the warrior walk into the room, completely unaware of her shaking.

After the door closed, she took his chair and gently wiped her eyes.

“Are you alright?”, Ryan asked and felt a bit dumb because it was obvious that she wasn't. Breathing heavily, she shook her head but remained quiet so he did as well. Her fingers played with the fabric of her skirt as she seemed to ponder deeply. Nearly ten minutes later she looked up and cleared her throat: “He is saying goodbye, you know. Just in case... we are too late.”

Words that felt like a dark pit beneath their feet that they couldn't escape.

“Oh.”, Ryan simply made in hope it would stop him from thinking too much about it. Not that he actually considered it to work.

“Michael won't like that.”, she muttered and sure enough they could hear a raised voice. She smiled a bit at the timing.

They listened to the fight getting more heated even though it was hard to tell because they could only hear one of them. Getting to her feet, she stood up and faced the door as if she knew it would fly open in the next second. Michael stormed out but none of them had expected that he would drag Gavin behind him. The king had a hard time keeping up, the cane clacking furiously on the floor.

“What are you doing?”, the guardian asked as they passed her.

“Fucking going stargazing.”, he hissed. “Join in, it'll be fucking romantic and fun. Right, Gav?”

“Michael...”

“Stop!”, Ryan had also stood up and waited until the warrior turned towards him, cradling the king to his chest. “Why?”

“It's too cold outside! He'll get si-”

“Fuck that.”, was the short answer. “I won't let him stay any long in that room and be fucking miserable!”

“I am serious, Michael!”

“Well, me too!”

“Michael, if he get's sick...” He left the sentence hanging but it was clear what he meant. Gavin wasn't strong enough to deal with a sickness right now. Getting a simple cold would mean his end.

The king looked at him begging but the light vanished in his eyes as he realized what his counselor wanted to say. If the mark didn't take him, it might not count as payment and he couldn't let that happen. Sighing, he shifted away from his friend: “He's right... I should go ba-”

“No way!” Shedding his coat, Michael draped it tightly around his shoulder.

“That's not nearly enough! I'm sorry but I can't let yo-”

“Linds.”, the warrior just said and Ryan turned towards her. She was carrying Gavins blanket, a determined look on her face before she nodded to the empty room: “Then grab whatever you think is necessary.”

“Let's go.” Crouching down, Michael offered a piggyback ride. For a moment Gavin didn't move, a quick pleading look directed to his counselor before he got on the others back. Burying his face in the curls, he couldn't help but smile as he was carried through the hallways.

“Thank you.”, he whispered, holding on tight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Everything for my boy.”, Michael replied proudly. “At least if he doesn't forget his promise.”

“No dying while you are away?”

“No dying while I am away, damn right!”

 

Ray neared the figures on the ground slowly, his eyebrows raised as he caught Ryans eyes. The counselor shrugged defeated.

Gavin was laying next to him, so wrapped up in blankets and hats and his scarf that nothing more than his eyes were visible. It was enough to show that he was smiling at him and Ray gladly smiled back. A bit further away was Michael and Lindsay laid on his chest, both covered in a big blanket and their intertwined hands on top of it.

Deciding to leave them some privacy, Ray settled next to the counselor, shivering at the coldness of the roof. Ryan lifted his blanket and with burning cheeks the knight scooted closer, letting his head rest on the others arm.

“So...”, he muttered. “Michael?”

“Yeah.”, Ryan sighed and Gavin chuckled on the other side.

“Rye? Did you learn some new constellations?”, he asked amused.

“I am afraid I did not.”

“You suck.”

“You suck, too.”, he replied lovingly as he squeezed the kings arm.

“I know some.”, Lindsay mentioned and she began to point out the stars with the hand that wasn't holding Michaels. She went through the few they already knew but told them about so many more and the tales they told.

They listened in silence and at some point Gavin drifted off. He didn't want to, he never really did and when he came back, Ryan was gently laying him on his bed. The same room as before, dull against the raw beauty of the sky but easier to deal with now.

“Sorry for keeping you locked inside.”, Ryan whispered, his words laced with guilt. “Sorry for being the bad one.”

Reaching out, Gavin took his hand and intertwined their fingers: “Love you.”

Looking up a bit surprised, he started to smile bitterly: “Love you, too.”

 

“My King.”

“Lord.”, Ryan corrected the guard at the door. “It's still Lord, not King.”

“Of course. Please forgive me.” Still he bowed slightly: “The carriage with the guests has arrived, my Lord.”

“Bring them in.” The counselor watched him go before turning to Ray: “They were fast.”

“Yeah.”, he muttered tense. None of them really looked forward to the visit of Geoff and Jack but it was Gavins wish and there was nothing they could do. “Not a good day for it.”, the knight added. A Gray Day.

Gavin had begged them to leave him alone for a while and so they had both found themselves in the throne room, trying to catch up on the work but it was a slow process because their mind and heart weren't with them.

“Let's make the best out of it.”, Ryan offered with a small glance to the empty throne before he stood up. Ray was quick to be at his side, waiting until the door opened again and even after all they've been through he couldn't help but smile as he saw Jack walk in. It fell quickly as Ryan dismissed the guard and they stood in a stunning silence as Ray tried to progress what he was seeing.

He swallowed thickly before turning to Ryan, seeing the shock also on his face as Jack finally spoke: “He is not coming.”

It was a crushing truth as the blacksmith sighed deeply. Bowing his head he whispered: “I am so sorry.”

For a moment that was the only noise in the room as the horror threatened to sink in and carefully Ryan cleared his throat: “What do you mean he is not coming? It's his son!”

A helpless shrug was his only answer as he tried to make sense of this all. Because Ryan had imagined many scenarios and most of them had been bad. But even after all... he hadn't see that coming. After what little he knew about Geoff he had at least believed...

“No...”, Ray whispered next to him, a hand reaching up to cover his mouth. “That will kill him... Oh god that will surely kill him!”

Nobody even dared to try and tell him otherwise.

“But... I don't understand.”, Ryan continued, grasping for any straw now. “He agreed! Gavin sent him a damn letter and he said he would come!”

“He did.”, Jack nodded. “And then he changed his mind. I tried to... he's stubborn, you see? I guess I should have tried more... but I lost my patience with him and headed off earlier. I- I have no way to defend his actions.”

Ryan wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. After all it wasn't! Jack wasn't the one who stayed behind to neglect his child once again. The one who didn’t care about his own sons wish on his deathbed!

But his rage and his anger searched for a way out as his hands curled to tight fists.

“We can't tell him!”, Ray begged as he tugged at his sleeve. “Ryan, we can't tell him! It will be the end, he won't recover from that! It will be his death! We have to lie! We have to think of something!”

“Lie?”, the counselor growled low. “What should we say? That Geoff had something more important to do? What difference would that make! He sealed Gavins death! That's what he wanted from the beginning! It isn't enough that it will happen without doubt, it's not even fast enough for him! He wants to fucking do it himself! He doesn't even want the dirt on his hands!”

“Bu-”

“Let me talk to him.”, Jack offered. “I will talk with Gavin. I will explain it.”

“What is there to explain!”

“The truth. He deserves to know it. I am Geoffs mirror... I will stand for his faults.”

“I should have killed him!”, the counselor growled. “I should have killed him the moment he stepped back out of the Nether! Even if it hurt Gavin; it wouldn't as much as this right now!”

“I'll deal with it.”, Jack assured him again. “Please bring me to him.”

 

“Sorry for yelling at you.”, Ryan muttered as they stood in front of the kings private room. “It's not your fault at all.”

“You had all the right, I don’t judge you.”, the blacksmith replied calmly. “I was also furious.”

“At least you came.”, Ray offered. “He will be very happy.”

“I hope so.”

“Let's see first how he is. He wasn't in the best of moods to-” The door opened as Gavin slowly stepped outside. His eyes lit up and he laughed weakly: “Jack! I really did hear right; you are here!”

Ryan could pinpoint the few moments he had seen Jacks composure slip and right now it was as clear as daylight. There was shock over the fragile body in front of him, the porcelain skin stretched over bones as the king had to lean against the wall to keep himself upright.

“Buddy!” He crossed the distance with a single step and Gavin was practically falling towards him, humming happily when he was embraced tightly.

“Missed you, Jack.”

“God, you are cold!”

“And you are so very warm.”, he cooed, snuggling closer. “Like always...”

“Bring him back to bed.”, Ryan instructed quietly. He had never experienced the blacksmith so helpless, surprised by the weakness the king was radiating. But he caught himself quickly, scooping the limp body up before walking into the room. Discreetly, the counselor closed the door behind them and went to settle down, knowing he might have to wait longer than his patience would allow him.

“You know, that could be us soon.”, Ray whispered, staring at the closed door.

“What do you mean?”

“In the next weeks... days maybe, we will be called into that very room alone and then he will say goodbye. Like he has done with Lindsay and Michael and is probably doing now with Jack. We will be next.”

“I guess so.”

“I don't think I can do that.”

“Of course you can.”

Finally he managed to rip his eyes from the door to look at the counselor: “I can't stop imagining what would have happened... if I chose differently... when I hadn't made this deal, all of this...”

“There was no way for you to know.”

“Sometimes I think about making another deal.”, he continued darkly without even listening to his words. “To safe him now... but then I realize we would just walk in a circle. Paying more and more until nothing is left.”

“Gavin wouldn't want that.”

“No.”, he shrugged. “It's just really hard. I am not sure what I will do after... after _that._ ”

Thinking about it for a moment, Ryan stepped closer: “You'll be my counselor.”

“You think that's a good idea? Do you remember what happened last time?”

“I do. But I doubt you will kill me again.”

“You don't know that. Nobody can tell how my demon will react.”

“I won't tolerate anyone but you.” Ryan shrugged as if the discussion was closed with that and the knight smiled thin: “You spent too much time with Gav, you start to sound like him.”

They fell into a soft silence as they waited. It was around ten minutes later when Jack stepped out again, closing the door gently with a dark look on his face.

“How did it go?”, Ray asked immediately.

“Not sure. He wanted to think for a while and asked me to leave him alone.”, the blacksmith muttered. “He seemed to be very tired.” Turning around, he faced Ryan and a new determination formed in his eyes: “You searched for ways to stop it, right?”

“Of course.”

“Show me everything you found. Tell me everything you know. Maybe we can figure something out.”

“Gladly.” He didn't think he'd missed a damn thing, not by the amount of times he and Michael went through all of it but if so... he wouldn't give a fuck if Jack found it.

They settled in the throne room, Ray a bit further away because after everything he still didn't want to hear about his deal and what terrifying things they had found out about demons. So he worked in peace as Ryan explained quietly, giving the blacksmith pages over pages with hints he had found in books that could maybe relate to the topic, all littered with theories that for the most part were unrealistic and just things that had come to his or Michaels mind. But writing them down felt like a step forward even if it wasn't. To do that was a huge help to not get desperate in the first months until they had slowly and painfully let go.

Jack listened attentively, demanding breaks to read through some things again and ask questions. It was while reading through an old tale of children born with marks all over their bodies when Rays chair clattered, the sound loud and sudden in the quietness of the room.

Both men turned around, finding the knight on his knees as he gasped for air. He pressed his hands to his chest but even though it was painful, the most painful one in over half a year there was no red. No blood.

Flinching at each movement of his wrist, he looked down and found the mark in its normal black. It was small on the back of his hand and he could watch it disappear, tiny fragments floating from his skin and vanishing into thin air.

Someone was talking to him as they came closer but he couldn't help watching. Because it didn't stop!

It didn't cut into his flesh, it didn't burn and turn red and bleed. But most of all it didn't stop!

He watched with horror as the mark disappeared with a speed that set him on fire, panic filling his body as he was pulled to his feet. He fought against the grip and ran. Ran and ran and ran because it was happening. It was happening right now and Gavin was dying!

He could feel the life spilling into him as he dashed through the hallways and he dared anyone to stand in his way. He'd slice them up with a single clean cut! Reaching the door, he nearly ripped it from its hinges as he found Gavin curled up on his side. Stumbling into the bed he turned him onto his back, ripping the blanket away to see better. “Stop!”, he screamed into the face, pale and wet from tears and cold sweat. “Gavin, stop it!”

“I'll be good...”, he whispered through bruised lips. “So sorry, Geoffy... I'll be good now...”

“No!”, Ray howled, watching as the cracks spread on the others wrist and he scratched on his own skin. Retracing his vines with new red lines to offer more time. It didn't work. It never worked! It was just a mere illusion of power, a cruel joke that someone played on him and he hated the punch line of it.

“You didn't even say goodbye!”, he screamed, his fist crashing on the others chest. “How dare you! You are suppose to say goodbye! You said it to everyone else but not to me! Fuck you! Fuck you, Gavin! That's against the fucking rules!” He hit him again and suddenly the king blinked, his green eyes clear.

“I thought about ways to change it all, Ray.”, he said, not a shiver in his voice. “But I still haven't found a solution. I still don't know how to get out of it.”

“What?”, he asked confused but then the eyes rolled and only the white was left. “No! Gavin! That was not a goodbye!” He took a huge breath and threw his head into his neck, screaming so that everyone and everything could hear: “I offer what you demand! I'll make another deal! Grant him more time! I'll take his place, I sw-” A hand covered his mouth as he was ripped from the bed and he fought, screeching as he bit and scratched and kicked and punched to get free, to get back! The grip was strong, even as he threw his weight at it as he saw Jack shaking the king. Pretty words like 'Buddy!' and 'Wake up! You have to wake up from this nightmare!' mixing with his own wishes 'Open your eyes!' and 'Breathe! You have to breathe!'.

Before a single sentence cut through the looming death in the room: “Is he your only father?” And the green was back, weak and shocked by the anger in Jacks voice: “Didn't I do just as much as him? Weren't I the one who was always able to calm you down! So why should his word be so much more worth than mine!”

“Jack...”, the king breathed, barely audible.

“Fuck Geoff! He doesn't want you dead, you know he's too soft for that! During the time in Werringtal he opened up to you again and that scares him! That's the reason he is not coming! He's a fucking coward! And you are not allowed to be one too! I forbid you!”

Ray tasted copper as the silence fell upon them, only interrupted by Jacks heavy breathing as he and Gavin stared at each other. Big drops landing on the kings face and he joined right in.

“Sorry.”, he said weakly. “So sorry, Jack.”

“Good boy.”, came the answer as he wiped stray tears from the pale face. “That's my Buddy. That's my son. Keep on breathing.”

He did. In painful wheezes, his gaze never faltering.

Ray reached out but was moved, dragged by Ryan out of the room and his legs were shaking too much to even consider resisting. He fell to his knees the moment he wasn't supported anymore and he sat there in shock, his whole being trembling as he slowly lifted his arm.

The mark was tiny, a single finger able to cover it completely and he wanted to throw up. Throw up all those bad thoughts and the taste of blood on his tongue. Ryan was sitting down next to him, his arms littered in scratches, his palm bitten and he let his head fall into his intact hand.

Without much thinking Ray crawled into his lap, curling against the others chest and the arms were around him in an instant. He had never been held so tightly.

 

Jack was a godsend. He let the Gray Days vanish into some dull hours. His mere presence was able to calm the king down, luring him to listen to stories when everything else ended up being too much of a strain for him.

And most things were. Eating seemed to physically hurt him, most of it he couldn't even keep inside. It made him become even weaker which caused him to sleep for most of the day.

Still the first thing he did after waking up was usually the same: “When will Michael come back?”

That was hard to tell. Ryan couldn't even imagine the reaction of the warrior after reaching Werringtal and finding Geoff still there. But damn, he'd pay to see it.

It was a welcome thought. Always able to get a grim smile on his face just like right now as he walked down the hallway, ready to take over for Jack and stay with Gavin for the next hours.

Only that there was already someone in front of the door and his smile fell as his rage boiled. He couldn’t even remember the last steps, he remembered the presence of Edgar briefly but then only the satisfaction of slamming Geoffs body against the wall, listening to the surprised gasp before his fingers choked it away, squeezing so powerful around the others windpipe.

And Edgar was right there, luring him to tighten the grip, to shake the life of the man out and he accepted gladly.

_Do you want the strength of an army?_

But all at once his demon was gone, hiding from the marks the other was wearing and he could feel Geoff tearing at his hands.

He pressed harder, gladly listening to the dying gasps before there was a stronger grip on his shoulder, ripping him away. A loud wheezing as the first king forced air down his lungs and what a terrible noise it was! Ryan was ready to jump at him again but Jack was faster, his fist crashing against Geoffs face and sending him to the ground. It was like a slap for the counselor as well because he finally realized what he had nearly done. Flexing his fingers until the stiffness left them, he watched how the blacksmith held his hand out and pulled Geoff back on his feet.

“You know you deserved that.”, Jack said before taking a closer look on the others face, checking if he had hurt him seriously. He halted when he found a slowly healing bruise: “Seems like I wasn't the only one. I figured Michael would get mad at you. Glad he punched some sense into you.”

“Wasn't Michael.”, Geoff admitted with a harsh voice, rubbing his throat. “He tried to but Lindsay held him back. But damn, she also has a nice punch.”

Ryan felt a spark of pride for the girl before he stepped up again: “How did you even get in here?”

“What did you expect?”, the man lashed at him. “That the guards will stop me if I have a talk with them? This is still my ca-”

“But what are you _doing_ here? You are not welcome anymore!”, Ryan screamed, breathing hard in the upcoming silence. “What makes you think that you can always cause so much damage and then just act like nothing happened! You nearly killed him! And it wasn't even the first time! Who gave you the fucking right! Who do you think you are!”

Geoff remained silent before shrugging: “Where is he? I want to-”

“He asked you a question, Geoffrey.”, Jack muttered and the first king threw him a betrayed look. It faltered before it died down as he sensed that he had crossed the line once and for all. That now he couldn't help but tell the truth.

“He is my son.”, he said quietly. “And I love him.”

Ryan launched himself back at him, eyes fixated an the marks his fingers had left on the others throat, ready to leave more, to dig until there would be blood spilling. Jack caught him and he fought against it, wishing Ray was with him. Because Ray would be so glad to kill, Ray would do such a wonderful job – he had thought him well. If it was for the knight he was ready to just watch.

“Rye!”

He froze at the sound of Gavins voice, feeling the tugging at his heart because his mirror called for him and he should listen. Straightening up, he turned around. Half expecting the king to stand behind him but of course that wasn't possible. He was too weak to walk but it was true that they were having this fight way too close to his room. Jack had even left the door open as he stormed out.

Without granting the two men another look, he walked into the kings chamber and made sure to close the door behind him. If Geoff dared to even consider walking in...

“Rye?”, Gavin asked and it sounded wrong. “You look scary...”

And finally he saw. He saw the king out of bed, down on his knees as if he had tried to reach them to... to do what? To break them apart?

Gavin looked up to him frightened but way more worried and Ryan felt his jaw unclench and his fists loosen. “Sorry.”, he whispered and as the king reached out, he sat down in front of him. Letting himself be pulled close, he rested his head in the crook of the others neck, trying to calm his frantic beating heart. And with each inhale he breathed in Gavins scent but there was nothing left of the warmth. It was just exhausting sickness and damp sweat. Weak trembling and coldness.

Always coldness.

Still he would miss it dearly.

“Geoff is out there.”, Gavin whispered disbelieving and raising his head, Ryan nodded. “He came for me.” There was no spark in the green eyes at those words. Just confusion and hurt and betrayal. And a deep tiredness. “I don't know if I want to see him anymore.”

“I will sent him away if you want to.”, the counselor assured eagerly before combing through the hair that was flattened on the others forehead. “I will kill him if he hurts you again.”

“We still need him for Werringtal. You still need him.”, Gavin insisted quickly. “I am sorry to say that but it's true.”

“Alright.”, sighing, Ryan picked him up to lay him down again and frowned at his weight. Like he was carrying nothing. Tugging him into his blanket, he fluffed his pillow before meeting his weak grin: “Are you bringing me to bed again, Rye?”

And this time the counselor simply chuckled: “Always.”

“What a nice word.” Settling down, the king took a deep breath before nodding to himself: “Would you give me my crown?”

The crown was resting on top of a shelf since months and as Ryan went to get it, it had already gathered dust. Blowing it off, he offered it and watched as Gavin put it on: “You sure about this?”  
“I have some things to tell him.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

The king shook his head but smiled thankfully: “No need, I want to make it quick. Not that I really want to say goodbye to Jack but... if I sent them back Michael will come home. I really miss him.”

“I'll be in front of the door so if he says or does anything...”  
“I'll call.”

“Promise?”

“Promise!”

“Sure then.” With some hesitation, the counselor forced himself to step out of the room, finding Geoff right in front of him: “He wants to see you.”

“I figured.”

He hated this man. More than anything right now he wanted to hurt him. But beside that he just let him pass and closed the door behind him. Throwing Jack a small glance, he began to wait, wondering what they were talking about right now. He couldn't really hear it, their voices too muffled by the distance and maybe he could eavesdrop by standing right next to the door but he wasn't that rude. Gavin was saying his goodbye and this was too private so he just stood there with crossed arms like a statue. Only once did he look up, hearing the king scream and he was ready to charge right in but he recognized the tone quick enough. Not hurt or fear but rage. And Geoff deserved every word that came from this emotion.

It died down quickly and the muffled conversation continued, far longer that what he had imagined but when Geoff stormed out of the door he was still caught off guard. The brief glance he got on the older ones face wasn't what he had expected. He had never seen the man cry before.

But then Jack was shielding him from his gaze and as they walked away, Ryan was quickly with his mirror. Shaking and exhausted he sat in his bed, the sheets tightly crumbled in his hands. There was a fire in his eyes that Ryan had considered missing and it warmed his heart.

“They will leave in the morning.”, Gavin muttered before turning away from him. “I think I need to sleep a bit now.”

 

“When will Michael be back?”

“Probably in the next few days.”

“I think it will move tomorrow.”, the king said as he observed his wrist. “Maybe even tonight, it feels close.”

“It does.”, Ray agreed, feeling the itching underneath his skin.

“You think... this will be the final turn?”

“No.”, the knight said quickly. Mostly because it shouldn't be and partly because he really did believe so. Thinking back to the first days wearing his mark there had been a tiny gap between the lines. Less than there was now.

“I see.”, Gavin sighed quietly, making his friend look up.

“You sound disappointed by that.”  
“I am so tired. Tired of waiting and tired of sleeping and tired of feeling like this.” Shrugging, he added: “This might be stupid because I don't want to die. I certainly want to stay with you but... not like this... never like this.”

Lowering his gaze, Ray felt the terrible weight on his back: “I am sorry. I made this happen.”

“No.”  
“Yes. Thanks to my deal you are in this situation. Thanks to me you are in this much pain. If I would have just... then at least... you wouldn't have to suffer this much. I assure you... I swear on everything – this is the exact opposite of what I wanted.”

Reaching out, the king took the others hand and carefully intertwined their fingers: “You gambled me more time. Thanks to you I was granted over a year!”

“A painful, cruel year.”

“That's not true! I had a lot of fun! I was able to spent more time with you all and I was really glad! So what? The last part of this year isn't that great, fine. But the beginning was great! We got to watch the stars and build a snowman! And the day at the lake! Or remember when we hid Michaels cane?”

“That was terrible of us.”

“And a lot of fun!”, Gavin laughed warmly. “That's what I try to keep in mind and I want you to do that too! Even if it seems that this deal just brought out all the terrible pain; it did not! Also I decided it myself. You are not guilty.”

Being silent for a long time, Ray tried to compose himself before asking: “Gav?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you saying goodbye?”

“You wanted me to.”, the king reminded him, squeezing the hand weakly. “But no. We will still see each other and we will still talk to each other! I just want to say some things that are important.”

“Me too. I've been thinking about this a lot.”, Ray admitted slowly. “But it is really strange and stupid. There are so many things in my head-”

“But you can't get them out of your mouth?”

“Yeah.”  
“I feel the same. But I felt that each and every single time by now so maybe it's normal.”, sighing his voice was wavering a little. “I'd like to think that sometimes you don't need words. Sometimes... the other person just knows.”

“I'd like to think that, too.”

“You believe it is true?”

Ray looked him in the eyes but as he opened his mouth his words got stuck. So he closed his mouth again and nodded slowly. Smiling, Gavin squeezed his hand one more time: “You have to take care of Ryan, alright?”  
“I will.”

“And Ray?”

“Mh?”

“Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Gav.”

 

The mark did move in the early morning hours when the sky was still dull and the light falling in gray. It tinted the blood that was spilled nearly black as Gavin passed out instantly, leaving Ryan to take gentle care of his wrist, cleaning it until he made sure there was a small gap between the cracks in his skin.

He stared at it for the longest time, making sure it wasn't tainted by any red and burned into his brain. He didn't want to forget it. The last line of hope.

“There is a chessboard.”, Gavin said around noon and the counselor flinched. He hadn't expected the king to wake up this day at all. “I really want to play.”

“Where exactly?”  
“On the shelf over there.” He watched Ryan get up and couldn't help himself but ask: “When will Michael be back?”

“I am guessing tomorrow.”, he answered as he set the board up. “Maybe the day after. Really depends on the weather.”

Sighing heavily, he sat up straight, wincing a bit at the pain in his back: “I see...”

“You really do miss him.”  
“I do.” Having the white pieces, he moved his pawn and they played in silence. It wasn't at the same pace as usually and they had to pause a few times when shaking fingers would knock the pieces down instead of moving them. They were just sitting in a comfortable silence, the game nearly over when a small wine escaped the king.

Looking up, Ryan found him blinking frantically, his eyes unfocused.

“Gavin?”

Now the gaze went past him, a little over his right shoulder. “Yeah?”, he asked with a trembling voice as his eyes overflowed. His lip started to quiver as he pulled his legs against his chest, knocking the board over. “Sorry!” Pale and fragile hands wandering over sheets, trying to find pieces that were scattered in its folds.

Ryan simply watched, feeling sick in his stomach because he saw fingers barely missing a clearly visible black bishop in their search before they gave up, allowing the king to curl into himself: “When will Michael be back?”

“Tomorrow.”, the counselor mumbled quietly, observing unseeing green eyes as sorrow filled them.

“Tell him I tried and that I am sorry.”

“You tried what?”

“He'll know.” His inhales were hectic and in fear as he requested: “Can you ask Ray to come as well?” And as the other didn't find the strength to answer, he added: “Rye? Please?”

Carefully the counselor went to the door, feeling like he was walking through muddy water as he sent one of the guards to get the knight. Sitting back down, he tried to manage some words at the shivering form in front of him but instead he just collected the board and the scattered pieces so that the king could rest more comfortably.

“Sorry about the game.”, Gavin muttered, his gaze empty. “Wasn't planned like this. I figured we could play a few rounds and talk. I screwed up. But who do you think would have won?”

Swallowing heavily, Ryan forced himself to answer: “Me.”

“Yeah.”, the king nodded thoughtful. “I believe so too. You will be a great ruler.”

“Ga-”

“I don't think I have to tell you to look after them. You'll do that anyway.”

“Plea-”

“This is goodbye. I am so grateful that I got to know you.”

Such crushing words. They weighted immensely on his heart and Ryan noticed his eyes sting and his breath going out in painful gasps.

The door was opened and the counselor looked up, finding the very same emotions in Rays face that he was feeling. It was a mix of so many that it made him dizzy and he wanted to help the knight, explain to him that it was happening right now. That Gavin was probably blind and surely dying and they had to be very strong now.

It wasn't needed because he saw that Ray understood. He saw it in the brown eyes, appearing so deep now that he nearly got lost in them.

Then the knight moved, sitting down slowly opposite of him. Gavin reached out to clarify it was him and he smiled brightly when their fingers intertwined: “Good.”

And then he fell asleep.

None of them said a word as they listened to the breaths, waiting for them to get more shallow or just stop completely. It didn't happen at first but he grew colder, his skin seeming breakable and waxen.

They passed on lunch as Ray held his hand and Ryan brushed through weary hair, nearly expecting it to fall out when he got tangled in a knot. Occasionally he would check on the mark, nearly giving in to the illusion that it was moving, flowing like water but it was probably only his mind playing tricks.

The rare sun was beginning to set on the short winter day as the first breath was skipped. It was like a slap in the face, the rhythmically sound the only noise in the room for so long.

Ray sat up straighter, his lips a tight line but then Gavin inhaled again, short and flat. Someone dared to knock on the door at some point and Ryan didn't even bat an eye on it, checking that the gap was still present, listening to the shallow breaths as they became less frequently.

The king gave a small noise, his eyes slowly rolling beneath the lids. There was a distant _tap, tap_ and Ryan barely registered it until the knight actually stood up. The door was blasted open and Michael stood there, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“They wouldn't let me in.”, he explained quickly, the cane falling from his shaking hands. “They said none of you gave them permission because you were with the King! And that the King was dying!” There was a sob ripping through his body: “Gavin?”

None of them answered and the warrior teared up, his face contorting: “I hurried up! I got here as fast as possible! He wanted... he promised!”

“Come here.”, Ray finally whispered, reaching out his hand. “He is weak.”

Michael looked like he was ready to collapse as he hurried towards his friend, letting himself be guided until he sat on the bed.

“Wake up!”, Ryan said sternly, shaking the king. “Gavin, you have to wake up!”

Michaels hands roamed over his body until they found the face, feeling the lids flutter against his fingertips. “Boy?”

There was a movement against his palms and he knew there was his answer. His fingers found the others lips to confirm it and found them smiling. He smiled back before he felt them go limp again, Gavins head rolling to the side.

And he knew that this was the end.

The very same silence engulfed them again until the breaths ran out and left him with nothingness. He was crying and he guessed the others were too, if he concentrated he could hear shaking sobs but besides that there was silence.

Nothing left in the body next to him. It was empty and cold, the left hand twitching slightly against his thigh as if Gavin tried to hold on to him but it was probably only the mark making its full circle.

It was finally over.

 

Ryan was standing on the balcony, staring down on the crowd. On his head rested Gavins crown because he hadn't decided on a new one yet. To his left stood Ray as his counselor and to his right stood Michael as his knight. In the back, guarding the door was Lindsay.

They had all remained quiet while he had talked, telling his folk that King Ramsey had passed away after a long and tiring sickness. That he himself was the chosen successor.

He didn't promise that he would change or said anything that wasn't remotely necessary. The wound was still too fresh but at least he had managed to get something out of his mouth.

Ray was mostly silent those past days.

And now he was trapped in the very same silence as he watched the people, seeing some of them mourning and that was good. Some of them were scared and that was bad.

It didn't even matter what he would promise anyway, they wouldn't believe him like this. He could only hope that Gavin had been right.

And then the cheers came, fake and loveless: “All hail King Haywood.”

Please don't. Please don't say it, it's a curse. It's always a lie and it's always a curse because the crown sings for blood and is forged by it.

In the end none of his begging was heard.

“Long live The King!”

 

 

 

 

 

_I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map_

_I knew that somehow I could find my way back_

_Then I heard your heart beating; you were in the darkness too_

_So I stayed in the darkness with you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that.  
> First of all; there will be an Epilogue soon but it's for you to decide to read it or stick with this end. This is entirely up to you guys.  
> Mostly though I want to thank all of you! Once again this has been a great experience and I am still overwhelmed by the feedback, the headcanons and the fanart I got! Big thanks to Rachel who has become a friend I love dearly thanks to that but also to all the others I have met thanks to that!  
> Thank you guys big time! *bows down*


	17. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The price.  
> His life.  
> The Truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go with the Epilogue. As said before this is entirely optional to read so think about it before you go for it.  
> This will explain Gavins price and The Truth and leaves a lot of room to interpret. If you guys want I can explain this further in notes and trivia? Let me know!

Epilogue

The Truth

 

When he died – the second time, in The End; it was strange that he was forced to clarify it, wasn't it? – and had seen Ray make this deal, he had been glad at first. It meant to stay with them and that was all he wanted. It also meant that Ray would never leave him and he finally believed that. But hearing about the price had smothered every joy he felt.

Banging against the invisible walls separating them, he had screamed at Ray to stop, wanting to destroy the smile on the knights face. As if he was blessed and not cursed.

And Gavin had offered. Offered everything because it wasn't fair.

The price.

His life.

The Truth.

He had accepted and there was a scream in his head and this realm and in the whole world, so hopeless and insane and torn that it would remain in the back of his mind until the end of his days.

Now that he was dead – the third time, the one in his bed surrounded by the people he loved – the voice finally stopped screaming and the dark figure behind his lids was standing with him.

“We are at the same point, in the same time and space.”, it said.

“But we are going in different directions.”, Gavin muttered. “Until I come back here.”

“We can hope that you will not.”, it said. “If your choice is the right one than maybe... maybe.”

“I saw the distorted memories. I saw the many, many wrongs.” And he had. So much sorrow, so much death, so much different outcomes. Always the same aftermath.

“We don't have a lot of power to change things. Only words and only a few. You will forget a lot.”, it said.

“I don't want to forget.”

“It was Ray for you?”, it said and Gavin nodded slowly.

“Ray was the one to betray me. He was the one to slay me.”, it said. “Ryan was the one with the deal.”

The dead king looked up a bit surprised: “Can you tell me what the choice of the one before you was?”

“ _'Trust Ryan.'_ ”, it said. “From the moment he stepped into the throne room until the end. They didn't understand. I didn't understand but there was no choice but to listen.”

“And in the end it were just a few words...”, Gavin whispered before shivering. “Just a few words to change so many things.”

“I hope you made a wise choice.”, it said.

“I hope so too.”, the dead king admitted. “You tried to safe me. I am sorry I didn't understand.”

_You are alone._

“I figured if I warned you maybe it wouldn't hurt as much. I figured if I made you believe those words were true you'd push them far enough away.”

_They don't want you._

“I only clung tighter.”

“You did.”, Gavin said before vanishing.

For another moment Gavin just stood there, repeating the words over and over in his head as if he could ever forget them. Blinking, he was in The Nether.

Heat and breaking stone and red and voices like his own, swirling without a body. Wings with fire in every feather.

There was only one body he could see and that one was small and shaking. Freezing even in hell, humming a song.

He fell in, letting both versions sync before they tore and bent and broke as he kneeled down.

 

 

_“Are you afraid of the dark?”_

 

 

 

Fanart by [Sarah](https://starryalpha.tumblr.com)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to play again?  
> □ Yes  
> □ No


	18. Trivia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised the Trivia for G&G!  
> Sorry that it took so long!

_There's a humming in the restless summer air_   
_And we're slipping off the course that we prepared_   
_But in all chaos, there is calculation_   
_Dropping glasses just to hear them break_

 

 

How I got into this mess:

Not as exciting as with RtW; it wasn't a song or a picture that inspired me. I just wanted Ryan to hit Geoff. And then I tripped into this.

So as always; no clue where I was going with that but you know. Just write, right? I knew the characters and so I just let them do their thing. I was slowly building up towards a situation in which I wanted them all to be in. That's why the actual plot starts really late.

Anyway I knew that some things shouldn't be missing; some bloodlust for Ray, Michael having a crush, big brother Ryan – good ol' times, right?

In the end I just had one big goal: I wanted the four main-characters to have an immensely strong bond; that was only to be crushed if I took one of them away. And damn; do I love bonding!

So let's start with the trivia!

 

 

_And the cry goes out_   
_They lose their minds for us_   
_And how it plays out_   
_Now we're in the ring_   
_And we're coming for blood_

 

 

Chapter 1

 

  * I added Kerry in hope to use him later. Well, whoops?

  * I absolutely wanted Lindsay to be a part of the main-characters. Like a counter to Michael and I am so happy I did it!

  * Ryan coming back and getting hugs from the lads was adorable, don't deny it




 

 

Chapter 2

 

  * The first chapter that mainly focused on Lindsay; it took me some time to get used to her. I wanted her to be similar to Michael, but not quite like him. It was really interesting to explore her!

  * I decided to twist the facts a bit and allowed arrows to be fatal for endermen




 

Chapter 3

 

  * The song “Broken Crown” by Mumford & Sons was a huge inspiration for the entire story, be sure to check it out!

  * Jack is precious

  * This chapter was so tense, I felt uncomfortable writing it

  * Shortest chapter of G&G with only 9 pages




 

Chapter 4

 

  * Yay, bonding-time between Michael and Ryan! They didn't have enough scenes together before! Precious beings!

  * Yay, Ryan beating the shit out of Geoff; have to admit: I giggled while writing that

  * Geoff and Jack are old and married

  * I was very proud of Gavin for standing up to Geoff!




 

Chapter 5

 

  * Let's talk about Claudia for a moment. I knew she was an important character that I needed for the progress of the story and she went through some drafts. I actually considered her to be Gavins sister, that's why both of them look alike. Which would make Gavin a prince in the first place and that really amused me but I was quick to throw that idea out (also it was way funnier to let both act like they were courting each other). After that she was suppose to be an assassin who acted like Ingrars daughter while the actual princess was kept safe. Lastly I decided; hey, you have so many kick-ass Kings, how about a mastermind Princess? And so she was born.




Also it still amuses me that people were surprised as she turned out to be evil because the first time I introduced her my Beta was instantly suspecting her.

 

_„I'm sorry. Please stay and I promise I'll be good. I'll be really good.“_ I'll stay in my room and be quiet and I will be really careful, so please don't leave me alone. _He didn't say these words because they confused himself and he felt so many eyes burning on his skin already as he tried to catch his breath but there was a weight on his chest._

– Hey, look who hid a small flashback to Gavins sickness in there. Yes, it was me.

 

Chapter 6

 

  * 90% of this chapter could have been cut out and reattached to chapter 7 but I was in need for some fluff because we have not enough of that

  * Also Ryan spending quality times with his little Lads is essential for all of us

  * Michael being awkwardly in love and Ray teasing him about it as well




 

Chapter 7

 

  * I was actually planning to write the trip through Werringtal only to give Ingrar and Claudia more screentime but I am lazy

  * More fluff, yush! Even after training with Gavin Michael still sucks at dancing




 

Chapter 8

 

  * Oh god, this chapter. I am not comfortable to write about children at all and I try to avoid it. But yeah it's such an important plot-element that I couldn't pass on it any longer. I actually wrote this during chapter 6 and 7 so that I don't have to write about Gavins past for weeks on end. That's why there was a lot of fluff in the chapters prior; I needed some balance!

  * The little girl winning the tournament was of course Lindsay

  * There are so many hints and so much foreshadowing going on, like seriously

  * The chapter gets a lot happier the moment Gavin meets Michael and Ray

  * On the exact day Gavin decides not to become the Prince Regent, Ryan leaves his family in Werringtal

  * Once again; Jack is a godsend




 

Chapter 9

 

  * Might be my proudest moment of Gavin as he stood in front of the masks and was reminded of the Nether and still somehow managed to pull of a smile

  * And then Geoff called him Buddy and ruined everything

  * I laughed to myself while writing the ending about Michaels eyes, knowing I'd stab them out in the next chapter




 

Chapter 10

 

  * The opening scene with Ryan is around 4 pages long and gave me the worst feelings. Big brother Ryan right there

  * I hate fighting scenes. I am awful at them. When I write them I just hang there and complain all day long. Ask the people close to me.

  * I got so much shit for this chapter and rewrote so many things, it was a nightmare

  * I was debating so much if I should take Michaels eyes. I was really interested in writing a blind character for once but also knew it would be incredibly hard to do so – in the end I was glad I chose to take them because it was a great experience!

  * There were a lot of different versions about who was going to be captured. For the longest time I had planned on Lindsay and Ryan




 

Chapter 11

  


  * This chapter was so cut together! Oh you wouldn't believe it! The part when Ryan sees Geoffs marks was suppose to be happening right here after he saved him from an enderman attack (and only because a dead Geoff would make Gavin sad, of course) but this chapter got way too long and too much stuff happened so I took it out – not really happy about that

  * Gavin mentions he gets melancholic/scared each time he sees snow which is a hint to his first death

  * Writing about blind Michael was so much fun!

  * I was actually okay with the fighting in this one

  * Sichora might be creepy and horrible but it turns out it is an adorable ball of fluff around Gavin

  * Gavin killed Ingrar without ever touching him




  


Chapter 12

  


  * One of the most fascinating things for me was exploring how Michaels blindness affected the dynamics of the Lads. After all their protector was now the one in need of protection and it was interesting to see that Gavin switched way easier into that role than Ray did

  * Ray asking Ryan for guidance will always be a soft spot for me (and for Ryan as well)

  * The chapter marks the one and only time Geoff called Ryan by his first name

  * Sichora is highly based on the character Neferpitou of HunterxHunter, who has three main abilities



    1. Doctor Blythe

The ability to heal

    2. Puppeteering

Allowing her to move dead bodies through strings

    3. Terpsichora (Guess where I got the name from)




A puppeteer that controls Neferpitous own body with strings, allowing her to move way past the physical limit

– Terpsichora is a muse in mythology that rules over dance and chorus, that's why to Michael Rays steps sound like dancing.

  


Chapter 13

  


  * Alternative song for this chapter would have been “Warrior” by Imagine Dragons

_The time will come, when you'll have to rise_  
 _Above the best, improve yourself_  
 _Your spirit never dies_  
 _Farewell, I've gone, to take my throne above_

_Don't weep for me_  
 _Cause this will be the labor of my love_



  * Gavins first death at the lake was written long, long before I even started this chapter and for some time I wasn't sure if I should include it or not

  * While Gavin is dying, his demon tells Ryan: _“Make him stop.”_

Ryan thinks it is referring to Gavin dying while the demon was actually talking about Ray making the deal

  * Gavin and Ray appearing dead was the closest I got to breaking Michael in the story yet and still he pulled himself back together in the end. Stubborn brat.



  * Gavins death-scene, counting from the moment the enderman stabbed him to him waking up after Ray made the deal, is over 20 pages long, meaning I wrote nothing else over a week. I was so feed up with it




  


Chapter 14

  


  * The whole chapter is littered with hints about Ray and Gavins deal

  * By the time Ryan begs Gavin never to die again, Gavin is already aware that he will die – so he never answers



  * There was absolutely no way I was going to write a fight against the dragon; sorry guys!




  


Chapter 15

  


  * The fake death-scene of Ray was so sad to write; but I was very happy with it!

  * Oh god, the kissing scene with Lindsay and Michael. I am not good at romance and I was the happiest person in the world when my Beta said it was good, I don't like it much myself xD

  * So I had a little bet with myself that I could make my Beta swear at me because of something that happens in the story. And I was really hoping it would happen the chapter before but it didn't and it didn't happen at Rays death-scene either so I figured, oh well. Nice try still.




And then the moment finally came when Ray broke as Gavin reversed the deal and it was the best thing ever:

[09.12.2014 22:53:36] Raz: fuck you!

[09.12.2014 22:53:42] Jenny: YES

[09.12.2014 22:53:51] Jenny: THIS IS WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR

[09.12.2014 22:53:52] Jenny: FOR

[09.12.2014 22:53:53] Jenny: SO

[09.12.2014 22:53:55] Jenny: LONG

[09.12.2014 22:53:59] Jenny: I am done o/

[09.12.2014 22:54:02] Jenny: that's it

[09.12.2014 22:54:05] Jenny: I reached the peak

[09.12.2014 22:54:07] Jenny: I can rest

 

Chapter 16

 

  * The final chapter goes over 34 pages and is with over 18k words the longest in the entire series

  * Ah yes, the infamous torture-scene. This scene was in my head for the longest time and I never found a place to put it even though I really liked the idea! So in the end I dumped it here and nearly cut it back out again because of the length of the chapter. So glad I let it in because it is an important plot-point for Part 3; Castle Of Glass!

  * Ray refers to scent a lot.

For him Gavin has the scent of “summer nights on the roof”

Michael “Warm and familiar blankets”

and Ryan “Hot chocolate in front of a fireplace.”

He always refers to himself as the “smell of blood” or something similar through each moment.

  * “ _You didn't even say goodbye!”, he screamed, his fist crashing on the others chest. “How dare you! You are suppose to say goodbye! You said it to everyone else but not to me! Fuck you! Fuck you, Gavin! That's against the fucking rules!” He hit him again and suddenly the king blinked, his green eyes clear._

“ _I thought about ways to change it all, Ray.”, he said, not a shiver in his voice. “But I still haven't found a solution. I still don't know how to get out of it.”_

Foreshadowing pretty much?

  * Best Dad-Award goes to Jack! Actually, best Everything-Award goes to Jack. Just give him all the awards!

  * My Beta wrote a version of the final Gavin/Geoff scene; you can find it in _Kings & Queens_

  * Gavins lullaby is “Saturn” by Sleeping At Last




 

 

_We gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves_   
_Roughing up our minds so we're ready when the kill time comes_   
_Wide awake in bed, words in my brain,_   
_"Secretly you love this, do you even wanna go free?"_   
_Let me in the ring, I'll show you what that big word means_

 

 

Epilogue: The Truth

 

  * Basically the timeline splits the moment Young Gavin wakes up in the Nether. He gets out and gets raised by Geoff and Jack. Through some circumstances he makes a deal and has to pay with The Truth. Which sents him back after his death to be the bird-demon, which now tries to aid the next Gavin to not make the same mistake.

They end up in a timeloop which is yet to be broken.




  * Oh gosh, this whole thing could be a story on itself

  * We're going by the multiverse-theory by this one btw, so the timelines still exists after Gavin gets sent back

  * Actually it is several stories in my head but I will not write them down

  * I got that idea while driving home from work, laughed at it and put it off as nonsense. That didn't work apparently because it came back and the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me.

  * I have the previous timeline planned out and the one afterwards; and then a bunch of others thanks to the lovely Rachel who is amazing and inspires me so much, omg you go girl!




 

 

_No-one round here's good at keeping their eyes closed_   
_The sun's starting to light up when we're walking home_   
_Tired little laughs, gold-lie promises: we'll always win at this_   
_I don't ever think about death_   
_It's alright if you do, it's fine_

 

 

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both the graphic and the adorable fanart done by my amazing Beta!
> 
> Thank you guys for reading <3


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